You Were Mine All Along
by Piebald46
Summary: Edward leaves Bella in New Moon and the rest of the Cullen's stay behind. Bella struggles with her growing feelings for Carlisle, and tries to be supportive for him after Esme leaves. Cannon couples, aside from Carlisle/Bella. M rating in later chapters.
1. Chapter 1

"Bella, I'm leaving Forks." His once warm, amber eyes now looked cold like the sun on a winter day.

I felt my jaw gape open. "Alright." I answered automatically. I struggled to come up with something to say to Charlie about why I'd be leaving so soon. "But… Why now? Why not in a year when I graduate?" I questioned slowly.

His cool honey eyes slid from my face to the trees around us. "Bella.. When I say I am leaving… I mean just that."

My breath caught in my throat at the meaning. I shook my head as I realized that he didn't want me to go with him. "Edward, what happened at my party… It was nothing. An accident. I just-"

"-It doesn't matter." He interrupted. His sweet velvet voice suddenly cold and distant. "That's not why I'm leaving." His jaw tightened, while my own flexed with the swallowing of my tears. "I'm leaving because I'm bored with this life here. I'm tired of High School and the façade that my family puts forward. I am not human, Bella." He fixed his golden eyes back on mine, and his features were decidedly not human at all.

"If this has something to do with my soul, then you can have it! It means nothing without you." I choked, my words gargled by the flood of tears threatening to break. My hands clenched into tight fists to prevent them from shaking.

He shook his head slowly. "It's not that either. It's just… You are not good for me."

My entire world stopped and tilted. I felt like I was drowning, the air being squeezed out of my lungs while my vision darkened. "I'm not…good for you." I repeated slowly, trying the words out for myself. They sounded foreign, yet it made perfect sense.

"You aren't." He continued, his musical voice lilted in an accusing tone. "My kind, we need our distractions. This will be the last time you see me."

I shook my head, my fingers tingling to grasp him to me and never let him go. "What about Alice? The rest of your family?" I asked, my voice small.

His eyes darkened considerably. "Well, Carlisle only just started at Forks General, so naturally he'll be staying. Along with the rest of my… family." He grimaced with the word. "If I could force them to come with me to make things easier for you, I would. My only regret is having let this go on for as long as it has. I fear I've made things difficult for you."

I sputtered on a breath. "Edward don't do this. I love you. We belong together." I wanted to voice my opinion better, but could not think of the words needed to explain myself.

"Bella… I'll always love you. In a way, I suppose." He shrugged casually in a way that I knew was not natural for him, yet graceful none-the-less. "We do not belong together, however."

Traitor tears leaked down my face while my body began shutting down and giving up. "There's nothing I can do." I whispered to myself.

"Well, there is one thing." He answered, his vampire hearing making it easy for him to have heard me. "You can take care of yourself. For Charlie's sake." He reached a tentative hand out towards me but then decided against it. "Don't do anything reckless. And in return I'll make you a promise. I will not make it difficult for you, this is the last time you will ever see me. I promise, it will be as if I never existed."

"Please." I whispered while wrapping my arms protectively around my torso, protecting myself from the final blow.

"Goodbye, Bella." He stepped closer and pressed one last icy kiss to my temple as my breathing became labored. I squeezed my eyes shut to stop the tears from falling, and when I opened them he was gone.

"Edward?" I cried, my tears making my vision blurry. "Edward!" I yelled. I ran forward in the direction I thought he may have gone. There was no evidence that he went in any direction at all, but still I walked forward. If I gave up now, it would be over. My stomach clenched painfully with the thought. It couldn't be over.

I walked for what felt like hours, though the only certainty I had of time was that it was now dark. I could barely see in front of my face at all, and yet the only thing I was afraid of was that there was nothing I could do. I tripped on something; possibly a branch. My hand sliced open on a little picker bush, and I cried out. My sobs were wracking my body, so I curled up to keep myself together. Surely I would die from a pain this intense. My body shook violently as I grasped my sides to hold them. My sobs eventually quieted and my body soon relaxed, a uneasy sense of numbness came over me.

I could not feel my pain, nor could I feel the sting from where I'd just ripped open my hand. I no longer noticed the dull ache in my calves from walking through the woods all day. I breathed deeply and realized that the action didn't help. I still felt nothing at all.

"Bella." A high soprano voice called to me. I knew it was Alice, but I could not bring myself to acknowledge her. I felt her tiny, hard arms lift me from the ground. I felt wind on my face for some time, before I realized that I had been set down on the Cullen's pristine white sofa. The realization that I was at his house, with his family, but never going to see him again ripped open a new hole in my chest. I heard a strangled noise, almost like screaming. It took me a whole minute to realize the noise was coming from me.

I forced myself to stop and looked around the room. Six sullen vampires stood around me, and they looked almost as miserable as I was.

I felt the couch dip slightly next to me, and my hands were pulled from their death grip I had on my hair. The cool hands held mine gently. I lifted my gaze to meet whoever's hands I held and was met with Carlisle's despondent gaze. "I'm so sorry, Bella."

My throat was raw and cracked twice before I could finally respond. "Thank you. For staying." I whispered as I gripped his hands tighter. I knew he would hardly notice.

His topaz eyes darkened. "You are our family as much as Edward is. None of us could leave you like that. It was our fault that you learned about us, and we opened our arms to you. We can not turn our backs on you now."

I sucked in a breath. "You stayed because you feel obligated?" I asked, my voice harsh.

"Bella!" Alice interjected. "Of course we feel obligated! More than that though, is that we love you." She crouched in front of me, and I felt Carlisle release my hands. "You are my sister. I know that Edward is my brother too, but he knew what he was doing. If he didn't realize that there would be ups and downs then he doesn't deserve you." I noticed that when she said 'downs' Jasper winced.

My eyes watered. "I love you all too." I croaked. Alice hugged me tight, her sweet smell eased my mind some-what. "I will be here for you, no matter what." Her eyes drifted slightly, and a smile broke across her face. "We will all be here for you." She corrected, her cat-like gaze flicking across everyone in the room.

I nodded gratefully. "I have to call Charlie. He's probably freaking out."

Alice shook her head. "He doesn't know Edward left yet. I told him that you and I were going to have a sleep over because the boys were camping." My heart ached when she said his name. "It gives us some time to think of something to say."

Carlisle glanced at Esme, and for the first time that night I realized her gaze was equally as cold as Edwards was towards me. I grimaced and looked away. I was tearing this family apart yet I was too selfish to leave them alone.

"Actually," Carlisle started, his smooth voice like honey. "I think telling him that he went looking for his birth parents is the best thing to say. It would be the only logical excuse for me to have allowed my 17 year old son go off on his own." I swallowed hard.

"I'll tell him that, then."

Alice smoothed my dirty hair from my face. "I am going to run you a bath. It'll make you feel better." She smiled encouragingly.

I let out a humorless laugh. "I fucking doubt it."

Her eyes lit with surprise at my expression, but she let it go. "You forget, I already _know_ it'll make you feel better." There was a quick breeze past me, and she was gone.

"Jasper." I whispered. I knew he would hear me from his seat across the room.

"Yes, Bella." His southern drawl broke my name up slowly.

"I know you feel like you're to blame, but you aren't." His jaw tightened, but he said nothing. "If anything it's my fault. I should be more careful because I know how much effort you put into being in the same room as me."

He sighed. "It's not your fault. I truly am sorry for trying to… kill you." His eyebrow rose in a silent question to himself as to whether or not that was appropriate.

A nervous bubble of laughter peeled out of me, and I shook my head. "Don't worry about it."

The corner of his mouth quirked up in a half-smile, and he nodded politely. "Bella!" Alice called from the top of the stairs. "Your bath is ready!" I got up on shaky legs and walked past Rosalie and Emmett.

"Hey." Emmett's voice rumbled. I turned toward him and raised an eyebrow at him. "I'm sorry for what he did. No real man…" He squeezed Rosalie tighter to himself. "No honest, caring man would do that to a wonderful woman. He didn't deserve you."

My gut ached at his words, but I felt myself nodding. "It's true." Rosalie's smooth voice concluded, surprising me further.

I swallowed my tears for the millionth time. "Thank you." I turned and made my way upstairs to the Cullen's luxurious bathroom that was, for the most part, untouched. The huge 2 person Jacuzzi tub was filled with bubbles and the aroma of jasmine and chamomile floated through the air. There were dozens of vanilla candles lit around the tub and I could see the steam rising from the bubbles. I suddenly ached to be inside of it.

"I told you!" Alice chirped from the doorway. "You will feel better afterwards. Come to my room when you're done. No rush! Relax. If you need anything, call me." Before I could thank her she was out the door.

I undressed and slowly lowered myself into the perfectly heated tub. I winced when my open cuts submerged in the water, but soon forgot about them. The dull ache in my chest opened again as I thought about the days events. My Edward. My soul mate. I wanted eternity with him and he was gone. A few tears leaked from my eyes and I wiped at them slowly. I wasn't good enough for him. I was stupid. Fragile. Human.

I scrubbed at my face furiously, angered by the burn of the washcloth. My delicate skin. My fucking ass.

I scrubbed at my scalp with the same ferocity, then my arms, my chest. I sobbed loudly when I realized it would make no difference. I couldn't scrub the humanity from my skin. I cried brokenly for everything I had been denied. I cried for being not good enough.

Mostly I cried because I am selfish and I knew if I could, I would hold onto him forever even if I knew he didn't want me. Eventually my sobs died down, and I noticed I had scrubbed quite hard, my skin a painful dark pink. Alice was right though, I did feel marginally better. I climbed out of the tub and blew out the candles. I dressed in the pale green flannel pajama pants and white tank top she left me. There was a white bathrobe too, but I was warm and my skin was raw, so I decided to bring it with me.

I cracked open the bathroom door somewhat embarrassed that everyone heard my crying in the tub. I crept across the hall and knocked on Alice's door, only to have it pulled open the second my knuckles came in contact with the wood.

"Come in, please." She smiled. I noticed she was wearing pajamas too, and it made me crack a small smile. "There's some cream on the dresser, it'll help sooth your skin after your… bath." She finished suggestively. I flushed with embarrassment and mumbled my thanks as I smoothed on the floral scented lotion. She was right, it instantly felt better.

I turned to find her perched in the center of her bed, her delicate hand tapping the space next to her. I pulled myself ungracefully onto her massive bed, and laid down next to her tiny frame. She leaned back on her arms, her legs folded beneath her. It was a moment before she spoke.

"He lied to you." She spoke quietly. "He only left to protect you. He really loves you, Bella. He loves you enough to give you up."

My gut heaved at her words. "Alice, don't."

"I know you don't want to hear it." She ran her fingers through her perfectly organized hair. "I've seen this working out for you. I can't tell you _how_, but you should know that."

My heart fluttered at her meaning. "Does he.. Come back?" I asked, my voice small and hopeful.

"No." She replied, my heart hammering in protest. "I see you happy with someone else. I can't place _who_ yet though."

I laughed dryly. "There is no one else for me. He was my soul mate."

She touched my arm, before laying down next to me. "I won't say more about it, except that I don't think he was." My heart ached at her words, though I knew she meant no hurt feelings by it. "Sleep, Bella. You need to rest. I'll be here for you."


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2 was finished as well, so it got uploaded all at the same time. I can't promise that future chapters with be uploaded as quickly, but I will do my best. Once again reviews are welcome and appreciated. Also, I do not have a Beta, so any misspellings are all me. I also like to switch tense like woah. I apologize.**

I didn't remember falling asleep though I knew I slept well. My entire body ached, including my heart. I cracked my eyes open to find that Alice had been true to her word. She was still lying just where she was the night before.

"Good Morning!" She smiled brightly. "I know you're hungry. I was waiting for you to wake up so I could go downstairs and make you something." She reached out a tiny hand and peeled the covers back slightly.

I groaned and cleared my throat. "No, really. You don't have to do that." My throat sounded harsh and it ached.

She sat up and bounced off the bed. "Bella, come down in 15 minutes."

I gave up arguing and nodded as she shut the door behind her. "Thank you." I whispered, knowing she could hear me. I heard her tinkling laugh from downstairs.

I laid there for a few moments before I realized I had to get up to use the restroom. I padded to the door barefoot before I realized I could hear Esme and Carlisle talking outside on the terrace. I held my breath so I could hear them better.

"-should have gone with him." Esme argued quietly.

"Please, love. You know this was hard enough on the family. He decided to go, and Bella is like a daughter to you." Carlisle's sweet voice countered. My chest ached when I realized they were fighting about me.

"Edward was my son." She answered sternly. "Why is it you always make the major decisions?" She questioned.

"This again? Esme, please!" He sighed. "This wasn't simply my own decision. Surely you're aware of that. You've been angry at me for decades now, but you've yet to say anything to me about it."

"What are you talking about?" She asked accusingly.

He let out a short, humorless laugh. "You think that I wouldn't know how you felt? Living with a mind-reader and a psychic? They've told me before that they knew you were unhappy. Alice has told me numerous times that she saw you leaving. Yet you're making Bella to be the catalyst for your unhappiness. Take it out on me, Esme."

"Fine. I'm not happy, Carlisle." She stated simply. "I haven't been in a while."

There was a few moments of silence. "Okay, why? Tell me so we can work on it." He answered softly.

My heart thudded in my chest because I knew where this was going for poor Carlisle.

"You changed me and at first I was grateful. I had lost my baby, but gained eternity with this wonderful man. Then I realized, I would never have another child. Nor would I ever see my baby in the after life. How could you deny me ever seeing my baby again? Because you always have to make the decisions. It's always you, Carlisle. I love you, you're a wonderful man, but this was the last straw. I'm going to be with our son. If he still considers me his family, that is."

I let out the breath I had been holding, swaying on my feet. I had held my breath for far too long, and my vision darkened. "Ugh." I moaned as I closed my eyes and saw stars. I heard a rustle, and before I could hit the ground Carlisle opened the bedroom door and caught me. I stayed in his arms, braced against his hard chest completely motionless. My heart thudded wildly while my vision began to clear.

"Bella?" He soothed. "I'm sorry, that conversation was not for you to hear." I squeezed my eyes shut, blocking my view of his beautiful, concerned gaze.

I gasped on a sob that broke free. "All I do is make things hard for you." I reached forward and stroked his smooth face. "You are perfect Carlisle, and because of me you lost your son and your wife." Tears leaked from my eyes unchecked. I worked myself out of his stone grasp. I sat on the edge of the bed while he walked over and sat next to me.

"Dear girl, Esme has been wishing to leave for some time." He whispered while twisting his wedding ring around his finger. "Decades, actually. She and I have been together because we want the same things. That doesn't always amount to being happy in the end."

I shook my head furiously. "She is your soul mate."

He chuckled. "I love her. She is not my soul mate, though." I sat motionless for some time before he continued. "Edward is not your fault either. He's always done as he wished. He's left before, and he will be back." He assured me.

I winced at his words. I wanted to believe he meant while I was still alive, but I was sure he meant after I had gone. I raised my eyes back to Carlisle's to find he was staring off towards the door.

"She's gone." He whispered. He swallowed hard, and wrapped his long fingers around my hand. "This will be a dark time for you and I. It will get better, my dear, Bella. I assure you." He smiled a forced smile and I knew he was in pain. His concern for me, however, made him put on a brave face.

I got off the bed and stood in front of him before I leaned in and wrapped my arms around his cool neck. It was a moment before he returned the embrace. His arms wrapped gently around my waist and he pulled me to him. He sobbed tearlessly, and I cried with him. To love others who do not return the emotion is the worst kind of travesty.

I wound my fingers through his smooth, golden locks and we cried together. His face pressed into the hollow of my throat while his fingers wrapped around my waist. I clung to him just as desperately and I wished that things could just go back to normal.

It was some time before we stopped crying. His hand was rubbing small circles on my back. He pulled back slightly, his face mere inches from my own. He pressed a small kiss to my left cheek before pulling back altogether. "Thank you, Bella." He smiled sadly.

I stepped back from him, breaking off contact. "Carlisle, if I could prevent you from having this pain I would."

He gave a small smile. "I know." I nodded mutely before I left the room and headed downstairs. After a quick human moment, I came into the kitchen to find four vampires sitting around the kitchen table. They looked more sullen than yesterday. I noticed my breakfast being kept warm on the stove and grabbed it before going to sit with the rest of the family.

I ate my toast slowly, my hunger being the only driving force behind eating. My stomach clenched in protest before I gave up on eating more.

"I didn't see her decision." Alice spoke quietly. Everyone's eyes darted to her before looking away. "I was so concerned with what Edward was doing that I just.. .missed it."

Rosalie sighed. "If you look for too much you're bound to make mistakes. Besides, you've told us before that she had thought about leaving a bunch of times."

Alice shook her head quickly. "It doesn't matter. I could have warned him." She licked her lips and closed her eyes, no doubt trying to see if she missed more than Esme leaving.

I got up and dumped my plate in the trash before washing the dish and setting it on the rack. I turned to find everyone in the exact same position they were in before I got up. "We have to stay strong for him. We have to be here." I whispered.

Everyone at the table nodded except Alice who was still sitting with her eyes closed. Suddenly her golden eyes snapped open and turned to me. The surprise on her face made me wonder what she saw. I thought briefly that she may have seen Edward coming back, but even that wouldn't explain the amount of sheer astonishment on her face.

"What is it, Alice?" I questioned as my heart pounded loudly.

She forced her expression to be more neutral. "I am happy we stayed. I see everyone getting over this." Emmett let out a short, disbelieving chuckle. She turned to him and smiled. "No, really. Of course we'll miss Esme and Edward, but we will be fine."

Carlisle walked into the kitchen and leaned against the counter that I was leaning against. A small smile played on his lips.

Alice laughed. "We'll be fine." She repeated.

Alice waited to take me home until three. We had skipped school, for obvious reasons and we didn't want Charlie to think anything of it. I thanked her again as I got out of her car to which she replied that she loved me. I got in my house and breathed deeply. I was alone.

At the Cullen's it was easy to think that Edward was coming home. Perhaps subconsciously I was thinking that I was just spending time with his family until he did. That wasn't the case, however. I had to be strong for them. Carlisle lost so much, the least I could do was be good for them. I would keep my heartaches to myself, and be more independent. I'd do my best to be a helpful addition to their family instead of a burden.

I went into the kitchen and started rummaging through the cabinets and fridge for ingredients to make dinner for Charlie. I would tell him exactly what Carlisle said to say. I would do my best to prevent hard feelings between my Dad and the Cullen's.

A short while later I was pulling the Shepherd's Pie from the oven as Charlie was walking in through the front door. "Hey, Bells." He said as he slung his jacket, keys, belt, and everything else on the chair at the table.

"Hey." I grabbed everything he set down and went to put it where it belonged. Charlie cleared his throat at my obvious irritation. "Dinner's done." I said simply.

He sat down at the table and I set his dish in front of him before grabbing a plate of my own. "Careful, it just came out of the oven." I warned.

He nodded, blowing on the steaming potatoes. "How was your sleepover with Alice?" He asked.

I licked my lips. "It wasn't really a sleepover. Edward wasn't going camping." I said vaguely. When I realized Charlie's face was turning purple from anger I decided to continue. "It wasn't like that, Dad. He didn't stay… He's gone, actually."

Charlie's eyebrows rose in confusion. "I don't understand. Care to explain what you mean, please?"

I sighed. "Edward met me at his house to tell me he was leaving. He wants to find his birth parents in Chicago. I wanted to go with him, Dad." I cleared my throat of the tears building up. "He said it was immensely personal. If he finds them, he won't come back."

Charlie sat stock-still for a few moments. "Are you alright?" He questioned slowly.

"Yes." I lied. "I understand why he wants to do this. I just feel badly for Carlisle. He and Esme separated yesterday. Edward didn't know that when he decided to leave."

Charlie stopped shoveling food in his mouth for a moment. "He lost his wife and son in one day?" He asked, knowing exactly what that felt like. "It's not easy." He concluded simply.

I shook my head. "No, it's not. Edward left and then I was with the rest of the family for the night. It was hard for them. For me." I finished honestly. "Esme left this morning. The stress I guess. It was the last straw."

"Well, be there for little Alice." He said sternly. "She's so… happy. I wouldn't want this to change that. You both need each other right now. If they need anything, you tell Dr. Cullen I'll do my best to help." He stabbed his food as I nodded my agreement. "This kinda thing only happens to the good families. To good men." He finished, more to himself than to me.

The rest of the dinner went by in semi-uncomfortable silence. Charlie kept mumbling to himself about undeserving women, and I suddenly felt very bad for Carlisle. I knew Charlie was going to give him 'the talk' about how you can't trust untrustworthy women. I had heard it a million times before from my Dad talking to other men who got separated from their wives. It was clear my Dad was still bitter.

After I cleaned up the kitchen I took a long shower and paid extra attention to everything that I had neglected the past few days. I shaved everything that was stubbly, did a face mask, lathered myself in lotion and went to my room. It was only after I closed the door that I realized everything Edward gave me was gone. He obviously took it with him, or threw it out. The pictures, the cd he gave me. _It will be as if I never existed._

I shivered and held my stomach as I remembered the words he said. A sob broke free and I held myself together with my own hands. I'd learn to be strong. For the Cullen's sake.

The next week went by slowly and painfully. My nights were spent tossing and turning, longing for my strong, cool arms to comfort me. I would have horrible nightmares of me standing in front of him and Edward just fading away. This happened for 3 nights, before one night I woke to a pair of cool arms comforting me. Alice smoothed my hair from my face and mumbled about how strong I was. I don't remember.

I decided I needed to get a job, and with Forks comes very little choices. There was the Lodge, or Newton's Sporting Goods, or Forks General. I decided that I wanted to help people, and possibly get over my aversion to blood.

After school I drove to the hospital and parked next to Carlisle's pristine Mercedes. I smiled to myself as I walked in the door and over to the receptionist.

"Hello, I'm Bella Swan. I was wondering if I'd be able to put in an application?" I stammered nervously.

"The Chief's daughter! Oh, how wonderful!" She smiled happily. "Let me just go get the application, though I hardly think you'll be needing it!" She smirked playfully.

I shrugged while digging my hands into my hoodie pockets for my pen. After filling out the application I glanced over it, making sure everything was correct. I handed back the application and she smiled brightly.

"If you'll wait a moment, Dear, I'm sure he'll speak to you."

I nodded. "That would be great, actually." She wobbled off toward the main doors and I sat in the waiting area for someone to call my name.

"Ms. Swan?" The elderly receptionist called.

I stood quickly, almost loosing my footing. "He said to go right in. His office is down the corridor, the last door on the left."

"Thank you." I smiled, opening the door and walking down the perfectly polished floors of the hallway. I got to the door and took a deep breath, hoping I didn't mess this up.

I gave a tentative knock before the door was pulled open and amber eyes regarded me with amusement. How stupid was it that I didn't realize he'd be the one hiring me?

"Bella." His smooth voice enthused. "Please." He smirked as he stepped away from the door and gestured with his elegant hand for me to come in.

I stumbled past him and blushed furiously. I didn't know why this scenario never dawned on me.

I sat down in the chair opposite his desk while Carlisle opted to lean against the front of it with his hands placed in his lab coat.

"You want to work here?" He asked simply.

"I think it would be good for me Carlisle. I have to get out of the house. I want to help people. There has to be something that I can do." My eyes met his and the expression he wore made me blush. His proud, topaz gaze flicked away from me and he smiled a small smile. "There will be blood sometimes." He said, finally.

I nodded a curt nod. "I realize that. I can't promise that initially I'll be able to deal with it. Can you tell me with a straight face that I'd be the only one with an aversion to blood?" I asked pointedly. "Besides. I have my CPR Certificate. I could help."

He sat down in the chair opposite my own. "Bella, I'd love for you to come work with me." He hung his head slightly and rubbed his hands together, but said nothing else.

I reached out and placed my hand over his cool ones. "But?" I prodded gently.

His eyes rested on our hands for a moment before flitting over my face. He raised his eyebrows and smiled. "No, no 'buts'. I'd be genuinely pleased with it. It's just that…" He leaned away from me, removing his hands from under mine. "You'd be the first in the family to get a career in medicine like me." He smiled and looked away, and I knew that if he'd been human he would be blushing.

I laughed, unable to contain the giggles that erupted. "Really? That's what this is about? You're… having a 'Parent-of-the-honor-roll-student' moment?" I giggled again, blushing at my out burst. He smiled too, his features relaxing slightly. He stared at my face for a moment.

"It's wonderful seeing you laugh again." He mentioned casually. I winced slightly before nodding.

"You know, it felt pretty good too." I smiled, finding it easier to do.

"It wasn't 'Parent-of-the-honor-roll-student' moment, either. Its.. Its actually kind of hard to explain." He shrugged. "You've come to mean a lot to me, Bella. To us." He corrected.

I swallowed. "You have too." I blushed. "All of you."

His eyes held mine for a moment before he stood up. "Come tomorrow after school. Alice will have seen this, I'm sure. Stop by the house, she'll have scrubs and things for you. I'll also be there after 7 tonight and I'll show you some basics. Alright?"

I smiled brightly excited about really getting the job. I stood up and threw myself at him, squeaking slightly. "Thank you, Carlisle! Yes! Thank you!" He wrapped his arms around me gently, chuckling at my out burst.

"Anything, my dear Bella." His velvety voice soothed. I stepped back, nodding happily.

"See you later then. Thanks again." I blushed.

He smiled as I closed his office door behind me. I closed my eyes briefly, wondering what I had just gotten myself into.


	3. Chapter 3

I decided to do exactly as Carlisle said, and headed straight to their beautiful home. I pulled into their hidden driveway and was greeted by Alice hopping on the front porch. I smiled and got out of my truck, when I turned around she was already there. "Oh!" I exclaimed, startled.

"Sorry!" She practically chirped. "This is wonderful Bella! Oh, you have no idea!" She bounced on the heels of her feet and grabbed my wrist as she pulled me to the house. "I bought you everything! Scrubs in every color you could want, a stethoscope, a sphygmomanometer, a-"

"A what?" I interrupted, flabbergasted.

A sphygmomanometer. You know, for blood pressure?" She asked while she dragged me towards… Edwards room?

"You mean a cuff?" I asked distractedly while trying to put on the brakes. I wasn't ready to go into his room.

"Don't worry. His room is my room now. I figured it would make you uncomfortable to make that your room, so you can have mine. Oh, and yes. A cuff. The technical term is sphygmomanometer."

"Alice. I don't want your room. I don't want his room. I don't need a room in your house." I sputtered while she swung open his- her bedroom door.

She was not kidding when she said it was her room now. My jaw gaped while I walked in slowly. His gold carpet had been replaced with gorgeous light wood flooring. His white walls were replaced with a minty green. It didn't even look like his room anymore. I felt my throat constrict slightly.

"All of his stuff?" I managed.

"Oh, we put it in storage. We have lots of storage. Carlisle is a packrat and can't be rid of any of his antiques." She answered casually.

"It doesn't even look like his room." I whispered as my eyes raked over the massive wood sleigh bed in the center of the room.

"Well, it shouldn't. It's my room. Oh, and Jaspers, of course." She smiled guiltily. I snorted.

"Yeah this looks like Jaspers kind of room." I said sarcastically.

"Bella."

"Sorry."

"Come see your room!" She squeaked happily after grabbing a white bag off of her bed.

I was helpless to do anything but be dragged to my apparent room at the Cullen house. She stepped in front of me and rocked on the balls of her feet. "I know you'll just love it." She promised as she opened the door.

"Oh." I whispered in awe. It was absolutely perfect. Way too much, in notorious Alice fashion, but perfect none-the-less. It was painted an autumn orangey yellow, with mahogany furniture. The floors were done in a rich 3 tone wood pattern. The bed was a sleigh bed similar to Alice's own with piles of fluffy pillows all done in browns and oranges. It reminded me of everything I loved in Phoenix. It was then that my eyes raked over the work desk in the corner with all kinds of Cacti decorating it. I smiled thankfully. That was her point.

"Thank you, Alice."

"Oh, Bella! I told you!" She giggled while hugging me tight. She danced to my closet and opened it. It was stuffed with clothes and I sighed.

"Bella, it's easier than bringing things from Charlie's all the time." She argued.

"What's that?" I asked cautiously while eyeballing the huge white bag she had carried from Edwa- her room.

"Nursing things!" She exclaimed merrily while jumping on the bed and rummaging the bag.

"I'm not a nurse, I'll probably be cleaning bed pans." I tried to joke, which earned me a glare.

"Not yet, you aren't." She replied vaguely.

"This is your sphygmomanometer." She said, setting out a normal looking cuff. "And this is your stethoscope." She smiled happily while holding out a pink stethoscope to me.

I smiled while taking it from her out stretched arm. "Thank you, it's great." I mumbled embarrassed.

"We wanted to do this for you, Bella. There's nothing to feel guilty for." She tried to reason.

"The rest of this bag is just slip-proof shoes and scrubs." She smiled handing me a small jewelry box. "This will help you." She assured.

I took it from her hand reluctantly and opened the box. It was a white nurses watch, the kind that had the second hand in red and was in military time. I breathed. "You're perfect." I mumbled while I grabbed and hugged her stone frame.

She giggled again. "Carlisle is going to show you how to use it." She smirked slightly but quickly composed her features.

I nodded and placed the box on my new dresser. "He told me. He'll be out at 7."

Her eyes focused and unfocused. "Actually, he'll be home in 13 minutes. He got out early." She bounced and opened the door. "I'll tell him where you are." She smiled and winked before leaving.

I sighed to myself and walked slowly around the…my…room. It was gorgeous, of that I was certain. I opened the dresser drawer and let out an embarrassed huff at all the thongs, silky booty shorts and bra's that I encountered. My cheeks flamed red and I slammed the drawer shut. I opened the one below it and encountered the same deal, just with skimpy pajama sets. There were at least some silky pant sets that weren't that bad. What that hell was she thinking? I wasn't showing that to anyone, so what's the point? I shook my head and closed that drawer before moving on.

Every drawer was stuffed with clothes. Most of which were not my taste at all. I was in the middle of fluffing my pillows when there was a knock at my door.

"It's open." I greeted.

Carlisle smiled, his eyes flitted around my room causing him to smile further. "I like it." He said simply.

I shrugged slightly. "I could wear a different outfit everyday for a year."

He laughed lightly as he closed the door behind him. "Well, you know Alice." He smiled while picking up my stethoscope. "If you'd like I could show you some basics on how to use this." He glanced at me and his golden eyes absolutely twinkled.

"Yeah. Sure." I breathed. I walked over to where he was standing at the side of my huge bed and hoisted myself up. I patted the space next to me and he gave a small smile before sitting next to me on my gigantic bed.

I wiggled closer to him so that we were both sitting cross-legged facing each other with our knees touching. It was a little awkward, to say the least.

"This is going to be a little awkward." He remarked. I laughed loudly at him saying it as I was thinking it.

"You're telling me." I giggled.

He smirked. "I meant its going to be difficult because you're going to have to take your own blood pressure. I don't have a heartbeat." He reminded and I blushed.

"Oh, of course." I nodded, embarrassed.

"The good thing though, is I can hear your heartbeat without the stethoscope, so I can tell you when you should have noticed. You know?"

I nodded again while he placed the stethoscope in my ear and placed the sphygmomanometer around my left arm. "Each time the heart beats, the pressure in the arteries increases. Each time the heart relaxes between beats, the pressure goes down." He explained while he placed the stethoscope against my vein in the crease of my arm. Instantly I could hear my own heart beating steadily.

His cool hand braced the underside of my outstretched hand, causing my hand to land precariously in his lap. I instantly flamed red. I blushed hotter when I heard my heart rate pick up. He smirked slightly, and I knew he was aware of my fluttering heart too.

"Therefore, there are two measures of blood pressure: the highest blood pressure when the heart beats, called the "systolic" pressure; and the lowest pressure when the heart relaxes called the "diastolic" pressure." He went on in his velvety voice. I nodded and shifted closer to him.

" When we read a blood pressure, we say for example "120 over 80", giving the systolic number first and the diastolic number next. This means that when the heart beats, the pressure is 120 milligrams of Mercury, and when the heart relaxes, the pressure is 80 milligrams of Mercury. To take your pressure or anyone else's, rapidly squeeze the bulb until the pointer in the gauge is about 30 milligrams of Mercury above your systolic pressure. If you do not know your systolic pressure, try 180. The cuff should feel tight and your arm may feel cramped." He explained while squeezing the pump until my arm did, indeed, feel cramped.

"It sure does." I said miserably. He laughed.

"Now, you trigger the air release valve." He explained while pointing to a little knob. "Do it slowly, so its releasing at 2 to 4 milligrams of Mercury per second."

I twisted the valve slightly and watched to gauge on the cuff.

"You should hear nothing." I nodded, letting him know he was right. "If you were to hear something you would have to pump higher until you didn't. Now, you hear that thumping?"

I nodded again as I heard my heart beat racing. "That's your systolic pressure. See where the pointer is on the gauge?"

"Yeah, 122?" I asked to be sure. He smiled and nodded. "Yes. Now the heartbeat stopped. What was the gauge at when it stopped?" He questioned.

"83?" I asked, unsure. He laughed lightly.

"Yes, it was. Now you can dump the air quickly by twisting it again."

I did it and the cuff went slack. I moaned happily at my released crampy arm.

"So 122 over 83? That's good?"

He smiled. "Bella, it's perfect."

I blushed again and noticed my heartbeat pick up. I groaned and pulled off my stethoscope and cuff. "I'll practice more later." I promised.

"You'll be fine. I just wanted to show you a little bit before you get there tomorrow. I'll have you practice on some patients with me."

"Thank you again, Carlisle." I turned ten shades of red when I noticed my hand was still laying on his lap and his hand was still holding it there.

He jumped slightly when he realized it too and got off the bed in the blink of an eye. I ducked my head and got off the bed with him.

"How…" He started. "Bella, how have you been?" He asked vaguely though I knew exactly what he was talking about. The familiar ache in my chest throbbed slightly.

"I miss him." I replied, honestly. "It feels like a hole has been punched through my chest when I think about him. I don't know what I would have done if all of you would have gone with him." I had no idea why my mouth was moving. Carlisle had a way of getting the whole truth out from me without even trying. "What about you?" I asked him in the same vague manner he asked me.

"Honestly, everything you just said is exactly the same for me." He smiled sadly. "I often wonder if she thinks of me. Thinks of the rest of us."

I narrowed my eyes at him slightly. "I hope they do. We're going to be happy, Carlisle. I just… know it."

He chuckled. "Oh no, another Alice, then?" He joked playfully.

I grimaced. "No, nothing special about me. I promise."

"Then it's a promise already broken." He mumbled. I tilted my head at him and he raised an eyebrow. "Alice is making you dinner downstairs." His nose wrinkled slightly. "Chicken, it smells like."

I giggled. "You can really smell chicken cooking all the way downstairs and through a closed door?" I asked in awe.

He smiled a huge, proud smile. "She only opened the wrapper. She hasn't cooked it yet."

My jaw gaped. "Oh. Well, I'd better go downstairs and help her."

He laughed again. "She said she doesn't need your help."

"Ugh! Vampires!" I groaned walking past him. "Thank you for helping me out."

His eyes glittered. "Anything, Bella."

A/N: I am definitely not a Doctor, or a Nurse. Hell, I don't even work in a Hospital. So, any and all medical references will be made from site that I find online. The blood pressure one was found at the site below, just replace the (dot)'s.

Once again, comments are welcome.

www(dot)steeles(dot)com/catalog/blood pressure(dot)html


	4. Chapter 4

**AN: THANK YOU ALL FOR YOUR KIND WORDS! For everyone that's put this story on alert and added it to their favorites, thank you, too. Also, the pace has been going somewhat fast with these two. It's like they can't help it. Haha Once again reviews are welcome. Also, these chapters have been writing themselves. I hope that will always be the case, but I can't promise my updates with be everyday. **

Alice made me an absolutely perfect chicken alfredo which I ate most of. I grabbed an emerald green scrub set with black non-slip shoes, my stethoscope and cuff and threw them in my back pack so I could change into them after school the next day.

I was actually anxious to get home and tell my Dad about my new job. I knew it would make him happy, and I also knew I had been far less than pleasing the past week. I got home just after 7 and fed Charlie the leftover alfredo that Alice had made me.

"I got a job today." I said, gloating just a bit.

He slurped on his alfredo. "Really? Where?" He asked with his mouth full.

I made a face at him to which he shrugged. "At the hospital. I'm going to be a Nurse's Aid I suppose."

"At the hospital?" He questioned slowly. "Bella, there's going to be blood there."

I laughed. "So Carlisle told me."

"Oh, Dr. Cullen got you the job, then?" He asked. His face contorting just a bit.

"Yeah, he's actually going to train me tomorrow, too. I have to go right after school." I grabbed his now empty plate and started washing it. "I just… I think I'd like to help people, Dad."

I placed his dish in the drying rack and turned to face him. "Bells, I think it's a great idea. Hell, give it a try, then. You tell Edward's Dad to watch out for you, though."

I winced at his words. "Carlisle will take care of me." I corrected him.

His eyes lit up. "Oh! I almost forgot to tell you. Billy's coming over tomorrow night. We're going to watch the game. He's bringing Jacob over. The boys been asking about you." He said some-what suggestively.

"Dad… just… no." I couldn't even think of the words to begin my protest.

"I'm not saying you have to marry him, but he's a good kid." He shrugged. "A little young, sure, but he takes good care of his old man. That's important you know?"

I nodded begrudgingly. "Yeah I know. I just… don't know what time Carlisle wants me till tomorrow."

"That's fine. It'll be a Friday night anyway, so you guys can hang out till 11 or 12." He reasoned. I was doomed if my Dad was going to find prospective boyfriends for me already.

"Okay, well I have a ton of homework to do, so I'll see you tomorrow night." I waved as I made my way upstairs. "Night, Dad."

"Night, Bells." He called.

That night I had strange dreams which resulted in me crying through most of the night. This time it was less Edward leaving and more a dream that all of them left. It made my heart ache so much that I could barely stand to think of it.

School the next day was tough. I supposed I was looking healthier because Alice had been making sure I was eating right. Mike Newton took that as a personal cue that I was over everything and had already invited me to two movies. Both of which I declined.

Finally the day was over, and I ran to the ladies room to change into my scrubs and shoes to head to the hospital. I was incredibly nervous and I knew I had no real reason to be. I pulled my hair into a low pony tail, my curls twisting into one giant curl.

I got to the hospital a little after 3, and was greeted by Carlisle waiting for me at the reception desk.

His eyes lit with pride when he saw me and he smiled. "I absolutely love it." He said seriously. "Bella, this is for you." He said as he held out his hand. I took the little white card from his hand. "It's a key card. You need it to get to certain areas of the hospital. You just swipe it through the box and the doors will open for you." He explained as I swept my card and opened the doors to the trauma center. He showed me around for a bit, explaining that it was slow today.

I laughed. "It's Forks. How much busier can it get?"

He smirked slightly. "Well, not much because the one that injures herself the most is already here." He said suggestively while glancing at me.

"Hey!" I protested. "I haven't been here in a long time."

He laughed. "Yes, I suppose you're right." His eyes darted to the emergency doors. "I have to go, Bella. If you don't mind collecting the dirty sheets like I showed you.." He began.

I nodded. "Yes of course, no problem."

"I'll find you later." He promised before he dashed through the doors.

I took care of all the beds just like he had explained to me. When I got to the last bed I realized it was still occupied by an elderly lady. "Oh, I'm sorry." I mumbled, somewhat embarrassed.

"No problem, Dear." She smiled uneasily. "Would you be a sweet heart and help me for a moment?" She asked quietly.

I opened my mouth to say yes but was unsure if I should get a nurse.

"I'm just cold, is all." She explained.

"Oh! Of course!" I moved quickly to the cabinet to remove two clean white cotton blankets and spread them over her lap.

"How's that?" I asked.

"Wonderful, thank you." She smiled slightly. "It's hard to get old. One can hardly do anything for themselves. My dear Arthur passed away last month and I can't do anything without him." She mumbled sadly. I sat uneasily down in the chair next to her bed.

"What happened?" I asked in reference to her visit today.

Her wrinkled face looked confused for a minute before she remembered. "I fell down. Again." She looked away as if she was embarrassed. "Arthur always took care of me, for 53 years we were married. Everything went down the drain for me when he passed. It was as if my body knew he was gone and decided to give up too." My heart clenched at her words. She had found her other half and lost him, and even her body knew it.

"I'm sorry. It must be so difficult for you. I honestly can't imagine losing your soul mate like that." It was then that it clicked. Edward wasn't my soul mate. My heart ached at his loss, but it would ache for anyone that I loved and lost. I was still strong, my heart still reached out to others. I wasn't stupid, I knew that this old lady was not simply hurting because of Arthur, but it was hard to ignore how quickly she deteriorated without him.

"If you find someone that you love like that, you have to make sure to grab it with both hands." She explained. "I almost didn't marry Arthur at all. Actually, I was engaged to his brother, first." She whispered shyly. I smiled at that.

"His brother?" I asked surprised. "Didn't that cause hard feelings when you realized you loved Arthur?"

She nodded and slapped the bed with her withered hand. "You have no idea, my dear. I almost threw in the towel. This was a long time ago. 53 years ago, actually." She told me again. I didn't tell her she already explained it to me. "His brother and I were too intense. It was arranged and I thought he was a protector. I knew I'd never need a thing with Larry. Then I met Arthur and we just clicked. He was kinder where Larry was more controlling, he was more mature and family oriented where Larry tended to be a loner." She paused. "My point is, dear when you find someone who makes your heart pound with happiness, or even wither with sorrow at the thought of them not being in your life… you grab them. You tell that person you love them. Hold on to the love of your life. Arthur and I were married for 53 years, and you can't imagine the heartache we caused our families. I wouldn't trade my love for him for anything in the world." She smiled dreamily.

My heart was hammering in my chest at her words. "I promise, I will." I nodded numbly before standing up to leave. Just as I turned I heard her heart monitor went flat line. "Oh God!" I panicked. Before I had time to truly freak out, Carlisle breezed past me and held her wrist for a moment before looking at the Nurse. "Mrs. Beatty had a DNR, correct?" He questioned.

The nurse glanced over her chart. "Yes, it seems she does."

My heart hammered and my vision darkened. I walked numbly out of her room and fell back into a chair in the nurses station. There was some movement I could see from the corner of my eye but I didn't dare look. I felt cool fingers wrap around my wrists and pull me. I walked numbly while my tears blinded me of where I was walking to. Carlisle sat me down in a chair in his office and crouched in front of me.

"Bella? Sweetheart? It was just her time. She was a sick lady." His velvet voice soothed.

I sobbed loudly before burying my face in my hands. "Carlisle, it's like she knew what to say to me. What I needed to hear." He wrapped his arms around me and I pressed my face into his neck and cried for poor Mrs. Beatty. My fingers gripped his shirt tighter to me, and he got the idea and held me a little tighter.

Carlisle sighed. "I didn't want you to have to deal with something like this on your first day here." He explained.

I pulled back slightly, my face mere inches from his. "You don't understand. I'm so glad I met her. I was talking to her about soul mates…" I whispered to him.

His eyes darted to my lips before he pulled away from me further. "I heard your conversation. I… understand why you feel it was fate that you two met. I just feel badly she passed away in front of you."

I shook my head. "I'll be alright. I was just… surprised." He smiled and reached out to wipe the tears from my face. "Did she have children?" I asked curious.

He shook his head. "According to her chart she had Ovarian cancer when she was young. She had a hysterectomy and could not have children."

I huffed. "She finds her soul mate and fate decides she can't have children in exchange."

He frowned slightly. "Do you believe fate to be so cruel?" He asked, doubtfully.

"Fate has not proven anything to me but cruelty." I argued back. "If you found yourself in her shoes, where your relationship with her would doom all your other relationships… like your own families… would you still pursue it?" I asked.

His eyebrows rose. "You mean if I found someone that my family did not approve of, and she was indeed my soul mate, my beloved… would I be able to give up my family for her?"

I nodded as his eyes sparkled. "There is no doubt in my mind. If my own family could not be happy for me, then I could do without. Though I would wish to God that I could have both." He smiled slightly. "I can't be sure what I would do until I am in the situation, I suppose."

I licked my lips. "You're right." He wrapped his elegant fingers around mine and squeezed. I smiled slightly and leaned my forehead against his. "Thank you again, Carlisle. You're a lifesaver of mine." I whispered.

His mouth quirked and his honey eyes closed. "As are you, my Bella." His cool breath ghosted against my face and I sighed. He swallowed before leaning away. "I'm finished for tonight. Would you like to come by the house? Emmett bought the Wii to play bowling with you." We shared a laugh at the thought of it.

Then I remembered. "I can't tonight. My Dad made plans with Billy and I'm being forced to hang out with his son Jake." I smiled sarcastically.

His jaw opened and closed. "Well, you'll be missed at the house." He stood and held his arm out to me. "Allow me to see you to your truck, then?" He asked playfully.

I smiled and placed my hand in to crook of his arm. "I'd be delighted, thank you."

We caught the death glare from a few nurses on the way out. They couldn't understand the relationship I had with Carlisle, and I could care less what they thought.

We got to the parking lot and he slowed his pace. "What would you do, if you were in her shoes? Would you have been able to get over the wrath of the brother for the sake of your soul mate?" He questioned.

I turned to look at his neutral expression. "If I found someone like that, I wouldn't hesitate." I answered truthfully.

He smiled. "You're strong, Bella. A lot stronger than most."

I laughed humorlessly. "Oh, yes. I showed you that by having a break down on my first day." I said sarcastically.

He reached under his arm and held my hand. "Bella, please." His warm, golden eyes held mine and my heart fluttered.

He cleared his throat before stepping away from me. "Take tomorrow off, enjoy your day. If you'd like to come by the house anytime this weekend, we'd love you to."

I blushed. "I'll probably come by tomorrow, then."

"Till tomorrow." He smiled before opening my truck door for me. I blushed hotter at his chivalrous ways. I climbed in and he shut the door gently. I waved before starting my truck and backing out. If I didn't know myself better, I'd think I had a crush on Dr. Carlisle Cullen.

**Comments/Reviews make Bellisle Lemonade. 3**


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: Thank you all so much for your kind review and comments. It adds fuel to the Bellisle fire, I promise you. To everyone that's added me to their alerts and favorites you make me blush harder than Bella does. This chappie contains underaged drinking, adult themes and shirtless Jacob. If any of those things make you squeamish I suggest you skip this chapter. No, actually I don't. **

I pulled into my driveway around 8:30 and sighed when I heard all the yelling going on in the house. Apparently, the Cougars were losing.

I hurried to the door because just as I was getting out of my truck it started to down pour. I groaned as I walked into the house. I shrugged off my damp hoodie and shook it out slightly before hanging it in the hallway. I decided that since I had snuck in unnoticed I would take a shower first so I could relax a bit.

I grabbed some clothes and took a quick shower while mulling over my latest discovery. Carlisle.

And my major crush on him. Ugh. I was such a teenage girl.

My relationship with him had always been different than it was with the rest of the Cullen's. I always chalked it up to him having zero desire for my blood. I knew now that wasn't entirely it. Perhaps I had always had a crush on him. His devastatingly glorious good looks aside, he was an incredible man. The things he had seen with those beautiful eyes of his made my head spin. One day I would have to grill him about his past.

I got out of the shower and wiped the glass clean of the fog and groaned at my reflection. Carlisle could never, ever know about my crush. It would be wholly embarrassing and an utter waste of time. He obviously thought of me as his daughter and I held some kind of torch for him. A little over a week after Edward left, no doubt. I sighed at my plain refection in the mirror and decided. After he lost Esme, the most beautiful, caring woman in the world, there was absolutely no way he would ever cast an interested glance my way. I would do nothing to create unease between us. I had to be sure my stupid, uncontrollable hormones were kept in check.

I dressed quickly and toweled off my hair before running downstairs and into Jake. "Crap!" I wailed when my body bounced off his massive form. I stumbled back and almost fell on my ass when he reached out his huge, warm, hand and caught me.

"Easy!" He laughed. "I didn't see you there." He remarked casually. I craned my neck to look at him.

"It's okay, I was in… kind of a… hurry?" I got distracted by the sheer size and height of the boy… man? In front of me. "Wow. Jake. You're…."

"…Just filling out, Bella." He smirked. "If we hung out more it wouldn't seem so drastic."

I nodded. "Yeah, I guess you're right. You're not watching the game?"

"Nah, I was actually going to sit on the porch. It's warm in the house." He explained. I honestly thought it was chilly but then I wasn't a behemoth either.

"Let me grab my jacket, I'll sit with you."

He smiled and made his way outside, ducking under the door frame on the way out. I walked into the living room to let Charlie know I was home.

"Hey." I practically shouted.

My Dad jumped and smiled. "Hey! How was your first day?" He asked.

I grunted. "Alright, I guess. An old lasy passed away on my shift. It was really hard." I replied with the simplest answer I could muster.

He frowned. "Well, Bella it's a hospital. I know it's hard but that's just what happens." He explained in true Charlie the Chief fashion.

"I heard you got hired by that Cullen." Billy remarked. I narrowed my eyes at him and noticed my Dad did the same.

"Yeah. Dr. Cullen hired me and trained me."

He acted as if I didn't speak. "Charlie, it's not good for her to-"

"-Don't!" My Dad interrupted. They exchanged knowing glances for a moment and I backed out of the room.

"Jake's warm so I'm going to sit outside with him for a bit." I said slowly. I grabbed my warm winter coat and went to sit outside. Jake was sitting on the porch railing, half in the rain, half not. I opted for the small bench we had up against the house that was completely out of the rain.

"So, How have you been? I heard that kid you were seeing went to find his parents." Jake said casually. My gut heaved, but luckily it kept getting less and less.

"Yeah. It's hard, you know?" I answered vaguely.

"Sure, sure." He responded. We sat in companionable silence for a few moments before he spoke.

"We're going to have a bonfire up at the Res. You should come up tomorrow night." He said casually. I was suspicious of his sudden motives for hanging out with me, but I nodded.

"I don't know what I'll be doing yet, but it sounds like fun." I chewed my lip for a moment and thought of Carlisle's invitation to the house. I still wanted to go by but I was thinking I probably just needed to spend some time with someone other than Carlisle. My feelings could possibly stem from him being the only male I spend time with.

"Well, either way." He scratched his chest. "Sam managed to get some things like a keg and other stuff. I've never drank before." He smirked conspiratorially.

I shrugged. "You know what? Count me in." What the hell. I was 18 and hadn't done any of the things that most kids my age had done. I generally wasn't one to care about that kind of stuff, but for some reason I felt denied the chance to even try. I couldn't even imagine the look on Edward's face if I would have told him I was going to a kegger. He would have blown a fuse.

"Awesome. That's intense." He laughed. "We can get drunk and go swimming."

I laughed. "No, Jake. Definitely not. It's November." I smiled at the noncommittal shrug he gave.

We talked some more about his Volkswagen that he was working on, and some other trivial stuff before the game was declared a bust and Billy decided to head home.

"I'll be by tomorrow, Jake." I promised.

"Sounds good." He smiled and helped his Dad in their truck before heading home.

I ran up my bedroom stairs and decided that I should call Alice and try to talk her into letting me go. It rang twice before Carlisle picked up.

"Bella? Is everything alright? It's late." He said in one big whoosh.

I bit my lip to keep from smiling. "Of course, Carlisle. It's perfect. I was actually calling for Alice, I wanted to know what she was doing tomorrow."

"Oh. Well, I didn't realize it when I talked to you today, but the couples went hunting. They won't be back for a few days."

"Why did you stay behind?" I asked quietly.

He laughed, and the warm sound made me wish I was in his presence. "I have to work tomorrow, Bella." He explained. "I'll be home after nine tomorrow night though, if you'd like to stop by." He encouraged.

"I'll try. My friend Jake asked me to hang out."

There was a long silence before he spoke. "So tonight went well then, did it?" He asked lightly.

"Sure. He's a good kid." I answered honestly enough.

"Well, have a good time then tomorrow. With your friend." He remarked which made me scowl a bit.

"I will. Good night, Carlisle."

"Same to you, Bella."

I woke up in the middle of the night to really awkward dreams. They all involved Carlisle in situations that I've only _ever_ dreamed about. I woke up to the apex of my thighs throbbing and my entire body sweating. I was so annoyed with myself that I literally cried. What if something like this happened while I was staying at the Cullen's? They would hear everything. Oh, God! I flushed with embarrassment. What if I was saying his name? Lord knows I talk in my sleep. I would be horrified.

Because of my fitful sleep I woke the next morning at almost 11. I was supremely surprised because that was not like me lately at all.

I got up, did some laundry, homework, ate lunch, cleaned the house, took a shower, and read some Romeo and Juliet. I was sorely disappointed to see it was only 3 when I decided to take a drive to the Res early. Despite the time, I pulled up to the guys hanging lanterns and piling crazy amounts of wood for the bonfire. I scanned the tanned, shirtless men for Jacob.

"Bella!" He called behind me. "You're really early." He smiled as he pulled me into a massive bear hug.

I groaned at the oxygen being squeezed out. "Yeah." I squeaked as he let me go. "I was all done with my chores and I figured what the hell."

He laughed. "You want to give us a hand setting up then?"

I shrugged. "I don't know how much help I'll be, but you bet."

I was extremely pleased to discover that Jake and I really got along. He was like my big brother…that I never had. He would giggle to himself while I struggled to carry wood or hang lanterns, but he never let me struggle for long. He'd always help me before I fell on my ass.

While setting up, we each did a shot of something horrid and clear. It tasted like the bug spray I'd accidentally gotten in my mouth earlier, and it burned my sinuses and throat. It was so awful that I decided I needed another one to get over the first.

"What is this crap?" I moaned.

Jake laughed. "It's homemade moonshine. Not exactly legal. I've been mixing yours with Sprite."

I choked. "There's soda in here?" I asked in disbelief.

He smirked. "A little, pale face." He pointed to the bottom edge of the shot glass. "It was to here Sprite, then the rest of the way moonshine."

I nodded and noticed I already felt woozy. It was pretty good. Sam came over and gave me a beer from the keg, which also tasted awful. Jake told me that another shot would make it taste better, and to my extreme disbelief he was exactly right. We ate some burgers and hot dogs that Sam had been cooking on the grill before they set to lighting the bonfire. Everyone was sitting around it and drinking. The boys from the tribe on the other side drinking straight from the moonlight bottle itself.

"Hey, you know Jakey I feel warm like you always do." I felt my face, then his. "Okay, almost as warm as you always do." I giggled, shifting away from the bonfire.

He laughed. "Right, Bella. You don't realize, but I'm normal temperature. You're just cold all the time." He argued.

"Let's go swimming then." I stood up and staggered sideways. "Oh shit! I spilled some of my beer!"

He laughed loudly. "Oh God. This is great." He took another shot on moonshine straight from the bottle. "The fire is too friggin hot." He complained.

I nodded slowly noticing that Quil was walking over to us. "Hey." He greeted and looked at Jake and I with the 'parent' look.

I eyeballed his cup dubiously. "What are you drinking?" I asked.

He squinted at me and looked at his cup. "It's just soda, I don't drink." He responded.

"Oh. Well. I don't drunk either." I slurred. "C'mon Jake let's swim! I'm hot!" I pulled my shirt over my head and was thankful for my white camisole. "Is this why you're hot all the time? You drink moonlight?" I asked while I staggered towards the beach. The bonfire had been set up close enough to the beach that I could see it, but far enough away that it was no longer in the light of the bonfire. It was really dark outside.

He laughed loudly as we walked towards the beach by ourselves. "Moonshine, not moonlight."

I eyeballed the sky. "There's no moon right now, actually. It's a blue moon." I giggled.

He choked on a giggle again. "No, it's a new moon."

I shrugged while pulling off my jeans. I noticed his eyes widen at my underwear. I mean for God's sake its just blue boy shorts. "It's just my undies, Jake." I laughed.

He pulled his shirt over his head and my jaw hit the floor. "Wow, you know… You're sort of sexy."

He lunged for me and scooped me up over his shoulder. "Jake!" I cried, realizing we were running towards the water. My up-side-down view of his ass the only thing I could see. "Wait! No!"

It was too late, he had already thrown me into the freezing water, my entire body tensed at the extreme temperature change. "Shit!" I yelled, sobered a little so I could glare at him. I could hardly see him at all.

He laughed as he floated around my shivering form. "It's not that bad." He shrugged. I staggered out of the water and sat unceremoniously on my pants. He got out of the water and pulled the little bottle of moonlight from his pants pocket and handed it to me. I stared at it for a minute before I decided what the hell.

I snatched the bottle up and swigged, the unbelievable burn making me gag. My entire body flamed from the inside, out. I was reminded of when James bit me.

"Can I tell you a secret, Jake?" I asked in a loud whisper as I passed the bottle back to him.

"Of course." He encouraged before he wrapped his lips around the bottle and took another swig.

"I have a crush on Dr. Cullen." I said in a giggle before I slapped my palm to my mouth.

He laughed heartily. "You and every other broad in Forks." He laughed again. It almost made me feel better that I wasn't alone. Almost.

After going swimming again, Jake drank a bit more than he should have and passed out on the beach. I covered him with my hoodie and decided I should probably get home.

Everyone was passed out around the bonfire as I passed by to get to my truck. I giggled to myself as I got in the cab, the leather seats making my legs cold. I slapped my face a few times before driving precariously on both sides of the road. The moment I passed the border of La Push into town I saw a familiar frame standing in the middle of the street. "Carlisle!" I slurred. I slammed my brakes just in time for him to not dent the front end of my truck. "What are you doing here? It's so late." I explained.

His face was deathly serious. "I know it, Bella. Please move to the passenger seat. I'm going to take you to the house." He said slowly. I wiggled drunkenly to the passenger side of the truck while he climbed into the drivers seat.

"Are you mad?" I asked.

His usual amber gaze was almost black. "Of course I am!" He yelled which caused me to flinch. "If you wanted to come here, I wouldn't even have cared! Damn it, Bella, don't drive like this!" He said as he gestured towards me.

I watched his strong jaw tense while his dark eyes darted to me then the road. His golden hair was disheveled from the run he no doubt took to get to me. My eyes raked down his form sitting in my truck and I shifted slightly. He was wearing a blue button down shirt with black pants and it was tailored to him just so that you could see the definition of his utterly perfect frame. I blushed. "You are really sexy when you're mad." I laughed as his eyes widened.

His jaw gaped and he glared at me. "Why now? Why do this now?" He asked vaguely.

"Please. You know you're sexy. Every woman with a pulse that has eyes knows-"

"-I don't mean that!" He interrupted. "I meant why act out now? You were doing so well." His face relaxed a bit and I could see the golden tones returning to his eyes. It matched his hair exquisitely.

I managed a huff at him. "This has nothing to do with Edward." I argued.

This time he huffed. "No?" His eyebrow rose slightly.

"Well, I mean… he'd obviously never let me get drunk. So, that fact played a small part when I decided I wanted to. This isn't acting out like you say though. This is me, being a normal teenager." I crossed my arms over my chest. "I don't know where my pants are." I looked around the cab briefly before I remembered that I had covered Jake with them and my shirt. I flushed as I realized I was sitting in the truck in my underwear and a white camisole that did nothing to cover me. "Apparently I lost my shirt too." I sighed. I chanced a look at Carlisle. His eyes flicked to my lap then settled on my face. The 'parent-of-an-honor-roll-student' look was definitely missing. "I absolutely hate disappointing you." I mumbled.

He swallowed as he pulled into his driveway and shut off the roaring truck. "Bella, I'm not disappointed with you." He blinked and frowned. "I am upset that you drank so much and drove yourself home. Well, tried to, anyway." He smiled slightly and opened his door. In a flash he was at my side opening mine too.

"Alice called me and told me to pick you up. Never bet against Alice." He smiled.

I rose out of the cab and swayed slightly. He reached his cool hands out to steady me. "Next time I'll have someone drop me off." I promised.

"What the hell were you drinking tonight? You smell like pure rubbing alcohol." He remarked. I flushed.

"Uhh." I tapped my bottom lip with my finger. "Moonlight!" I remembered happily.

His eyebrows rose. "Moonshine?" He smiled. "Well that explains a lot. Let's get you inside. It's cold." I went to walked along beside him but my feet got tangled together and I staggered forward.

Just as I thought I was going to eat dirt he braced my fall with his body, and before my drunken mind could register my entire body was flush against his. Even in my state I could feel the energy pass between us. My body set on fire against his cool frame. I braced my hands against his marble chest, letting my fingers do a little walking. I felt his cool hands at the small of my back, his pinkies rested on the top of my boy shorts. We stood like that for a moment before he pulled away. "I think I'll just…" He spoke quickly before scooping me up.

"Hey!" I squeaked. There was a rush of air and I was being sat down on their white sofa. Again.

I blinked from the dizziness. "Ugh." I moaned.

He crouched down in front of me and I could see the concern on his face. "I'm going to get you some water." He said, then he was gone. I heard the faucet run for a moment before he was in front of me again.

"I want you to try to drink all of this. It will help." He encouraged as he crouched in front of me again. I guzzled the glass greedily, some of the water sloshing down my chin. I finished the glass and passed it to him. He set it on the floor next to him.

My eyes raked down his form. I was sitting on the couch in my underwear with the sexiest man on Earth between my thighs on the floor in front of me. I flushed with heat and felt that familiar tingle. Being drunk did all sorts of crazy things.

I saw his nostrils flare slightly and he swallowed. His eyes literally darkened when they rested on my damp chest. "Carlisle." I practically moaned while I rubbed my thighs together.

I seemed to have snapped him out of it because he stood quickly. "Right. Alice bought you clothes, didn't she?" He asked as his gaze took in everything but me.

"Uh, yeah. She did." I mumbled. I was so embarrassed of myself right now.

"Would you like me to bring you to your room?" He asked politely.

I shook my head and wobbled to my feet. "I'm fine. Thank you, Carlisle." I walked slowly to the stairs and took my time. I wanted to try and prove I wasn't as bad off as I actually was. I made it to the bathroom where I took a quick shower. I wrapped myself in my bathrobe before going to my room. I threw on whatever I could grab out of my pajama drawer and threw myself on my bed. The bed was spinning. Every time I closed my eyes bed spun faster and faster. I threw my leg off the bed to anchor it to the floor. Finally, sleep claimed me.

**Comments make me rub my thighs together. ;]**


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: Once again to everyone that reviews, adds me to their alerts or favorites, this is literally for you. I don't usually like to give out too much, but there were a few of you who were wondering if Jake was going to be a love interest. I gag at the thought, so no. DEFINITELY not. **

**Also, I beta myself. So, any and all mistakes that glare at you are my fault. **

I awoke the next day to the sun shining in my face. My eyes opened slowly to see the anomaly. I was in my room at the Cullen house. That was weird.

I sat up slowly and looked around my room for clues. There was nothing.

I wracked my brain trying to remember. Oh no. My heart rate sped quickly. "I was drunk in front of Carlisle." I whispered to myself.

I heard a giggle at the doorway. "You sure were." Alice chirped. She walked over to me and handed me a cup of green tea. "This will help." She smiled.

I mumbled my thanks and drank deeply. I was incredibly thirsty. "I thought you were going hunting for a few days?" I asked quietly.

She nodded. "You know, it was the damndest thing. We all managed to find something quickly, so I made it back in one night." She smiled slowly. "I'm glad you decided to wear the clothes I bought you." She remarked.

I glanced down to see that I was wearing a thin white silk chemise. I blushed. "I threw on whatever." I giggled. "Is…" I began.

"We are all home. The sun's out." She finished suggestively. "He's in his study."

"Okay." I set the mug down on my dresser and got out of bed. "I have to take a shower, but I'm going to speak with him after."

She smiled happily. "Sounds good." She danced out of my room and closed the door behind her. I could not leave my room wearing this, so I grabbed my bathrobe and threw it on. I fished out a pair of skinny jeans that weren't so bad, and found a red short sleeve shirt that looked like a tube top with a red shrug over it. I liked it a lot. There were also a few pairs of underwear and bras that weren't that bad either. I grabbed some and went to the bathroom.

After a human moment and a shower, I changed quickly. I brushed my teeth thoroughly and took a deep breath to calm my nerves. I twisted my damp hair up and off my neck, using a black clip to keep it that way. It was no use, there were already curls getting unruly. I sighed.

After giving up I made my way to Carlisle's study. Before I could knock I heard him say, "It's open."

I blushed and walked in the find him sitting outside on his deck reading a book. I was momentarily distracted because I had never seen Carlisle in the sun, and he was absolutely gorgeous. "What can I do for you, Bella?" He asked as he set his huge novel aside. I walked out on the deck and sat in the sun with him.

I was stunned by how gorgeous he was. He was wearing a white, short sleeve tee-shirt and dark wash jeans. I'd never seen him so… relaxed. He looked even younger than his physical body was. He smiled looking down at himself. "I usually dress older… it helps people see my supposed age instead of my actual one." He shrugged.

I licked my lips and blushed. "Yes, I was just thinking how young you look. You could pass for my age, I think." I smiled slightly. "I've never seen you in the sun before, either." He laughed.

"We all look the same in the sun." He commented as he stretched his legs out in front of him.

I shook my head. "That's not really true." I mumbled in awe of him and blushed furiously.

He glanced away from me with a small smile on his lips. "Are you feeling better, then?" He asked.

I blushed harder. "Yes. That's actually why I'm here…" I began. I shifted my chair closer to his in an attempt to make our conversation private. I knew it was no use.

He sat up from his relaxed position and leaned towards me and rested his elbows on his knees.

"I… I'm sorry I made you worry." I rushed. "Next time… if there is a next time, I will have someone drop me off. Or pick me up. I don't know what I was thinking when I drove off like that." I flushed.

"Don't worry about it. At least you're alright." He reached out and his touch wasn't quite as cool as usual. He must have been outside for a while.

He looked at me intensely for a moment before looking away. "Why…" He began, but stopped himself.

I gripped his hand a little tighter. "What?" I encouraged. If he were human I'd swear he'd be blushing.

"Why were you… without your attire?" He asked quickly before looking away from me.

I blushed furiously. "Oh. It wasn't… we went swimming." I explained. He nodded.

"I realize that, but you came home without pants, Bella." I laughed. This was a ridiculous conversation.

"I covered Jake with my clothes because he fell asleep on the beach. It was a drunken decision on my part."

He laughed. "I suppose so. I was just worried that.."

I shook my head. "I made some silly decisions last night but I know better than that." I finished, slightly red.

His warm eyes held mine for a moment while his thumb rubbed the back of my hand. "I'm sorry I behaved like I did when you brought me here. I also said some… uncomfortable… things to you. I lost my brain filter." I laughed out of embarrassment.

He sighed. "You hardly made me uncomfortable at any point." He answered pointedly. "You were… drunk. That was the only problem I had with it." He explained.

My brain worked overtime trying to decide his meaning. Was he… okay with me hitting on him? My conversation with Mrs. Beatty ran through my mind and I remembered that I promised her that I would take the proverbial bull by the horns. "I told you I thought you were sexy." I said bluntly.

His smooth face portrayed surprise. "Uh. Yes. You certainly did." He shifted in his chair and watched me dubiously.

"Then I groped you when you caught me before I fell." I remembered his perfect chest under my fingertips.

He laughed nervously. "You did." He nodded once.

"Then…" I began, but could hardly continue that train of thought.

His eyes darkened and he licked his lips. "You were drunk, Bella." He said slowly.

My heart hammered in my chest. "So is that why it was okay? Because I wasn't myself?"

He nodded curtly. "Of course. You were not yourself." His beautiful face almost looked disappointed, but I knew better.

I blushed slightly out of embarrassment with myself. He wasn't encouraging me, he was forgiving me. "Right." I managed, standing up and removing my hand out from under his. "Well, I'm going to get some breakfast."

He laughed. "It's noon, Bella."

I smiled a small, forced smile. "That's alright. I was drunk last night, after all." His raised an eyebrow at me and frowned. Before he could say anything about it I turned and left the porch quickly. I made my way downstairs to find Emmett playing the Wii.

"Bella!" He called merrily. "Go eat breakfast then come here! I think we could both play this!" He encouraged. I smiled and nodded my head. I finished the pot of green tea Alice made before I toasted some bread for myself. I ate quickly then went back out to the living room to find Emmett.

"Yes!" He exclaimed upon seeing me. "This is going to be awesome." He handed me the controller and I strapped it to my wrist.

I sighed. "You're going to beat me." I said simply.

He shook his head. "You see though? I can't cheat! If I go too fast, the motion sensor doesn't see it. I have to go just slow enough that it can read it. It's actually really hard for me to do." He laughed happily. "So, I figure you and I could play, cause I have restrictions."

I smiled brightly at his enthusiasm. "Alright then, what first?"

He started the game and we made me a Mii character, which Emmett encouraged should have blush on. I laughed when I saw that his Mii was huge and tall, with a unibrow. "Jazz." He said simply.

At first I was winning. I understood the basics of bowling, so I would do as I normally do. Emmett, however, was moving a bit too fast and the ball kept landing directly in the gutter. I pointed at him and laughed at his gutter balls.

As the game progressed, however, he learned what he should do. It was pointless after because his vampire skills let him do the same thing every time. So he was getting strikes every time.

I groaned. "That's not fair!" I exclaimed childishly.

He laughed and hugged me to him. "Aw, way to make me feel bad." He soothed. I cracked a smile at him and all was forgiven. I put the controller on the coffee table and turned to find Carlisle watching from the doorframe of their kitchen. I blushed at his intense gaze and he nodded his head for me to join him.

"What's wrong?" I asked concerned.

He sucked in a breath. "Alice says the overcast is going to stay now." It took me a moment to realize he meant the sun disappeared. "I, uh… wanted to know if you'd like to join me to my storage facility. I have something that I think you might like." He smiled genuinely.

I nodded. "Yeah, that sounds good." I looked over to Emmett who was looking at the two of us strangely. I blushed and threw on my jacket before I placed my hand in the crook of Carlisle's arm. He opened the house door for me, then the door for his shiny Mercedes. I plopped myself in his car's perfect, buttery, leather seats. He closed my door and in a second was already opening his.

I breathed. "You know, I don't think I'll ever get over you guys moving that fast." I said honestly.

He smiled. "I've never really thought of it. It would be no problem to stop doing that. I never thought that it may make you uncomfortable. It's rather easy to be myself around you." He complimented.

I shook my head. "No, it doesn't bother me. I like it, actually. I just… it sometimes still overwhelms me. When Edward would move quickly like that it just reminded me of all the differences between us. I liked it, but it was still a lot to take in." I concluded.

He raised an eyebrow at me. "Is it difficult for you to think of him?" He asked lightly. His elegant fingers slid on the pristine black leather steering wheel.

"Yes and no." I said honestly. "My rational side knows now that we weren't really meant for each other. He should have fought harder for me if he loved me so. He was always so eager to give me up. So I know now, despite our initial feelings for one another that when things get hard, he leaves." I licked my lips and thought for a moment. "Yet, we still had an amazing friendship. It was almost never more than that, anyway." I blushed thinking of the chaste kisses we shared. "So of course I miss him but I think this is best for us."

He swallowed and reached his hand for mine which I took gratefully. His fingers laced with mine and I sighed at the energy that passed between us. It was a comfort that I'd come to depend on.

"I've spent quite some time thinking of Esme, lately." He spoke quietly. "I gave her no choice but to live this life for eternity. I fully understand her resentment towards me. I also understand that we were together because I was all she knew. Her vampire existence has been very limited to me and our family. Our feelings for one another were too reliant on the family needing us as opposed to any obligation we felt towards each other. Lately, though, I've come to feel guilty for letting her go so easily. Emotionally, I mean. I know I wouldn't be able to keep her here with me, but I expected to feel depressed longer than I have been. We've been married for over 70 years. I just feel shallow getting over her like that." His eyes rested on mine for a moment before returning to the road.

I swallowed the tears I had for him. "Carlisle, there's nothing to feel guilty for. I think you've been getting over it for a long time now. You said before that you've known for decades that she's wanted to leave. So initially, you must have been hurt. Right?"

His mouth opened, but he just nodded.

"So, you probably spent years feeling terribly about the how and when she would leave. You're ready to move on now because you've been prepared for it." I gripped his hands tighter. "You deserve to be happy, Carlisle."

He smiled sadly. "You've always been so kind about us, Bella. Which leads me to a question I've been thinking about." He pulled into a parking lot and got out of the car, quickly opening mine and holding his arm out again. I held the crook of his arm as we walked into the building. "What question, Carlisle?"

He stopped walking and faced me. His eyes glittered. "If something ever happened to you… where you were surely to die..." He paused and his eyes flicked to our joined hands. "Would you prefer that I let you go? Or would you rather become like us?" He asked me seriously.

My jaw gaped. He was asking if I wanted him to turn me. "I've wanted that from the beginning, Carlisle." I whispered.

His hair blew into his eyes from the wind. "No, dear girl you wanted to be with Edward." He said matter-of-factly. I blushed slightly.

"That may be true. However, I always wanted to be a part of your family. I was hoping that it wouldn't take a life threatening injury to have to do it, though. I was hoping that you would simply because you wanted me around." I swallowed the stupid tears that were rising.

"How about this, then. I would absolutely adore you being with us, permanently." He smiled at the thought. "So, when you give me the word after high school is over, I will do it for you. However, if something were to happen before that we would make exceptions." He shrugged casually.

I smiled widely. "Really? You would do it?" I bounced at him and threw my arms around his neck. "That's all I want. That's all I want." I repeated.

His laughter rumbled in his chest against my own. I pulled back, overwhelmed. "Is that the gift you wanted to give me?" I asked happily.

He smiled. "Not exactly." I placed my arm back in his and we walked in the heated building. I could not believe this was a storage facility.

He must have noticed the surprise on my face. "I have a lot of old things. Very valuable things, actually." He pulled a key from his pocket and placed it in the lock, then entered a key code before the door beeped open.

My mind froze as I looked at all the things contained in the room. It was obvious how old the objects were. I walked through the room slowly, noticing how meticulous everything was arranged. There were things in lit glass cases, and on brass shelves on the walls. "Is this all your stuff?" I asked in awe.

He smiled and walked to where I was standing. "Yes." He whispered. I was looking at a clock that was ornately done in gold, black and red. It was a wind up clock, I could tell by the gold key that had been placed in the side of it. I sighed. "This is beautiful." I remarked.

"It's a Religieuse clock by Marguerite Mathieu." He explained. "I bought it in Paris in 1684."

I sputtered on a breath. "My God, Carlisle." I breathed. "I really do forget. The things you must have seen. Have you met anyone famous?" I asked him.

He laughed. "I met Napoleon Bonaparte in 1804. I was very intrigued by him. He could persuade anyone to do what he wished. He was short, and commanding. I enjoyed meeting him." He smiled at the memory.

I shook my head. "That… is the overwhelming thing I was talking about."

He laughed richly, while opening a jewelry chest. "This." He said, holding out an absolutely beautiful silver necklace. The pendant was ornately woven bands of silver holding a gorgeous topaz stone in the middle. I took it with shaking fingers while he undid the clasp. He moved fluidly behind me to help fasten it to my neck.

"It was my Mother's." He whispered. My breath caught in my throat at his proximity behind me. He held the back of the pendant up so I could see it. "It's been engraved with 'Cullen' on the back." He pointed to the elegant script. My heart thudded in my chest while my eyes watered with the meaning of a gift like this.

"Carlisle, I don't even think I can accept this." I squeaked. He fastened it around my neck and turned me towards him. He ran his finger tip over the stone in the center of the pendant and I watched him, enraptured.

He tilted my face up to his with his fingertips. "Bella, there's no one else I would want to have that. I was going to have a Cullen Crest made for you. This, however…" He trailed off. "I like it much more." He said seriously.

"The stone is the exact shade of your eyes." I whispered. A small smile formed on his lips. I reached up and stroked his smooth face and his eyes burned into mine. The hand he had on the hollow of my throat slid down my arm and pressed the bottom of my lower back. I stepped closer to him, pulling his face to mine with my hand.

We stood like that for a moment. His face millimeters from mine as we breathed the same air. I tangled my fingers in his silky, gold locks and pressed my lips to his gently.

His eyes fluttered closed. "Bella." He whispered before he pressed his lips to mine again slightly harder than the first time.

My heart pounded wildly as my blood boiled in my veins. I pressed myself closer to him and he pulled my body tighter against his own. His eyes opened again and they were dark honey. I groaned as I leaned in and kissed him, hard.

He wasted no time responding as his mouth devoured mine greedily. I moaned as I felt his tongue seek entrance to my mouth and I opened gratefully. He tasted absolutely exquisite, like vanilla and spices. His fingers splayed on my lower back and he groaned into my open mouth. My head spun as I realized I was kissing Carlisle. I grasped the back of his head and kissed him deeply. He pressed against me harder and I felt his arousal pressed against my abdomen. I broke the kiss so I could breathe and moaned as his mouth descended down the column of my throat to my collarbone.

"Bella, Bella." He whispered against my neck. He pressed me backwards and lifted me slightly so I was sitting on a table. I couldn't even think about how my ass was probably scuffing a 400 year old table. He shifted me so he was between my legs and I wrapped them around him encouragingly. He groaned and ground into the apex of my thighs earning him a long moan of my approval. My center absolutely ached for him as he devoured my mouth again. I wrapped my fingers in his back belt loops and pulled him flush against me as I arched against his straining length. "Carlisle, please." I moaned, begging him to touch me somewhere other then the small of my back.

He pulled back slightly disoriented. "God, Bella." He moaned, shifting his lower half away from mine. I groaned with the loss and let go of his belt loops. "Do you know what we almost just did?" He asked in disbelief.

I smiled slightly. "Almost."

He breathed and stepped away from me, turning away so he could adjust himself. "Bella, you and I… we can't do this." He breathed. My heart thudded loudly in protest.

"I care about you, Carlisle. I'd hope you could realize that." I said seriously.

He shook his head. "I know that, and you know how I feel. You should know, anyway." He ran his hands through his hair and sighed. "In all my years I've never pressed myself to a woman like that during a first kiss." He said disgustedly. "I've always been a perfect gentleman." He deplored. "It's you, Bella. I can't stop myself. You are glorious, and you don't realize it. Your skin is like cream and your hair like silk. You are the most tempting creature I've seen in all my years." He said almost accusingly.

I blushed. "So what are you saying, then?" I asked quietly.

He stepped closer and held his hand out for me so I could get down. "I think we have to slow down. You're so young, Bella." I frowned at him but took his hand anyway. "I know you've always known exactly what you want, you're very mature for your age. Still though, it's too soon for this."

I bit my lip and nodded. He was exactly right. We were being ludicrous. "You're right. Let me get this straight though, you aren't saying never, right?"

He laughed. "I don't know how I'll be able to leave you alone! We have to take our time though." He opened the door to the storage unit and walked out to the hallway with me. He shut the door and removed the key. "The others may not be so understanding." He whispered.

I flushed, thinking of them. "Okay. We'll give it time. I have no problem waiting, Carlisle."

He smiled, taking my arm in the crook of his again. "I hope you're right." He said vaguely.

**Some mild lemonade. Did I move too fast? It seemed just right at the time. Reviews make me moan.**


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N: I got a LOT of lovin' on the previous chapter. I have a feel that I won't this time though. To everyone who review and adds me to their favorites or story alerts, this is for you. Also, I'm going away for the weekend and I won't be posting for a few days. Posting should get back to normal on Tueday, though. This chapter was difficult for me, as I wished I was Bella over and over.**

When we got back to the house Alice was waiting on the front porch. Carlisle opened my door and gave me his hand as we walked back to the house. "I'll just be inside then. Bella, if you'd like to come in to the hospital tomorrow after school we can train you further." He smiled distantly.

I nodded. "Of course, Carlisle." He let go of my hand and went inside. It was then that I noticed Alice had been scowling at him the entire time. Crap. This was what he was talking about when he mentioned the feelings of the others.

"Bella, let's go to your house." She said, snatching my elbow and pulling me to my truck.

My cheeks flamed red. "Alice, it's not-"

"We'll talk at your house." She whispered and cut off my comment. I bit my lip as she drove my truck quickly down the dirt road.

After a few miles she turned to me. "He's an idiot!" She said loudly as I jumped with surprise.

I frowned at her. "I care about him, Alice. I really do. I will admit that I'm afraid to be close to him because I don't want to get hurt, but I know he's a good man." I tried to argue my decision.

She shook her head as she pulled into my empty driveway. I opened my door and unlocked my house door. Charlie wouldn't be home for another few hours. I walked into the living room and sat on the sofa while Alice paced in front of me.

"I saw you two together the morning Esme left." She breathed and my jaw went slack. "He was thinking of you, apparently how he's always thought of you… and you two were kissing." She smiled. "You two were so, so happy that I was appalled I had never seen him thinking of a future with you before." She sat on the couch beside me and crossed her legs. "I was happy that everything was going to work out. Then, I saw you decide to go get drunk. I left with the others on purpose so he would be the one to go get you. I actually saw you guys making out, but he changed his mind." She shook her head and sighed. "He's a gentleman. So then, I see him giving you that necklace, and you guys making out, and there are all these other visions of the two of you so happy in the future. I was ecstatic! I knew you guys had finally figured everything out!"

She stood up and paced more while I sat silently. "All of a sudden I see nothing for you two." She mumbled. "When I look in your future, I see you still trying to be with him and make him happy. Do you know what I see from him?" She asked, though I had no time to answer. "I see him avoiding you. Hiding his feelings from you. I see him avoiding you to spare others of possible hurt." She grimaced.

My heart beat sped up. That's why Carlisle was so quiet on the drive home from the storage unit. He was resolved to avoid me? My heart broke and my gut heaved. "Alice, he can't." I whispered. "Why tell me this? Why not talk to him about it?" I questioned.

"I am going to talk to him, but in the mean time… I need you to be patient with him. It's going to get worse, Bella. Please, don't give up on him just yet. He thinks we'd be upset, but I want you to know that we'd all be happy for you." She encouraged. "I will tell him the same thing." She promised.

I nodded miserably. "The issue isn't what you guys will think. I know he's thinking of Esme and Edward." I swallowed thickly. "Do you happen to see how Edward will take it if he finds out?" I asked. Her face lit with surprise but she quickly smoothed her features.

"Bella, one step at a time." She said vaguely.

I nodded numbly. "Please, go talk to him, Alice." I pleaded.

She hugged me tightly. "I'm going. I'll see you at school tomorrow." She promised and I smiled. The moment she left I felt my chest constrict. Why did I have this effect on people? Carlisle. Who has no problem being the pinnacle of the family. He would turn his back on me rather than deal with the consequences. I knew he wasn't afraid of the couple's opinions on us. He was afraid of Edward and Esme's opinions. I didn't give a damn about what they thought. I was resolved to try and make him see that we'd be perfect together. He was didn't think our relationship could survive the scrutiny. We could survive it, I was certain.

The next 2 weeks went by slowly at school, and even more slowly at work. Carlisle had stayed true to Alice's word and had a nurse training me now. I saw him a few times in passing where I would get a short nod or smile, but that was it. I had tried speaking with him at the end of the week to see what he'd be doing over the weekend, but all I got was a shrug and a quick mumble of 'working, probably.' I only went to their house three times, and I never saw him at all, at any point.

Alice came over every night and told me what he was thinking. She told me that she sometimes sees him coming to talk to me or apologize. My heart ripped open every time he never showed.

It was the second Friday I had gone without talking to Carlisle. I was sitting at work on a quick break to eat some oatmeal when the nurse had asked me to clean up room 12 after it had gotten dirty. I sighed at the implication of vomit or feces and nodded at her.

I had no idea she was talking about blood. I had no idea what happened in the room, but when I got there the bed, and floor were covered in blood. I could smell the rusty iron smell of it and my head spun. My breathing became labored and my heart hammered in my chest. I turned quickly to leave but it was too late. My vision darkened and I fell.

I awoke some time later on a gurney in another room. "Ugh." I moaned, reaching to touch the back of my head.

"You hit your head hard on the way down." I heard his smooth voice from across the room. I sat up to see him and saw stars. "Easy." He soothed as he came over to sit on the side of my bed.

My eyes watered as I looked at him. His concerned gaze looked suddenly guilty and he looked away. "You scared me." He said seriously. "I had no idea what happened."

"Why are you here right now?" I asked quietly. "Shouldn't you be ignoring me?" I asked and my voice broke on my tears.

He swallowed and looked pained. "Do you know what this is doing to me?" He asked in a panicked voice. "It's so complicated, Bella." He whispered.

"How can it be complicated? You said we'd try." I argued.

"I'm supposed to be 38 years old, Bella. Do you know what your Dad will think? What the people in the town will think?" His voice was miserable. "What about Edward or Esme? What if they found out? It would devastate Edward! He's my son and despite what's happened between you two, I know he's utterly in love with you." He explained disgustedly. His elegant features grimaced slightly and his silken hair fell into his face. "At the same time I'm torn, because I've been so miserable without you. All I want is to hear your laugh. Or see your face light up when you see something you like. I've missed you these past weeks. I can't look over the facts that we'd be upsetting a lot of people, Bella."

I let out a sob. "So that's it then. Because you're afraid to get the stink eye from a few people, you'd be willing to lose me?"

He swallowed and shook his head. "I don't ever want to lose you. I suppose I'd just be happy having you as a friend than not at all." He whispered as he stared down into his folded hands.

I sat up and jumped off the bed ignoring my dizziness. "I don't want you as a friend, Carlisle." I stood in front of him as he sat at the edge of my gurney rigidly. My heart hammered in my chest as I closed the space between us and hugged him to myself. "I love you, Carlisle. It may be too soon to know it, but I do. Whenever you're ready, I'll be waiting. Just please... Please don't ignore me. It kills me, it kills me." I cried. I gripped his golden hair tightly and inhaled his woodsy scent. He let out a broken breath and squeezed me to him desperately.

"I'm sorry, Bella. I didn't mean to hurt you. Forgive me." He pleaded. "I was trying to do right by you. I don't want people to think ill of you, and they already do. People already suspect." He whispered pulling back slightly to take in my expression.

"I don't fucking care what they think of me. I only care about you." I placed a chaste kiss to his full lips, which he returned. I stood up and he pulled me tighter to himself so his head was resting against my chest bone. I sighed as I felt the familiar energy pass between us. He was practically the blood in my veins.

"I will be good to you, Bella. I swear it." He promised and I believed him. "Let me drive you home. You hit your head really hard." He smiled slightly. "I had no idea your reaction to blood was going to be like that."

I laughed lightly. "You have no idea. What about you shift?" I asked.

"I was actually off work an hour ago. I was just finishing up and then you passed out…" He explained.

"Let's go, then." I smiled genuinely and held the crook of my arm to him. He laughed and stood up. "Don't be preposterous, Bella." He smirked and placed my hand in the crook of his arm instead. We walked in silence to his car and he opened the door for me. I climbed in and could practically hear my heart beat ringing in my ears. He walked at human pace around to his side and climbed in. I sat watching him for a moment with a smile on my lips.

He turned the car on and flicked the lights on. Even in the dim light of the car I could see the gold back lit in his eyes. He was about to pull out when he realized I was still watching him.

"What's wrong?" He asked, though he was smiling.

I shrugged. "You're sexy with your lab coat on." I smiled brightly at his raised eyebrow.

He laughed. "Yeah?" He asked and tried to sound nonchalant. "Sexy with a lab coat, sexy when I'm mad…" He turned to me and his eyes twinkled. "When else am I sexy?" He asked seriously.

"Ugh." I moaned before I jumped over the center console to press my mouth fully to his. He let out a huff of surprise before he reached quickly and slid his seat as far back as it could go. I took the gesture to mean he wanted me on his lap, so I struggled a bit to straddle him.

He moaned into my mouth when my center pressed down against the hardness in his black pants. I shifted slightly and groaned at the delicious friction. "You're sexy all the time. I don't really have to tell you, do I?" I asked playfully. I reached inside his lab coat and found the buttons to his button down underneath.

He groaned. "We can't! Bella, not here." He said half-heartedly while his hands and mouth roamed my neck.

I shifted harder against him and sighed when I felt the familiar tingle. He leaned back and inhaled deeply. "You smell like a field of freesia and roses when you're aroused like this." He murmured against the pulse point of my neck. I moaned at his words and shifted against him harder, the dull throb in my center demanding attention. I shifted my hips wider, and suddenly I could feel his entire length positioned perfectly under my scrubs. I moaned and shifted again while his mouth devoured mine.

"Missed you, my Bella." He said silkenly while he guided me over him. "So warm, so perfect." He mumbled.

My heart hammered in my chest and I ripped open his button down shirt, the buttons flying everywhere in the confines of the car.

"Bella!" He exclaimed. I giggled and attacked his mouth while my hands admired his absolutely perfect chest and abdominal muscles. I felt his hands rubbing at my skin under my top, so I reached out and ripped it over my head.

He sat back to look at me and his eyes darkened. "You've no idea how perfect you are." He whispered. I groaned as his cool fingers trailed down the column of my throat and over the pendant he gave me, his gaze following his fingertips. He slid his fingers over my dark blue bra, and I moaned as he slid his thumbs over the cups. My nipples hardened under his fingers, the smooth satin doing nothing to lessen their reaction to his cool touch.

I groaned and he leaned forward to place an open-mouthed kiss over the left nipple and flicked his tongue over the sensitive flesh. I whispered his name and rocked on him, the tingle between my thighs mounting as he hooked his arm around my neck and cupped my breast with his other hand. I kissed him hungrily as I shifted my hips against his quickly. He released my neck and pressed against my lower back, increasing the speed of my movements. "Bella." He moaned into my mouth. My hips bucked against his wildly as my orgasm hit me hard and fast.

"Carlisle!" I yelled, surprised. My breathing was labored as I felt him relax under me too. Which could only mean…

He laughed. "You are absolutely amazing." He wrapped his arms around my waist and nuzzled his face in my throat. I smiled lazily and ran my fingers through his silken hair. "Completely inappropriate, but that's alright." He laughed again and I joined with him. "I haven't finished in my pants since…" He looked away and thought for a moment. He laughed. "Jesus. I've never finished in my pants."

I laughed loudly and kissed him again. "I ripped your shirt open." I said guiltily as I fingered the material over his perfect torso.

His eyes darkened slightly. "That, you did." He agreed. "C'mon. Let's get you home. Your Dad must be wondering where you are." I frowned at him then noticed it was 10:30.

"Wow!" I lifted myself off his glorious lap and sighed with the loss. I pulled my top back on while he did his best to straighten himself out. He fixed the seat and pulled out of the parking lot.

He reached over the console and linked his fingers with mine as he drove. "You aren't upset that I…" He trailed off. His golden eyes flicking from me to the road nervously.

"Carlisle, it was perfect. I've just… missed you." I picked up our laced fingers and kissed the back of his hand. He smiled widely at that. "Now, don't go avoiding me, please." I whispered.

He grimaced and looked at me. "I couldn't, even if I wanted to." He replied seriously.

I bit my lip and nodded as he pulled up to my house. I leaned over the console quickly for a kiss. His lips met mine gently while his tongue slowly brushed against mine. I pulled back reluctantly and he smiled.

"See you tomorrow?" I asked hopefully.

He nodded. "Your truck will be back by tomorrow morning. Come by the house." He offered.

I kissed him again, quickly. "Till tomorrow." I sighed, opening my door. He couldn't be seen with his shirt ripped open like that.

"Goodnight, Bella." He said quietly as I closed the door. He waited till I was in the house to drive away. I sighed happily.

My Dad grunted behind me and made me jump. "You're just getting home?" He asked accusingly.

"Oh. Yeah. I'm sorry I'm late. There was an accident with a lot of… blood.." I turned green thinking of it. "I uh… I passed out and banged my head." I said quickly.

He sucked his teeth. "Bella." He said miserably.

"I know, Dad. It's nothing though. Dr. Cullen dropped me off. Alice will take me to my truck in the morning."

"Tell Dr. Cullen not to have you clean up blood." He said accusingly. "You've bumped your head enough." He explained.

I laughed. "I'm fine, Dad. I'm going to bed though. I'm beat." It was the truth. A head injury and an orgasm can make someone feel really tired.

"Hey, take it easy. Okay Bells?"

"I will. Promise." I shuffled my feet up the stairs and promptly passed out on my bed.

**A/N: Well, if you squeeze Carlisle and Bella together, you get lemonade. Lmao.**

**Your reviews fuel me to do better and write more. Thank you again to everyone who comments and adds me to their alerts. I never thought this story would take off like this. I love all of you like a big glass of Bellisle lemonade on a hot day. P.S. If I could thank Brand New briefly. I listened to their cd on repeated play. Hence, the angst and lemonade.**


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N: So I go away for a weekend and I come back to so many reviews! I love it! haha Thank you to those who find the time to, and to those who add me to their favs and story alerts. It makes my heart sputter. I caught an episode of Nurse Jackie this weekend and I'll tell you what... Peter Facinelli makes my heart tingle. Amongst other things. Someone asked me if I thought of Peter when writing this, and I have to say HELL yes. My Carlisle is based completely on him. I adore him entirely. **

When I woke up the next morning I decided I was going to do something I never do.

Get dolled up.

I knew I didn't have to, that Carlisle liked me just fine as I usually looked. Still, he was utter perfection and I wanted to look my best. I got out of bed and took a long shower to make sure everything was shaved and smooth. When I got out of the shower Alice was sitting on my toilet with the lid closed while reading a magazine.

"Shit!" I yelled and pulled my towel tighter to myself.

"Hello, Bella." She greeted happily. "You want to get dolled up, huh?" She smiled wickedly. "An orgasm does all kinds of things, doesn't it?" She asked bluntly.

I flamed red. "Get out!" I yelled, embarrassed.

She stood and shoved a bag at me. "Wear this." She said simply before dancing out of the room.

I sighed and eyeballed the bag before drying myself and rummaging through it. There was a black bra and black booty shorts that were silky and simple. I approved of them, so I threw them on. There was also a pair of dark wash skinny jeans and an emerald green sweater. The jeans were fine, but the sweater was so low cut that the cups of my bra practically stuck out. I sighed, exasperated. It was also rather tight, but the sleeves were long as was the general length. The neckline, however was really…open.

I took my necklace Carlisle gave me and put it on. The green of the sweater went beautifully with the gold of the stone. I fingered it happily.

Alice swung the door open without knocking. "I adore it!" She smiled. "Now, your hair."

She brushed it out and blow dried it, before applying some mild gel to make the curls more defined. She pulled my hair in a low ponytail off to the side, and curled it a bit with a curling iron. I looked so much older than I was.

Then she applied some brown eyeliner and mascara, and some mild concealer before she put some pink gloss on my lips. My eyes looked so big and smoky I knew I couldn't have done it without her. I threw my arms around her neck. "Thank you, Alice."

She giggled. "Oh, Bella." She let go of me so we could go downstairs. I threw on a pair of brown knee high boots Alice had put in my closet. They had a little heel, but it was alright.

"Look at you, you're glowing!" She beamed and I blushed. "All because of my Dad." She giggled as I glared at her.

"Alice, don't… refer to him as your Dad around me. It makes me feel…" I struggled to find the word. Whorish? Step-Momish?

Her eyes lit with embarrassment. "I'm sorry. I am so happy for the both of you. I never meant to make you uncomfortable." She shifted her feet and looked miserable.

"It's okay." I groaned. "I need to get used to hearing it, because when people start saying things that's what they are going to say." I mumbled.

"Fuck'em." She chirped. I laughed loudly at her happy voice uttering those words. She smiled before holding out her hand. "Care to join me for a sleepover?" She asked mischievously.

I tilted my head innocently. "Of course I do." I giggled. We drove to her house while arguing about the stereo station the entire way. We pulled into her driveway and I stepped out of my truck and shivered lightly.

Her eyes darted upwards. "It's going to snow tonight." She stated matter-of-factly.

My stomach turned. "Great." I said sarcastically as we walked up her porch steps. The door was pulled open by Emmett as soon as I reached for the handle.

"Bella!" He exclaimed happily as he scooped me up in a bear hug.

All the air decompressed out of my lungs. "Em." I managed before he set me down. "Don't you look cute enough to eat." He said inappropriately. Jasper raised his eyes from the book he was reading, surprised.

"Emmett, c'mon." He mumbled disapprovingly.

I smiled at the exchange before my gaze landed on Carlisle. He walked down the stairs in a white, v-neck cashmere sweater and khaki pants. The colors with his complexion and eye color made my mouth go dry. Without thinking I walked to him and pressed my lips to his. He smiled at me before his gaze flicked over the four other people in the room with us.

"You look absolutely beautiful." He said seriously. I flushed and bit my lip while I slid my hand into his.

"It's funny you should say that, I was just thinking the same thing about you." I flushed again as he ran his fingertips down the side of my throat to my pendant.

Rosalie huffed slightly. "So, she moved onto you, now?" She asked rudely.

My heart thudded in my throat and Carlisle pulled me to him. "Rosalie, please." He argued. "Don't do this. If not for Bella's sake, then for mine."

Her intense gaze relaxed somewhat. "I'm sorry, I didn't know… It just surprised me. That's all." She mumbled.

I turned to her. "I didn't want to cause hard feelings, Rosalie…" I told her honestly. "I do love him." I explained truthfully.

Jasper nodded. "I'd say." He remarked casually. I jittered when I remembered he could feel my emotions for Carlisle.

Emmett struggled. "So… You and Bella?" He asked with his eyebrow raised.

Carlisle let out a short, embarrassed huff. "Yes, Emmett." He clarified.

Emmett looked at Jasper. "And she really loves him, Jazz?" He asked astonished.

Jasper smiled and nodded. I wanted to crawl under a rock and die.

Jasper smiled wider. "Right now she can hardly stand it, she's so embarrassed. So let's leave'em alone. Alright?" He said with his smooth southern drawl. I smiled and mouthed 'thank you' at him.

Carlisle cleared his throat. "I think a trip to Port Angeles would be nice. Would you like to go with me?" He asked lightly.

I sighed at the opportunity of escape. "Of course, yes. Let's go." I said hurriedly.

He laughed and grabbed his keys before holding his arm out for me. I absolutely loved the gesture, so I smiled widely as I linked my arm in his. We walked out to his car where he opened my door. Before he let me get in, however, he wrapped his arms around my waist and kissed me deeply.

I moaned and opened my mouth for him, brushing my tongue gently against his. The way he tasted coupled with his scent almost brought me to my knees. He smiled against my lips while his cool hand pressed me to him. "You look devastatingly gorgeous in that color." He remarked quietly. I flushed. "I will have to throw the men off of you in Port Angeles." He smiled again and his golden eyes twinkled. He sighed and stepped away from me and I climbed in the car while my heart thudded in my chest.

In a second he climbed into his side and turned the car on to let it warm up. I tilted my head at him while he laced his fingers with mine. "Are you sure Rosalie…?" I asked quietly.

He gave a small smile. "It will probably be hardest for her." He replied honestly and gave my hand a squeeze. "She'll come around, though." He promised.

I nodded as he backed up precisely and turned onto the street. We sat in companionable silence until we turned onto the highway.

"Edward called this morning." Carlisle said simply. My heart hammered in my chest and my head spun.

I opened my mouth a few times before finally managing words. "Really? About?" I asked lightly.

Carlisle grimaced and pulled his hand out from mine. "You don't have to pretend it doesn't hurt you, Bella. I can hear the staccato of your heartbeat, you forget that." He said somewhat angrily.

I shook my head. "It's not…" I sighed and looked out the window. "Of course, it hurts. I think there will always be a tiny little piece of my heart that aches because my best friend ditched me in the woods." I said harshly. "You've nothing to be jealous or uneasy of. I don't regret you. Every time I think of you or look at you the hole I had in my chest disappears. Not 'feels better', but disappears like there was never a hole there in the first place." I swallowed hard before looking back at him. He was staring intently at me with a solemn expression on his face.

His golden eyes were like butterscotch. "I'm sorry I snapped about it. I've no idea why I did that." He mumbled quietly.

I smiled and reached back for his cool hand. He laced his fingers back with mine and gave a gentle squeeze. "He only called to check in. He asked how we were doing and told us he was in Africa." He explained.

My eyes widened. "Wow." My heart beat loudly. "Does he…know?" I asked vaguely while twisting his hand so I could run my fingers down his smooth palm.

He shook his head. "No." He hesitated. "Nor did he ask about you." He said quietly.

I frowned at that, but ignored it. "I wish things could be simpler for you and I." I apologized.

He smiled sadly. "According to you, fate never hands you anything on a silver platter."

I shrugged. "I did feel that fate was cruel, yes." I licked my lips and blushed. "I never imagined you would want me like I wanted you at the time, either."

His glossy eyebrow rose. "How long have you… wanted me?" He asked mildly while I blushed.

"Honestly?" I asked him while he nodded. "The very first time I saw you. The moment you walked through the doors I was stunned by how… sexy… you were." I blushed again while my heart beat furiously.

He laughed brightly. "Really? I didn't know that." He bit his lip self-consciously and rubbed the back of my hand with his thumb.

I smiled and nodded. "So I thought you were devastatingly sexy the moment I laid eyes on you." I giggled at the thought. "Then, when Edward was telling me about your past, I was enamored with how good you were. How genuinely good you achieved to be. I remember thinking that you were as close to an angel as this world was going to get." I finished quietly. He parked the car expertly on a side street in Port Angeles.

He squeezed my hand and I raised my eyes to his. His eyes had darkened, considerably. "I had no idea." He smirked slightly. "The first time I saw you differently was when I was stitching you up after the accident with Jazz." I swallowed and his eyes darted to my mouth. "It wasn't quite so forward as what you thought of me." He smiled slightly and I flushed again. "But I recognized that I would never meet another girl like you, not if I lived a thousand years." He finished.

I blinked back a few happy tears before I leaned in and captured his mouth with mine. He smiled into the kiss while his other hand came up to rest against the side of my neck with his thumb stroking my collar bone. "You know I love you, don't you?" He asked quietly, resting his forehead against mine.

My heart hammered wildly in my chest at his admission. I smiled and gripped the sides of his smooth face before I kissed him again. "I had an idea." I said quietly. "Though it's really nice to hear." I encouraged.

He laughed and pulled my lips back to his. "Love you, Love you." He whispered against my skin. I giggled happily and silenced him with my lips.

We walked together through the main street with my arm placed in the crook of his. Around 3 we stopped in front of a little restaurant where Carlisle insisted we stop to get me lunch. Upon Carlisle's request we were seated in the back of the restaurant directly in front of the lit fireplace. I had to admit, it felt nice because the weather outside was definitely colder than it was earlier.

"You look so lovely in the light of the fire." He remarked distractedly. His golden eyes almost looked like they were backlit with the reflection of the fire.

I smirked. "You know, You don't look too bad either." I said mildly as my heart rate sped up. "Actually, I think you look downright.." I bit my lip and flushed.

He leaned forward and his brilliant hair fell into his eye. "What? Sexy?" He whispered.

My stomach clenched while I felt the familiar tingle of arousal. His nostrils flared while his eyes darkened. His gaze intensified and he swallowed as my mouth went dry.

Miserably, the waitress picked that time to ask for our orders. I ordered a bowl of chowder while he opted for an espresso. I quirked my eyebrow at him as the waitress walked away.

"Espresso? Doesn't that smell awful to you?" I questioned.

He shrugged. "It's just for decoration."

I laughed at the expression. As our lunch progressed, our chairs managed to get closer and closer. By the time I was finished with my chowder my arm was resting on his thigh while one of his hands was on the small of my back. I was practically crawling onto his lap. The thought made me smile to myself.

"Did you want to head home, now?" I asked quietly.

He nodded. "Of course, Bella." He stood and walked over to take care of the bill before coming back to help me with my jacket. I blushed slightly. "You're so… chivalrous. It's so different." I quirked my lips at him and placed my hand in the crook of his arm.

"If I were to be honest, I just like being close to you.." He whispered while he bit his lip and glanced away.

I smiled and gripped his arm tighter while we walked back to his car. "Whatever the reason, I absolutely love it." I encouraged which earned me one of his panty-dropping smiles.

He opened my car door before placing a gently kiss to my lips. I climbed in and he walked at human pace around to his side. I smiled at that and glanced around at the people standing on the street when my eyes landed on Janice. The nurse Carlisle had asked to train me. Her eyebrows were knit together in confusion as she watched Carlisle and I. My mouth went dry as he climbed into the car and leaned over to give me a kiss again.

He regarded my expression and looked in the direction that I was looking. Her face portrayed surprise before she turned quickly and walked into a music store.

"Oh." Carlisle managed. He started the car quickly and pulled out before he even let the car warm up. "Damn it." He whispered.

I swallowed and tried to calm my racing heart. "It was going to happen eventually." I said quietly. "I already said that I'm not embarrassed of you. I love you." I encouraged as he slid his hand over to hold mine. It was a few moments before he spoke.

"Bella, I'm not trying to be difficult. If you are honestly not ashamed of me then tell your father about us." He laughed humorlessly at my horrified expression. "Tell your friends at school that you're seeing Dr. Cullen." He went on as my heart smacked against my chest.

I shook my head trying to reason with him. "It will never be alright with them." I frowned slightly as the panic started to set in. Was he going to back away again? I wasn't sure I could handle it if he did. "Carlisle, is this what it's going to be like the whole time?" I asked miserably.

He sighed and pulled back into his drive way. He must have been going ridiculously fast. "I'm sorry. No, it won't be like this anymore. I don't want you to think I doubt us. I will do my best to do damage control." He smiled a tiny smile that seemed genuine before getting out of the car and opening mmy door for me. He held his hand out to mine and I took it as I climbed out.

He kissed me deeply and I returned the gesture vigorously. His tongue met my own aggressively and I moaned at his enthusiasm. I wanted to pour every ounce of my love for him and my belief in us to encourage him not to doubt me. He broke the kiss to allow me to breathe. "We can deal with this. We can." He encouraged. I nodded and we walked into the house with my arm in the crook of his cool one.

**Reviews are love.**


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N: WE BROKE 100 REVIEWS! Thank you all for your continued support. I know the chapter updates have been slower, but the chapters themselves have been longer, and they are getting far more intricate. I love giving them problems, what can I say. Thank you again to those who review and add me to their favs as well as add me to alerts. I adore you, really. **

When we walked into the house everyone's expression seemed solemn. Alice glanced at the coffee table before resting her eyes on Carlisle.

"There's mail here for you." She said quietly. "Perhaps you should open it in your study." She said suggestively. I frowned as he walked to the table and picked up the envelope before he nodded at Alice and headed upstairs. Her eyes flicked to mine and she walked quickly to me, the movement so fast I didn't see it at all.

"Come." She said quickly before she slung me on her back and we ran out the front door. It was freezing out so the bitter cold stung my face and made my eyes water. It was a few moments before she set me down and I swayed slightly.

"W-what's this about?" I shivered slightly and my face stung from the cold.

"That letter was divorce papers from Esme." She explained. "I didn't want to say that to you in front of him. He will need a moment to digest it for himself."

I sat down on a fallen tree numbly. It had never occurred to me that I was… with a still-married man. While I knew Esme and Carlisle were technically separated, I could not believe it had never occurred to me what kind of a girl I was. My stomach clenched with disgust for myself. Poor Carlisle will probably have a similar revelation at the house. "I feel disgusted with myself, Alice." I whispered.

She sighed before folding herself sinuously on the forest floor. "I know you feel like.. a hussy." She explained bluntly. "There's no reason for it. Esme and Carlisle hadn't been….intimate in 20 years."

My jaw gaped at the confession, yet I felt no better. "They were still married. It doesn't make it okay because he hadn't got some action in a while." I explained bitterly.

"Of course it doesn't! What makes it okay is their relationship was over. You love each other! When I look in your futures I see something so brilliant it almost makes me jealous." Her chime-like voice dropped a bit. "I don't know how else to put it." She whispered while her delicate fingers danced through the leaves on the forest floor.

I shook my head and cried silently. "We still should have waited. If she ever asks when we got together…we will have to tell her it was before they were divorced. You know what people say about girls who see married men?" I asked miserably.

She nodded before kneeling and taking my hands in her tiny, cool ones. "I certainly do know. I also know what people say about couples that were meant for each other. I know what people will say when you spend the rest of your life with him. They will say that you were perfect for each other. You just have to give it time." She promised and my heart thudded at her honesty. I nodded and hugged her tiny frame tightly.

"I love you, Alice." I sobbed. "Thank you for always being there." I hiccupped.

She laughed. "I always will be, too." She promised. "Let's get you back. Carlisle wants you."

I climbed on her back and she ran at a slightly slower speed. It was still cold, but at least my eyes weren't stinging and watering. When we got back in her backyard Carlisle was standing there with his hands deep in his khaki pockets. His eyes sparkled slightly as Alice set me back down.

"I lit a fire in my study, if you'd care to join me." He said quietly.

The thought of sitting in front of a warm fire was something I suddenly craved. My face and hands were bitter cold from being outside for so long. He seemed to know this, and didn't take my hand in his this time. I walked up the stairs and opened his study door before kneeling on the carpet in front of the fireplace. My face and hands tingled from the sudden warmth while my nose ran slightly. I stood up and went to the restroom for a moment to blow my nose and wipe the mascara from under my eyes. After a quick human moment I went back to his study to find Carlisle sitting on the floor in front of the couch, I imagine so he could be closer to the fireplace. I walked to him slowly and he patted the carpet next to him without looking at me. I swallowed slightly before sitting closely next to him. We sat in silence for a few moments while he watched the fire and I watched him. His jaw worked silently while I watched the flames dance in his clear, butterscotch gaze. My heart thudded at how lucky I was to have this beautiful man.

When he noticed my heartbeat pick up, his eyes slid from the fire to rest on my face. He held his arm out to me, and I climbed underneath of it so I could rest my face on his shoulder. He placed a kiss on my forehead while his hand played with the hair at the nape of my neck.

"I adore you." He said quietly, finally breaking the silence. "I want you to know that the surprise I felt upon receiving the papers had nothing to do with my feelings for you. When a vampire marries, it's almost unheard of for us to divorce. It only upsets me that this would be the first thing that I've… failed at." He explained quietly. I swallowed and waited for him to continue. He placed another kiss in my hair before continuing. "It also makes me upset to think that I've… done all this… while still being married. I've technically cheated on her." He whispered harshly.

I shook my head. "So what then, Carlisle?" I said dejectedly. "Do you think poorly of me for pressing you to further our relationship? You don't have to, because I already loath that I couldn't wait." My throat constricted tightly.

He sighed. "I could never think poorly of you, my love." He whispered sadly. "I hate that you feel to blame for this." He gestured to himself with his other hand. "You certainly don't need to. I already signed the papers and mailed them back." He finished. "So it's done. I am infinitely grateful for you. There is no doubt in my mind that you are my soul mate. The level of… passion… you provoke from me. You couldn't begin to imagine, Bella. My emotions right now stem from my surprise that I failed at something. I do not ever want to fail you. I don't ever want you to leave me because I was not good enough." He whispered brokenly.

A few tears rolled down my cheeks at his words. "Carlisle." I whispered soothingly. "I think you're an angel. What could an angel possibly do to not be good enough?" I sat up and crawled onto his lap. I splayed my hand over the left side of his chest. "It may not beat anymore, but that's only because it's made of gold. You haven't failed at anything because you were meant for me. I truly believe that. This is just a step in the right direction. Everything about you makes me love you more than I did the day before. You've saved countless lives all because of your unsurpassed restraint and gentility. My greatest fear is losing you. I love you, Carlisle. You are the very blood in my veins." I whispered as I slid my fingertips over his smooth cheek bones.

He let out a breath he had been holding before he grasped the sides of my neck and pulled my face to his. I kissed him deeply and he sobbed tearlessly as my tongue caressed his. I slid one hand to rest on his heart while my other hand slid into his silky hair.

"Oh, Bella." He sighed into my mouth, "I love you, my Bella."

I smiled as his mouth worked its way down my throat. I tipped my head back and moaned at the feel of his smooth, gentle, lips caressing my skin. He leaned back and pushed my torso away while his fingers slid under the hem of my sweater. His eyes darted to mine for permission and I nodded. I held my arms over my head while he slid the material up and over my head, his mother's necklace landing between my breasts.

His eyes followed the path of the pendant and he sighed. "Your skin looks like rose petals in the light of the fire." He whispered as his eyes devoured my bra-clad chest. I unbuttoned my jeans slowly, letting him know they were coming off. He gulped, but said nothing.

I stood up to kick off my boots and slid my jeans down my thighs. His eyes darkened considerably as I kicked the material from my legs altogether.

I settled back down on his thighs only this time I straddled him. His fingers danced up my thighs to my waist before sliding around to my back. He reached out and pulled my hair tie out which allowed my curls to fall down my back. He sighed. "And you speak of angels…" He whispered.

I flushed slightly under his intense gaze. "Beautiful." He murmured before sitting up enough to capture my lips with his own. Our tongues slid together gently but intensely. I moaned at his wonderful taste, my body practically vibrating with the energy passing between us. His fingers slid through the curls behind my back, and came to rest on the clasp of my bra underneath them.

I broke the kiss to nod slightly, and before I even realized I felt the slack from my bra being undone. My heart thudded in my chest as his fingers slid the straps down my arms before it fell in his lap between us.

His eyes were pitch black as they gazed at my exposed breasts. My nipples tightened under his intense gaze, and I felt the tingle of arousal between the apex of my thighs. "Freesia." He smiled, before leaned to take my left nipple into his cool mouth. I cried out at the temperature and sensation, my hips rocking forward on his thighs seeking relief. He scooted his hips further down so my underwear clad center was resting suggestively on his cool hardness. I moaned and arched my back, rocking on him again. He splayed his fingers on my right breast and palmed it's weight in his gentle hand. His fingertips brushed against my hardened nipple and I moaned loudly at the intense sensation.

His mouth released my breast and he placed open mouthed kisses across my chest bone and to my other breast. "Please." I begged him as I rocked on him again.

I pulled at the soft, cashmere sweater he was wearing and he pulled it over his head. He splayed his fingers across the underneath of my thighs, and before I could register the movement he had flipped us and put me on the couch. My center throbbed at the loss of him under me and I moaned his name.

He kissed the space between my breasts, and trailed kisses all the way to the top of my underwear. I saw him breath deeply before placing open mouthed kisses on the inside of my thighs. My heart was pounding and my breathing labored at his ministrations. He crawled back up my body and switched our position again so I was sitting in his lap on the couch. I quickly undid his belt buckle and undid his pants before I fingered the material irritably. He laughed at my suggestive tugs on his pants and pulled them down, before kicking them off. I shifted my hips purposely and practically yelled when I felt his long, cool length nestled against my hot center. He let out a long moan as well, and I rocked against him again. My heart hammered loudly when I realized the only thing separating us was our underwear. His eyes glittered onyx as his palms slid over my breasts to my hips. The fire made his pale skin glow slightly and I sighed at how beautiful he truly was.

His hands slid from my hips to my thighs as his mouth devoured mine. I thrust my breasts against his cool chest and moaned into his mouth at the feel of it. He shifted us slightly, and before I realized why, I felt his long, cool, fingers press against me through my underwear. I moaned into his mouth as my breathing increased. The feeling was absolutely incredible.

"Bella, you're so, so warm." He moaned as his fingers rubbed me firmly through the thin fabric. I closed my eyes and shifted my hips wider to make it easier for him. I wanted more than this.

"Oh, Carlisle, please." I moaned. He smiled against my lips and I felt his fingers slide under the elastic of my underwear and rub directly against my flesh. The throbbing increased, ten fold and I moaned loudly while I leaned back to rest my palms against his knees.

His eyes glittered in response as his fingers slid along my moist folds. Finally, his thumb rested against my bundle of nerves while two of his fingers slid deeply inside me. My reaction was intense and instantaneous. My orgasm crashed over me, and I rocked against his fingers hard.

"Christ!" I heard him yell as my center contracted around his fingers fiercely. My hips convulsed over his and it felt like my heart was going to explode out of my chest.

It took a few moments for me to come back down from such a rush, and when I did I nearly came undone again. He had slid his hand out from inside me and he was looking at me mischievously as he licked his fingers clean of me.

"Carlisle." I whispered hotly.

He smiled slightly and pulled his finger from his mouth before kissing me deeply. The taste of me on his lips ignited something in me that I did not expect. I rocked on him and was surprised to find… he was hard. Again.

"Vampire." He whispered proudly.

"Did you not….?" I asked quietly while my face flamed red. Was I really trying to ask Carlisle if he finished?

He laughed, embarrassed. "I've never finished in my pants before in 400 years. And now I have. Twice with you, already." He laughed again and I smiled sleepily.

I wrapped my arms around his neck, pressing my chest against his cool frame.

"Wait." He whispered, moving his hands under my thighs and carrying me quickly to my room. He shifted my weight to one arm and moved the blankets back before placing me on the bed. "I'll be right back, I'm just going to… change." He smiled slightly.

"Okay." I whispered. He was right, it only took him a moment before he came back in the bedroom wearing a different pair of boxer shorts. He climbed in the bed next to me, and I rolled over so I could rest my face on his chest. His arm wrapped protectively around me and he placed a kiss in my hair.

I was about to fall asleep when a question burned on my tongue. "Carlisle? Do you think it so… intense for you because you've never been with a human?" I asked quietly.

He cleared his throat and rubbed my arm with his hand. "I've..uh.. I have been with human girls before, Bella."

I sat up and stared into his embarrassed face. "What?"

"It was a long, long time ago." He shrugged. "I've been alive for nearly 400 years. I was… lonely." He shrugged. "So, naturally there were girls before Esme. Before you." He explained.

I shook my head at him. "How many, Carlisle?" I asked genuinely interested.

He laughed uncomfortably. "A few." He said vaguely. "Oh, and it's never, ever been like it is with you. Not in my entire, long existence." He promised.

I smiled at his confession. "Well, you are incredibly sexy." I shrugged. "One can hardly blame you, or the other girls." I laughed and he chuckled as well.

"Goodnight Bella. I'm in love with you." He said meaningfully.

My heart sped and I rested my face back against his heart. "Love you." I mumbled sleepily before sleep claimed me.

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**Reviews are love. Special shout-out to Brand New for their amazing music and their ability to continuously motivate me to write smut. 3**


	10. Chapter 10

**A/N: My oh my, the love has been overwhelming! I fear not so much this time, though. haha. Thanks again to everyone who comments and adds me to their favorites or alerts. I blush every time someone does, I'll tell you. These next two chapters have been really difficult for me. So please be kind! 3**

I awoke the next morning to Carlisle still under my cheek. The only difference was I now had a blanket separating me from his chilly chest. I smiled and gripped him tighter to myself.

"Morning." I whispered groggily as I sat up and pulled the sheet with me.

He smiled and his twinkling eyes raked over my exposed back. "Good morning, beautiful." He greeted before he leaned for a kiss.

I shook my head and covered my morning breath with my hand. "One minute!" I said quickly before getting off the bed with the sheet. I opened the door and ran to the bathroom. After a quick human moment, I brushed my teeth thoroughly and threw on my bathrobe. I opened the door to find Alice leaning against the wall across from the door.

"Good morning!" She chirped happily. "I'm making breakfast, so don't take too long." She smiled knowingly. I blushed and nodded.

"I'll be down in a minute." I promised. I walked past her and back into my bedroom. My jaw gaped at the gorgeous man looking out my window. My eyes landed on the defined 'v' muscle pointing down into his boxers. My mouth watered slightly.

He turned to me and smiled lovingly. "It snowed last night." He said regretfully.

I sighed. "Alice said it would." I told him and walked over to give him that kiss he asked for earlier. He wrapped his cool arms around my waist and I moaned contentedly when his tongue smoothed against mine. He sighed miserably. "I have to go into the Hospital for a bit. I'll be home later tonight, though." He promised.

I nodded against his chest. "It's alright. I probably have to spend some time with Charlie." I amended.

"Last night was.." He smiled slightly as his eyes twinkled brightly. "Possibly the best night in my life." He laughed. I palmed his smooth, marble chest and kissed his chest bone.

I wrapped my arms around his narrow waist and sighed happily. "I'm so grateful for you." I whispered.

He wove his fingers through my hair and tilted my face up to his before devouring my mouth. His tongue slid against mine while his fingers quickly undid the bathrobe I had tied around my waist. His cool fingers slid up my bare back before gliding around my rib cage to cup my breasts. I broke off our kiss to get some much needed air. His eyes had darkened again considerably. "When was the last time you hunted?" I remarked quietly.

His eyebrows rose. "How can you be thinking of that right now?" He said seriously, though there was a smile tugging at the corners of his lips. He sighed. "I hunted 8 nights ago." He whispered. "Can you really tell I've waited too long?" He asked with an embarrassed hint to his voice.

I shrugged slightly while he wrapped his arms back around my waist, this time under my bathrobe. My nipples hardened painfully against his cool chest. "Your eyes are darker lately. I didn't know if that was because you were… hungry." I finished distractedly.

A low growl emitted from deep inside his chest. My eyes widened with surprise. "Oh, I'm very hungry, indeed. It has nothing to do with thirst though, I assure you."

The tingle that had started grew ten fold at the ferocity he displayed. I had never imagined Carlisle to be quite so…aggressive. I wanted to hear him growl under my touch for eternity. He groaned miserably. "My work beeper is going off in my study. I've got to call them back." He mumbled.

I nodded while he slid is arms from around my waist before tying the bathrobe closed again. "Please, call me later tonight. Even if you can't come by." He pleaded.

I smiled and placed another kiss on his perfect lips. "Of course."

He left to take a shower and get ready while I threw on some sweatpants and a tee shirt so I could go downstairs presentably.

Alice was just finishing the eggs while Emmett struggled to butter my toast. I laughed. "You don't have to make me breakfast. I can do it, you know." Emmett smiled triumphantly at his buttered toast before putting it on my plate.

"I like cooking." Alice promised. "Plus, it's funny because Emmett crushed 4 pieces of toast before he finally buttered 2 properly."

Emmett scowled at her and I as we shared a laugh. "Thank you, Emmett." I encouraged. I ate my eggs slowly and self-consciously as two pairs of perfect eyes dissected my every bite.

"She actually likes that." Emmett frowned in wonderment.

"Yes. She actually does." I said with my mouth full.

I laughed at the grimace he made. Carlisle walked into the kitchen, freshly showered and smelling absolutely divine. I swallowed my toast and blinked at him.

He smiled slightly. "I got a call just now, I have to go in early. It seems there was a car accident and your Dad brought in a drunk driver. He wants the okay from me so he can arrest him."

I smiled. "That sounds like my Dad." I sighed. "I'll see you later then?"

He walked over and kissed me soundly. "I truly hope so. Till then." He whispered.

I sighed at his retreating form. Emmett sucked his teeth. "That still surprises me. Every time." he said while he blinked.

I tilted my head at him. "You know, me too." I smiled brightly at him.

Emmett and I played Wii tennis and he indulged me a bit and let me win. To my dismay, Jazz had gotten to the game and I now had a unibrow just like Emmett's Mii did. I laughed. It was like the Cullen Crest of the Mii's.

Just as we started our second game, Alice came bouncing down the stairs. "Shit!" She chirped. "Bella, there's a problem!"

Emmett paused the game as her eyes darted from him to me. "Your Dad… he talked to a lady who saw you and Carlisle in Port Angeles yesterday." She breathed out.

My body froze and I sat on the couch. "Janice?" I asked knowingly.

She nodded. "He's already heard it from a few other people that you two… were… together." She frowned slightly. "He hasn't said anything to Carlisle yet because he wants to talk to you first." She frowned. "You have to lie, Bella. He won't like the truth."

I swallowed and nodded at her. "I'm going to head home then. It'll probably help if I'm home before he is." I reasoned.

Her eyes focused and unfocused. "Yes, it will. Drive carefully, Bella. Please?" She made me promise.

I nodded and ran upstairs to change quickly. I grabbed my keys and said goodbye before I headed back to my house. My tires slid precariously a few times, but I managed to get myself home alright. I pulled into the driveway and breathed a sigh of relief that my Dad wasn't there yet.

I started a load of laundry and straightened up the living room before taking some pork chops out of the freezer to defrost for dinner.

I knew my lying skills left much to the imagination. Perhaps I should have asked Alice what the best lie would have been, but it was too late now. There was also a very small part of me that wanted to tell Charlie the truth. How bad would it possibly be to have it known that Carlisle and I were together?

I shuddered slightly. I knew Charlie would never let me out of the house again. Perhaps he would believe it if I told him that Carlisle was giving me the Heimlich Maneuver on the street because I was choking on a piece of gum? I seriously doubted it.

My heart thudded wildly when I heard the door being unlocked. I turned to face the sink and put the pork chops in the basin. I then made myself busy and put away the dishes that were dried in the rack. My fingers shook slightly so I gripped the sink tightly.

"Bella." He greeted warily.

I turned to him and forced a smile. "Hey, Dad." I jittered.

"I didn't expect you to be home from Alice's house just yet." He frowned while he pulled out his chair at the kitchen table and sat down. "You and I should have a talk." He explained uncomfortably.

I sat down in the chair opposite him and tried to control my hammering heart. My hands shook under the table and I gripped my own knees to stop them.

"I called Dr. Cullen this morning." He said vaguely. "There was a car accident caused by a drunk driver, and I needed him to give the dope a clean bill of health so I could throw him in the slammer." He said slowly. My knees bounced under the table and I averted my eyes.

"There's a few nurses you work with… Amy and Janice?" He asked to which I nodded. "Well, they had a few things to tell me, and I'll tell you, Bella I didn't like it one bit."

I opened my mouth a few times but nothing came out. My Dad's face turned a slight purple at my reaction, then he continued. "It seems Amy was working the night you passed out because of the blood. Dr. Cullen gave you a ride home?" He asked pointedly.

I nodded, but said nothing. "She told me she went outside after the two of you left. Once at ten, once at ten thirty. She said both times Dr. Cullen's car had the lights on but hadn't moved. You were in the car with him, right?" He asked.

I swallowed the nervous tears that had formed in the back of my throat and closed my eyes. My stupid brain had drawn a blank and I had no idea what to say. The night I was dry humping Carlisle in his Mercedes. What the hell could I say to explain 45 minutes of sitting idly in the car?

When I opened my eyes his face portrayed complete horror. He continued. "I told nurse Amy that there must have been a perfectly good reason for it." He said miserably. I bit my lip as he continued. "Then Janice tells me that she sees… you and Edward's Dad… in Port Angeles yesterday." I couldn't help the cringe that my face made when he described Carlisle as Edward's Dad. "She said she saw you two… kissing." He said slowly and disgustedly.

My brain froze completely and I realized I was tired of the drama already. What difference did it really make, anyway? I stood up from the table and slammed my fists down. "So what?" I yelled. The complete look of shock on his face making me pause for a moment. "He and I have lost so much! He's been so wonderful to me, Dad. You can't even begin to imagine. This past month and a half would have been awful without him. I'm old enough now where I don't need your permission to keep seeing him." I pointed out.

He sputtered miserably. "Bella! He's twenty years older than you! I know the guy doesn't really look it, but Christ!" He wiped his face with his hand. If my Dad only knew he was actually about 350 years older than me. I wondered what he would say about that. "What about Alice? She's your friend! That's her Dad!"

I shook my head. "He didn't adopt her that long ago. She's happy for us." I argued.

He grimaced harder. "When you sleep over there…" He said slowly as his face paled. MY face reddened horribly but I managed a response that wouldn't give my dad a coronary.

"C'mon, Dad. I have my own room at his house." I shook my head slightly. "He's a good man." I said quietly.

He covered his face in his hands. "Bella, why?"

I laughed despite the horrible situation I was in. "I'm sorry this is so disappointing to you, but really… there's not a whole lot you can say." I said truthfully. "He's not some creepy old man trying to steal my virginity. Which is still intact, by the way. I'm with him because he's absolutely perfect. I love him, Dad." I blushed harder at my complete honesty.

This time he laughed. "You loved Edward, too. Look where that got you."

I felt my entire body quake at the words he spat at me. I wrapped my arms around my stomach to help myself stay together. Traitor tears rolled down my cheeks despite how badly I didn't want him to see me cry. "Fuck you, Dad." I grabbed my keys and stormed out of the house. I couldn't see his reaction to what I said because my tears had blinded me.

My Dad thought I was a harlot. I got in my truck and peeled out as my tires spun pointlessly in the snow.

I drove down my street recklessly. My tears blurred my vision and I pounded my fist into my steering wheel. I couldn't see where I was going, but I could hear my engine protest with the speed I was going.

I turned the wheel quickly, attempting to turn down another street when my back tires kept sliding. I gripped the wheel hard and slammed the brakes to try and stop, but it was too late. The drivers side of my car slid into the ditch on the side of the road. The car jerked roughly with the impact and my head smashed against the drivers side window. The truck continued to roll and I bounced roughly into the steering wheel before literally flying out the window. The last thing I remember is a wind chime voice calling my name.

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**I'm evillll.**


	11. Chapter 11

**A/N: Thank you all for SO many reviews and adds and favoritedness. It's awesome. This chapter was so SO difficult. It really did take me ages. haha Sorry for the EVILLL cliffie the other day. It's not generally my style. Oh, who am I kidding. ;]**

**.**

I could hear the heart monitor beeping steadily beside me. The immense pain my body was in made it difficult to even consider opening my eyes. I knew I was at the hospital because of the sterile smell and the heart monitor. The beeping increased slightly as I struggled to remember why I was here.

"You saved her." I heard my Dad say to someone.

"Of course I did, Chief Swan. It's my job, first of all. Secondly, I care for her a great deal." Carlisle's smooth voice counter back.

The truck accident. Oh, shit. I had really done it this time.

"Do you love her?" My Dad asked.

"More than anything, Charlie."

I heard my Dad sigh. "It's hard for me, you know. That's my little girl in there. And you're a lot older than her…" He sucked his teeth. "Then I think about how it's my fault she's here at all. I said some horrible things to her. She deserves better than that. I know you're a good man, you got a good head on your shoulders. I know you aren't using her to get over what happened to you. Right?" He questioned anyway.

"I can promise you, my intentions with Isabella are pure." He replied. "I know I should have gone to you first. That perhaps if I would have told you instead of someone else we wouldn't be here doing this under these circumstances."

Charlie grunted. "Well, that's true too."

"May I pursue a relationship with Bella?" I heard Carlisle ask.

Charlie sighed loudly. "I don't want her sleeping over your house anymore. At least… not until she graduates." Charlie requested.

"That's not a problem."

"Then fine. You better be good to her. Like she's gold."

"I swear to you that I will."

"Call me if she wakes up?"

"Of course." Carlisle promised. I heard my Dad's shoes click down the hallway.

"Bella?" Carlisle whispered. I didn't hear his footsteps approach at all. I blinked my eyes open and the immense pain in my head made me groan. The heart monitor went crazy. "Are you in pain, sweetheart?" His concerned, topaz eyes regarded me protectively.

"Ye.." My throat croaked so I tried again. "Yes." I whispered. He nodded and pressed the IV button.

"You're going to need to rest." Carlisle whispered. I felt his cool fingertips run down the side of my face gently.

"Carlisle? What… am I okay?" I asked worriedly.

He frowned slightly. "You were brought in yesterday because Alice found your truck wrapped around a tree. Do you remember that?" He asked.

I nodded. "I remember the accident." I said softly. "I remember fighting with my Dad… that's about it."

"You were brought in by ambulance and you have severe head trauma. Luckily, that seems to be the worst of it. You have massive bruising along your left side. Your left wrist is sprained, but that's nothing." He promised.

I groaned. "Everything hurts, though."

He smiled slightly. "You bounced around in the cab of a truck that has no airbags. I spent an hour pulling shards of glass from your head." He explained. "You're going to be in pain for a while."

"Did you have to cut all my hair off?" I asked miserably.

He smiled wider. "Absolutely not. I made sure of it." He leaned in and placed a brief, cool kiss to my lips. "You scared me, though." He whispered. "I'm not ready to turn you quite yet."

I managed a small smile as I noticed the pain meds kicking in. "I love you." I whispered groggily.

He kissed my temple, then my cheek, then my lips. "And I love you, my Bella." He whispered back.

I don't remember falling asleep, but the next few days were spent with me being conscious then not. Carlisle visited often, as did my Dad and Alice. Carlisle also explained that Emmett and Rosalie would have came by too, if it weren't for the fact they were supposed to be in Harvard for college. For obvious reasons, Jasper could not come see me at all, either.

I apologized to Charlie and he shook his head and apologized back.

"See Carlisle, I don't care. Just… no more sleepovers there. At least till you graduate." He made me promise.

I didn't care what the rules were, as long as I could have Carlisle in my life without upsetting my Dad I was happy. I was told it was Thursday and I was being discharged. Every inch of my body ached still, but Carlisle gave me good pain medicine to take home with me.

Alice had brought me all of my school work, along with a card from my classmates that read 'Get Well Soon." Alice had also brought to my attention that I was being discharged on Thanksgiving. I sighed miserably at that.

Alice and Charlie helped me to the cruiser. I absolutely refused to use a wheelchair. Carlisle came outside to see me before I left. He threw a quick glance at Charlie, who huffed that he'd be waiting in the car.

He stood closely to me and held my hand. His beautiful face made my heart thud wildly. "I'll be by tonight. After Charlie's asleep." He promised. "I need to see you, I've missed your company these past few days."

I smiled sadly at that and held my hand out to smooth through his hair. His amber eyes held mine steadily. "I will miss you, till then." I whispered and leaned in to press my mouth to his. I heard a nurse gasp behind me, but I didn't give a shit. It had been a week since I got to kiss him properly.

His mouth opened slightly to ghost his tongue against mine, but he pulled away quickly. "Take it easy today. Please." He made me promise.

I smiled slightly. "I don't think I'll be partying anytime soon." I joked.

He opened the passenger door of the cruiser for me and held his hand out so I could get in. "I'll come by tomorrow." He said for Charlie.

I nodded as he closed the door behind me. Alice tailgated him all the way back to the house which made Charlie uneasy. "Kids today." He'd crabbed.

When we finally got inside Alice helped me upstairs so I could take a shower. "I'll help you, Bella. It's no big deal." She promised.

I huffed. "I'm fine, Alice. Really." I glared at her intensely before she finally gave up.

"If you need me, I'll be right here." She smiled and pointed to my bedroom door.

I nodded and hobbled into the bathroom and closed the door behind me. I flicked on the light and frowned at my battered reflection. My left cheek was practically black from all the bruising. My hair was so dirty that it almost looked wet. I lifted my shirt and removed my pants carefully and painfully before examining my body. My entire left side was one huge, massive bruise. Wincing slightly, I noted that my ribs and stomach were 3 shades of purple and yellow and my left thigh was more of the same. The sprained wrist throbbed miserably when I took off the temporary cast.

I turned on the shower and let the water warm before carefully stepping inside. The heat soothed my aching muscles, but made my scalp burn. I had forgotten about the scabs from Carlisle removing the glass.

After washing up thoroughly, I got out and promptly put my cast back on my arm. I groaned when I realized I didn't bring clean clothes with me.

Alice popped the door open with a pile of clean clothes for me. "No bra, it's not important." She explained.

I nodded thankfully and shrugged on my oversized tee shirt and sweatpants before brushing my teeth. My Dad had bought Thanksgiving dinner in the form of turkey TV dinners. I smiled widely at the gesture.

I took a pain pill and sat on the couch watching TV with Alice and my Dad for a bit before I realized I was absolutely beat. Alice helped me upstairs and I was asleep as soon as my head hit the pillow.

A few hours later I felt cool, strong arms wrap gently around my miserable form. I sighed contentedly and rolled over slowly to greet him. Carlisle's smooth face regarded me intensely for a moment before he pressed his marble lips against my own. His fingers splayed on my abdomen while his mouth gently explored mine.

I moaned quietly and turned so I could wrap my arms around his narrow waist. "How do you feel?" he whispered.

I groaned. "Like I got hit by a truck." I joked miserably. "How long is it going to feel like this?"

His eyes twinkled in the dim light from my alarm clock. "At least a few weeks, I'm sure." He whispered honestly.

I groaned to myself. "I've really made a mess of things, huh?" I licked my lips unhappily.

He nuzzled my neck sweetly. "I'm actually glad Charlie knows. Obviously, I'm not happy that this happened to you, but it makes me feel infinitely better that we got the 'okay' from your Dad." He explained. "It bothered me immensely that we had to sneak around when I'm so happy to have you." He whispered and kissed my lips gently.

A few traitor tears leaked from the corners of my eyes. "I can't stay at your house till I graduate." I whispered glumly.

He shrugged gracefully. "Then I guess I'll just have to sneak over here, then." His eyes twinkled mischievously. "I will be here every night. As long as you want me." He added hopefully.

I laughed lightly which made my side hurt. "As long as I want you." I repeated sarcastically. "I want you to change me so I can have you forever. Of course, I want you here." I smiled contentedly and wrapped my good arm around his waist.

"I adore you, Isabella." He whispered significantly. I smiled against his cool chest and blinked groggily. I tried to stay awake to spend time with him, but before I could realize it sleep claimed me.

I awoke the next day alone in my bed. I sighed at that, but then remembered Charlie probably woke up and checked in on me before he went to work.

I stood slowly and used the restroom before hobbling downstairs to make myself something to eat. Charlie came home just after 3, and Carlisle stopped by after his shift ended at 4. I'm not sure there was anything more awkward than sitting to eat dinner with my vampire boyfriend and my disapproving Dad.

Carlisle made a show of leaving just after 7. He kissed me gently on the porch and promised he'd return when my Dad went to sleep.

I went back in the house to start the homework Alice had brought me when the doorbell rang. Charlie got to it before I did simply because it took so long for me to get anywhere.

"Let me get her." My Dad said happily as he turned and smiled at me. "Bells! Look who stopped by to see that you were alright." He gestured. Jake ducked under the door frame and I gawked. He was even bigger than the last time I had seen him. "I'll be in the living room, kids. Stay as long as you'd like Jacob." My Dad enthused. I scowled at him as he retreated to the flat screen.

"Hey, Bells." He said worriedly as his eyes roamed over my broken and bruised form.

I smiled encouragingly. "Jake! You cut all your hair off!" I remarked while he shrugged.

"It was getting in the way sometimes." He smiled at a joke that I didn't fully understand.

I nodded. "Let's sit in the kitchen. My Dad's been driving me nuts." I whispered and Jake laughed loudly.

I sat down slowly and miserably while Jake crouched awkwardly on the little kitchen chair. My eyes widened at him. "You've gotten so tall… and muscley." I giggled inappropriately while he smiled.

"I've done some growing up these past few weeks." He frowned distractedly. "How have you been feeling?" He asked.

"Well, you know." I shrugged. "It's all superficial. It'll heal in no time." I hated talking about my accident mainly because I was embarrassed that it was all my fault.

His face went serious. "My Dad heard that the accident happened because you and your Dad had a fight?" He asked gently.

I nodded. "It was stupid. I drove away because I was mad, and there was a ton of ice. Ice doesn't help with the uncoordinated." I laughed and shifted slightly to ease the pain in my hip.

Jake swallowed and his face grew serious. "He also said the fight was because of your relationship with Dr. Cullen?" He probed gently.

I flushed. "I know it's not exactly orthodox or whatever. I had no idea we were going to end up… together. If someone would have told me months ago I would have laughed. Now, I can't imagine myself without him. He's a wonderful man, Jake."

His jaw clenched and I noticed his muscles twitch slightly. "He's rather old for you, isn't he?" He asked coolly.

My blush grew hot and I nodded. "It's not about age, really. I'm sure people will have horrible things to say, anyway." I whispered.

He smirked mockingly. "You see, Bella. I think it is about age. Especially when Dr. Cullen is, what? Four hundred years older than you?"

The blood drained from my face and I sat staring at him dumbly. "W..What?" I asked slowly.

He stood up and loomed over me. "Don't treat me like I'm stupid!" He whispered angrily. "How could you… with not just one of those filthy, bloodsuckers, but two!" He spat at me while my jaw gaped.

I shook my head at him. "I thought you said you didn't believe in those old legends." I said quietly. He laughed sarcastically.

"We could have been really good friends, too." He said to more himself, than me. "I didn't believe in those legends, you're right. Let's just say though, that I've seen the light. I know now what I am and what they are. I am going to need you to remind them of the treaty they made with my family years ago. You tell the leeches that if one of them bites- not kills, bites, a human the treaty is void." He said harshly.

I had no idea what he was referring to as far as the treaty thing went, but I caught his drift when he was talking about the bites.

He meant if Carlisle turned me.

I shook my head defiantly. "If I decide that I want it then it has nothing to do with you."

His entire form shook violently and I got off the chair to back away from him. "How can you say that?" He asked sharply. He breathed deeply and the shaking subsided.

I swallowed. "What happened to you?" I whispered frightened.

He laughed again. "That's rich, Bella. You can date the living dead but you're afraid of me."

"Fuck you." I said bitchily. "How dare you come here to criticize me. You don't know the Cullen's at all. Sure, you happen to know a lot about what they are. You don't know shit about them, though. You're right when you said we're not friends." I pointed to the door as his frame shook again. "Please, leave."

His jaw flexed with the strain of some force I did not understand before he walked quickly out my front door. I jumped as the door rattled on it's hinges with the force he used to slam it. Charlie walked into the kitchen agitatedly.

"Now what did you say to that boy to get him upset like that?" He asked accusingly. "He'd be a wonderful friend for you, Bella. Perhaps even more than that, if you'd get to know him."

My jaw gaped at him. "He was saying some horrid things to me regarding what he thought of me and Carlisle. There are just some things I will not stand, and being spoken to like that is one of them." I tried to stomp up to my room but because of the pain it took me longer than I'd have liked. When I finally got to my room I slammed my bedroom door for good measure. I threw a pain pill down my throat without any water and waited for Carlisle to arrive.

**Sending Reviews makes Carlisle appear quicker. =]**


	12. Chapter 12

**A/N: We broke 200 reviews! Thank you all so much for your kind words, and for adding me to your favorites or alerts. It really does mean a lot to me. I've had a lot of questions and some PM's, so I'll be answering them at the end of this chapter. Enjoy, lovers.**

I heard Charlie's bedroom door shut at 10:15 and sighed tiredly. I tapped my foot restlessly for fifteen minutes before I saw Carlisle pulling my bedroom window open. "Bella? What's wrong?" He asked anxiously.

I glanced at my bedroom door before throwing my hoodie on. "Take me to your house." I demanded.

His eyebrows furrowed slightly. "Bella, I promised him.." He said miserably as he sat on my window frame.

I sighed. "Well, let's go outside, then. I don't want to wake him." I whispered. He nodded before picking me up gently and jumping from the window. He was extremely gentle about it yet I could not contain the grimace from crossing my face.

"I'm sorry about that, Bella." He whispered. His eyes glittered as he looked back up to my window. "It's freezing, let me just grab you an extra blanket too." He was gone and back with a quilt in a flash. He wrapped the blanket around my shoulders gently before I walked through the backyard towards the woods. The moon made the snow sparkle slightly, and I was reminded of how the Cullen's look in the sun.

I turned to face him when we were in the farthest part of the backyard. His eyes were the lightest I remember seeing them and it momentarily distracted me. "Did you hunt?" I asked quietly.

He bit his lip and nodded, the gesture making him look much younger than he was. "You're eyes are so light." I remarked.

He smirked slightly. "You're looking better. Do you feel any better, though?" He asked. His voice was pure velvet.

I nodded before smoothing my fingertips down the planes of his flawless face. If I lived forever I don't think I could get over how absolutely stunning Carlisle was. "I was feeling better, till I got a visit tonight from Jacob Black." I said quietly.

His features portrayed confusion. "He came to see how you were doing?" He questioned slowly. "You look upset. I thought the boy was your…friend." He finished.

I shrugged and looked at him meaningfully. "Alice didn't see anything about the visit?" I pushed.

He shook his head slowly. "No. Bella, what happened? Did he do something to you?" He asked quickly while his jaw set in a hard line.

I shook my head. "Not really, no. He questioned me about my relationship with you. He asked me about how old you were, and I said it wasn't about that. He got angry when I said that, and he threw it in my face that you were 400 years older than me, Carlisle. He told me long ago about werewolves and vampires… I don't really remember the legend that well because I was only listening about the vampire parts." I said honestly.

His eyebrow rose slightly. "We thought the gene was extinct. Apparently, not." He sighed and walked gracefully into the moonlight of the yard. "That tribe has a long memory." He mused.

My brain mulled over what he was saying. "So... Jake is a werewolf?" I asked slowly.

He said nothing, but gave a short, curt nod of his head.

I breathed out, trying to relax my nerves. "And the rest of his tribe as well?" I asked uneasily.

He nodded again, and I shivered slightly. "He told me to remind you of the treaty. That you agreed never to bite a human. Not kill one, but bite one." I said morosely.

His eyes practically glowed the reflection of the moon. "What did you say to him?"

I swallowed. "I was upset, so I told him that if it was my choice it had nothing to do with him." I answered honestly.

He closed his eyes for a moment. "We can deal with this, too." He assured.

I huffed. "How? The odds are just stacking themselves against us! I thought the worst of our problems was what Edward and Esme would think. Now I find out that werewolves exist and hate vampires! Christ!" I laughed bitterly. "Mrs. Beatty told me that I should fight for what I want. I feel like I've been fighting since I got to Forks!" I sat down in a painful heap. "How do I know when, Carlisle? I fought for Edward the entire time we were together, and that didn't work. I see now it didn't work because we weren't meant to be. I was meant for you. You've been mine all along. At what cost though, do I get to keep you?" I asked miserably as tears rolled down my cold cheeks. "Do I force your very family from your company? Would that be enough? Or perhaps alienate my Father from me as well. That should certainly be enough. It's not, though. Now, it's my fate to remain human in exchange for a conflict-free life with you." I sobbed bitterly. "All I want is you." I wiped my eyes pointlessly as the tears continued to pour.

He kneeled gracefully in the snow and pulled me into his lap. I felt several kisses being pressed to my hair before he sighed. "You have me, Bella." He whispered quietly. "You haven't pushed my family away at all. A natural progression has begun, and while our family may be different it is certainly still a family. We will deal with one thing at a time. Your Father will come around, I promise you this. The only solution for mistrust in someone is time to prove your worth. I will prove myself to him, to you." He said encouragingly.

I laughed gently. "You don't have to prove yourself to me." I told him honestly.

He shrugged. "It will be done, none-the-less." He promised. "As for Jacob Black, he can not stop me from making you one of us. If it came down to it I would just take you away and we'd never come back to Forks."

I inhaled deeply and relaxed slightly as his familiar scent washed over me. "I don't want that either, though. I want us to be together without anyone having to lose anything."

His eyebrow rose slightly. "This is hardly a fairytale, Bella. You worry for the people I will lose because of our relationship. You worry about me giving up Forks. What about what you will lose? You will never have children with me. That may sound like a silly thing to worry about now, but Esme left because of it. Because I denied her the right to a family and a human life. Your Father can't stand the sight of me, and he can barely look at you." He frowned slightly and his golden eyes held mine intensely.

I shook my head slowly. "I can't explain to you how lucky I feel to have you. You're the only family I need, Carlisle. I don't want children. I'm sorry, but I don't. What my Dad and the rest of the town think of me is trivial, to say the least. In thirty years when you and I are living somewhere else and I'm like you…" I reached out and ran my fingertips across his lips. "What some Podunk town thought of the love affair between the town doctor and the chiefs daughter will hardly matter to me." I giggled slightly at his gentle smirk. "As a matter of fact, I wouldn't be opposed to us having a repeat of the night in your car in the grocery store, perhaps." I tried sounding seductive, but the blushed that stained my cheeks was far from it.

His eyes lit with amusement. "Or in the backseat of your Dad's cruiser." I laughed loudly at the idea and leaned forward to press my lips against his. His fingers tangled in my hair before his tongue gently swept against my own. Despite the pain I was still in, his taste and closeness made me suddenly eager to be closer.

He laughed gently and broke the kiss. "Let me get you back in your room. It's cold outside." He lifted me gently and ran quickly up the side of my house. One arm held my weight and the window frame while the other lifted the window easily. In one swift movement he kicked out and landed us gently inside the room and placed me on my bed. My eyes widened. "Wow, Doctor Cullen you sure have some talent." I said in my best Podunk voice.

He smiled genuinely before climbing in my bed with me. Taking my covers, he wrapped me tightly before encasing me in his cool arms and kissing me deeply. He pulled back and rested his forehead against mine. "We will get through all of this, I promise you." He whispered.

I nodded slightly. "I know that. Really, I do." I bit my lips and blushed. "I have no idea why I panicked like that outside. All I ask for is your trust in us and I literally freaked out on you."

He pressed the palm of his hand on my thumping heart. "You've been through so much. You're tired and probably in a lot of pain. Jacob told you quite a bit, so it's natural you were overwhelmed." He explained acceptingly. "Have you taken your pain medicine?" His butterscotch eyes flicked over my face for discomfort.

I glanced at the clock and gaped when I saw it was almost midnight. "Uh, yeah. Around 10?" I said uncertainly.

He nodded before taking my good hand in his. "Well, if I see you're having a fitful rest, then I will wake you in a bit for another." He whispered assuredly. I kissed him gently before closing my eyes and breathing his scent deeply. I was moments away from falling asleep when what he said rose a few questions.

I blinked awake and looked at him seriously. His eyes twinkled in the light of my newly installed nightlight. Alice assured me that it would help me immensely. I can only imagine what she must have seen to plug in a nightlight to save me.

"What is it, Bella?" He asked worriedly while his fingers danced gently down my good arm.

I frowned and bit my lip. "Well, you said that if my rest was…fitful…you would wake me. I know that I sometimes…" I flushed deeply. "Talk. In my sleep." I pressed and sighed when I saw the smirk grace his flawless features. "Oh, no." I groaned to myself.

I covered my face with my hand and he pulled it away. "It's nothing, Bella. Initially, when you first started staying at our house after Edward left, you would say his name over and over." He swallowed while I blushed scarlet. "I'm hardly upset by it." He promised.

I licked my lips. "What else?" I pushed him.

He frowned. "Then it turned into you asking for each of us not to leave you. You said everyone's name, apart from Rosalie." He smiled slightly at that and I was certain I must have been blushing with my whole body by now. "It was fairly recently that you started saying my name exclusively. I have to say, Bella. It's sometimes difficult to leave you sleeping." He whispered hotly into my ear. I swallowed thickly as my center throbbed for him. He inhaled deeply and my heart raced. "My reaction to you is so… primal. You've made me question everything I've ever known about passion or desire. You can not imagine how arousing I find you." He promised me while his palm flattened against my heart before cupping my left breast.

My eyes fluttered closed under his ministrations and he laughed lightly. "I can't do this in his house." He whispered apologetically.

I sighed when his hand slid to hold mine again. "So you're not… weirded out by me dreaming about you all the time?" I questioned pointedly.

He shook his head. "I love that I'm on your mind, even while you're not consciously thinking of me. I assure you, my love. You are on my mind and in my heart always. Always." His silky voice concluded while he pressed my hand against his heart.

A few tears fell from my eyes. "I love you, Carlisle. So much." I promised before kissing him gently.

He smiled against my lips. "As I love you, my Bella." I smiled against his chest before the pain medication pulled me into a deep sleep.

The next day went by incredibly slow. Charlie and Carlisle ended up working similar hours, so I was alone the majority of the day. I did all of my homework and managed a decent shower before noticing that Charlie had pulled into the drive-way with Billy pulling in behind him. I groaned at the thought of more prying eyes.

I tried my best to hobble up the stairs before they made it inside the house, but it was no use. I was half-way up when they burst through the door.

"She might very well be sleepin' though." I heard my Dad mumble.

"Well, if that's the case then-" Billy started.

"Oh! You're awake!" My Dad exclaimed and effectively interrupted Billy.

I turned slowly and plastered a smile on my face. "Hey, Dad. Billy." I said politely with a slight nod.

Billy grimaced slightly at my bruised arm and temporary cast. "How are you feeling, Bella?" He asked with a knowing hint in his voice.

I shrugged. "Embarrassed. Only I could total my truck with no other cars involved." I hobbled back downstairs because it was no use trying to be unsociable now.

Billy laughed lightly. "That's the only thing you feel you should be embarrassed about?" He laughed again. My gut heaved with anger while my Dad said nothing to defend me.

I sucked my teeth and nodded slowly. "I don't know what else would be so embarrassing."

My Dad cleared his throat. "Uh. Right. Bells, Billy and I are gonna go fishing, maybe stop at the Lodge first for something to eat. I won't be home till late, so I wanted to see if you needed anything. You want to come with us to eat then I could drop you off after?" He asked and I huffed.

"Absolutely not. You guys go. I already ate anyway." It was a lie, but there was no way in hell I was going to get stuck at the Lodge with the two of them gossiping like old women the whole time. After assuring him a few more times they finally left. I breathed a sigh of relief and went to make myself something to eat.

It was a few hours later when Carlisle appeared at the living room doorway. I had been laying on the couch watching X Files reruns on FX. He smiled brightly at my dejected form before scooping me up and kissing me gently. "How was work?" I asked between kisses. "Did you save anyone's life?"

He smiled genuinely before pulling me to rest gently against his side with one arm draped around my waist. "No, no one almost died today. So it was a good day." He said with a chuckle. "The X Files?" He asked with a wry smirk on his face.

I flushed. "This show was really good." I defended before planting a kiss to his ribs. He shrugged underneath me.

"It certainly was ahead of its time." He agreed. "How do you feel today?"

"Sore." I answered quickly. "Better than yesterday, though. I was thinking of asking Alice to help me get back to school. Sitting around here all day is horrible."

His chest rumbled slightly with laughter. "You should relax. Wait at least 2 more days before going back to school. I assure you that walking around school for six hours will not help you feel better." He promised.

A groan escaped my throat and he laughed again. "I wish I worked a different shift so I could be here with you." My fingertips danced against his cool, marble chest.

"I'm alright, Carlisle. You don't have to worry." His fingers wove through my hair gently before I sat up to look at him. He was wearing a black long sleeve thermal today, and his narrow waist and broad chest were defined perfectly in it. I tore my eyes away from his amused amber ones before glaring back at the television to see what Mulder was doing.

"Why are you frowning?" He asked playfully which only made me scowl harder.

"You look so, so sexy right now. And everything that's connected to my body hurts right now. So I can't do anything about it." I said miserably.

A short, loud chuckle burst out of his perfect lips. "You always manage to surprise me, Bella."

I bit my lip and stared at his perfect features again. "Did you look like that when you were changed?" I asked distractedly.

His jaw opened and shut a few times. "More or less. Although I could have had a little meat on me." He bit his lip and patted his stomach suggestively. I laughed at the gesture. "When the change completes, it will have fixed all problems your anatomy may have. If you're overweight, it will burn the fat. If you're vision is poor, it will be perfect after. The more things that are wrong with you though, the longer the change will take. The average is three days. Esme took four because of all the broken bones she endured." He explained gently.

I nodded in understanding. "What's the most incredible thing you've ever seen?" I asked randomly.

His eyebrows rose slightly before he smiled. "Aside from you, I would have to say the Aurora Borealis."

I flushed at the compliment which earned me another smile. "The Northern Lights?" I wasn't positive it was the same thing.

"Yes." He smiled wider. "It's glorious to behold when you're human, I'm told. You can't imagine how intensely beautiful it is when your vision works like ours does. We don't get cold, either. We can just sit in the snow and watch the lights indefinitely. The colors are the most vivid of anything I've ever encountered." A small smile graced his lips. "Perhaps someday you can join me to see them." He said hopefully.

My heart thudded wildly. "There is nothing in this world I want more than to see that with you." I said seriously. "Maybe it could be my 'Welcome-to-Vampirehood' present." I suggested.

He laughed. "I thought you hated presents." He said with a smile.

I nodded. "Usually, I do. Spending time with you under the Northern Lights though… I don't think I can pass that up." My heart sped slightly as I pictured it. We'd never get cold, so could that mean Carlisle could sit around with his shirt off? I sure hope so.

I bit my lip and flushed. A small smirk graced his features as he wrapped his fingers around the pendant he gave me and played with it. I looked up into his face to see he was miles away, so he was playing with the pendant absently. I marveled for a moment over that.

"Does it take great restraint for you to be with me the way you are?" My voice was just barely a whisper, yet his eyes snapped to mine.

He licked his lips slightly. "Usually its no effort at all for me to be gentle. I perform surgeries and save people when others with a less delicate hand would have killed the patient. My entire purpose in this life was to learn restraint and to be immune to our more primal urges. I have to admit to you, Bella… You've brought out some of those emotions that I've worked so hard to suppress." He paused for a moment and his eyes darted to my mouth. "As of yet, though, I've been able to maintain some semblance of the man I was instead of the vampire I am. When the time comes for us to be intimate, I would hope you could tell me if I had lost myself." I frowned slightly at what he meant.

I sat up slightly and winced at the pain in my side. "Do you mean when we have sex?" I asked bluntly while he nodded. "Do you mean that you want me to tell you if you're hurting me? Because you'd…be in the moment?" I asked slowly.

He nodded again. "As I've said before, it's incredibly easy for me to be myself around you." He whispered honestly.

I took in his solemn expression and nodded. "Of course, I'll tell you if something is wrong."

He smiled sadly. "I feel terribly for having to ask that of you." He sighed.

I shook my head. "Why? I will never hold it against you for being a vampire. I may not always understand the vast differences between us, but I can appreciate how much strength you have to be able to do what you do. It's one of the many things I love about you, actually."

The smile that lit his face could have brought me to my knees if it wouldn't have hurt so badly. "Once again, you prove the maturity you possess is well beyond your years."

I shrugged. "My Mom always said I was a middle-aged teenager." I said with a giggle.

He smiled widely again before his eyes darted to the door. "You're Dad's home." He whispered. "I've got to run by the hospital for a few hours, anyway. I will be back later, though. I promise." I nodded as he pressed a gentle kiss to my lips. I smiled when I felt the rush of air as he ran through the house.

**Question 1: Do we find out Edward and Esme's story any time soon? _Yes, though it won't be through anyone else's POV other than Bella's. I may write a one-shot through someone else's POV later though._**

******Question 2: If and or when is Edward coming back? _You'll have to see. If I tell you, it'll ruin it. haha._**

**Question 3: Why doesn't Bella just move out? _It'll come up in a later chapter, but essentially its because Carlisle will change her after graduation. That gives her 6 more months with her Dad and then she'll never see him again. _**

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	13. Chapter 13

**A/N: Hello, All. Thank you all again for your reviews and adds/favoritedness. It's amazingly encouraging to me, I assure you. This chapter as well as the next two were incredibly difficult for me. IDK why, it just was. I was hesitant to post it, but I think its ready. Sorry for the delay with it, but I think the everyday-posts won't be happening anymore. Possibly once a week. I started Summer classes and theres just no time, lovers. Enjoy.**

The next few days went by slightly slower than the previous ones. Carlisle had been working nights because the night shift doctor went on vacation. Which left me sitting at home alone, most days.

The first week of December came, and Carlisle agreed to give me the papers to return to school. I had squeaked at him and jumped in his arms when he told me I could go back to school. My dad had scowled hard about it.

The bruising was still evident, though it didn't hurt quite so badly anymore. The scabs on my scalp had all mostly healed. My wrist was the only thing that still gave me serious trouble, but the cast helped immensely.

Carlisle still came to visit twice a night. One time in front of Charlie, the other while he stayed with me when I slept. It was getting harder and harder to be near him and ignore my body's extreme reaction to him. There was a constant fire that he had ignited within me, and he knew it. However, being with me in my Dad's house was not something he was about to encourage.

All the more reason for me to try getting out of the house faster.

I rode with Alice my first day back to school. I hadn't been up at 7am in a few weeks, and I could appreciate the cool wintry air coupled with the busyness that accompanies mornings. I sighed happily while looking out her sporty window.

Her cat-like gaze flicked to me while a smirk played on her lips. "Haven't been out of the house in a while, have you?" She asked knowingly.

I smiled slightly. "You know every move I make, why are you asking?"

She bit her bottom lips and shifted the car into the next gear. "You miss Carlisle." She said simply. "I know you're still in pain. I also know you're dealing with it so you can be with him without your Dad nearby." She said matter-of-factly. I flushed slightly under her knowing gaze.

I shrugged lightly. "Sure, I am going back to school to get out of the house and see him again. Whether I sit at home and be miserable or sit at school and be miserable, what's the difference?" I asked annoyed.

She waved a graceful hand through the air. "Today will be a trying day for you, Bella." She said with a small voice.

I didn't have time to grill her about it because we had pulled into the school parking lot. Despite our unfinished conversation I immediately understood her meaning.

Uncountable pairs of eyes stared into Alice's car as we pulled up. My mouth gaped as I realized I was going to be the proverbial bug under a glass all day long. If not all year.

Alice squeezed my hand gently before opening her door, then my own. I accepted her open hand when getting out of the car, and didn't make a fuss when she insisted on carrying my books for me. I could hardly focus on anything but the revulsion I noticed in everyone as they looked at me.

How could I forget that this would happen? Perhaps it was not too late to ask Carlisle to move away with me, after all.

"Bella, you can't just move away." Alice said quietly. My eyes darted to her and I gasped out a breath I had been holding.

"Why not?" I asked with irritation evident in my voice.

"Because it would upset him to know that something as trivial as what high schooler's think of you would influence something as important as moving away." She stated simply.

I sighed and glanced at my first period class door. "If it gets to be too much today, please help me." I said miserably.

She smiled and nodded. "I'd never leave you suffer." She promised before placing a cool kiss on my cheek and dancing to her class. I sighed again before entering.

Because of the bruising, it took me quite a while to get from point A to point B. Therefore I had been the last person to make it to my first class.

Twenty seven students stared at me when I walked in. No one said a word, either. No one asked how I was, or said welcome back. I shuffled past everyone to my seat and grimaced slightly at the pain in my hip. Fucking school chairs.

Mike Newton had yet to take his eyes off me despite the class officially starting. I faltered slightly under his scrutinous glare. I shifted slightly but managed to make it through the class without incident.

The rest of the day went similarly, and I was growing tired of it already. Jessica Stanley made no effort in hiding her distaste about my life, and she spoke openly about it with Lauren Mallory.

At the end of our final class of the day, I stood slowly and waited for everyone to leave the classroom before I did. As I hobbled out, I noticed Jessica and Lauren whispering to each other conspiratorially next to the door.

Lauren giggled rudely. "Oh, Isabella! We had to talk to you." She said with a smirk.

I nodded and bit my lip in anticipation. "Yes?"

They leaned together and giggled again before Jessica looked at me meaningfully. "Is it true? You're dating Doctor DILF?" She asked while Lauren giggled loudly next to her.

I sighed. "It's true, I'm seeing Carlisle." I said through gritted teeth. "That's all I'm going to say about it." I promised. I tried my best to hobble past them, but they blocked my way.

"Wait!" Lauren giggled. "So, what happened? Were you taking it from Dr. Daddy the whole time? Or was Edward just not enough?" She laughed loudly while Jessica doubled over from laugher.

My hands shook violently and my vision blurred with tears. "It was never like that!" I argued futilely. "That's what I hate about Podunk towns. No one minds their own fucking business!" I yelled haughtily.

Jessica raised an eyebrow at me. "You wanna talk about Podunk while you're doing your ex's daddy?" She laughed and Lauren laughed harder.

I shook my head and tried to walk past again, but they wouldn't let me. "Y'know, Edward was fucking sexy, but I think you're right going after Daddy C." Lauren said viciously. I fucking hated all their pet names for him, and they were about to know it. My heart thudded wildly and my fists balled themselves involuntarily.

"It doesn't matter what you think." I managed. "Get out of my fucking way."

Jessica sucked her teeth. "Does he like it when you wear a nurse's uniform? Or is he more into playing Doctor/Patient?"

"I think she told you to get the fuck out of her way." I heard a low, angry voice call from across the hallway.

Jessica and Lauren turned quickly and my jaw gaped when I realized it was Rosalie.

Her perfect eyebrows rose slightly and her jaw tightened. "I came to pick you up. Alice had to leave with Jasper earlier because he…wasn't feeling well." She concluded. I nodded mutely while her intense gaze flicked back to dumb and dumber.

"My adoptive father's name is Carlisle. Not Doctor DILF, not Daddy C, not Doctor Daddy… Get it right." She whispered menacingly. Jessica and Lauren blushed furiously while their jaws hung open comically. "If I ever hear that you've spoken to Bella like this again, I will personally make sure to handle it myself. Am I clear?" She asked darkly. Her voice was clear and precise as a bell. There could be no mistake.

I swallowed nervously while Jess and Lauren stammered stupidly. Rosalie's designer shoes clicked over towards me while she took my arm in hers. "Let's go, Bella." She said brightly. I tried my best to keep up with her steady stride, but my side hurt too much. Her eyebrows knit together and she glanced at me. "Oh, I'm sorry." She said seriously. "You should have told me to slow down. I just… had to get the fuck out of there. God damned bitches!" She muttered angrily.

I had yet to say anything to her when she opened her shiny, red BMW's passenger door for me. I climbed in slowly and she shut the door behind me. I watched as she walked briskly around the front of the car, her blonde curls bouncing in the wind. Her back stiffened and she turned back to the school to cast one last death glare at Jess and Lauren who had just come out the door.

She threw herself in the driver's seat before the engine purred to life and she whipped out onto the street. "I'm sorry it took so long for me to get there." Her voice was genuine.

I sputtered slightly. "I thought everyone believed you and Emmett were in Dartmouth?" I asked slowly.

She shrugged, a small smile forming on her blood red lips. "I don't really care, honestly. I'm glad it was me that came. Alice wouldn't have told them where to bang off." She shook her head and smiled wider before looking at me mischievously. "Doctor DILF is really funny, though."

I smiled back at her and we shared an inappropriate giggle about it. "Thank you." I said after a moment. "For helping me back there." I explained at her confused glance.

She licked her lips and tapped her fingernails on the steering wheel. "I may not always understand you, but I can respect you. Edward was a total dick to you. Yet you stuck by him until he left. Your devotion to my family is flattering, to say the very least. I love Carlisle immensely, and you must believe me when I tell you he has not been happy in a very long, long time." She said seriously.

I frowned at that, but she continued. "At first I was uneasy about the two of you, but I spoke with Jazz about it and I get it now." She said conclusively.

My brain worked hard to keep up with her train of thought. "What do you mean?" I asked dumbly.

Her eyes lit with amusement. "Oh, he was saying that the emotions between you and Carlisle have always been there. Since the beginning. They were just… subtle." I flushed slightly at that. "I hope you can forgive my… unforgivable attitude regarding you. I never meant to be quite so horrid. I thought it was going to be you that tired of us, that hurt Edward…to my surprise it ended up being him. It was deplorable what he did to you. To take his love into the woods and leave her there." She shook her head and my stomach clenched at her words.

"I forgive you." I said mildly. "I want you to understand how much I love Carlisle. He means everything to me. Your entire family does." I promised.

She smiled again, and the distinct contrast between the white of her teeth and the red of her lips startled me. "I know that, Bella." She laughed loudly. "Doctor DILF." She repeated as she turned into her driveway.

I hadn't been paying attention to where she was driving, not that it would have mattered. We were going so fast I'm not sure I would have recognized the scenery anyway. "My Dad.." I started.

She squinted at me. "Charlie said that you couldn't sleep over. Not that you couldn't visit. He'll get over it. If he doesn't, then the chief can…" She trailed off but jerked her fist in a crude manner directly in front of her lap.

I laughed loudly at her doing that, and realized we were going to get along just fine.

I made my way up their front steps slowly, letting out a little sigh of disappointment when I noticed Carlisle's car wasn't there. Rosalie frowned. "He's working until 4." She said with a wink. I flushed slightly and jumped as the front door swung open. Emmett smiled widely before stepping outside with his arms wide for a bear hug.

"Don't!" Rosalie yelled while holding his jubilant form away from me. "She's broken right now, play nice." She said seriously.

His smile faltered slightly before he hugged me ever so gently. I smiled into his broad shoulder and wrapped my arms around his massive form. "Hey!" I said happily.

His laughter rumbled through my chest. "Our little Bella! Getting better by the day! I've been practicing the Wii everyday." He said before letting me go and wrapping his arms around his wife.

I scowled slightly. "Because you really need to practice." I said sarcastically. He laughed happily before waving my shivering form into the house. Alice was sitting on the sofa with Jasper, her face a mask of concern. His hand was tucked inside her tiny ones, and she was speaking softly to him.

I frowned slightly at the display before Alice turned to me apologetically. "Newton sliced his hand open in our last class." She said simply.

Oh. That's why they left so quickly. Jasper had a lapse again in his…control. I swallowed and tried to ignore my fluttering heart. Alice frowned at me slightly before a small smile cracked on her lips.

I sighed. "Would it be alright if I were to talk to him for a moment? Alone." I clarified.

Emmett frowned, but nodded at me before taking Rosalie's hand and going upstairs. Alice beamed at me before standing up and kissing my cheek. I waited until she was upstairs before sitting on the far end of the sofa he sat on.

"Jazz." I said quietly.

His dark eyes flicked to me, and he swallowed tightly.

"Is it…alright that I'm here right now?" I asked slowly while my heart raced.

A short huff burst out of him. "You're so frightened you can hardly stand it." He said miserably. "I don't know why it's so hard for me to get over this… phase. I make it so hard for my family." He said bitterly.

I shook my head. "Jazz, please. This isn't your fault. Not one person living in this house, or even in Forks could understand what you've been through. What you've seen and done. Life is easy for people when it's been easy from the beginning. It's coming out of the darkness that's hard." I whispered.

His eyes rested on my face and he sighed. "Why is it you can be so forgiving? You've lost so much in regards to me." The self-loathing in his voice made my heart ache. "Don't feel sorry for me, I despise it."

I flushed at him. "I can't help it. I feel sorry, but not for the reasons you might think. I don't want you to think I've lost anything because of you. It's not the case at all. I've never been happier than I am right now. You know that." I said pointedly to which he gave me a short nod. "Never apologize for what you are, Jasper. You are a vampire. You've been through hell in the past, and now you're reconciling for it. You struggle harder than the rest of them, and for that I respect you. Don't give up, or get annoyed with yourself. It's not worth it. When something happens, like you take a snap at me or Newton… just think about all the times where you didn't." I said encouragingly. "You fight your very nature to be around humanity. It's an incredible feat no matter how long you've managed it."

A small smile graced his angular features. "Bella, you're very kind." He said softly.

I smiled sadly. "If anyone should be sorry, it's me. I hate that I make things difficult for you when you're in your own home."

His small smile lit up slightly. "Never apologize for what you are, Bella. You are a delicious smelling human." He said with a smirk.

I laughed and flamed red. "Touché." I said with a grin.

He laughed loudly and I smiled wider at him. What an unusual day this had turned out to be.

**I got a new PM asking me if Edward and Esme were together. I mean no offense to anyone, but NO. NO NO NO. UGH! It had never even occurred to me. Esme is a SERIOUS mother figure to me. and Edward is sexy and therefore not into his mother figure. nopppee.**

**REVIEWS ARE BETTER THAN DELICIOUS SMELLING HUMANS.**


	14. Chapter 14

**A/N: Hello, all. Thank you all for your reviews for previous chappies and favoritedness and adds. I love it so much. haha. I know I said that it would be once a week updates, but this chapter as well as the previous one were ONE chapter originally, I just broke it up because the size was outrageous. Some complained of lack of Carlisle in the last Chapter, so I think this half of it will make up for it. ;)**

After a few games of Mario Party with Jazz and Emmett I heard the familiar purr of Carlisle's Mercedes pull into the drive-way. I handed my controller to Alice before jumping off the couch and hobbling to the door. For whatever reason, sitting to standing hurt like a bitch still.

I walked out onto the porch in time for Carlisle to get up the steps. He stopped and a smile broke across his face. "I thought I was hallucinating the smell of freesia." He whispered.

I smiled widely and threw myself at him. I wrapped my arms around his neck tightly and pressed my lips to his in earnest. He growled slightly, and before my mind could register the movement we were upstairs in my bedroom. He laid me gently on the bed while his body hovered over mine. "Bella, it's been so long." His silky voice was darker than I'd ever heard it and I panted under him.

"It has." I agreed huskily. I rubbed my thighs together and my center throbbed at his deep inhale. A small, sexy smirk graced his features while a tendril of his golden hair fell into his now dark eyes. My mouth watered when I realized he was still wearing his lab coat. "Doctor DILF." I mumbled to myself with a smile. It may have been immature, sure. But fuck me if they weren't dead right about it.

He froze immediately while his mouth formed a surprised 'O'. "Uh. Forgive my confusion but I believe you just called me Doctor DILF?" He asked unsure.

My body flamed red and I nodded. "I heard that one today at school." I said simply.

He smiled widely before a short laugh managed its way out. "You agree with the assessment?" He asked seriously while a filthy little smirk lit his face.

I bit my lip and nodded. "I think so." I said in the same serious manner.

He smiled widely as I wrapped my legs around his narrow waist suggestively. There was certainly some pain, but it was so, so worth it. My eyes rolled back into my head when I felt his cool length nestle against the apex of my thighs. "Ugh!" I yelled as he slid against me, gently but sinuously. My blood was boiling in my veins. I needed him terribly.

I reached between us and gripped him through his slacks and his hips bucked against mine. Letting my fingers slide down the length of him, I watched his features closely.

His eyes positively glittered at me while a low, low growl emitted from deep in his chest. "Take them off." I suggested.

In an absolute flash, his pants were gone and he was kneeling between my spread thighs. He wasn't wearing boxers today, but grey boxer briefs. I reached out and quickly fumbled the buttons of his blue button down before pulling it open to reveal his perfectly defined chest and stomach. He went to shrug the shirt off but I stilled him with my hand.

"Don't." I said while a blush flamed on my cheeks. "Leave it on." I said suggestively while glancing at his lab coat. His eyes darkened even more and the growl increased in volume.

"My, my Bella I had no idea." He smiled temptingly before he pulled the drawstring on my sweatpants. Clearly, I hadn't really tried hard to impress anyone today.

He leaned back and slid them down my legs and I blushed again as he went into serious Doctor mode. He frowned slightly while his fingers danced over my battered hip. "Does it still bother you?" He asked apprehensively.

I shrugged. "When I get up from sitting down. That's the worst." I whispered softly.

He nodded before he slid my thermal up and over my head. His jaw worked slightly while he inspected my miserable form. In most other cases, something like this would have been awkward, but it wasn't. I found his concern incredibly arousing.

"If you believe it, you're healing quite well, actually." He said before smiling again.

I nodded while his hands slid up my sides before grazing over my exposed breasts. My nipples hardened instantly under his touch.

"Your body is so responsive to me. I absolutely love it." He assured me. "Did you not wear a bra to school?"

I shook my head. "It still hurts. Especially the under wire. So I wore a big hoodie all day." I said with a laugh. He smiled again before leaning in to capture my lips with his own. His length nestled against my center while his fingertips teased my nipples. I sighed into his open mouth while his tongue traced my lips hotly.

I tried my best to shift my hips against him, but he was pressed so firmly against me that it was not possible. My heart thudded wildly inside my chest while my body was set on fire under his ministrations. He flattened his palm over my breast while his mouth worked down my jaw and my neck.

I cried out when his cool mouth encompassed my other nipple, and I was certain I was going to pass out. I chanced a glance between us and nearly finished right then. His pale palm was working my left breast while his mouth devoured my right one. His broad shoulders were still covered by his pale blue button down and his white lab coat. Carlisle Cullen. M.D. it said over his left breast pocket. I followed my eyes down his gorgeous chest and down his stomach which was rippling with the effort to keep his weight off me. I panted slightly when I noticed the distinct V of his abdomen pointing suggestively at the long, thick length that was contained in his boxer briefs.

"Carlisle, please!" I moaned out of sheer frustration to get to touch him. He smiled around my nipple and tilted his head so he could watch my face.

He poked his tongue out and swiped it over the nipple before blowing out over it. The coolness of his breath coupled with the sensation of it almost pushed me over the edge. A fresh wave of lust shot through my body and his hand slid down to cup my heat.

He pressed against the apex of my thighs with his cool fingers and I cried out at how wonderful it felt.

"May I?" His silky voice pleaded while gripping the sides of my underwear. I nodded quickly and licked my parched lips. His cool, gentle fingers slid the sides of my underwear down slowly and I noticed he had taken to breathing through his mouth. I flushed slightly and raised my leg to help him remove the offending boy shorts.

He swallowed while his eyes devoured my now entirely naked form. I shivered slightly under his unwavering gaze and he smiled. "The perfume of your skin…I can't even begin to explain it to you, Bella." He said with awe in his voice. In one quick movement he was kissing the inside of my knee and working his way up the inside of my thigh. To my complete embarrassment, he spread my legs wider and breathed deeply.

"Don't be embarrassed." His dark eyes glittered up to mine before he leaned in and licked a bead of sweat that had built in the valley between my breasts. A low growl vibrated through his chest and he licked his lips. "You are so, so beautiful." He whispered meaningfully.

His cool fingertips danced back down the inside of my thighs before he palmed my naked sex. I threw my head back and gripped the sheets with my good arm. "Carlisle!"

He smirked slightly before his fingers slid easily inside me. I was more than ready for it.

The sensation was beyond Earth shattering. My thighs quaked with the force of my first orgasm of the night, and his smile faltered slightly before he leaned down quickly and pressed his mouth to my sex. His tongue caressed my bundle of nerves quickly while his fingers curled deep inside my body. My fingers went from gripping the sheets to gripping his hair. I pulled his face to me enthusiastically, and cried out as his tongue moved against my heated flesh far quicker than a human would ever be able to.

His other hand moved up my torso to tease my breast, and before I could understand it I came so hard I literally blacked out. My heart raced while my center throbbed around his digits. I gulped air into my lungs and babbled to him about how amazing he was. He smiled against my oversensitive flesh and turned his head to kiss the pulse point in my thighs.

I sat up slightly and leaned on my elbows to watch as he kissed his way up my torso. He made sure to kiss every single bruise along the way. I giggled lightly and ran my fingers through his tousled blonde hair.

He kissed me deeply, and the taste of me on his lips still managed to arouse me again. "I want to touch you." I whispered hotly into his mouth while I tugged meaningfully at the elastic of his boxer briefs.

His dark eyes widened slightly. "I don't want you to cause yourself pain." He whispered.

I laughed. "I'll be in more pain if you don't let me touch you!" I said huskily while I palmed him again through his thin boxers.

He shuddered slightly while his hips rocked into my palm. "A-alright." He managed. "If you have pain I want you to stop, please." He said politely. I smiled at that. Even in a situation like this he was still amazingly well mannered.

I was having none of that.

"Lay down." I requested politely. He smiled and complied quickly, his right arm resting casually under his head. My heart pounded wildly as I watched him for a moment. Trailing my gaze down his perfectly toned chest and stomach, my mouth went completely dry as I straddled his thighs. His eyes darkened again and I could not put it out of my mind that I was almost sitting on his lap completely naked.

I inhaled deeply while I pressed my fingertips in the crease of each muscle on his stomach. A smile graced my lips when the low growl started again inside his chest. I traced my index finger inside the mouth-watering V muscle of his abdomen and leaned over him to follow the path of my finger with my tongue.

His skin tasted wonderfully, like the way he smells only intensified. I moaned my approval and smiled when I felt his length twitch against my breastbone. I linked my fingers in the elastic of his boxers somewhat awkwardly because of my cast, and pulled them down to just under where I was sitting on his thighs.

His cool, long length bobbed slightly, and I was suddenly nervous. He was absolutely stunning, in every single way that a man could be. He had plenty of experience, and I had never seen a man completely naked before in my entire life. I breathed out and trailed my fingers down his length gently, and smiled as his eyes fluttered closed.

"You are so warm, Bella. It's amazing." He said with a sigh. I breathed a sigh of relief myself. At least he was enjoying himself.

I bit my lip and wrapped my fingers around him tightly before giving him a firm tug. His eyes snapped open and his hips flew off the mattress while I was still sitting on him. "Fuck!" He yelled loudly while his growl increased in volume.

We bounced gently on the bed and my eyes widened. "Is this okay?" I asked to be sure.

He laughed encouragingly. "By God, Bella. It's perfect, why do you ask?" He asked uncertainly.

I tugged him again, some-what more gently and smiled as his eyes fluttered closed. "I've never done anything like this before." I admitted in a whisper.

His pure, amber eyes held mine steadily while I pumped him again. He swallowed while his length twitched in my hand. "You've never…?" He asked slowly.

I pumped quicker and steadier and his body tensed rigidly while his stomach muscles rippled. "I've never done anything, ever before you. Besides kissing, of course." I said before the temptation of the smell and texture of him became entirely too much for me to resist. In one, swift movement I shifted myself lower and licked him from base to tip. My mouth watered at the taste of him while his back arched off the bed.

"Isabella!" He growled huskily. I smiled slightly at his reaction before sliding my mouth over him entirely. I relaxed my throat slightly, and took note of how far I could go before it became uncomfortable. I bobbed my head gently before swirling my tongue over the tip of him and sucked harder. His entire body was quivering with restraint, and I fucking loved it.

I wanted to see Dr. Carlisle Cullen lose his legendary control. I released him with a slight 'pop', before wrapping my fist around him again and swallowing him as deeply as I could manage. I kept my fist tight as well as my lips around him. In a few synchronized strokes he was vibrating again.

I lightly grazed my teeth over him and hummed gently. His hips bucked wildly under me while I heard something that sounded like the tearing of fabric. I wasn't about to stop to see what happened.

I worked faster and smiled around him as I realized I had done it. His body vibrated under mine while his back arched intensely. Onyx eyes glittered back at me as I held his gaze while I slid my lips over him slowly.

The growl had increased more, and my center ached for him. With my bad arm I took over holding his length so I could slide my good hand between my own legs to ease the tension I was feeling.

"Oh, fuck." He sighed intensely. I bobbed my head over him quickly while I rubbed myself furiously in time with my ministrations.

His thighs quaked and his stomach clenched. "Bella! I've got to!" He tried to move me away, but I was having none of it. I slid my fingers from inside of me to grip him again, and he came hard into my mouth.

I gagged somewhat because I didn't know what to expect, but it hadn't been bad at all. At the taste of him, I came hard too, for the third time tonight. My body pulsed as I licked him clean. He wrapped his fingers around my good wrist that had just been buried inside me and wrapped his lips around them, cleaning them for me.

I crawled up his naked form before collapsing against his chest. His arms wrapped around me, hugging me to him recklessly. "You've never done that before?" He questioned breathlessly through a chuckle.

I shook my head against his chest sleepily. "Can't say I have." I mumbled before sitting up to look at him. His eyes had some flecks of gold returning to them and I smiled. "I suppose I did alright, then?" I asked knowingly.

A cool arm wrapped around my torso before he kissed me tenderly. "By God, Bella. It's as if you were made for me. Inside and out." He said huskily.

I swallowed at the intensity of his gaze and he smiled. "I like that idea. That I was made specifically for you." I said happily.

He smiled wider. "I absolutely adore you, Isabella." He promised.

I laughed happily. "As I love you, Doctor DILF."

It was a few hours later and we were all playing the Wii downstairs. Emmett had heard everything Carlisle and I had done and made sure to get a few super good blushes out of me because of it. I sighed before glancing at the clock.

I frowned. "I have to head home." It was after 11, and I knew my Dad would take a shit if he knew I was still at Carlisle's house.

Alice smiled widely. "Let me take you home, then." She said happily while Carlisle scowled slightly. "Oh, stop it. You're going to climb in her window in 48 minutes anyway." She said knowingly.

I giggled before handing my controller to Jasper. "See you guys later." I said with a wave to the others. I walked over to Carlisle who looked somewhat dejected. "See you in 48 minutes." I said quietly.

"Actually it's 46, now." Alice corrected.

Carlisle and I shared a laughed before I pressed my mouth to his greedily. Carlisle gripped my face to his before we broke the kiss so I could breathe. "Till later, then." He promised.

I nodded before walking out of the house dreamily while Alice squeaked with delight for us.

**Once again, Reviews make Dr. DILF come out to play.**


	15. Chapter 15

**A/N: howdy, all! Thank you all for so many positive reviews and adds and favorited things. It makes me happy! So, SO happy. For real. I hope everyone's weekend was good, I personally had a long one. And not in the good way. These chapters keep getting longer and longer. haha I don't think anyone's offended by that, though. There's also been a shit ton of new readers, and that rocks my socks off. beta'd by no one but me, and I don't own anything. Some PM questions answered after the chapter.**

The next week went by surprisingly without incident. While I had not returned to work yet, school was at least tolerable. Jessica and Lauren had avoided so much as looking at me thanks to Rosalie.

I did not make it over to the Cullen's house at all after the night with Carlisle. Miserable as it was to be dropped off at home because of Charlie, I dealt with it. If Carlisle was seriously going to change me when I graduated, then that meant I was only going to be spending about 6 more months in his company before I'd never see him again, ever.

The thought of it made my stomach hurt and tears form, but it wasn't enough to stop me from still wanting to be a vampire. Carlisle still came over every night, though he absolutely refused to do anything other than kiss in my Dad's house.

On Friday, Carlisle finally agreed that my temporary cast could come off my wrist. I was infinitely happy to see it go, as it meant I could return to work. Carlisle insisted that I wait until Monday to return to work because he had plans for us over the weekend.

"My Dad will never allow me to go out for the weekend, Carlisle." I whispered into his ribcage.

He shook his head. "I'll have you home at night." He said despondently. "They will be day trips, I promise." He said with a smile.

The following morning I was surprised to see Alice bouncing in the center of my room. I jumped up out of alarm. "Whats..?" I asked groggily while wiping the sleep from my eyes. I scanned the room for Carlisle, but he was gone.

"He had to go into the hospital early this morning. Mike Newton has appendicitis." She said knowingly.

I laughed lightly. "Okay. That sucks for him. What are you doing here at…" I glanced at my alarm clock and groaned. "Six Thirty? Alice!" I bitched.

She laughed and the sound was like wind chimes. "Oh, Bella. We have some things to do today." She bit her lip and danced to my desk to sit on it. "We're going Christmas shopping." She said with a happy bounce.

My stomach turned slightly. "Oh, yeah." I said miserably. I had completely forgotten that Christmas was in less than 2 weeks. I hadn't bought anything, for anyone yet.

"Tonight I will ask your Dad if it's alright that you join us to get a Christmas tree for the house. You can help us decorate it." She smiled widely.

I bit my lip and got out of bed. "Give me a moment." I asked politely. I used the restroom quickly before brushing my teeth and taking a quick shower. Thankfully, the bruising was now mostly splotches of yellowish purple instead of dark blue and purple. I got out of the shower and wrapped a towel around my torso before heading back into my bedroom.

Alice had already laid out a gorgeous red cashmere sweater that had an off the shoulder neckline that folded over. She paired it with a pair of black skinny jeans that fit like a glove. I sighed happily at the strapless bra that actually fit and worked like it was supposed to.

"Amazing!" She said happily from the doorway after I was done dressing.

I smirked slightly. "As if you had no idea it would look nice." I said sarcastically.

She shrugged gracefully. "So. Have you given any thought as to what you want to buy Carlisle?" She asked brightly.

I sat down unceremoniously on my bed. "I don't…" I groaned and licked my lips. "I can't buy him anything that he doesn't already have." I whispered softly while running my fingers over the pendant he gave me.

Her delicate eyebrows knit in confusion. "I can think of something he'd like very much. It wouldn't cost you a dime, either." She smirked knowingly. "I know you want to, as well." She hinted more.

I blushed hotly. "Alice! That's not a… Christmas gift!" I said quickly.

She smiled gently. "I think it is. We could get you… ready for that. It would be perfect for the two of you." She said happily.

I sighed. "I do want to… be closer to him." I said vaguely. "Could he handle it though?"

She laughed. "He has plenty of control, Bella. He's been with human women before."

I frowned. "Yeah. He told me." I whispered somewhat jealously.

She glided over to sit with me on the bed before taking my hands in her tiny, cool ones. "Is it that you think you'll disappoint him?" She asked quietly.

Obviously, but I was unsure if I should admit that or not. "I know I will."

Her jaw opened, then closed. "You can really be absurd, Bella." The words were harsh coming from her, but she said it gently.

I let out a frustrated huff. "Am I? He's almost four hundred years old. He's been with human girls, as well as vampires who were all probably not virgins. I had never even seen a mans…" I flushed at the thought and grew angry at myself for being so damned innocent. "Ugh. Forget it." I got up off the bed quickly and moved to leave the room but she blocked the door with her tiny frame.

"Bella, it hasn't bothered you before. Just the other night you did… uh… fine." Why was it that I kept forgetting they could hear everything I was doing in their house? "Plus, I already told you. We are going to get you ready, so it won't be so traumatic." There was a hint of mischief in her voice that made me unsure, but I still nodded.

'Alright." I said begrudgingly.

After eating some cereal and making myself a cup of green tea to go, we were on our way to Port Angeles to Christmas shop. I had no clue as to what I was getting for each of them, but Alice assured me that I was going to find something for everyone today.

She parked her car smoothly against the sidewalk, and I groaned at the enormous crowd of shoppers. How stupid was it to wait till two weeks before Christmas to get anything done?

She linked her arm in mine and we walked into a Game Stop. I frowned at her because I was unsure what we were doing here. Until my eyes landed on Super Mario for the Wii. I knew immediately that Emmett would shit over it, so I snatched it up. One down, five to go.

After an hour of rummaging through stores and sore feet, I stumbled on the first season of True Blood for Rosalie. It still amused me greatly that she liked it as much as she does. Especially considering the vampires were completely wrong.

In the same store, I snatched up Band of Brothers for Jasper. Every time it was on TV I caught him watching it, so I thought if he could see it from beginning to end he might like it better.

It was later, in a Macy's that I found the perfect gift for Alice. She had wandered off to get some of her own shopping done when I put together a charm bracelet for her. There was a magic 8 ball charm, a shoe, a 'best friends' charm, and to my intense surprise I even found a little coffin charm. It had nothing to do with anything, but I thought it was hilarious.

After the cashier gift wrapped it, Alice came dancing over. "I already love it." She said with a knowing smile.

I frowned and gave her a pointless, playful shove. "Damn you, magic 8 ball!"

After a quick stop at a subway so I could eat something, we made our way over to a bait shop so I could pick out a new fishing pole for Charlie. I grabbed the one that the cashier said was the best for the price, and we moved on to our next stop.

After a short walk, we stopped in front of a salon. "Don't be upset. It's just better this way." She said with a wink.

I said nothing, but the grimace on my face conveyed my emotion quite clearly. We walked in slowly while Alice told them I was there for a wax. My eyes widened. "Alice!" I whispered bitchily in her ear. "I'm not fucking waxing my…" I blushed and gripped her tighter. "He's already seen me, anyway."

Her eyes lit with amusement. "All the more reason to surprise him, then. If you do it now, it'll still be perfect for Christmas." She promised.

After a moment of deliberation, I finally agreed. It was by far the worst experience of my life. The only thing I could think of that may have taken the cake more was the incident with James. The pain in my crotch was so intense I literally cried. Thankfully, it only took a few moments before the lady assured me I was done. After glaring at Alice, we finally left the torture chamber and moved on to get my other gift for Carlisle.

I was hardly surprised at all when we stopped at a Fredericks of Hollywood. "Something emerald green. He adores that color on you." She said with a smile.

I frowned slightly, but was actually kind of excited. I rummaged through the racks before finding the perfect slip. It was emerald green satin with a black lace see-through stomach and back. The length ran straight to the floor, but had a slit that went up the side of my left leg all the way to my hip. I smiled genuinely. He was going to adore it.

She nodded with a smirk on her pink lips. "You got it, Bella."

I winked at her. "Not yet, I haven't."

When we got back in her car I was surprised to see it was only one in the afternoon. "Wow! We got done quickly." I marveled.

She shifted gears and flew down the highway. "See why I was at your house so early?" She laughed at my blush. "Besides, Carlisle told you he had plans for the two of you, did he not?" She asked.

I licked my lips as we pulled into her driveway. She got out, opened the trunk and blurred into the house. My jaw hung comically for a moment at her speed before she came back outside to close the trunk. "Well! I didn't want them to see anything we bought them!" She explained.

I laughed loudly before we headed into the house. Oddly, there was no one in the living room or the kitchen. Alice frowned slightly before closing her eyes and focusing. "It smells like… dog." She breathed deeply and frowned harder. "..and burnt vampire?" She whispered and my arms broke out into goose bumps.

My heart thudded wildly as panic filled me. What if something happened to them while we were gone? Alice frowned at me before her eyes darted to the back yard. "They are in the woods, I can hear Emmett." She said. "Stay here, Bella." She said quickly before blurring out the back door.

"Wait! Alice!" I called after her. She was already long gone, but I still chased after her. I ran out the back door and tore through the trees as quickly as I could manage. My sore hips flamed with pain, but I ran forward. I ran until my lungs burned and my heart thudded so quickly I could feel my pulse in my fingertips. I slowed my pace and eventually stopped. There was no telling where they were, or how far out she ran. Just because she could hear Emmett did not mean he was within walking distance. I lurched forward and panted hard to try and catch my breath. What if something happened to them? How would I ever even know?

My torso shook with a sob that never made it past my lips. "Bella." Carlisle whispered before picking me up and hugging me to him. "What are you doing out here?" He asked while his lips pressed a kiss to the hollow of my throat.

"Alice." I managed to choke out. "She said she could smell a burning vampire. What happened?" I asked while trying to regain my breath.

He grimaced before holding me tighter to himself. "I will take you to them, but Bella you must stay quiet. Please?" He pleaded.

I could not manage a verbal response, so I just nodded. With my agreement, Carlisle flew through the trees towards the rest of the family. Despite the few times I had done this with Edward, I was still not used to the speed they could run. In a few cold, eye-watering moments, he set me down. I hobbled slightly out of dizziness but Carlisle wrapped his arms around me protectively. I gripped his waist before looking around at the situation before us.

"It's because of you!" Alice sang accusingly. "I can't see anything when your tribe gets in the way." She said quickly with a delicate finger pointed at… Jake?

He was standing in the small clearing with his arms folded over his bare chest. He shook with laughter before turning to Sam. "That's the best news we've gotten. The fortune-telling leech can't see our futures." Sam and Jake shared a laugh before they turned their attention towards the woods. My mouth hung open when I noticed the five giant wolves standing in the brush around my family. "Did you hear that?" Jake asked them.

Carlisle gripped me tighter to himself. "We already told you, we were not friends with the Vampire you… encountered." Carlisle explained. Clearly, I missed some of the conversation.

"Who?" I asked quietly. Carlisle sighed before Jake's eyes landed intensely on me.

"Bella!" He said in mock enthusiasm. "Still with Daddy Cullen, I see." He shook his head and sucked his teeth. Sam smiled widely.

"Enough with the stupid jokes, Jake." I said irritably. Jake rolled his eyes dramatically.

"It was the vampire with the dreads." He finally explained.

My stomach turned when I realized who he was talking about.

I swallowed numbly. "Laurent?" I asked meekly.

Jake's eyes narrowed on me before Sam spoke. "How is it Bella knows of him while the rest of you act like you don't know him?"

Jasper growled. "We never suggested we did not know him. We simply told you that we had nothing to do with him. He was here on his own accord. You can hardly blame us for every nomadic vampire that crosses through our town." He argued doubtfully.

"What about the red head? Did you know her?" Sam asked accusingly.

My vision blurred and my stomach clenched painfully. My fingers gripped Carlisle's waist tightly while my knees buckled. "Victoria." I whispered.

Jake's eyebrows furrowed. "Are you alright?" He asked with mild concern in his voice. I nodded and Carlisle gripped me tighter to himself.

"We ran into the red head, Laurent and another vampire almost a year ago. They were passing through and took a liking to Bella. We did our best to protect her, and the town from their carelessness. My family shredded James before the other two disappeared. We tried looking for them to end the madness before it started again, but we could not find them." Carlisle explained softly.

Jake laughed lightly. "Well then, forget it. You guys killed one, we killed two. Score for us on our scoreboards." He said with a smile.

I frowned. "Wait." I stepped away from Carlisle to look at Jake. "You're telling me you killed Laurent and Victoria?" I asked slowly.

Jake and Sam laughed while the wolves in the bushes shook with what I assumed was laughter as well. "Yeah." He said while shrugging. "It was nothing, either. They've never seen a werewolf before. We could tell."

My heart leapt with relief at his words, and before I could stop myself I had walked across the small clearing and wrapped my arms around Jake's huge frame. "Thank you, thank you." I babbled.

His face portrayed surprise at my outburst, but he wrapped one arm gently around my shoulders. "Uh. Were you that worried about them?" He asked uneasily.

I nodded vehemently against his chest before stepping away from him. "Yes. Actually." I looked back to my family to see they were all wearing surprised faces. I looked back up at Jake then at Sam. "So thank you. The Cullen's didn't know them personally." I explained.

Jake nodded before glaring at Carlisle. "Has she reminded you of the treaty, then?" He asked coolly.

I sighed. "Please, Jake. Don't do this." I whispered pleadingly.

He laughed. "It's already done, Bells."

"She did remind me, yes." Carlisle's smooth voice answered. "Does it still stand that if one of us were to bite her elsewhere in the world that we could not return to Forks, ever?" He asked slowly.

Jake's jaw tensed and relaxed. "So that's it then? You'd never come back here again in exchange for the leeches?" His eyes pinned mine and I frowned.

"I would." I whispered.

He shook his head and smiled brightly. "Yeah. It still stands then. If something goes wrong though, and you kill her… Or she kills an innocent, you need to remember that makes the treaty null. We'll find you. Wherever you are." Jake promised in a hard voice that made me shiver slightly.

I nodded numbly and walked back over to Carlisle who encompassed me in his cool arms again.

"Was that all, then?" Carlisle asked politely.

Jake made a face and looked to Sam who shrugged. "Yeah." Jake said while scratching his stomach. "I guess that's it, then. Remember you can not change her here. And you can never, ever come back here after it's done. Don't force our hand by killing anyone, either." He said seriously.

I smiled despite myself. "I'm not going to kill anyone, Jake."

He grinned widely. "Come by the res sometimes. Before you're…" His eyes darted to my family before resting back on me. "You know.." He said vaguely.

I laughed. "I don't know, Jake." I said sadly.

He shrugged before stepping back into the brush with Sam. "Well, I still have your clothes that you covered me with that night on the beach. Thanks for that, by the way." He said with a smile.

I nodded. "It was nothing." I promised. "I'll come by sometimes to get my stuff."

He nodded and gave a short wave at me before he grilled the Cullen's one more time. To my complete astonishment, he shook slightly before bursting into a huge, reddish-brown wolf. There was no morphing, it was entirely too fast for that.

My eyes were wide as I waved at him while he turned to run in the other direction. Sam and the other wolves followed behind him closely.

We stood there in the clearing for a few moments before Carlisle spoke. "That went amazingly well." He said with a chuckle.

I turned my eyes back to him and smiled genuinely. "They caught Victoria." I said with relief.

Jasper grunted. "They were wearing their pride like a cheap cologne. I could hardly stand it. I'd have caught that slatter eventually." He said with a drawl.

I quirked an eyebrow at him while Carlisle scooped me up on his back. "Slatter?" I questioned.

He smiled shyly. "Y'know. A whore?" He asked. "That's what we used to call her type in the South." He said with a wink. I laughed loudly and kissed Carlisle's neck.

"It's a shame. Damn it." Emmett bitched. "I wanted to get her. The score is two for the mutts and one for us now. Shit." He said while kicking a boulder into the bushes.

I laughed at his outburst. "Em, I don't care who got the slatter, just as long as she's gone."

Jasper laughed again. "Amen to that, sister."

**A/N: What is a DILF? _It is a Dad I'd Like Fucking. haha I'm sorry I never explained it. blahh sometimes I think things are general knowledge. I suppose that's definitely not the case. Sorry again!_**

**Also, I got a few comments about her blood pressure in the third chapter? I stated i was NO doctor. It was all taken from a site online. It's fiction for a reason. If blood pressure inaccuracies upset you, but a story about vampires and werewolves doesn't, then what else can I say.**

**REVIEWS ARE DILF WORTHY LOVE.**


	16. Chapter 16

**Howdy, all! Sorry this took a while. Fathers's Day weekend was busy for me, I'll tell you. Once again, thank you all for your kind words and adds. It encourages me to do better. A few PM messages answered after the chapter! Enjoy.**

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After another quick, chilly run through the woods Carlisle carried me upstairs to the fireplace in his study. I groaned with pleasure at the heat of the fire against my bitterly cold skin.

Carlisle laughed gently behind me before plopping us down on the sofa. He planted several kisses to my hair before I twisted myself to sit on his lap. I ran my fingers through his smooth hair and tilted his face up so I could admire him better. His golden eyes flicked over my face before he wrapped his hands around my waist and kissed me deeply. His flavor made me moan, always like cinnamon and vanilla.

He rested his palm over my racing heart before he broke the kiss gently. "I know I asked you to stay quiet, but I'm very glad you didn't." He said seriously.

I smiled against his lips before kissing him again gently. He shifted my legs slightly so I was straddling his thighs before running his cool finger tips over my exposed shoulders. "This sweater is lovely." He said while his eyes darkened slightly.

I giggled and shifted my hips so I could rest directly over his arousal. "Really?" I asked sweetly before pulling at the folded-over neckline. "I'm a little worried because at any moment this could just… fall down." I smiled mischievously and he laughed.

"What ever happened to my innocent Bella?" He asked with a smirk.

I shrugged. "You." I said seriously.

He nodded and held me tighter to himself. "Fair enough." He reasoned. "You smell like a dog, though." He said with an embarrassing sniff to my shoulder.

I shrank back and glared at him. "Excuse me?" I said bitchily.

He bit back a smile. "Jake. You hugged him." He reminded me while his jaw set in a hard line.

I narrowed my eyes at him. "What does that have to do with anything?"

"He's a werewolf. To us, they smell like wet dog." He said with a mild grimace.

A short, surprised laugh worked it's way out of my mouth. "Well, that's… something." I finished lamely. A wicked idea came to me then and I smiled seductively. "If I smell so badly, then perhaps I should take a bath." I whispered huskily before pressing my hips against his again.

He growled lowly and I smiled against his neck before kissing it. He swallowed and nodded. "Perhaps you should, and maybe I could… help you out." He growled. A fresh wave of lust shot through me and I panted against his mouth.

He smiled and inhaled before grinding my center over his length again. "Bella." He said silkily.

I pressed myself to him again, only harder before I ran my tongue over his bottom lip. "Please, Carlisle." I moaned against his mouth.

In a flash, he had scooped me up and we were moving. He sat me down on the bathroom sink before he quickly set the controls for the water temperature. I rubbed my thighs together while I waited for him, and smiled when I realized he was rushing.

Once the tub was full, he shut it off and swiftly moved to stand between my parted legs. "Carlisle!" I yelled while he ground himself into my center before pulling my top down to expose my strapless bra. He fingered the material of the bra for a moment before he growled and tore it easily.

"Christ!" I moaned before his head dipped to pull my nipple into his cool mouth. I wrapped my legs around him tightly and his hips bucked against mine a few times.

"You are a vixen, Bella. I assure you." He growled while palming my breasts. I couldn't manage a thought as he reached quickly to remove his shirt. "By God, I can taste you in the air." He said with a growl.

I flushed slightly and threw my head back as his mouth devoured my breast again. If I didn't get him in the tub soon I was going to faint.

Just as I was sure my skin was going to ignite under his deliberate touch, there was a loud knock at the door.

"I know you aren't naked, Bella. We have to wrap our Christmas gifts." She said pointedly.

I groaned and panted while Carlisle's eyes darted to the door irritably. "Alice, are you fucking kidding right now?" He asked irritably.

My eyes widened at his language before a fresh wave of lust rocketed through me. Clearly I liked it when Carlisle was a little more feral.

He inhaled sharply and his gaze locked on mine. "Because I said fuck?" He said with a chuckle.

My mouth gaped while I felt my head nod of its own accord.

"I know you didn't just ask me if I was fucking serious!" She yelled. "Bella. I'm not kidding. I'll come in whether you want me to or not." She said seriously. I didn't doubt her for a moment.

I sighed at Carlisle's scowl. "I did promise her." I reasoned miserably.

He grunted before stepping away from me. "Alright." He conceded. "Now's not the time, apparently." He smiled gently before kissing me some-what chastely. "I ran a bath, if you'd like to use it before joining her, please do." He encouraged. He stooped forward to pick up his shirt before pulling my top back up to cover my breasts. "Sorry about your bra." He said seriously and I laughed loudly.

"It was so, so worth it." I giggled. He smirked a filthy, little smirk before leaving the bathroom. After taking a bath, alone, I threw on a tank top and flannel pants that Alice had thrown me before heading to her room. Before I could get to the door, Alice pulled it open and yanked me inside.

"Hey!" I protested irritably. She shoved a notebook into my chest and I frowned at her before looking at it.

-You can't let him see your Christmas gift yet! For God's sake Bella. It's only a week and a half away. I'm going to talk to him tonight, but you have to promise me to keep it to yourself until then!- The note said.

I scowled miserably at the paper, but nodded my head. "I promise." I said vaguely.

She beamed at me and hugged me to her. "Let's wrap some gifts, then. Jasper and I are going hunting tonight so he will be alright tomorrow when we go pick out a Christmas tree." She said happily.

I smiled. "You're serious about that? Do you always decorate for Christmas?" I asked while she pulled out all our bags and set everything on the floor. She yanked out a variety of wrapping paper, ribbons, bows, tags, you name it, and set everything on the floor.

"We always do. Every year." She said with a wink. I sat at the opposite end of the presents and we wrapped in silence for a few moments.

"Don't think because I'll be out of the house for the night that you'll get away with anything." She said with a scowl.

My eyes widened. "Of course not! Maybe he thinks that, but I know we won't. I'll probably have to be home by midnight, anyway." I said with a frown while I taped Alice's gift closed.

She slapped a gold bow on the top of her gift to Jasper. "Charlie won't be awake." She closed her eyes and smiled. "He's drinking pretty heavily with Billy while watching the game. You could stay the night if you wanted." She said with a warm smile.

I giggled. "Well, maybe I will then." I shrugged before shaking the wrapped box that contained Alice's charm bracelet at her. "Just because you know what this is, doesn't mean you get to open it." I said seriously.

She bit her lip and smiled shyly. "How on Earth did you know?" She said with a giggle.

I laughed at her admission. "I just know you I guess."

After we wrapped everything and shoved it back into her closet, she met Jasper downstairs where he was playing Wii with Emmett and Rosalie.

"Are you ready?" Alice asked softly.

Jasper stood up and threw his remote on the sofa. "Of course, Darlin'." He drawled. "Emmett and Rosalie are going to join us." He said with a smile.

Alice scowled. "If it's because they think Bella and Carlisle need some privacy, then don't." She said seriously.

Rosalie huffed. "What are you, Bella's personal chastity belt now? Let them do their thing!" She said bluntly.

I flushed. "Good Lord!" I interrupted. Emmett giggled inappropriately and I sighed. "Go hunting. Don't worry, Alice. I promised and I was serious!" I said while crossing my fingers over my heart.

"The fuck?" Rosalie asked again.

Alice groaned. "Let's go. Now." She said while pointing to the door. The others made their way over to it some-what reluctantly. "Remember." She said seriously while tapping her head. I laughed while Emmett scowled trying to figure out what was going on.

I nodded and crossed my fingers over my chest again. She smiled and waved before closing the door behind them.

I waited a few moments to be sure they were out of hearing range before sighing loudly.

Carlisle laughed behind me and I turned to him quickly. "What's Alice trying to keep me from knowing?" He asked with a mischievous glint in his eyes. He stepped toward me purposefully and I swallowed. His hair was in complete disarray, and a few tendrils of blond hung in his eyes. He had never gotten around to putting his shirt back on after our romp in the bathroom and I practically drooled at how low his jeans hung on his hips.

I licked my lips and stared intently at his sexiness. "You know how she is. Who knows." I said dismissively while tugging his belt loops roughly.

The phone rang and I jumped a foot in the air before groaning. Carlisle laughed and picked it up off the coffee table. "Hello?" He asked for the hell of it.

I could hear Alice chewing him out from where I was standing and I sighed.

"Of course. I promise." He said with an eye roll. I laughed and he grimaced. "No, Alice. She'd never laugh at you." I laughed again and he gave me a dubious look. "I'm hanging up now." He said quickly before pressing 'End'. I sighed as he pulled me to him. "Let's watch a movie, then?" He asked.

I nodded against his cool chest and he sat us on the couch. He grabbed a blanket and threw it over his cool chest before pulling me against his side. I sighed happily as we relaxed for a moment and he flipped through the channels.

"What's your favorite color?" I asked randomly while I ran my fingertips down his exposed chest.

"Green." He said with a smile in his voice. "Yours?" He asked.

I shrugged. "I think I have to say amber." I blushed and he chuckled under me. "What was your favorite food when you were human?" I asked.

He was silent for a moment. "I think it was butter cake. I can't remember what I liked about it, though." He said while rubbing my back gently. "What's yours?"

I smiled against his ribcage. "That's easy. Fettuccini Alfredo."

He sucked his teeth. "That stuff smells awful. But most cheeses do I suppose."

I nodded and bit my lip. "If you could live wherever you want, where would it be?" I asked.

He thought for a moment. "I…bought an island." He said with a hint of embarrassment in his voice. I sat up quickly and gaped at him.

"You what?"

He shrugged. "Alice dabbles in the stock market and I've been a Doctor for over two hundred years. We have the money to buy a small, little island." He said dismissively.

I huffed. "Oh, of course. Just a little island." I said with a laugh. "Okay. If you own it, then why don't you live there all the time?"

His eyes darted away from mine momentarily. "There isn't enough…wildlife to support the family there." He said with a shrug.

I bit my lip. "Oh." I shifted again so I could lay on him. "Tell me a human memory. Anything." I asked quietly.

He ran his fingers through my curls and hummed. "I remember my Aunt's home. It's quite terrible that I can't remember her name, but that's no never mind I suppose." He whispered clearly. "She had a huge oak tree in her menagerie, and some of the servant's children were climbing it. I was so jealous that I could not climb it because my Mother told me we were going to Church afterwards and I mustn't dirty my trousers." He said with a thick English accent. I smiled widely at him and he continued. "Well, my Mother was having tea with my Aunt, and I was encouraged by one of the boys to climb it. I remember climbing much farther than the others could. I was so high up, and I remember how the sun looked as it poured through the green leaves." He said distantly. "My Mother caught me in the tree and startled me, and I fell. I tore my lapel and trousers quite thoroughly. She was so angry she told my Father. That's as far as I remember. It's funny though, how I still feel terribly about disappointing her. Even after all this time." He mused.

I smiled against his chest and kissed it. "That's you, Carlisle. You're just wonderful enough to still worry over disappointing your Mother. Even almost 400 years later." I said sincerely.

He laughed and squeezed me to him tighter. "I love you. I know you're aware, but I genuinely do." He said softly.

I smiled widely and splayed my hand over his chest. "Don't feel like you say it to much. I love you as well. I'll never tire of hearing it." I promised.

He licked his lips. "May I ask you a question?" He asked almost shyly.

I nodded. "Anything."

"Do you think your mother would approve of me?" He asked doubtfully.

I sat up abruptly. "My Mother would probably disapprove initially. There is no doubt in my mind though that once she got to know you, and see the kind of man you are, that she would love you." I said seriously.

His eyebrow rose. "Do you miss her?" He asked me quietly.

I nodded and bit my lip. "Of course. She's never in the same place for long, though. I email her every week to tell her how I am, but she's kind of… an airhead?" I said with a laugh.

He smiled before sitting up and kissing me gently. "Scatterbrained is the word I believe you used to use." He said with a smirk.

I shrugged. "She's moved on, and that means from me as well." I said quietly.

He frowned before pressing his lips against mine fully. I opened my mouth for him and stroked my tongue against his gently. His eyes fluttered closed and I sighed into his mouth. I twisted myself so I could straddle his thighs, but only because there wasn't enough room to lay next to him on the couch.

He kissed me deeply while his fingers tangled themselves in my hair. I sighed contentedly over him and moved the blanket over so I could run my fingertips over his bare chest. "I want to know everything about you." I said between kisses. He smiled against my lips.

"That would be quite a bit, my love." He chuckled.

"We have the time. Everyday for the rest of our lives, I want you to tell me something about you that I didn't know. Eventually, I'll know everything." I smoothed my fingers over his nipples and he groaned before devouring my mouth again. I shifted slightly so I could rest over his growing arousal.

"Bella…" He growled.

I giggled and gripped his face to mine so I could kiss him as deeply as I dared. In a few moments, I broke the kiss so I could breathe. He didn't stop kissing me though, and his mouth descended down the column of my throat. "Ugh!" I groaned and pressed my hips to his harder.

The phone rang again and we both sighed. "I'll get it." I said irritably. I reached over to the end table and snatched the phone off the coffee table before aggressively pressing 'talk'. Before I could put the phone to my ear Carlisle smiled mischievously before palming my breasts through the thin material of my tank top. "Carlisle!" I moaned before pressing the phone to my ear. "Alice, we weren't doing anything, I swear." I said through a giggle as Carlisle swept his tongue over my erect nipple through the tank top.

No one said anything on the other end of the line. "Alice? Hello?" I said distractedly. She probably had shit service and couldn't yell at me because of it.

"Who is it, my love?" Carlisle asked while nuzzling my neck.

"I think it's Alice. Hel-"

"B-Bella?" A clear, musical voice asked. My heart dropped and my breathing rasped. I looked down at Carlisle who frowned at my heart rate increase and breathing. My world stopped and tilted before I gripped Carlisle's hand tightly.

"E-Edward?" I gasped out. The line went dead.

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OH EMM GEE! Yeah, it's getting left like that for a bit. Cuz I'm EVILLL.

**I had a few questions both in PM's and comments asking if Bella was going to get pregnant. The answer is no. I hate that it happened in the books, and I hate it now.**

**I also had a few complaints about how Jake was so dismissive of Bella's choice to become a vampire. In my story, she never got that close to him. She was ALWAYS a Cullen girl, Jake was never more than an aquaintance. It makes it easier for him to let her because he never got the chance to fall in love with her like in the books. Yes? I think so.**

**Also, the treaty is kinda different in my story. I made it that way on purpose so I could keep Jake out as much as I can. The wolves are not the story line, here.**

**Reviews are loveeee.**


	17. Chapter 17

**Howdy, all! What amazing reviews I got for the last chapter! haha even with an evil cliffie! Thank you all so much, it really does mean a lot!**

Several things happened at once. Carlisle sat up abruptly while the phone slipped through my fingers. I breathed out a choked breath while the phone clashed against his chest and the battery fell out.

The front door swung open and Alice was at the side of the couch in a split second. Her features were drawn into an expression of guilt, though I had no idea why. If anyone were to feel especially guilty about anything, it should be me.

I squeezed my eyes shut as Carlisle rotated me around so he could get off the couch. I leaned forward and pressed my fingertips to my eyes until it hurt. Crying would solve nothing.

"Why didn't you…" Carlisle grimaced at Alice before palming his face in a very human gesture.

Alice huffed while picking up the battery and flicking it back into the phone. "I did see it, Carlisle. I tried calling, but the line was obviously busy." She said with a grimace. "I saw him make the decision to call here the second he did. He was passing by a telephone in Mexico and decided to call the moment he did. I had no time to warn you. He heard you with her, though he's not sure he has the context of it right." She said vaguely while her eyes were miles away. "He can't decide if he wants to come back or not right now." She said quietly.

I stood up and paced the room. My breathing was labored and it felt like someone had poured electricity into my veins. I wrapped my arms tightly around my torso to keep my heart from beating out of my chest. My heart was immensely conflicted as to how it should feel. On the one hand, I wanted him to come back. For reasons I wasn't even really sure about.

Then, equally I wanted him to stay away. I had finally managed real happiness in my life, and his returning would no doubt change the dynamic between Carlisle and I. My chest heaved with the thought of losing my beloved.

I raised my glassy eyes to the door to see Jasper taking me in, trying to feel out my emotions about everything.

I was sure it was no help, because I wasn't even sure how I felt. I cringed when I realized all of the Cullen's were watching me, and I turned to run up the stairs to my room. I did not bother turning on a light when I closed the door.

Sitting on my bed with the lights off wouldn't prevent them from knowing what I was doing, but it made me feel minutely better anyway.

Edward. I had spoken to him, even though it was for a moment.

He heard Carlisle. I struggled to remember the conversation we were having while he was undoubtedly listening on the other end of the line. A broken sob gargled out of my throat. "Carlisle." I whispered through it, knowing he would hear me.

No sooner had I finished his name, he walked in the door hesitantly. Just looking at him made my chest ache with grief.

He grimaced when he saw me, and looked immensely hurt. "Jasper said that you're feeling… regret." He whispered brokenly.

My jaw gaped open while my tears poured down my face. "Please, don't do this right now. I just… can't." I said overwhelmed.

He winced at my words before looking away from me. His position was one of defeat, and he leaned against the door dejectedly. "Bella, if he returns and you take him back…I swear I would cause no hard feelings. I said before that I would take you as a friend than not at all." His jaw clenched while his shoulders slumped.

I shook my head. "Don't you understand, Carlisle? I feel regret about hurting him. This…" I gestured to Carlisle and I with my hand. "This… will hurt him. As much as he hurt me, I never wanted to do this to him. I know that it would be done eventually… but he should have found out more respectfully than this." I whispered harshly. "How dare you try to give up on me. How dare you doubt my feelings for you!" I said accusingly while my heart throbbed inside my chest painfully.

In a movement that was too fast to see, he had taken to standing in front of me in the dark room. I watched him closely as his jaw relaxed and his eyes flickered in the dim light. "I don't doubt you." He promised in a hushed whisper while his thumb brushed away the torrent of tears on my face. "I just…" He sighed before looking out towards the window, then back to my face. "I don't want to cause you hurt, ever. If you chose him over me, then so be it. I love you enough to let you go." He said sadly.

I stood up and slapped him, hard. My hand tingled painfully and his jaw gaped at me. "Don't you think I've had enough of people loving me enough to leave me?" I exploded. My heart hammered in my chest and I sobbed. "You've already done this to me once. Will you do it again, then? Extricate yourself from my life so that when he comes back it's easy for him? I don't want him! If I did, I could have forced one of you to help me find him. I would have hunted him down. With Alice, it would have been easy to find him. I've been the happiest I have ever been with you. I love you. So much that I ache when you're not there. I would fight for you, for us." I sobbed.

He swallowed and nodded gently before wrapping his cool arms around my torso. "I'm sorry, Bella. I only want things to be easier for you. You mean more to me than you could possibly imagine. Of course I want you. I will always want you, love you. I hate that you're so unhappy right now, though." He whispered into my hair.

I gripped him to me desperately. "You told me this wouldn't be a fairytale. Promise me, promise me no matter what he says, or how much you think I'll be happier without you, that you won't give up on us." I whispered while gripping his shirt in my fingers tightly.

He gasped out a tearless sob. "I promise you, as long as you want me, I will be here."

I sighed miserably and inhaled his sweet, comforting scent. "I regret hurting him. I regret causing this unavoidable rift between you and Edward. We have to get a hold of him and tell him. He has to know the truth because we were honest enough to tell him. And Esme." I reasoned. "But I will never regret you, Carlisle. How you and I went about this, is regrettable. We can fix it, though." I said as reassuringly as I could.

Just as I said it, there was a knock at the door. "Yes?" I whispered brokenly.

Alice stepped inside the dark room and flipped on the lights. I winced at the adjustment and noticed she looked pensive. "I can't reach him." She said simply. "I see him make the decision to come home, then change his mind. He thought briefly of the Volturi.." She whispered before her eyes darted to Carlisle's.

I thought hard about the words familiarity. I frowned and glanced at Carlisle for an explanation and gasped at the expression he wore.

His face crumbled before he covered it with his palms. He sobbed brokenly, tearlessly, for a few moments before he took a staggered breath. "He can't, Alice. It would be my fault."

I suddenly remembered. The night of my party, Edward telling me of the Volturi. 'You don't irritate the Volturi unless you want to die… or whatever it is we do.' Edward had told me.

I cried as my heart thudded wildly. My vision darkened slightly and my stomach turned. "He wants to… die?" I whispered quietly.

Carlisle winced at my words and shook his head. "Please, watch for him. If you find you see him in a place where we can contact him, make sure to do it. Or let me know so I may." He pleaded with her.

She nodded enthusiastically. "Of course, Carlisle. I am so sorry for not seeing it sooner…" She whispered.

I walked to her quickly before throwing my arms around her tiny neck. "Don't blame yourself. We can fix this. It won't end like this for him. Or us." I promised.

She smiled genuinely. "I managed to find a deer close to the house, but the others haven't found anything yet. Perhaps you should join them, Carlisle? I will sit with Bella and keep an eye out." She said while tapping her temple again.

He bit his lip and nodded at her. "Give me a moment with her first, please." He requested politely.

She smiled before leaving the room and closing the door.

He turned to me and his golden eyes burned into mine. "I am sorry for confronting you like I did. I should never have jumped to conclusions. You are young still, and I would forgive you of anything. Anything." He promised. "Still, I never want to lose you. I hope you don't believe that I want to give up on us. It isn't the case at all. I want at least an eternity with you, if that's alright." He said with a hint of an accent that may have been English.

I smiled through watery eyes at him. "I'm so sorry I slapped you." I sobbed out miserably. "Oh, God. I really hit you." I blushed hotly and tried to cover my face with my hands. He wrapped his long fingers around my wrists and stopped me.

I chanced a glance at him and his lips quirked into a small smile. "It hardly hurt, Bella. I deserved it. I don't encourage that sort of thing, but I certainly deserved it. I should promise you every day that I will never give up on you. I want you to depend on me to make things right. Promising to give you up is the most undependable thing I've ever said to you. You're right that I've already done it to you. I will never, ever do it again. No matter what happens, or who disapproves of us, I will love you and fight for you till the end of time. I swear to you, my love. My Bella." He whispered.

My traitor tears leaked from my eyes as his mouth descended on mine. The kiss was gentle and sweet, his tongue gently grazing against mine. Learning. Promising. Loving.

I gripped him to me tightly and my heart pounded at the energy that passed between us every time I touched him. It was familiar, and surprising at the same time, every time.

It was home.

I sighed as he broke the kiss and smiled. "We will find him, and we will fix this. I swear it." He promised again.

I nodded and returned his smile before he gave me another lingering kiss. "Jasper's at the door and he wants to speak to you." He whispered.

I nodded as he turned and opened the door for him. They exchanged a knowing look and Carlisle clapped him on the shoulder before he turned back to me.

"I will see you tomorrow, my love." He promised.

I smiled and nodded at his retreating form before Jasper stepped inside my room and closed the door. I noticed he kept his distance from me as he walked to the other side of the room to lean against the window frame.

"I want to apologize for the hurt I caused between the both of you. I recognized guilt in you, and I also recognized hope." He said quietly. "I jumped to conclusions about that as well, seeing as how I can read emotions but not pinpoint their exact cause." He drawled.

I shrugged while folding my arms against my chest. "It's nothing, Jazz. I am not upset." I promised him.

He shook his head and smirked. "It is, though. You've been especially forgiving of me. And the first chance I get I tell Carlisle you regret him. How horrid of me." He said disgustedly. "The love I feel between the two of you… I know it's genuine right down to my toes. I can feel it. It's earthy, and deep. I know it's an emotion… but that's the only way I can think of to explain it. Sometimes, people feel things like anger or happiness and it's fleeting. Like a little ripple in an otherwise smooth pond. Sometimes the anger is stronger, and it feels like a riptide inside me. There's none of that uncertainty with you two. It just… is. It always will be, too. When the love or happiness is the calm pond, you have nothing to worry about. Things will disturb the water from time to time, but it'll always be a pond. Does what I'm saying make sense?" He asked with an embarrassed quirk of his mouth.

I laughed brightly. "Yes, it does. Thank you for saying that to me, too. It makes me feel like we can get through it. Even though I feel like this situation is like that riptide you were talking about." I said regrettably.

He smiled again. "It sure is. May I ask, now that the others are out of hearing range… what was the hope for?" His eyebrow quirked into his tendril of curly hair that rested against his forehead.

I sighed. "I don't know. I guess I wanted Edward to come home. Some small, ridiculous part of me thinks that I could keep him as a friend. I was hoping that, anyway." I said while flushing slightly.

He chuckled. "There's nothing to be embarrassed about, Darlin'. I can't tell you things will be fine. They almost never are." I frowned at him and he smiled. "Eddie certainly loves you, though like I said… he hasn't exactly figured out how. When he does, there's no doubt in my mind you'll have him as a friend. As a member of the family again." He drawled.

I smiled and stepped towards him involuntarily to give him a hug before I though better of it. He smiled widely before stepping the few remaining steps and wrapping his arms around me gently.

It didn't escape my notice that he held his breath before doing so, but I smiled widely none-the-less.

He stepped away and swallowed tightly. "I must be going. I'll see you, Bella." He said quickly before stepping out of the room.

"Thank you, Jazz." I said quietly as he nodded and walked briskly away. Clearly he and I had to work on that together.

Alice peeked her head in the room and I sighed. "I don't know that I'm in much of a mood to talk about it anymore, Alice." I said seriously.

She shrugged gracefully before plopping herself on my bed. "That's alright. We can talk about something else, then." Her eyes were still miles and miles away, no doubt looking for Edward. "Make sure to tell your Dad you won't be home till late tomorrow night. We're going to get a tree, then you're going to help us decorate it." She said with a serious nod of her head.

I grunted before throwing myself on the bed and under the covers before glaring at her. "You can't be serious about wanting to do that still?" I asked doubtfully.

She quirked an eyebrow at me. "If you shut off the fan after the shit's already hit it, then what's the point?" She asked crudely.

I laughed loudly at the comparison. "Okay. Do you still see Edward… in Italy?" I asked unable to finish.

She blinked a few times and blew a sigh out of her lips. "I haven't see him make a decision at all, actually. It's like someone's flipping through the channels really quickly. He can hardly focus at all. He won't do that. He's not crazy." She promised with a pat to my thigh.

I nodded at her and bit my lip before starting to doze off. I wasn't ready to sleep yet, though. "Alice?"

She perked up at me. "Yes?" She asked cheerfully.

"What did you mean yesterday when you said you'd get me ready for sex with Carlisle?" I asked with my voice muffled by my pillow.

She giggled. "Well, honestly… I was going to ask you about your…hymen." She said slowly.

I snapped my eyes open in surprise. "What about it?" I asked shyly.

Her eyes darted away from me. "Is it still…intact?" She finished vaguely.

I bit my lip and shrugged.

Her face seemed guarded. "Carlisle has never been with a virgin. When I see you two… together…" I flushed hotly at her seeing us like that. "…I see that being a little hard for him." She concluded.

My face throbbed with the blush that heated it. "The blood will be hard for him?" I asked to be sure while she nodded.

I sighed. "I honestly don't know if I still have it. I use tampons, so… probably not?" I said uncertainly.

She bit her lip and thought for a moment. "I thought briefly about getting you a… device… that would surely get rid of it. But I know already that you'd never use it." She said through a giggle.

I sputtered and grunted for a moment. "You'd be damned fucking right I wouldn't use it." I said enthusiastically.

She laughed. "Sleep, Bella. I'll wake you and get you home before Charlie even realizes you never came home last night." She promised.

I frowned. "Maybe you should take me home now then? One less thing for you to have to look out for?" I wondered.

Her eyes focused and unfocused. "Ugh!" She moaned. "That's probably a good idea." She said miserably. "Edward's giving me a headache and I can't even get those anymore!" She said irritably. "I'll take you home and stay with you there, then." She decided.

I nodded and threw on my shoes and jacket. "Hey. You said that Carlisle had plans for us this weekend, but they obviously fell through. What was is going to be, though?" I asked curiously.

She smiled. "Just because it didn't happen today doesn't mean it'll never happen. I won't spoil it for him. Nice try, though." She complimented.

I smiled at her as we left her house to head back to my Dad's for the night.

**AN: I had a few questions about why Edward called Bella? She's at the Cullen's house. He calls now and then to check in. It was unexpected and a surprise for everyone involved, including Edward. I've also been begged to keep Edward out of the story? Sorry, kids. What I have is already written, so to speak. **

**Reviews make me slap a DILF.**


	18. Chapter 18

**A/N: Howdy! Thank you all so much for your kind words and reviews. I've gotten a ton of adds to alerts and favorites and it makes me blush. This chapter was going to be mad mad long because it was going to include the trip to get the tree, but that will deserve it's own chapter. So in the meantime, here is a filler of sorts. Enjoy!**

The following morning I awoke to find Alice staring off into space. I blinked groggily at her as worry started to fill my gut. I sat up and wiped the sleep from my eyes before clearing my throat.

Still, she stared off into space. I was unsure if I should attempt to knock her out of it. What if she was seeing something vital about where Edward was? What if she was seeing him seek an end from the Volturi? A breath gasped out of my lungs, and she blinked twice before raising an eyebrow at me.

"Oh! Good Morning, Bella." She said distractedly.

I grimaced at her. "What happened?" I croaked at her.

She stood up gracefully from the corner of the bed and paced back and forth so sinuously it looked like she was dancing. "I don't know what happened!" She exclaimed miserably. "I see him in a room. He's staring at the wall. It's blue, painted paneling. The paint is pale and cracking. Apparently the building is abandoned. I have no idea where he is, as in what country. He ran and did not focus on his surroundings. The only decision he has made is to stay in that bed and not move until he starves." She concluded with a humorless chuckle. "Which is mostly foolish, because we can not starve ourselves. Eventually, he will go mad with hunger and he will attack whatever is closest to him. I've been watching him a lot lately, and I know he has not hunted in at least a month already." She shook her head and her golden eyes looked flat with misery. "I don't know what to do."

I licked my dry lips as my heart thudded in protest at her words. Edward was in pain, and it was all my fault. "He deserves better than this, Alice."

She smoothed her sweater before sitting back down on my bed. "Of course, he does. I was hoping that I would see Esme with him in my visions, but I don't. I see her traveling up to Denali to visit with Tanya's family. Edward's told you of them, right?"

I nodded and shrugged. "That isn't too far away from here, is it?" I asked.

"No, it's not. I'll look for her arrival there, and then we can travel to see her and let her know what's going on. She should know all of this." She whispered.

The thought of telling Esme about everything made my gut heave with worry. She would certainly not take that well at all. Every moment I thought of Edward and Esme made me wonder how much worse it was for Carlisle. I couldn't even manage to worry about that, besides.

"Carlisle called me last night. He'd like you to come back to work today, if you're feeling up to it. For a few hours, anyway." She said lightly.

I shrugged miserably. "I don't know how you can all carry on with things as though nothing is wrong."

She smiled mildly. "We can think of many, many things at one time. Why sit and worry when all will work itself out eventually?" She shrugged gracefully before walking to my bedroom door. "I don't want you to worry about anything, either. Edward is suffering, but I will find a way to figure out where he is. When I do, I'll drag him back here and we will sort this all out. In the mean time, let's get you something to eat, alright?" She said encouragingly.

As much as I wasn't really hungry, I nodded at her anyway. She made breakfast for me in silence, and her eyes were always miles away. A part of me wondered where I would be if Edward would never have left. Would we have realized by now that we wouldn't work? Or would I still be so enthralled with him that I could look over our immense differences? I supposed any route was a moot point, seeing as how he was gone.

My stomach heaved at the though of him starving himself in an abandoned house somewhere. Despite everything, he really was a wonderful man. Talented in everything a person could possibly be talented doing. He was old fashioned and endlessly chivalrous.

He and I rubbed elbows more frequently than I had ever rubbed elbows with anyone.

While we certainly did love one another, we were far from made for each other. I had to make him see that, without hurting him further.

My thoughts drifted to Carlisle and what he could be doing. Working, I supposed. Saving lives with his precise surgeon's hands. The thought actually made me smile despite my depressing mood. I glanced at the clock to see it was just after 11 in the morning.

I took one more look at Alice and saw she was still miles away, flicking through everyone's futures. I decided to take a shower and head to the hospital early because I couldn't stand sitting here with my thoughts any longer.

I showered quickly and brushed my teeth before throwing on my white scrub set. When I came back down stairs Alice was waiting for me at the door. "I'm so sorry, Bella. I haven't been much for company." She whispered.

I huffed. "You hardly have to entertain me. I'd rather if you looked for Edward than talked to me." I said with a small smile.

Her own face lit with amusement. "Alright, so I feel a little better, then. I'll drive you to the hospital so Carlisle can just take you back to our house afterwards." She said with a wink.

I groaned. "Oh right. Christmas tree shopping." I said with mock enthusiasm. She giggled before nodding.

I rolled my eyes as I locked up my house. We drove to the hospital in silence, and I frowned when I wondered how long everyone was going to be on edge like this.

She pulled up to the doors of the main entrance and wrapped her arms around me before I could get out. I was confused by this, but I hugged her back just as tightly.

"Everything will be fine, Bella. We all love you, so much." She said quietly.

I smiled into her tiny shoulder before she let me go. "You all know how I feel about you. I love you and your family, too." I promised.

I made it in the hospital and punched in for 12. After greeting a few of the nurses at the nurse's station, I started my rounds like Carlisle had shown me. I took out all the trashes in the rooms, then stocked all the band-aids, gauze, medical tape, and other supplies. I worked diligently before it came to my attention that I was being watched like a hawk.

Janice and a few other nurses decided that I was fascinating, because they watched me closely and whispered to each other. I sighed and narrowed my eyes at them before dropping the bed sheets into the dirty laundry bin and walking over to them.

"Is everything alright?" I asked them while resting my hands on my hips.

Janice sputtered and acted as though she had been studying a chart that was in front of her. Amy, however, had no problem voicing her opinions.

"We were just saying that you and Carlisle seem… happy?" She said like a question.

I snorted out a disbelieving laugh. "Really? That's what's such a big deal? Carlisle and I are none of anyone's business." I huffed before walking away from them briskly.

I could not fight with nurses at my job.

I repeated that over and over in my head like a mantra while I searched for Carlisle. I heard his voice before I saw him, and smiled to myself as I walked around the curtain to see a gorgeous strawberry blonde fawning over him.

"Jenna, you don't… have a lump." Carlisle said slowly. "I've checked you, we've given you a mammogram, there's no need for me to check you again." He said slowly while she reached out her slut red nails to touch his arm.

"But. Dr. Cullen, if you'd just…" She paused and palmed her generous breast through her insanely low cut blouse. "Put your fingers here." She suggested.

My vision blurred with jealously and before I could stop myself I was in front of him. Jenna frowned at my entrance but at least had the decency to stop palming her breasts at my reason for living.

His face lit with relief at seeing me. "Bella." My name rolled off his delicate lips like a prayer. "What can I do for you?" He asked me in a more serious tone.

I quirked an eyebrow at Jenna who glared at me for interrupting her little show. "I came in to say hello." I said simply before pulling his face to mine roughly. He grunted in surprise, but didn't stop me as my tongue caressed his eagerly. His fingers gripped my hips tightly and I wished we were anywhere but at work in front of a bimbo.

He groaned as I pulled away from him in need of oxygen. He licked his lips and blinked before letting my hips go while I flushed scarlet. He laughed lightly and I smiled when I realized his gaze had darkened slightly from our little make-out session.

"Well, hello to you too, love." He said with a chuckle. He glanced back at Jenna who was tapping her foot restlessly on the exam table. "I, uh… have to finish up here, but I'll find you in a moment." He promised.

I smiled and nodded before walking to the other side of the curtain. I acted like I was making the other bed in the room, but I had definitely already done this room.

"Well, that was outrageous. Does everyone get to greet you like that, Dr. Cullen?" She purred at him. I fluffed a sheet irritably.

"Jenna, you don't have a cist. You can give these sheets to the lady at the desk on your way out." He answered professionally.

I sighed when I heard his footsteps leave the room and I followed him. He turned to me as we left the room and looked at me seriously.

"A word in my office, Ms. Swan." He said with a nod of his head.

I swallowed nervously before nodding. He walked briskly to his office and I followed behind him. What if I had pushed it with my little possessive display in the room? Oh, man. I was going to get fired.

He opened the door and gestured for me to come in with a wave of his hand. I entered his office first and jittered before standing next to his desk. He shut the door with a decisive click before walking to me at a slow, human pace.

I chanced at glance at his face and gasped at his expression. His eyes were black, while his jaw flexed with tension. He must be so, so mad.

"Isabella." He said sternly. "I was in the middle of an examination. You can not just… walk in to do that. I'm a Doctor, and I need to be taken seriously."

My eyes met his defiantly before I laughed. "Oh, and that'll happen by palming a porn star's tits all day? I don't think so." His eye brow rose and a tendril of his hair fell in his eye. "I must be taken seriously." He said again, in the same stern voice before pulling me to him roughly. I gasped as his tongue devoured my mouth and his hands cupped my ass and picked me up. I wrapped my legs around his waist tightly and moaned into his mouth. He laid me on his desk and I heard the ruffle of papers falling to the floor.

In a matter of a moment he had my top up and off my torso. I arched my back and thrust my chest against his hands and he palmed them eagerly. "Oh, Christ." He whispered while he ground against my throbbing center at an intensely sinuous rhythm.

I tangled my fingers in his hair before sliding them down and over his shoulders. I gripped his lab coat and moaned.

"You love the lab coat, don't you?" He asked with a filthy smirk. "My beloved." He groaned before kissing me deeply as his hips shifted against mine more quickly.

My moan was muffled by his mouth. The sensation of the tie he was still wearing as it rubbed against my breasts made a wave of lust rocket through me so thoroughly I was certain I'd need to change my scrub pants.

He inhaled deeply, and his dark eyes fluttered closed while his hips increased their staccato. The position we were in placed him directly over my little bundle of nerves, so I was literally trembling under him trying to keep my orgasm at bay.

I reached between us and gripped his tie tightly and pulled his lips back down to mine. He smiled against my open mouth, and pulled my nipple with his fingers gently.

His mouth devoured my scream of ecstasy when I could no longer hold my release. He thrust against me harder and faster than a human would probably be able to, and in a moment he stilled as well. He rested his face in the crook of my neck and he inhaled deeply.

Covering his teeth carefully with his lips, he gave a gentle mock-bite to my neck and I laughed at the gesture. "Being a theatrical vampire, are we?" I asked him lazily.

He laughed and released my neck from his mouth. "Is there any other way to be a vampire?" He asked with a chuckle.

I shrugged before he pulled me up so I was sitting and he was standing between my legs. He wrapped his arms around my shoulders and kissed me thoroughly. "You know I wasn't really mad, right? I just… couldn't wait." He said with an embarrassed smirk on his flawless face.

I smiled and blushed. "And you know I was insanely jealous of that woman, right?" I asked.

He laughed. "Oh, Bella. There is only you." He promised sincerely.

I smiled before wrapping my arms around his narrow waist and burying my face in his delicious smelling chest. He sighed happily and kissed my temple.

"Let's go home, shall we?" He asked with a smile in his voice.

I nodded and got off the desk before straightening out my clothes. After finishing the last two rooms I had left, he met me at the main doors where he held his arm out for me.

I smiled widely at him before placing my arm in the crook of his as he walked me to his car.

He opened my car door for me and I climbed in before he got in on his side. We drove in companionable silence before I decided we should talk a bit about what had happened the night before.

"How was your hunt?" I asked lightly to start with.

His luminous golden eyes held mine for a moment before a smirk graced his features. "Good, I believe. I caught a mountain lion." He said happily.

I grimaced and shrugged while he laughed. "How was your night?" He asked.

"Quiet. Alice was distracted." I answered. His jaw flexed, but he said nothing. "I wanted to talk about that, if you don't mind." I said quietly.

He inhaled and gave a quick nod of his head. "Of course, my love."

"Alice said she sees Esme in Alaska. I think you and I should go talk to her there." I suggested.

His fingers gripped the wheel tighter and he swallowed. "I've no desire to see her. She made it perfectly clear by her complete lack of communication with us that she does not want us in her life." He said assuredly.

I shook my head. "Oh, so you've all called her and kept in touch with her, then?" I asked sarcastically.

He sighed. "Bella, she is my ex-wife. My place is with you, now. If the others wish to keep in touch with her, then that is their business. She and I have nothing more to give one another." He said matter-of-factly.

I swallowed a few tears that had worked their way up. "Carlisle, do you still love her?" I asked in a whisper.

His eyes darted to mine nervously while his hand slid from the wheel to grip my own in my lap. "Why do you ask that?" He asked quietly.

I blinked back a few tears and shrugged. "You speak about her like my Dad talks about my Mom. He's bitter about her, but I know as well as everyone else that he loves her so much he'll probably never get over her." I whispered.

He gripped my fingers gently. "Bella, I wish you could understand my feelings for you. I still care for Esme. I don't think it's love, necessarily. She and I have been through a lot together, and only a bit of it was bad. If you're upset right now because you think that I love her and I will secretly never get over her, then you're wrong. I was over her almost the moment she walked out the door. It's why I felt so terribly about my feelings for you initially. I believed I was horrible for being able to forget her so quickly. I see now, that I've been waiting for you all this time. It's always been you, Bella. Half a millenium of existing and I finally found my reason for it."

I huffed out a sob. "I'm not that special, Carlisle." I promised.

He sighed while pulling into his driveway. "You never think you're good enough." He whispered accusingly. "I wish you could see how smart you are, how motivated you make everyone feel. You're so devastatingly beautiful that I can't believe you're mine. You're wiser than some vampires I've known for centuries, and that's really saying a lot. You're perfect for me, Bella. You arouse me and fascinate me in ways that I've never even thought about or imagined. It's like being born again, and getting to see the world as I was meant to. With you." He finished.

I sobbed happily before crawling onto his lap and wrapping my arms around his neck. He kissed me feverishly, and I tried to convey exactly what he meant to me in the kiss as well. His thumbs stroked my face as he pulled away. I ran my fingertips from his golden hair to his straight nose, down to his perfect, delicate lips before resting my palm against his heart. "I'm sorry I always make you explain yourself to me. I suppose I have some trust issues." I whispered.

His mouth quirked in a smile. "I don't mind telling you what you mean to me. We have forever for you to learn that I'm not going anywhere." He promised.

I smiled and nodded before kissing him again, deeply. "Let's go Christmas Tree shopping, shall we?" I said with a mock smile.

He raised an eyebrow towards the house and nodded. "Alice already made you dinner. She said let's get this show on the road." He said with a laugh.

I groaned and climbed off his lap before getting out of the car. I placed my arm in the crook of Carlisle's as we walked up his driveway. "And what a show it will be." I sighed.

**Reviews make Carlisle be taken seriously. =]**


	19. Chapter 19

**A/N: Hello, everyone! I hope everyone's viewing of Eclipse was as amazing as mine was. There was SO MUCH Dr. DILF in that movie. Ugh! Wonderful. Thank you all again for all of your reviews and adds and favoritedness. It's the frosting on the cake for me. =]**

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When the Cullen's suggested getting a Christmas tree, I automatically assumed they meant in the woods somewhere around their house. They did live in the middle of the woods, and if you looked out from any side of their house they had at least one hundred different sized pine trees to choose from.

Pick a bush in the backyard, cut it down, viola! Instant Christmas tree.

Imagine my surprise when we all piled into a rented Tahoe for the sole purpose of going to an actual Christmas tree field. Carlisle sat with me in the farthest back seat, and I suffered the strenuous drive from their house to the field because of Emmett's driving abilities.

"What's the matter, Bells?" Emmett said with a smirk while glancing up at me through the rear-view mirror.

I gripped Carlisle's knee tightly as he zipped through a particularly dangerous curve at probably seventy miles an hour. "Em, I'm going to yack if you keep this up." I promised.

Alice turned to me from the seat in front of us and her eyebrow rose. "Wow! You're actually green. I had no idea humans really did that." She said with mild amusement.

Alice had barely spoken the entire night, due to the fact that she was looking for Edward's future so intensely.

I sighed and closed my eyes before I felt cool lips press against the base of my neck. "Would you like me to tell him to slow down?" Carlisle said asked with his lips against my skin. I flushed at the contact and the coolness of his breath against my neck, but managed to shake my head at him.

I turned my face to Carlisle's and our forehead's touched. Without thinking, I leaned forward and pressed my lips to his before parting his mouth with my tongue. He smiled against my lips then kissed me intently. The flavor of his tongue coupled with his taste and smell managed an embarrassing flush of heat through my body that I did not expect.

Carlisle's fingers tipped my face towards his so he could deepen the kiss while my heart hammered in my chest.

I wanted him. So, so badly.

"Ahem." Alice said.

I jumped and broke off the kiss while Carlisle smiled shyly and ducked his head in the crook of my neck. I blushed scarlet when I noticed Jasper was strung tighter than a piano wire.

The poor guy was stuck in a sardine can of lust.

To my relief, we finally pulled up in front of the field. Everyone piled out of the Tahoe, and Carlisle helped me out of the backseat so I didn't fall on my face.

I shivered from the cold while Carlisle wrapped a strong arm around my shoulders. "Try not to get too big of a tree, please." Carlisle pleaded with Alice.

She huffed while twirling gracefully under Jasper's extended arm. They were dancing in the middle of nowhere. "I'll get what I want." She said childishly.

Jasper laughed and shrugged. The conversation was officially closed.

We walked around for a bit while looking at the trees. Most of them were intensely stupid looking. We were clearly the last ones out to get a tree this year, and we had nothing to choose from but ugly, misshapen trees.

Carlisle and I broke off from the others, and we walked quietly through the rows of trees.

I placed my arm in the crook of his and glanced up at him. The moon was out tonight, and it shone brightly off his pale skin. Carlisle looked especially gorgeous in moonlight. It gave his skin a luminescent quality, and his golden eyes almost looked backlit by an unknown source. His hair glinted in the light, and I couldn't stop myself from running my fingers through his smooth locks.

He was looking as intently at me as I was at him when a piece of his hair fell into his eyes from my mussing it. I loved it.

"You look beautiful, Bella." He whispered to me while reaching out and dragging a cool finger down the side of my face.

I smiled at him and blushed. "That's funny. I was just thinking how sexy you looked."

He laughed and bit his lip. It was a gesture I was sure he did when he blushed in his human life.

We walked slowly through the rows before I stopped at a tree. "This one's cute." I said with a shrug.

He grimaced. "Bella, it's barely five feet." He sounded distraught about it.

I glared at him playfully. "Oh, no! Not the five foot tree!" I said sarcastically.

He shook his head with a mischievous smirk on his face before we moved on.

"Tell me something about you that I don't know." I encouraged.

He exhaled on a laugh. "You were serious when you said that, weren't you?" He asked while his eyes twinkled in the light.

I nodded my head at him while he thought for a moment. "Perhaps we should narrow the fields down. What would you like to know?" He reasoned.

"How many times a day do you get hit on by women like Jenna?" I asked immediately then blushed.

His face lit with surprise before he blew out a breath. "Oh. Well, I suppose it's probably once a day." He bit his lip and averted his eyes. He was blushing, in his own way.

I shook my head at him. "You're lying." I accused.

He grunted. "Alright! Maybe twice a day. Sometimes more. It's nothing, though. I don't want you to worry because I don't even-"

I shushed him with my fingers against his lips. "I wasn't asking because of that. I trust you with every bit of me. I was just…curious." I said with a shrug.

His shoulders relaxed somewhat before I decided to lay the doozie on him. "Have you ever, in all the time you've been a vampire, acted out with one of your patients?" I asked to his immediate chagrin.

He would have blushed scarlet if he could with how he averted his eyes and stammered.

Vampires don't stammer. Ever.

"Why are you asking this? Do you wish to fight with me?" He pleaded gently.

I huffed. "Oh, boy. So you have?" I concluded.

He sighed before nodding. "Almost two hundred years ago I had a few flings with women who started out as my patient. I never… in a hospital!" He said appalled.

I bit my lip. "Well, that's kind of what I meant. If you'd ever been tempted at the hospital and acted on it." I said quietly.

He shook his head. "I've never done that at my place of work." He promised.

I nodded before smiling. One day I was going to have to change that status for him.

"Have you ever had house pets?" I asked randomly.

He smiled gently at my change of subject. "Only fish. I don't really remember if we had any pets when I was human." He blinked and stared off while trying to remember.

"What was the first CD you ever bought?" I was literally throwing random questions at him.

He laughed. "Now that, I remember. It was Bruce Springsteen's 'Born in the USA' in 1984." He chuckled while thinking of it. "I paid so, so much for my CD player. Then again, I had paid so much for our first record player as well." He reasoned. "Do you remember the first CD you ever had?" He asked.

I bit my lip and blushed. "It was Hanson." I said through a mumble.

His eyebrows shot up. "Hanson! Oh, Mmmbop, Bella." He laughed heartily and I bit back my own smile.

"Say what you want, I was going to marry Taylor Hanson." I argued with a giggle.

He laughed harder and pulled me to him. "Oh, Bella. Thank you for that." He said while his giggle fit died down. "You couldn't possibly have married him someday. I'd like very much if I were the only one you'd consider marrying." He said very seriously.

I gasped on a breath and gaped at him. "You'd still want to remarry? Even after…" I stopped myself and glanced away.

He sighed and tipped my face back to his so I had to look at him. "Of course I do. I'm obviously not saying next month, but I want to tie myself to you. In every single way that I possibly can." He whispered.

I smiled when he leaned forward and pressed his lips against mine. He tongue brushed against mine slowly and I moaned against his mouth.

He broke off the kiss before he looked to our left and sighed. "Alice found one that she loves. We have our tree." He said with a grunt.

I laughed at his expression. "Oh? How big is it?" I asked while my chilly fingers did a little walking down his backside.

His eyebrows rose. "About 22 feet." He said.

I stammered. "How the hell am I supposed to decorate a 22 foot Christmas tree?" I asked appalled.

He bit his lip and shrugged. "We asked you to help us decorate it. We're hardly going to stand there and let you figure it out." His eyes lit with amusement. "Although, the thought has merit."

I grimaced. "It does. If you like a hospital trip because I fell off a ladder."

We walked back to find Emmett and Jasper pretending to struggle with the tree while they strapped it to the roof of the suburban. I guess I understood why they rented a car for this. The roof would never be the same after.

When we finally got back to the house, I stood to the side and let them fight with the giant tree. Even with their vampire strength the tree gave them a run for their money when they were trying to stand it up in it's massive, metal base.

Once the pine was standing, Emmett gave me a string of white lights to wrap around the bottom of the tree. Alice dangled precariously on the top of the ladder to string the top half with lights.

"Emmett, plug it in." Alice called from her perch on the top of the ladder.

In a quick movement, the tree was lit and it was already gorgeous. I smiled despite myself while Carlisle stood behind me and wrapped his arms around my waist. "Are all those boxes your decorations?" I asked in awe.

Carlisle squeezed me tighter and kissed my neck with his cool lips. "Yes. We have probably eight or nine more boxes of ornaments in storage, but these five will do just fine." He said with a chuckle.

Alice slid down the side of the ladder gracefully before landing on her feet without a sound. "That reminds me! I bought you some ornaments as well!" She said while handing me a huge, brow box. "We've been buying them as we find them. It's only fair you get represented in our tree." She explained.

Emmett bounced on the balls of his feet and smiled widely before reaching in the box and handing me a smaller one. "I found this one, and it's just perfect for you." He said encouragingly.

I eyeballed him skeptically before putting the big box down and sitting on the sofa to look through my 'representation'. I opened the smaller box that Emmett gave me cautiously before pulling out the red, plastic ornament. It took me a moment to read the elegant script, but when I did I blushed furiously. "Emmett! What…!" I stammered and covered the little ornament with my hand. My heart beat furiously while he laughed heartily. The others were trying to figure out what it could have possibly been.

Carlisle sat next to me on the couch and pulled the little ornament from my death grip before turning it so he could read it. "Fang Banger?" He asked slowly.

I blushed hotter out of sheer mortification. Rosalie let out a loud, bark of a laugh that made me jump. "Fang Banger?" Jasper asked.

"Yes! Like on TrueBlood! Fang Bangers!" Rosalie added invaluably.

I covered my face with my hands and snatched up the ornament out of Carlisle's hand. "That is not going on the tree." I promised.

Emmett ruffled my hair. "Yeah, we don't have fangs, anyway. I thought it was funny." He shrugged.

Carlisle was averting his eyes and biting his lip. Tell tale signs of a blush for him. "I'm sorry, Bella." Carlisle groaned.

I breathed deeply before taking the ornament and hanging it directly in the front of the tree. Carlisle raised an eyebrow at me and I smiled. "It's funny. I hang with vampires all day. We'll move on from it." I encouraged.

We hung up the rest of my decorations first. There was a 'Best Friends' ornament from Alice, and a little open book with a red ribbon book mark from Jasper. Rosalie got a little sheep ornament that was flipping everyone off. She said that it reminded her of me.

Carlisle's made me blush probably more furiously than Emmett's did. It was an incredible bouquet of blown glass freesia. They were absolutely stunning in shades of purple, each little petal more delicate than you'd think possible. "Nothing reminds me of you more than the scent of freesia." he promised with a little sexy purr. Jasper glared at us with a confused expression on his face.

I couldn't help my body's reaction to Carlisle. Not ever.

Once mine were all up, we started opening boxes and hanging the other ornaments up on the tree. I had laughed a few times. There was a blonde Barbie inside a little red car. No doubt for Rosalie.

There were quite a few ornaments that had a Doctor theme to them. I smiled at every single one, and immaturely hung them next to my ornaments.

There was a confederate flag, and a crystal ball. I laughed about it and held it out to Alice while she closed her eyes dramatically and hovered her hands over it.

I hung it on the tree before digging through the box and pulling out a beautiful little crystal grand piano. My breathing caught in my throat while my fingers smoothed over the little lid that was propped open. There was no doubt it was Edwards.

Carlisle took it from my fingers with his infinitely delicate grip before hanging it next to an ornament of his. "I miss my son." He said quietly while his golden eyes rested on the little ornament.

My heart broke at his words, and I couldn't stop the glimmer of tears from blurring my vision. I rested my hand against his chest while he threaded his fingertips through my hair. He pulled me to him gently and pressed a kiss to my lips. "I'm in love with you, Carlisle." I promised in a whisper.

He smiled gently and leaned in to kiss me again. "As I love you." He whispered against my lips. I wrapped my arms around his waist and sighed.

If the others heard our conversation, they did not show it. I was grateful for that.

Alice made me hot chocolate which was probably the best I had ever had. I sat on the couch while they hung up their ornaments and tinsel at a slow, human speed. They clearly enjoyed this very much.

Rosalie showed me a series of ornaments that were hers when she was human. She and I were getting along much better, and I was so grateful for it.

Jasper even came and sat with me on the couch. There was a bullet hanging on an ornament hook, and he told me about how he had taken the bullet in his human life. It had hit him in the arm during the war, and he had kept it ever since.

He had sat remarkably close to me, and never once looked uncomfortable.

I wasn't about to push it, though.

Around 10:30 their doorbell rang, and Alice looked surprised. "Charlie." She mouthed before running to the door to get it.

Rosalie shrugged. "She's been watching for too much. Little things like this are going to escape her." She whispered to me.

"Charlie!" I heard Alice chirp happily. "What a surprise! We were just decorating our tree, come in!"

I heard him croak out a little response before walking into the living room. His face lit with surprise that we were actually doing what I said we'd be doing. He grimaced when he noticed that Carlisle and I were sharing the big reclining chair. I was entirely too comfortable to move, though.

Carlisle's relaxed his arm that was around my waist, however. "Dad?" I asked.

He swallowed and stammered while looking at our huge tree. "Oh, uh. There was a little accident just down the road. I figured I'd stop by and see what was going on." He explained.

I sighed. "Oh. Well, Alice made hot chocolate. It's really good, Dad. You want some?" I asked.

He looked like he did, but he shook his head anyway. I sighed again before getting off the chair. I turned and kissed Carlisle quickly before walking past my Dad to the kitchen. "C'mon. She's got a whole bunch in the thermos." I said.

He walked behind me closely and watched as I made my way around their kitchen. I opened the fridge and spooned a dollop of whipped cream on top before handing him the cup. He blushed a little and sat at their breakfast nook that was, for the most part, never used.

"You guys look like you're having fun." He said while taking a sip of the chocolate.

I licked my lips and nodded, but didn't say anything.

He sighed and shifted in the seat which caused all the equipment on his belt to creak. "I've been… unsupportive." He said slowly. "You know I love you, kid." He said.

I nodded again and shrugged. "I love you too, Dad." I poured myself more hot chocolate and sat down next to him. "I know this wasn't easy for you. I know no Dad wants their daughter to see someone much older than them." I reasoned.

He frowned and shook his head. "You know, that's not even really it. I'd be wary of anyone you liked, because I never want them to hurt you. Boys can be… hurtful." He mumbled. "I know Dr. Cullen is a good man. I have never said a bad word about him because I respect him and everything he's done for our town. I told you that I had hoped he'd find a good woman because he deserves one. Well, he found himself the absolute best woman out there, and it just happens to be my little girl." He whispered.

A few tears leaked from my eyes and I smiled at him. "Thank you, Dad." I whispered back.

He put a hand over mine and squeezed gently before letting go. "Alice sure does make an awesome hot chocolate." He said.

I laughed and stood up. "Well, you go tell her that." I giggled.

The rest of the night passed by in companionable quiet, and I found that I really enjoyed my Dad being there. After the tree was decorated and we listened to some Christmas music while talking around the tree, my Dad said he'd be heading home. I told him I'd catch a ride with Alice in a little bit, and to my surprise he told me to take my time.

Rosalie and Emmett went outside for some quiet time to themselves. Despite the cold, Emmett was only wearing a tee shirt.

Alice hugged me and said goodnight, before pulling Jasper up the stairs to their room.

This left me and Carlisle alone, for a bit.

He laid on the couch with me laying over him facing the Christmas tree. Alice had left on the Christmas music which was all instrumental and subdued.

I kissed Carlisle slowly, savoring his taste and the texture of his cool lips against my own. His hands were splayed against my lower back and his thumbs were grazing the waistband of my jeans. I pulled back from the kiss so I could look at him.

His pale, lavender lids were half-mast over his dark honey eyes. The white lights of the tree made them glitter inhumanly, though it was gorgeous. His hair was mussed, as it usually is when I get my fingers in it. I ran my fingertips gently under his eyes and followed the slight dark shadow under them. I traced the line of his jaw before running my thumbs over his full bottom lip.

He sighed contentedly before looking at me meaningfully. "May I… ask you a personal question?" He whispered hesitantly.

I smiled while I kissed his strong jaw up to the base of his neck. "Of course." I whispered against his cool skin.

He paused. "You mustn't get mad." He pleaded with a hint of English accent.

I quirked and eyebrow at him and rested my elbows against his chest so I could watch him. "I promise I won't be mad." giggled while crossing my fingers over my heart.

He chuckled quietly before he swallowed. "You said that you had never been with a man before. Nor done anything more than kissing…" He whispered.

I blushed, but nodded. "Yes… why?" I said slowly.

He swallowed again and bit his lip. "Is that because you want to wait until you're married? Or because you haven't felt… comfortable enough with anyone yet? I only ask because I want to honor your wishes. I never want to make you feel uncomfortable." He promised.

I sighed. "I feel like love is the only thing really required between two people when they are intimate. I know that isn't the case anymore, but I feel that way, anyway. As much as I'm not opposed to marriage, I certainly hope I don't have to wait that long." I said through an embarrassed chuckle.

He smiled widely and grazed his fingertips across my back. "I only wanted to know because I don't want you to feel pressured. I know, physically as well as emotionally, we progressed quickly. I don't want you to think that means we have to do more every time. I sometimes forget your age…" He said with a mild grimace.

I kissed his jaw slowly, letting my tongue taste the exquisite flavor of his skin. "I want you, Carlisle. In every way you could possibly imagine." I whispered huskily against his skin. There was no mistaking his body's reaction to my words as he pressed against my abdomen, either. "I don't feel pressured at all. If anything, I feel like I've rushed you!" I laughed at his quirked eyebrow before continuing. "You'll know when I'm ready. I promise I'll make it pretty clear."

He let out a small breath of relief before kissing me thoroughly. "It is so, so late. I should really take you home." He whispered while one of his legs wrapped around mine. I palmed his gorgeous chest and let my fingers dance down his white tee-shirt to feel all his sexy muscles underneath. His hands splayed on my ass, and I shifted so I could rest my throbbing center against his length.

I leaned forward and kissed him deeply while his hands shifted my weight against him. Sighing into his mouth, I threaded my fingers in his hair and tilted his face up so I could kiss him more deeply.

"Carlisle." Alice whispered despondently from the bottom of the staircase.

I jumped off his lap while he sat up abruptly and shifted his clothes. I blushed scarlet while Carlisle cleared his throat and adjusted himself discreetly in his pants. "What's wrong, Alice?" He finally managed.

Her facial expression of pure dread sparked a mild panic attack. She swallowed and grimaced while looking towards the front door. "I was so busy looking for Edward. Always Edward…" She whispered to herself. "I didn't see this. I'm so sorry." She said vaguely.

Carlisle's eyebrows knit together in confusion. "What are you talking about? So sorry for wha…" He stiffened in the chair and stood slowly before walking to the front door.

My heart hammered in my chest and I looked to Alice for some explanation.

She bit her lip and sighed at my expression. "Esme's outside." She whispered.

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	20. Chapter 20

**A/N: Hello, Lovers. This was going to wait till after the weekend, but since I CAN'T BELIEVE I broke 600 reviews I decided to give this to you guys early. I seriously appreciate the reviews and adds so much. you don't even know! This chapter was difficult to write, as I was staring at my PFach desktop the whole time.**

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Carlisle pulled the door open slowly, and sure enough Esme was standing on the other side. I sat stiffly on the sofa while my heart hammered out a merciless rhythm. She stepped inside gracefully before pulling off a deep purple shawl she had been wearing. Her golden eyes landed on me, and she grimaced before looking back to Carlisle.

Carlisle's gaze flicked to mine, and he looked pained. "Esme, how have you been?" He asked politely, though his voice was strained.

Alice moved to sit on the couch next to me and I threw her a nervous glance before she shook her head discreetly.

Esme took a few more steps into the house before throwing the shawl on the coat hook next to the door. "Shall I be frank with you, dear Carlisle?" She asked in an incredibly old fashioned way. She hovered a bit in the foyer before taking the few steps to join us in the living room.

Carlisle moved to the couch to sit by me as well, only he took my hand in his and stroked it with his thumb. My heart hammered to the point where I could feel my pulse in my fingertips. Carlisle squeezed my hand gently in a soothing manner. Esme perched herself in the recliner next to the sofa and glared at our joined hands before ignoring me completely.

Carlisle sighed. "Of course, please." He answered politely with a gentle wave of his hand.

Esme swallowed and flicked her eyes to Alice, who had yet to say anything at all. "I miss my family." She said despondently. "I miss you, Alice." She whispered.

Alice sighed next to me, and I was certain was going to pass out. "We all miss you, Esme." She responded honestly.

Esme laughed lightly before looking back to Carlisle. "I'm not sure I believe that. Oh, my dearest Carlisle, perhaps you and I could talk somewhere more private?" She encouraged with a pointed look towards the staircase. She wanted to go to their room. My gut heaved and I swallowed tightly. Not even I had been in his room yet. Not that I thought he was keeping me out of there, but it still made me insanely jealous.

Carlisle gripped my hand tighter and gave a curt shake of his head. "Anything you have to say should be more than appropriate for everyone to hear." His honey voice encouraged.

She grimaced before standing up and pacing to the tree to look at the ornaments. "Well enough, I suppose." She whispered to herself. "When I left three months ago, I thought I was getting away from everything that had plagued me. This… life that I lead as a vampire." She explained with a wave of her hand over her body. "I've never loved another man as I love you, Carlisle. Except for my first born son." She whispered. "I loved my little boy, and all I wanted in the world was the opportunity to see him again. I suppose that I resented you for taking that away from me." She turned to face us again and I ducked my head to avoid her eyes. "Only now that I've spent some time away from you have I realized how stupid I was. There is nothing you or I can do, now. I will always be this." She said with a shrug. "Never changing. I will never see my son again unless I were to take my own life. Even then, though, I would not go to the same place that he is." Her voice faltered slightly and I winced at the pain she was in.

"So, I roamed around alone. I could not find Edward for some time, until I caught up with him in Denali after the first month. He's utterly miserable, Carlisle. He wants to come home, but he feels that he can't." She said with a pointed glare thrown at me. "If only he knew, he would surely never recover from a shock like this." She whispered.

Carlisle exhaled before opening his mouth. "But!" Esme said, cutting off anything he was going to say. "The point I've been coming to, my dearest, is I want to come home. I don't wish to wander around without you or our family. I want us all to be happy. We used to be quite happy, weren't we, my love?" She whispered to him soothingly.

His jaw flexed and he looked down at our entwined hands before nodding. "Yes we were, Esme. We were as happy as two people who aren't meant for each other can be." He raised his eyes back to hers and his look was hard.

Esme looked as though he had slapped her. "What are you talking about? You are my family, Carlisle. We can move on from this… obstacle." She finished with a glance at me. That's all I was to her, an obstacle.

Carlisle sighed. "Esme, I no longer want that for you and I." He concluded sincerely.

Her jaw gaped at him, then at me. "Because of her?" She said with a humorless laugh. "Carlisle, she is your son's mate. How can you do that to Edward? How can you do this to me?" She yelled with a sob.

Carlisle stood up abruptly and ran his hands through his hair. "You divorced me, remember?" He yelled back at her. "You and I have not been happy in almost three decades. Let's not fool ourselves, please. Edward left, then you left, and Bella and I only had each other. She was there for me more than anyone has been in my entire long existence. I love her, Esme. She is my soul mate. I've never felt anything for anyone as I do her. Do not ever refer to her as an obstacle that must be removed. She will never be removed from me, ever." He promised. His voice was as passionate as I had ever heard it, and I blinked back a stream of tears.

Esme stood there for a moment, absorbing everything he said. Her face was as cold as marble. "Does Edward know?" She asked in a cool tone.

Carlisle breathed out and shook his head. "Alice is trying to locate him, so we can talk to him about it." He whispered.

Esme's eyebrow raised. "What is it you believe he will do, my love? He will probably seek out the Volturi." She concluded.

Carlisle winced at her incredibly true words while my heart hammered loudly. Her exceptional hearing made it possible for her to tell that something was up.

"He's got an idea that you two are together, doesn't he?" She whispered accusingly.

Carlisle licked his lips and nodded. "He… called one night. Bella answered the phone, and he could… deduce that she and I were…." He frowned hard and I jittered miserably on the sofa. Alice wrapped her arm around me and I sighed at the soothing gesture.

"Screwing around?" Esme finished invaluably. Carlisle and I winced, and she laughed. "So you saw him decide to go to the Volturi to seek an end?" She whispered to Alice.

Alice gripped me tighter and she nodded. "Only once, and it only lasted a moment. I know he's upset, so I'm doing my best to find him so we can talk to him." She explained with her wind chime voice.

Her gaze hardened when she looked back to Carlisle. "If something happens to him because of this…" She whispered menacingly.

Carlisle swallowed and shook his head. "Nothing will happen to him, Esme." He promised.

She glared at him harder before clenching her teeth. "How long have you had feelings for her?" She asked him while still avoiding me completely.

He tilted his head to catch my eye before glancing back to her. "She's always been important to me, but the first time I realized I loved her was possibly two weeks after you left. Though, I'm sure I've loved her for a while and just denied the feeling to avoid a problem." He whispered completely sincerely.

Her eyes hardened more, if it was possible. "When was the first time you acted on your feelings?" She questioned slowly. My face flamed red and I closed my eyes.

He sighed. "I'm not sure where you're going with this, but if the point is to find out if Bella and I were…intimate before the divorce papers, then yes. She and I had never done anything while you and I were together." He promised.

She scowled at him, then at me. "How was it, sleeping with a married man?" She asked harshly.

I swallowed tightly and shook my head. "I wouldn't know." I said sincerely.

She glared at me and for a moment I was afraid. "You haven't slept with him?" She asked accusingly.

Carlisle stepped between us, so her gaze was no longer on me. "You were standing outside. I know you heard me talking about that with her. She and I had kissed while you and I were married. We were separated. It's done with. You're pulling straws to stay mad at Bella and I. The point is, whether Bella was here or not, I wouldn't welcome you back as my wife. Or my mate." He concluded.

She side stepped Carlisle to sit on the recliner, defeated. "It's too late for me. I was only gone three months, and its too late to be with my family again." She whispered.

Carlisle shook his head. "You are always welcome to visit. There is going to be a huge change with this family, I can feel it. Perhaps under the circumstances things would be better if the couples lived close to each other, but separated. This way you could visit them without any hard feelings between you and I. I would hope that someday we could be friends again, but as of right now it simply isn't possible. The others miss you, as you miss them. Do not abandon them because you and I have nothing left for one another. If you would have come back with someone that you loved, I would be happy for you. After all this time being miserable, we deserve to be happy." He whispered.

She exhaled loudly and gave a short sob. "Oh, Carlisle. I'm so sorry for hurting you." She whispered. "I do love you, you must believe it." She pleaded. She hunched forward a little and her caramel hair fell in curls around her face.

He smiled gently at her and nodded. "Of course. As I love you, for being there for our family all this time. For helping me be the man that I am." He whispered.

She smiled widely at his words before standing up and walking to him. She placed a lingering kiss on his cheek to which he closed his eyes.

My hands were shaking from anxiety while my heart thudded with jealously. It was irrational, I know. Emotions can't be helped.

She stepped away from him and their eyes met for a moment before they both smiled gently. Her eyes slid to me and the panic increased. "Isabella." She whispered, suddenly in front of me. I jumped, but Alice held my hand tightly. "I've been unfair to you, most of all. I blamed you for Edward leaving us, then I blamed you for our family not sticking together. When I first arrived here tonight, and heard you and Carlisle together…" I averted my eyes while hers slid back to Carlisle's disbelievingly. "I was consumed with jealousy. Edward and I abandoned the both of you, and you found solace in one another. How I wish I had someone to help me through the transition. You've always been kind about us, Bella. For that, I am grateful. You've taken care of my family…" She paused and frowned before smiling tightly. "Well, you've taken care of our family I should say."

I bit my lip and sighed. "Esme, I'm sorry this worked out the way it did." I said sincerely. "But I love Carlisle. With every bit of me, I love him." I whispered. "I will fix things with Edward. I promise I will not let him suffer for a moment longer than he has, once we can find him."

She smiled genuinely at me. "Did you love him?" She asked randomly.

I glanced at Carlisle, who winced at her question. "Yes, I did. I just… couldn't see how at the time though. He was my best friend. I fear I've ruined any chance of having that again, though." I said miserably.

Her golden eyes flicked over my face. "With time, you'd be amazed what you can learn to accept." She turned to Carlisle and raised an eyebrow at him. "Are you going to change her against our son's wishes?" She asked pointedly.

He nodded while sliding onto the sofa next to me. He wrapped one arm around my waist before pressing a kiss to my hair. Despite the horror of the situation, I sighed. "Yes. I know Edward only meant the best for her, but it's what she wants. I've promised to turn her any time she says to after high school. If the need should arise before then, we'd make exceptions, of course." He reasoned.

She breathed deeply and glanced at the staircase. "It seems as though you have everything all planned out, then." She concluded.

He shrugged and pulled me tighter to himself. "We've been preparing, yes." He agreed.

There were a few moments of awkward silence before she spoke. "Is the cottage we have still functional?" She asked.

Carlisle's face lit with surprise and he nodded. "Yes, why?"

She frowned before shrugging. "I'd… like very much if I could use it for a few days. This way the other's know where I am, and they could come visit me if they'd like. I've missed them so." She finished sadly. "I would not interfere this way. In two or three days, I'll stop in to say good bye, and let you know what other accommodations I will have for myself." She promised.

Carlisle hesitated, but nodded his head. "Of course. Please, stay until you sort out another residence. I'd hope you'd accept money towards it. I will pay for it, as well as anything else you need." He promised.

She smiled again. "Dearest Carlisle…" She began, but stopped. "I suppose you're not my dearest, anymore." She wondered. "Please tell the others where I'll be." She stood and shrugged on her shawl before opening the door. She turned and took one last look around the house before leaving quietly.

We all stayed silent for a while, afterwards. Alice sighed. "You should get Bella home. Charlie will check on her at four thirty." She promised.

Carlisle stood numbly and took my hand in his. My hands were still clammy and my heart was still thudding wildly. He frowned when he realized this, but thankfully didn't say anything until we were in his car driving back to my house.

"That was entirely too much for you to have to deal with." He said sincerely. "I'm so sorry, Bella. You know that I love you. Don't doubt us for a moment, my beloved." He pleaded.

I jittered nervously before tears fell unchecked. "I don't, Carlisle. I just…" I groaned before shaking my head. "How can I not feel like the catalyst when everything rolled forward because I pushed it?" I sobbed.

"You didn't push it. Even if you had, I'd be grateful to you. I need you Bella. Where I've never needed anyone before. You were made for me. I sincerely believe I've done something right to be given such a wonderful woman. A woman that loves me as I love her. What else is there to be thankful for?" He wondered.

I reached up and ran my fingers over the pendant he gave me as he pulled up in front of my house. He killed the engine and the lights so we wouldn't attract attention. "You're going to kick the others out of the house?" I asked miserably.

He chuckled softly. "We all live together sometimes. Sometimes we live apart. The others will want to live separately soon, anyway. This way Esme can visit them and no one has to worry about hurt feelings. I am so, so ready to move on from this with you. You can't imagine, Bella." He said passionately.

I sighed at the thought of it before leaning over the console to wrap my fingers tightly in his hair. I pressed my mouth to his eagerly, and he returned the gesture with equal vigor. His arms wrapped around my torso and he wove his fingers up the side of my neck and into my hair. "All I want is to just… enjoy you, Carlisle. Does that make sense?" I asked between heated kisses.

He groaned into my mouth and I pulled back to look at him. He licked his lips while his dark eyes glittered down at me. "It makes perfect sense, my love. All I want is to enjoy you, as well." He promised with another gentle kiss. "Let me ditch my car down the road somewhere. I'll be in your room in a bit." He said with a smirk.

"Don't be too long." I said miserably though I was smiling.

He grinned back and me and shook his head. "You'll never wait for me, Bella." He whispered.

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	21. Chapter 21

**Hello, lovers! Thank you all for your kind words and many, many adds and favorited-ness. I blush so much, all the time. **

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As I walked into my dark house, I crept around quietly so I wouldn't wake Charlie. I crept up the stairs and to the bathroom so I could have my human moment, brush my teeth, and wash my face. I threw on a tank top and flannel pajama pants before I opened my bedroom door.

Carlisle was laying on my bed, one of his strong arms behind his head. His white tee shirt had ridden up, and a bit of his abs were showing. His eyes twinkled while he patted the side of the bed next to him. Smiling widely, I hopped over him and rested my head against his cool chest.

His strong arms immediately wrapped around me and shifted me so I straddled his lap. This was new. He never encouraged this in my Dad's house. He sat up and pulled my hips flush against his while his mouth devoured mine. It wasn't exactly urgent, but passionate.

I wound my fingers through his hair and gripped his strong jaw. I let out a small moan when I felt his cool fingertips press under the tank top to smooth over my back.

"Oh, Bella." He whispered against my lips. "My beloved."

I smiled against his lips and pulled away slightly breathless. "You say that a lot." I teased.

He smiled and a wisp of golden hair fell into his now dark eyes. "I've never used the expression before, for anyone." He promised.

My jaw gaped. "Why not?" I whispered.

He shrugged and shifted me away from his hips a bit. I suppose my gyrating against him was making conversation difficult. "For our kind, we usually only find one mate in our life. When we find them, we never, ever leave them. Vampires call their mates beloveds. It's simply the more romantic way to say mate. It also shows other vampires who you are to me." He whispered.

My body flushed with heat and I smiled. "I absolutely love that. So you're my… beloved as well?" I asked while he nodded.

He chuckled before he kissed my neck, then my jaw, then my lips. "I promise you I'll be your beloved for an eternity, at least."

I smiled before a hint of worry crossed over my face. "Is Esme really… alright with this? Was she being genuine when she left? I feel terrible for having to ask that… but…" I swallowed tightly and grimaced at the pained look on his face.

"Bella, she's hurting right now. Whether we were meant for each other or not, we spent a lot of time together, just getting by. She no longer has me to be there for her. I'm not telling you this to make you feel guilty. I no longer want to be there for her. All I ever want is you." He whispered while a cool finger trailed down my face. "But, she was as genuine as she could be. Of course, she'd rather if she could move right back in and stretch this out for another seventy years, but I couldn't bare it."

I grunted as worry settled into my stomach. It was painful, and the guilt rolled in on top of it. "I can't help but feel guilty, Carlisle. For everything. If you would have never moved to Forks, you'd all still be a family. I know you weren't entirely happy, but I hate being the catalyst for things. It's so hard for me. I love you so, so much. I want to tell everyone that you're the best thing that's ever happened to me. I want to walk through Forks with your arm around me and I want to be able to kiss you like I always want to. I want you to have Edward in your life, and not worry that if he hates the idea of us together he'll end his life. You are so important to me. I want you to be happy, and have your family like you've always had. Even if that meant having Esme, too." I whispered.

He chuckled. "No, Bella. I don't want Esme living with us." He chuckled again. "After you've been changed, no one will want to live with us. I'll bet money on that."

My brain tried to work through the possible meanings of that, but instead I raised an eyebrow at him. "Why?"

He bit his lip and averted his eyes. Uh-oh. Carlisle was blushing. "When…. Vampires are mated… they can be quite, uh, possessive of one another for a while. Rosalie and Emmett were so… aggressive… they broke the house." He whispered cautiously.

Oh. When I was less breakable I was going to tear down houses with Carlisle. My body flushed with heat at the thought and my heartbeat picked up. "We could try that now, instead." I suggested hotly. I wasn't sure I'd survive, but just the thought of him… losing his shit like that made my body tingle all over.

He inhaled deeply and shuddered. "Oh, Bella. You've no idea." He promised. His mouth pressed against my jaw before he trailed slowly to my shoulder. I threw my head back and shifted so I could rest my center against his length. He was more than willing.

Just as I was about to get swept away with his mouth on my body, a little nagging thought popped into my head. "What if…" I sat up and licked my lips before my heart thudded with protest at my thoughts. "What if you change me, and you don't want me the same as you do now? What if I don't smell the same? What if I'm not warm to you anymore?" I had no idea where these thoughts were coming from, but I couldn't stop myself.

His pale eyebrow quirked at me. "You think that when you're a vampire I won't want you the same?" He questioned slowly. I nodded and blushed. His eyes darkened more. "I suppose there's no way for me to explain it to you…" He whispered slowly. "My… thoughts…" He sputtered and swallowed, and I bit back a smile thinking how red he would be if he were human. "My thoughts are consumed with you. It would be a heaven send to have you be less breakable. You'll smell the same, of that I'm certain. You won't blush anymore, and it's true that I love that so, so much. However, you won't lose the motions you make when you blush, so it will be the same." He whispered with a smile.

I blinked. "Oh, like when you bite your bottom lip and look anywhere but at me? I can just picture you blushing." I said through a giggle.

His jaw gaped and he sputtered. "I don't… blush!" He stammered adamantly.

I laughed harder and had to muffle the noise with my blanket. "You so do." I accused with a childish edge to my voice.

He bit back a smile of his own and shrugged. "If you say so, my love." He said with a kiss to my temple. "As I was saying… You're eyes won't be brown anymore, but I will love them when they are dark out of hunger for me. Or when they're gold because of the lifestyle we lead." He promised while his eyes twinkled from the light of my nightlight.

I smiled despite myself. He was naming off everything I loved about his eyes as well. "Ugh. I love when your eyes darken because you're turned on. It makes me want to…" And I let that thought simmer because his jaw tightened in anticipation of what I was going to say.

His eyes darkened considerably and I moaned while his palms pulled my hips tighter to his. "It makes you want to what?" He whispered huskily. His cool breath tickled my ear and I sighed.

My throat went dry while other parts of me flared to life. He inhaled discreetly but I still noticed it. "It makes me want to tear down houses with you, that's what." I said through a breathy exhale as his hands palmed my breasts.

He smiled against my neck. "Oh, we'll tear down houses, don't you worry. It might be best if we just… live in the woods for a while."

I laughed at the thought, then shrugged. "I don't care. Clothing is not allowed." I lectured with a giggle.

He smiled wider and kissed the base of my throat. "I'd have to assume that rule goes for the both of us." He said mildly. His body stilled and he frowned. "Charlie's getting up. I have to be at the hospital in an hour, so I suppose I must go." He said forlornly.

I groaned. "I haven't slept all night. It was so worth it." I smiled and ran my fingertips over his face one more time.

His mouth descended on mine and I kissed him with every bit of vigor I could. He broke the kiss reluctantly before he frowned. "Come by the hospital later. I'll be there till 6." He whispered. "I love you." He said with another kiss to my lips. He got off the bed and sat at the window frame before jumping.

"I love you, Beloved." I said lowly. I knew he could hear me, even if I couldn't see him.

Thankfully, because of school vacation I didn't have school the next morning, nor for the rest of the December. I stretched languidly in my bed before glancing at the clock and noticing it was after 11.

After getting out of bed and showering, I made myself some breakfast and watched some television. Just as I was about to call Alice, she opened my front door and stepped inside the house. "Thinking of me, Bella?" She asked cheerily.

I smiled widely and put the phone down. "Actually, yes. Would you take me by the hospital for one?" I asked despite the odds she already knew.

She huffed at me. "Just because I've been… distracted… doesn't mean I'm missing everything." She said testily.

I blushed and shrugged. "I'm sorry." I muttered.

There were a few awkward moments of silence before she rubbed her face absently. "I completely missed her coming." She whispered. "You can't imagine how sorry I feel for that. I was watching for Edward so closely, that I just assumed she must have still been with the Denali coven. Since last night, I've expanded my vision to try and cover her, as well."

I frowned. "Why? She's alright with everything… isn't she?" I questioned once I noted the look on her face.

Her eyes darkened slightly and she looked out the window. "She's miserable, Bella. Jasper and I went to visit her last night, and she could barely look at us. She feels deceived by us. She feels like we should have told her before this, so she would have known what she was coming back to. I can't help but agree with her…" She whispered.

My stomach twisted with guilt, and I sighed. "Of course, we should have. I wish we would have handled this whole situation differently, but we didn't. We will fix this. All I want is a happy life with Carlisle. I only wish I wouldn't have torn down the lives of those I love to accomplish it."

Alice smiled. "You're brave, Bella. It's one of the many things I love about you. We will fix this, and things will be fine." She promised.

I grinned at her, and glanced at the clock. "Take me to work, please?" I asked.

The ride to work was a quiet one because Alice was still miles away. As selfish as it sounded, I was really starting to miss my best friend.

Work was much the same, aside from the stolen kisses and smiles from Carlisle. I didn't regret my decision to work at the hospital one bit, to say the least. When Carlisle dropped me off at my house that night, I was confused. "Why not take me to your house?" I asked dejectedly.

He smiled shyly and brought our entwined hands to his cool lips so he could press a kiss to my palm. "Alice informed me that your Dad would appreciate your company tonight." He said knowingly. "However, you know that I'll be here once he's gone to bed." He promised with a small smile.

I frowned about what my Dad could possibly want me around for, but nodded. "I look forward to it." I said softly.

He averted his eyes and bit his lip. "Till then, Beloved." He whispered before kissing me soundly. My heart raced and my head spun at his kissing expertise before he pulled away. I nodded numbly again and as I went to open my door, he was already out of the car and opening it for me. I blinked and looked around to see if anyone would have noticed that, but it appeared my worries were for nothing.

I smiled before placing my hand in the crook of his arm as he walked me to my front porch. He kissed me gently again, before leaving. I watched his tail lights disappear down the road with reluctance to go inside. I don't think it would have been cute for me to chase down his car by foot.

I sighed before opening the door slowly. "Shit!" Charlie muttered miserably from the living room. I walked in to find him plugging in, and unplugging the Christmas lights. Apparently he had one out because none of them were working.

I smiled despite myself. "Hey, Dad." I greeted while biting back a smile.

My Dad huffed before throwing the lights to the floor. "Bells." He looked to the right and I noticed a 4 foot artificial tree in the corner of the living room. "You think one set of lights will do?" He asked while holding up a spool of multicolored lights. They were apparently the only set that worked.

I shrugged. "Why not?" I pulled off my jacket and sat on the floor in the living room, decorating the last tree that my Dad and I would probably ever decorate.

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**Please review for me. I'll love it all dayyy. **


	22. Chapter 22

**Hey everyone! Sorry for the delay with this chapter, but life has been rough these past few days. I'll be going on vacation this week, so I don't think I'll be posting for at least a week after this. I'll do my very, very best though. I love you guys!**

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The next few days passed by in relative silence because of Carlisle's hectic work schedule. Thankfully, though, he still came to visit me at night.

Alice came by a few times, but she was still miles away looking for Edward's future. It was really starting to take a toll on my best friend. She would barely smile, and when she did it was forced. Everyday it got worse for her, and all I wished was that I could fix it somehow.

Before I could realize it, it was Christmas Eve, and I was helping Rosalie and Alice cook a cheesecake that I was probably going to eat all by myself. Rosalie opened the oven door in their gorgeous kitchen and I jumped.

"Wait!" I said loudly while pulling the spring form pan from her iron grip.

She quirked a golden eyebrow at me. "It's got to go in the oven, Bella. Or did you want to beat the friggin batter for another hour?" She asked miserably.

I scowled. "There is no batter. I was beating the egg whites. You don't just stick a cheesecake in the oven, it has to go in a shallow bath. Pass me that cookie sheet, please."

She handed me the sheet to which I filled it a little with water, before placing the cheesecake in the shallow water. I then put the cake in the oven. I smiled and wiped my hands on my jeans.

Alice grunted. "What the hell difference will that make?" She wondered.

I sighed. "Look, I have to eat it. I don't want a flat, cracked cheesecake if I'm going to be the only one eating." I explained.

Things went similarly the rest of the evening while we cooked sugar cookies, chocolate chip cookies, and butter cake. I was curious who was going to eat all the food, but I figured they at least enjoyed the smell of it.

Emmett wandered in the kitchen and picked up a chocolate chip cookie that had just come out of the oven. He sniffed it and grimaced, before placing the piping hot confection back on the cooling rack. "Oh, I got some melted chocolate on me! Shit, that's so gross!" He bitched while shaking his hand dramatically.

I sighed and pulled more cookies from the pan with the spatula. "No one told you to touch it. They are my cookies." I said defensively. "Just lick it off. It won't kill you." I said with a giggle.

He hesitated, then stuck his thumb in his mouth and pulled the chocolate off. The horror on his face made me laugh loudly. Licking his lips, he shrugged. "It's not quite as bad as I thought. It kinda tastes the way you smell. If that makes any sense."

I grimaced at him. "It doesn't." I promised.

Jasper walked in the kitchen and slid gracefully on the stool before fingering the melted chocolate and sticking it in his mouth. "Wow! It really does!" He said happily.

I groaned. "What does that mean? Do I smell bad to you?" I wondered.

Emmett shook his head enthusiastically and Jasper frowned. "Not really. You smell kinda floral, like freesia, I suppose. It's real sweet smelling, though. I'm not saying you'd taste like this cookie, but it tastes like your smell." He said as if it made perfect sense.

I frowned and spooned more dough on the sheet and passed it to Alice who was scowling at Jasper. "Things can't taste like how something else smells. They are two completely different senses." I argued.

Emmett looked smug. "You're not a vampire." He said happily before squishing his finger in a cookie and licking it again.

Around 11:30, Alice brought me home because Carlisle had to stay late at the hospital again. Apparently winter was the busy season at the hospital.

She smiled mischievously as we walked into my room. "Are you excited about tomorrow?" She asked with a little bounce.

I sighed. "More nervous than anything. I know it irrational, but I still feel…" I waved my hand vaguely. "I don't think it's a good enough gift. Which is why I got him a little something else…" I whispered with a flush.

Her eyes widened and her face looked surprised. "I didn't see you decide to get him anything else." She said sadly.

I shrugged. "I'll show it to you. It wasn't a huge thing to look for in my future, anyway." I promised in an effort to soothe her.

I opened my bureau and pulled out the little white box before placing it in her tiny palm. She stared at it dubiously. "You're not going to propose to him, are you?" She wondered.

I laughed heartily. "No! Alice, just open it."

She nodded and opened the lid to stare at it for a while. "Whose ring is this?" She asked.

I licked my lips worriedly and sat on my bed. "It was my great-great-grandfathers. It's been passed on through the generations of Swan's, and my Dad gave it to me because he didn't have any boys. It was only me." I said obviously. "I won't be having any children, either. So, Carlisle will be the last man in my family to wear that ring. I've already talked to my Dad about it, and he doesn't mind. As long as he gives it back if we break up." I laughed at the thought, and shrugged. My own fingers went to stroke the pendant Carlisle gave me, and I smiled as my thumb smoothed over the stone.

She smiled widely and threw her arms around my neck. "Oh, Bella you're wonderful! This is wonderful! He's going to love it!" She promised.

I smiled into her little shoulder and she pulled away. "I wasn't sure if it was a kind of weird gift… so I'm glad I showed it to you."

She flipped the lid closed and put it in her purse. "It's not weird at all. I'll wrap it tonight so it'll be ready for tomorrow. Charlie is going to come tomorrow night for dinner, right?" She asked slowly.

I nodded. "Yeah, he's going to Harry's in the afternoon, so he'll just drop me off on the way. This way I can help you cook. Seeing as how you don't even eat, I think it's only fair."

She waved her hand dismissively. "Please, don't even worry about it. I love to cook and entertain. It makes me feel almost human." She said with a giggle. "I'm sorry for the boys making you… uncomfortable. I know Jasper and Emmett were being… well, vampires."

I laughed and nudged her. "Hey, you know? I'd rather Jasper be honest with me. I like it when you guys are yourselves around me. I hate putting you out sometimes. I usually feel like I'm preventing you all from doing things you'd like or talking about things you think. Apart from what deer tastes like, I'll listen." I promised.

She sighed dreamily. "It tastes musky and sweet, with a hint of greenery like wet Earth. Possibly the smell of dew on the grass in the morning." She explained.

I gaped. "I said apart from what deer tastes like." I repeated and she laughed.

When Charlie got home, Alice made him promise again to come by for dinner. Charlie grunted in response, but I knew he couldn't deny Alice.

Around midnight I decided to call it a night. Charlie was snoring on the couch, so I unplugged the Christmas tree and turned off the kitchen lights. He looked way comfortable, so I went upstairs without waking him.

I took a quick shower, and blow dried my hair so I wouldn't go to bed with wet hair. Before I put my clothes back on, I stood in the mirror and dissected my appearance. I was pale, but there was nothing I could do about that.

I still didn't have a speck of hair from the waist down thanks to Alice. I bit my lip and ran my fingertips over my less-than-abundant breasts. I slid my fingers down over my flat, yet soft, stomach.

I didn't know why I was doing this to myself. I wanted Carlisle more than anything, and it was more than clear he felt the same. Yet, I could manage to work myself up and worry for nothing.

I slid my underwear on and pulled my tank top over my head and smiled at my reflection, trying my best to look seductive. I huffed when I realized how ridiculous I looked.

Giving up, I stomped to my room and shut the door behind me. Carlisle was probably working really late and wouldn't stop by afterwards. My stomach heaved a little with disappointment, but I figured it was best.

There was something I had to try, anyway.

I laid on my bed and shut off the light. Alice mentioned that if I still had my hymen it would prove a bit difficult for Carlisle, even with his legendary control. I already made him lose his shit a few times, and we weren't even having sex yet. Never mind if I was bleeding while we were intimate.

My body flushed as I thought of the times he'd lost his cool. His eyes darkened, and positively glittered at me. His cool fingers as they worked my breasts, and other more intimate parts of me.

I slipped my fingertips over my breasts and moaned quietly while another wave of heat made my whole body tingle. I thought of his mouth as it devoured mine, and how it had felt when he slid his tongue deep inside my body.

My stomach clenched and I slid my fingertips between my legs, and gently rubbed. My thighs quaked with satisfaction and impatience at the same time. I palmed my breast again with my other hand, and rubbed harder. "Carlisle." I breathed while I imagined his length nestled against the apex of my thighs. This time tomorrow night, I would find out what it felt like to have him fill me.

The thought made me moan again before I slipped my fingers inside my body. I was so, so wet, and it felt so good. I pressed my fingers deeper and slid another finger inside, while using my thumb to rub against my sensitive bud.

There was some pressure when I pressed more deeply, but it gave way and I groaned at how wonderful it felt. My legs trembled slightly, and I whispered Carlisle's name as I climaxed thoroughly. I clenched around my fingers a few times before I removed my hand from my underwear and sighed. My heart was racing and my body was tired. Not to mention, I was sore.

I flicked on the light, and gasped when I realized Carlisle was standing intensely next to the rocker on the other side of the room. I flushed with embarrassment, and went to cover my face. I stopped when I realized I had blood on my fingertips. I swallowed hard, and stammered out a few incoherent noises.

How horridly embarrassing.

He swallowed tightly, and I realized he was not breathing.

I sighed. "If… If this is… hard for you… You can leave." I whispered.

His eyes flicked to my bloody fingertips and he inhaled deeply. "I've never seen anything more beautiful than what I just saw." He said with such intensity it made me blush.

I moved to get up, but he stopped me with his body pinning me to the bed. I moaned at the feel of his jean clad erection grazing my over sensitive flesh before his mouth devoured mine with such ferocity I wasn't sure if I should encourage him.

I wound my fingers in his golden hair gently before smoothing my fingertips over his face.

It was meant as a soothing gesture, but I kept forgetting the state my fingertips were in.

He growled ferally, before pulling my hand from his face. He looked at me with disbelief before slowly, slowly, running his tongue over my fingers. His eyes rolled into his head and he shuddered. My breathing was labored with arousal and apprehension.

I wasn't sure this was such a good idea, but it was so, so fucking sexy.

He pulled my fingertips into his mouth and cleaned them thoroughly. His eyes were glittering at me, while his hips pressed aggressively against mine. My breasts ached with need for him, but I was unsure of how to proceed. I was unsure if this was still my Carlisle.

He pressed his face to my neck and inhaled deeply while his hips increased their tempo. My body was strung so tightly I wasn't sure I'd survive a climax like this.

The growl in his chest deepened when I tentatively reached between us and palmed him through his jeans. His eyes squeezed shut and his face nestled between my breasts. I quickly opened his fly and pulled him free while he ripped my tank top in half. I jumped at the tearing of fabric, but sighed when his mouth worked my nipples to the point of almost pain.

The tension in my body was mounting and retracting like it was another person in the room. His touch was setting me on fire over and over, and I moaned while gripping him tightly in my palm before tugging him roughly.

His hips jerked forcefully in response and he pulled his face away from my neck with what appeared to be great reluctance.

"Oh, God. Bella, too much. I can't. I can't." He whispered brokenly while the low growl still emanated from deep in his chest.

I rubbed the tip of his length against my wet underwear suggestively before he lunged forward and nestled himself against my soaked underwear. He slid his length aggressively against me, and my legs trembled with my imminent release.

I looked him in the eyes while my hand traveled between our bodies and I pressed my fingers over his erection, so he was nestled against me more firmly.

He shuddered at the new friction. "Fuck, Bella." He whispered.

I thrust my hips up to his harder, and the tip of his length kept rubbing my bundle of nerves repeatedly. Without warning, I climaxed harder than I thought possible. My legs trembled, and my center contracted violently.

He shifted one last time, before I felt cool fluid land on my exposed breasts. It should have possibly repulsed me, but instead it made me ache for him again.

He sat still for a moment, even though I knew he didn't need recovery time. I sat up slowly, and tiredly before tipping his chin up so I could read his expression.

I gasped when I realized it was regret.

"What…" I started, but he shook his head.

He frowned and licked his lips before sitting back on his heels at the foot of my bed. "That was wonderful, Bella. It can't happen again." He said sadly.

I grimaced and nodded, because we certainly were playing with fire.

His face was hard with emotion. "I should never have… but you… God, Bella you're taste is like ambrosia. Nectar of the Gods." He whispered passionately. "I can't be putting you in danger like that." He whispered to himself.

I licked my sore lips and frowned. "Well, I was trying to make things easier for when we have… sex." I whispered. "I thought I could save you from having to deal with this at all, but I didn't know you were watching." I mumbled.

He chuckled and some lightness returned to his eyes. "I'm thankful you're so… thoughtful. I can't say I regret seeing that, though." His eyes darkened a shade and he sighed. "I didn't hurt you, did I?" He whispered.

I shook my head and fell back against my pillows. I was utterly exhausted. I patted the side of the bed next to me, and he reluctantly laid down next to me.

He rested his cool face against my shoulder, and I wrapped my arm around his neck so I could run my fingers through his hair. Just his scent alone could calm me, never mind when we were close like this.

He pulled my blankets over my legs and splayed his fingers over my stomach. His hand nearly spanned my entire width.

I sighed sleepily and smiled before pressing a gentle kiss to his forehead. "I'm sorry if that was too much for you. I never want you to be in a position like that. I would never have done it if I thought you'd be stopping by." I mumbled.

He chuckled quietly. "I could deduce that by the blush you're entire body managed when you noticed I was in the room."

I blushed again and pulled him tighter to myself. I glanced at the clock and noticed it was just after midnight.

I leaned over him and kissed him gently, and thoroughly. "Merry Christmas, Carlisle." I whispered against his lips.

He smiled and pulled my face back to his to kiss my lips, my jaw, my neck. "Merry Christmas, Bella. My beloved." He sighed into my neck before resting his fingers over my pendant.

I fell asleep in his arms, with the final thought that I could never, ever lose Carlisle.

Forever with him wouldn't be long enough.

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**Just so everyone knows, the next chapter will be lemony too. But ROMANTIC lemony. You know. ;]**

**Reviews make Carlisle lose his shit.**


	23. Chapter 23

**Hello, Everyone. I know it's been a while but I've been on Vacation. I needed a serious break from work and things, and I had no time to write. This Chapter was originally going to be upwards of eight thousand words. So, regretfully, I cut the lemon and put it in the next chapter. There was just too much goodness to leave in with the opening gifts and everything else. So sorry, kids. Next chapter, I promise.**

"Bella." Someone whispered directly into my ear. "Bella." I groaned and rolled over to make it obvious I was still tired. I heard Carlisle's signature chuckle and I cracked an eye open to look at him. He smiled gently before smoothing his fingers down the side of my face.

"What's wrong?" I asked groggily. I sat up and pulled the blankets over my exposed chest only to find, to my dismay, they were stuck to me. "Oh." I managed.

He smiled wider and I noticed his eyes were almost orange today. "That's what I woke you up early about. I figured you would like to be awake before Charlie…" He gestured with his hand to the mess that was my bed before shrugging gracefully. "Bella…" He said in an apologetic tone.

"No!" I whispered to him while I placed my fingertip over his smooth lips. "Don't apologize to me. Last night was incredible. I won't lie to you and tell you I wasn't a bit concerned, because I was." I explained. His face pinched into one of regret and I climbed onto his lap to look him in the eye. "Let me finish. I was concerned, yes. I wasn't sure if it was going to be too much for you. I trust you, though. With everything I have, I trust you. So I knew you wouldn't push it if you couldn't handle it. I love seeing you like that." I whispered dreamily while leaning over to kiss his high cheekbones. "I was telling Alice just yesterday that I sometimes feel like I hold you and your family back. I feel like you don't act the way you normally would, or talk the way you normally would simply because I'm there."

He chuckled quietly. "In some regards, you're right. We slow our speech so you understand our conversations. For the most part, we keep our movements slow so you feel at ease. We hardly want to surprise you every time we enter a room." He whispered while his fingers smoothed my tangled hair from my face. "You're eyes are the most beautiful brown… so clear." He added offhandedly.

I blushed and shook my head. "Don't distract me!" I accused with a quick poke of my finger against his sternum. "You see? That's what I mean. It's your house! I want you all to act the way you normally do. Don't let me put you out of your own home. Last night was incredible because I saw you. The real you. I know you try hard to suppress that side of your nature, and I'm not saying I want you to be a total savage…" I bit my lip and shook my head. Perhaps I should have left this conversation for a time when I wasn't half-asleep.

His eyebrow quirked and he smiled gently. "You mean you like it when I lose my cool a little?" He concluded. My eyebrows knit together in confusion, because that was exactly what I meant.

"H-how did you…?" I stuttered. He bit his lip and averted his eyes from me. Uh-oh. Carlisle was blushing. "What did I say last night while I was sleeping?" I blushed furiously when I thought of the possibilities.

He chuckled quietly for a moment before he released his lower lip from his teeth. His orangey eyes slid back to my own and I sighed. "You… told me I was 'so fucking sexy'…" He said slowly while a blush crept up my exposed chest.

I nodded agreeably. "Well, you knew I thought that."

He smiled that panty-dropping smile of his. "Oh, yes. Then you said, 'love when you lose your shit.' and I didn't understand the context of that until the moaning started."

I stood up abruptly and my cheeks flamed red. "Oh, no." I said miserably.

In an instant he was right in front of me, his face inches from mine. "There's nothing to be embarrassed about. I was horribly embarrassed of myself last night, even after you fell asleep. I was so worried that I had gone to far, that you wouldn't look at me the same way today." His words were so quiet and fast I was almost having a hard time keeping up. "Then you started talking about it…" He chuckled quietly and pulled my hips against his. "I knew right then that you thoroughly enjoyed it. I wanted to wake you up and have an encore, but I knew you needed your rest."

I smiled gently and my blush got a little less heated. He leaned forward and kissed me deeply before pulling away. "Your Dad will be getting up soon." He whispered. "I'll see you in a bit?" He whispered against my lips.

I flicked my tongue out and kissed him again. "If I could get dressed and come with you right now, I would." I promised.

He pulled away from me to wrap me in my quilt before he popped my window open to jump out. An intensely chilly breeze blew into the room and I shivered. "I'll see you in a bit." I promised.

He smiled at me almost longingly before he jumped gracefully from the window. I watched him for a few seconds until I could no longer see him before I slid the window shut.

After that, I gathered my bed sheets and random clothes around my room so I could wash them. I pulled off my ruined camisole and threw on a tee shirt and sweatpants. My room kind of smelled like sex, and I was worried that my Dad could notice these things.

I threw my sheets in the wash with extra detergent and fabric softener. That would surely help. After that, I started a pot of coffee and went upstairs to have a long shower. I took my time and made sure that every inch of me was clean and smelled amazing. I threw on another tee shirt and some jogging pants before tackling my room with Febreez. I sprayed my bed, the floor, my curtains, literally everything. Score for me, my room now smelled like Apple-Mango-Tango.

I went downstairs and switched the load of wash over to the dryer and started my load of clothes.

I did all this, and it wasn't even seven yet. I smiled to myself while I read my worn copy of 'Pride and Prejudice'. I read for some time before I heard my Dad making his way slowly downstairs. I set my book on the small coffee table before taking another sip of my now cold coffee. "Merry Christmas, Dad."

He smiled and nodded sleepily. "Merry Christmas, Bells." He croaked. "Why are you up so early? You don't need to be at Carlisle's to help cook, do you?" He asked.

I contained my surprise at Charlie actually referring to Carlisle as 'Carlisle'. It was possibly the first time he didn't say 'Dr. Cullen' or worse, 'Edward's Dad'. I shook my head in answer to his question. "No, Dad. I was just anxious, I guess. I woke up and thought I had forgot someone with Christmas shopping." I lied.

He grunted. "Don't worry about it. If you forgot someone, you stick a twenty in a card and call it a day."

I laughed, because doing something like that was all Charlie. "Yeah, I guess you're right."

The rest of the morning passed in relative quiet. I made Charlie and I bacon and eggs while he buttered our toast. After cleaning up, I went upstairs to get dressed. Alice bought me an outfit that I wasn't too crazy about. She promised me I looked amazing in it, though. It was a deep red cashmere dress, though it was so close fitting I could hardly call it a dress. It came to just above my knee, and had zero flare to the skirt part. The dress was long sleeved, but the deep V-neck plunged down low enough that I had to buy a special bra that was demi-cup because the tops of regular bras would show. There was no mistake, I looked gorgeous in it.

I pulled on my red seamless bikini cut underwear, and slid on the tiny little red bra that went with it, before I slid the dress carefully over my head. I didn't want to stretch it all out trying to get it on.

I went into the bathroom and pulled a straightening iron through my hair, and smiled at the result. I looked so much older. My hair was thick, and when it was straightened it looked so healthy. I pulled some mousse through my locks before putting on smoky eyeliner and shadow just like Alice showed me.

I didn't bother with panty hose, so to complete the look I pulled on my black tiny heeled boots that hugged half-way up my calves. I stood and looked at my reflection with complete satisfaction.

I made my way (carefully) down the stairs and blushed at the expression on my Dad's face.

"You're sure turning out to be quite the young lady." He mumbled proudly. "Where's the rest of the top of that dress?" He asked miserably.

I blushed. "Dad!"

"Sorry, kiddo." This time he blushed, and I realized I was more like my Dad than I thought. "I was just getting ready to leave, so I was wondering if you were ready?"

I glanced around to see if I had forgotten something, and nodded. "Yeah, I think I'm good."

I grabbed my knee length black jacket out of the closet and wrapped it around myself while my Dad threw on his old jacket. "What, did Alice buy you that dress?" He asked.

"Dad!" I yelled.

After an intensely slow drive to the Cullen's house, we finally pulled into their drive-way. Nothing slows down traffic like a police car.

"You tell little Alice I'll be by around 6. I'll have eaten already, so make sure no one here waits for me. Alright?"

I nodded. "Alright. Drive carefully, okay?" He nodded briskly while I did my best to get out of the cruiser like a lady. I walked slowly up their drive-way and was greeted by Carlisle leaning against the frame of the porch outside.

"Hello, beautiful." He remarked casually while my Dad backed up out of the driveway.

I smiled widely and ascended the stairs, eager to press my lips against my insanely gorgeous boyfriend. I turned quickly and noticed my Dad was not in sight anymore, so I threw myself at him.

I kissed him eagerly while my fingers did a little walking down his backside. He had a glorious backside. He pulled away, looking surprised. "Well! I wish I got greeted like that everyday." He said through a chuckle. He smoothed his fingers through my straightened hair. "This looks amazing. I've never seen you with anything but curls." He sighed.

I blushed and slid my gaze approvingly down his slender form. He was wearing blue, and that was my absolute favorite color on him. I noticed he was wearing dark-wash jeans and a close-fitting sweater. He looked so young. "I've actually never straightened it before. Alice bought it for me, and told me how to use it." I said with a laugh.

He walked me into the house with my arm tucked under his and I sighed at the amazing warmth in the home. He held out his arms as if to take my coat, and I smiled widely.

I unbuttoned the three buttons on the black pea coat and untied the sash around my waist before pulling the coat open and sliding it down my arms.

The look on his face was one I don't think I could ever forget. His jaw gaped, and his eyes darkened immediately. His eyes roamed me freely, undecided on where to settle their gaze. I fluffed my hair gently, and smiled as he inhaled deeply.

A low growl emitted from inside his chest and my heart sped at the noise. "My God, Bella." He whispered.

I smiled my best sultry smile and shrugged. "See something you like, my love?" I asked while I twirled slowly in place.

He swallowed tightly and pulled my hips to his. "Everything, yes." He whispered approvingly. I smiled widely at him while he leaned in to kiss me gently. "Surely I've done something good to deserve the affections of the most gorgeous woman I've ever seen." He wondered to no one in particular.

I flushed bright red and sighed. I turned to face the living room and blushed more furiously when I noticed everyone was sitting there stock-still listening in to our conversation. "Merry Christmas, everyone." I managed with an enthusiastic wave.

Alice smiled and danced over to me. "Oh, Bella!" She said happily as she hugged me gently. I smiled and squeezed her back.

Jasper nodded politely at me and smiled genuinely. "Merry Christmas." He said quietly.

Rosalie gave a little wave and slide her eyes down my outfit before mouthing 'nice' at me with a thumbs up. I blushed and cringed when I realized Emmett was doing the same thing.

"You came over here wearing that?" Emmett asked.

"Uh, Yeah. Why?" I questioned while walking over to the table to pull out one of the chocolate chip cookies that we had baked yesterday.

His eyebrows slid into his hairline. "Bella! You're like my sister! I'll have to kill everyone that saw you wearing that, now." He said miserably.

My heart rate sped up and I shook my head. "You just… sit there… and don't do that." I encouraged.

He bit back a smile and shrugged. "Alright. Lookin' good, Bells." He promised.

I ate my cookie and shrugged before paying attention to the game they were playing.

Bowling. That figured.

I laughed when I noticed Rosalie's Mii now had a unibrow, too.

She chuckled when she realized what I was laughing about. "I know! I keep changing it back and Jazz keeps resetting it. I decided I just don't care anymore!" She said with an almost playful giggle.

I smiled while Carlisle came and sat with me on the couch. He wrapped an arm around my waist and I sighed happily. His scent alone made me tingle everywhere, and I couldn't get over how much I loved the man sitting next to me.

Jasper's eyes widened before flicking to me. "Carlisle, you have no idea how lucky you are to have a woman love you like she does." He said with his drawl. I blushed mildly and bit my lip.

Carlisle seemed surprised at Jasper's comment and he smiled. "I know how lucky I am." He promised in his silky tone. Emmett stood up abruptly and turned to us.

"Presents?" He asked with a childish note to his voice.

I laughed and shrugged while Carlisle nodded. "Em, you're a grown man. Do what you want." He concluded with a chuckle.

Emmett bounded to the garage door and waved at me. "Come get your presents!" He said happily.

I quirked an eyebrow at him and shrugged. Maybe they kept some of the presents in the garage to save space in the living room. I wouldn't doubt it for a moment with the Cullen's.

I stood slowly and walked at a reasonable pace due to my heels. Everyone else, aside from Carlisle who had my arm in the crook of his, beat me into the garage.

I walked inside and gasped at what I saw.

A huge black Chevy truck sat inside the garage with a red bow on the hood. It was lifted possibly 3 inches, with huge tires on it. There was a neat little chrome step so that whoever drove it didn't have to climb inside, they could step up into it. There was an awesome rack of lights strapped to the roof, and two stack exhausts coming out of the bed of the truck. The truck wasn't new by any means, but it was certainly jacked up.

I breathed. "This is so, so awesome!" I exclaimed happily. "Whose is it?" I asked happily.

Everyone chuckled and I frowned. "It's your truck, Bella." Carlisle explained helpfully.

My jaw gaped wider and I shook my head. "No. No fucking way." I said slowly while excitement practically burst out of me.

Emmett jumped happily. "It sure is! Me and Rosie did most of the work to it ourselves!" He exclaimed. "We got the truck because it's four by four, and it's practically rust-free."

Rosalie gave a happy bounce. "You love it. Oh, I'm so glad for it!" She said with a wide smile that made her look exactly like a beauty pageant finalist, and not a grease monkey like she really was.

"Thank you guys, so much. It's way too much, but I can't say I don't love it because it's so fucking perfect." I said crudely. I was babbling and I felt happy tears leak down my face. Before I could realize it, I had several happy vampires hugging me and making cooing noises. It was a little condescending, but hardly something I could complain about.

I'd be driving home in that bad-ass truck. As soon as I could get it registered.

I threw my arms around Carlisle's neck and kissed him several times. "Thank you, it's perfect." I whispered into his cool neck.

He chuckled quietly and lifted me gently. "Anything for you, my Bella." He promised.

We went back inside after Emmett showed me everything in it, and under the hood that they had altered. I was jumping in the drivers seat, completely anxious to take it out. I made him promise that he would take me off roading with it really soon, and he agreed with an excited, "Fuck yeah."

When I got back to the sofa, I realized Alice was already wearing the charm bracelet I bought for her. "Hey!" I said with an accusing finger pointed at the jewelry.

She shrugged with an apologetic smile on her face. "At least you know I love it." She defended. She was lucky I was in a good mood about the truck, or else I would have probably been mad.

Everyone was opening gifts around me, and Carlisle handed me a huge box. I took it and my jaw hung when I realized how heavy it was. I looked at the tag and realized it was a gift from Carlisle, to me.

I shook my head. "Really? The truck was way too much. You hardly had to get me anything else." I whispered. I had technically only bought him one thing, if you didn't count me getting my hoochie waxed.

He smiled handsomely and his eyes twinkled. "I didn't have to get you anything else, you're right. I wanted to get you this. As well as a few other things. Everything reminds me of you, and it's difficult to reign myself in sometimes." He whispered the last part, and bit his lip. I could feel a Carlisle Blush coming, and I smiled.

I opened the wrapping slowly, and slid the lid off the box. I was immediately greeted with the smell of really old books. I knew all about that smell. I pulled the white fabric over what was in the box, and I gasped.

It was four Jane Austen novels; Sense and Sensibility, Pride and Prejudice, Mansfield Park, and Emma. I lifted them carefully and realized these had to be insanely old.

I looked to him questioningly and the smile that lit his face made my heart sputter. "They are all first editions. Sense and Sensibility in 1811, Pride and Prejudice in 1813, Mansfield Park in 1814, and Emma in 1815. The Pride and Prejudice Edition is signed by Jane Austen herself, and it comes with a certificate of authenticity." He explained with a gentle finger extended towards said certificate.

I couldn't manage a single response. The gift was so considerate, and outrageous, and amazingly wonderful, I hardly thought a 'thank you' would cover it. A few tears leaked from the corner of my eyes and I sputtered out a shaky breath. I stood and put the box carefully on the end table before sitting in Carlisle's lap and kissing him thoroughly.

I pulled back and rested my forehead against his. "That is the most wonderfully amazing thing I've ever gotten. I love it. Thank you." I whispered as meaningfully as I possibly could. I sounded a little sniffly but he smiled widely.

He tipped my face up and kissed me again. "I hardly meant to make you cry." He chuckled.

I shook my head and sat back further on his lap. I had no real intentions of going back to the couch.

"Fuck yeah!" Emmett yelled. I jumped out of my emotional high and looked at his hands to see what the big deal was. My gift to him, Super Mario Party.

I laughed loudly as he read the back of the game intensely and nodded a few times. "Up to four people can play at the same time. I call dibs on Luigi." He said pointedly.

Rosalie was engrossed in the back cover of the True Blood first season. She looked up when she realized I was watching her and she smiled. "This is awesome. Thank you." She said quite meaningfully.

I shrugged. "I'm a FangBanger, after all." Emmett snorted and Carlisle grunted behind me.

Carlisle handed me another box, and I shook it playfully. It was definitely clothing of some kind. I tore open the wrapper and made a face at the jacket that was inside. It looked like any other fleece jacket with some kind of weird lining inside of it. There were pants made of the exact same material. I looked to Carlisle and he smiled. "There are electric cords that run through the jacket. It's a heated jacket, meant to keep you really warm in severe cold weather. I think it'll come in handy." He promised with a twinkle in his eyes. I nodded and smiled while wondering where we would go that I would need that. I bet it would come in handy even now.

Once everyone was more or less done opening gifts, I reached over and grabbed the little box that contained my great-great-grandfather's ring. My heart thudded insanely in my chest and I breathed deeply to calm my poor nerves.

He would love it. Alice assured me of it.

I handed it to him slowly, and his golden eyebrow quirked at the size of the box. "It's for you." I whispered.

He opened the wrapping to it with no effort before popping the lid open. The ring looked somewhat different than when I had entrusted it to Alice yesterday. It was insanely shiny, and it looked very polished. The thick gold band that had a few emeralds embedded in the flat surface of the ring seemed to sparkle no matter how you turned it. Quite unlike yesterday.

He regarded the gorgeous ring and looked to me. "It was my great-great-grandfather's ring. His wife had bought it for him, and they had passed it on to each generation of Swan men, until it ended up with Charlie. Charlie can't have anymore children, and I'm all he's got. So he gave it to me. For obvious reasons, I'll never have kids, either. So you'll be the last man in my family to ever wear that ring." I finished with a thick wad of tears clogging the back of my throat.

His mouth opened and closed a few times and for a moment I thought he was going to refuse. "I sometimes forget everything you'll be giving up to have me." He said quietly.

I shook my head and pulled his hand in my lap. "That's not why I want to give you that. I want you to have it. I want you to be the only man that wears that ring. I'm in love with you, Carlisle. Or didn't you notice?" I said with a smile.

His mouth quirked and he pulled the ring out and tried it on the right hand ring finger. It fit perfectly. "This means more to me than you'd ever imagine. It's incredibly disinheriting that the Swan family will end with your Father, but I will be honored to wear this as a reminder of your heritage. Thank you for this, Bella. Thank you for including me in your family." He concluded thoughtfully.

I leaned over from my spot perched in his lap and kissed him soundly. I wove my fingers through his silky hair and sighed into his mouth. One hand rested behind my back while the other, the one that now wore my family ring, rested over my pounding heart.

I pulled away and kissed him several times; his cheeks, his chin, his neck. A delicate throat clearing itself pulled me away from my exploration of Carlisle with my lips.

Alice raised a delicate eyebrow. "I was just… going to say that I had it sized appropriately. I also had it cleaned and polished, so it's ready for eternity on his hand." She said happily.

My heart sputtered at the thought and I licked my lips with anticipation. I was going to get forever with the love of my life. Not everyone was so lucky.

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**A/N: There you go! Sorry for the wait on it, you guys. I'm almost done with the next chapter. But I really want this lemon to be right. So, In a few days I hope. In the meantime, please review. I love it alllll day.**


	24. Chapter 24

Hello everyone! I'm sorry for the delay with this chapter, but it just would NOT write itself. Usually Ive had no problems with the smuttier aspects of this story, but not this time. Anyway, heres the finished product, and I've beta'ed it myself, over and over. Thank you to all who've commented and added me to their favorites. It encourages me to do better!

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Around six, my Dad finally made it over the house. He and I ate the cheesecake I made, and we stuffed our faces with butter cake as well. He had brought over a bottle of wine for Carlisle, as well as cards with a twenty in each for all of the kids. I had laughed at that, but it was so Charlie. He bought me a tiny little Dell laptop, that he insisted I needed for when I went to college. I had blushed at that, because I had no intention of going to college just yet. He couldn't know that, though.

We opened presents with him, and he seemed overwhelmed with everything they had gotten him. A new tackle box, a rain-resistant jacket, the fishing pole I got him, as well as a fifty dollar gift certificate to the Lodge. He seemed really pleased, if not a little uncertain.

"What did you get, Bells?" Charlie asked while eating another slice of cheesecake.

I blushed furiously and shrugged. "You want to see?" I asked. I figured he'd have to know about it eventually, if I'd be driving it home soon.

I stood up and waved him over to the garage door and he grimaced. My heart pounded with anxiety as he walked in and beheld the monster truck that was now my own.

He didn't say anything for a while, nor eat any more of the cheesecake. After what felt like forever he sucked his teeth. "That's mighty generous of them." He said.

I nodded. "Carlisle bought the truck, but the kids all paid to fix it up. Rosalie did most of the work herself." I explained.

His mouth gaped. "Rosalie fixed this up? Well, ain't that something." He said with an approving nod. "Be careful with it, okay?" He made me promise.

I bit my lip and blushed. "Well, Emmett said we'd go wheeling with it."

He turned kind of purple for a moment but relaxed. "You tell him to watch out for you." He said with his Charlie-the-Chief tone.

I sighed. "I will, Dad."

After another hour of eating and playing with gifts, Alice abruptly turned to my Dad and smiled innocently. "It would be really super if Bella could stay here tonight. We were going to watch some True Blood and maybe play Mario Party, if that would be alright." Her tiny little voice was as innocent and truthful as she could muster.

My Dad hesitated for a few moments before nodding. "Of course, Alice. It's been a long time since she's been here, hasn't it." He finally concluded.

I almost sputtered on a breath. I couldn't believe he agreed, even if Alice was his favorite.

She smiled happily and danced. "Yay! Bella!" She giggled while wrapping herself around me. Charlie seemed mighty pleased at the prospect of Alice keeping me busy all night. If he only knew.

I smiled happily and held Alice's tiny arms that were around my waist. "Thanks, Dad."

Around ten he decided to head back to the house. I hugged him goodbye and helped him carry his gifts out to the cruiser. "Don't keep Alice up all night." He said sternly.

I snorted. "You should have said that to her, not me." I said with a laugh.

He seemed to approve of my answer, so he nodded and got inside his car. I gave a gentle wave as he pulled out of the drive-way.

I hopped back inside the house because it was way too cold outside to be standing around.

"The hell with you, I get to be Luigi." Jasper drawled.

"It's my God damn game!" Emmett retorted childishly. "Be one of those puffy marshmallow things." He laughed. "That's all you, bro."

Jasper laughed. "It's a mushroom. And I don't give a hoot anymore. Just hit start." He argued.

I laughed as I walked up the stairs to Carlisle's study. Alice intercepted me, and thrust a notebook into my chest. I glared at her for a moment before reading.

_Get Carlisle to use his room._

_His is the only room with an attached bathroom._

_Your nightgown is in the cabinet in the bathroom. No one ever uses that bathroom, so take all the time you want._

_Things will go perfectly, don't worry!_

_Oh, you're welcome, by the way._

I glanced up from the notebook and handed it back to her with a gentle nod of my head. I hugged her thankfully before letting her go. I headed to Carlisle's study and was about to knock, but his gentle voice called me in before I could.

I opened the door slowly and found him sitting thoughtfully at his desk. There were no work papers in front of him, so I knew he was just thinking. I wasn't sure if I should be concerned or not.

"Is everything alright?" I asked quietly while shifting my feet.

He smiled warmly, and stood to walk over to the sofa in front of the fireplace. He sat down gently and tapped the spot next to him. I walked over and sat down in his lap without hesitation. He pulled me tighter to himself immediately and kissed my shoulder. "I'm sorry I'm being distant. I'm just…" His gentle voice drifted off, and he didn't finish his thought.

I licked my lips and smoothed my fingers over his chest. "You miss the rest of your family. Esme. Edward." I concluded quietly.

He gave me a gentle smile. "Not Esme as much as you'd think. My son, however… This is the first Christmas I've gone without him in almost ninety years. I'm worried for him, and for the future relationship I'll more than likely have with him." He frowned. "Or perhaps I should say the lack of relationship I'll have with him." He concluded.

I wasn't sure how to respond. Of course, I missed Edward. I missed him because he was a good friend. I missed him because I wanted to see Carlisle happy. I swallowed tightly and pulled the sleeves of my dress.

His eyes flicked to the movement and he stilled my hands. "Remember when you asked me if I would give up my family to have my soul mate?" He asked slowly.

My heart thumped with worry as my stomach heaved. I couldn't respond with words, so I nodded.

His eyes widened and he pulled my face to his so he could kiss me gently. "There's nothing to worry about. I'm not bringing it up because of that…" He whispered. "It's just… I know now, without a doubt, I would do it. Weighing my losses with Edward or you. Without Edward I'd be miserable. Without you, however, I'd no longer have any meaning in this world. So I feel insanely selfish for wishing I could have both." He whispered against my neck.

I pulled his face away so I could see his expression. "I'm so sorry, Carlisle. If I could make this easier for you, I would. It's not selfish at all to wish you could have your son and the person you love. I only wish I'd never have pursued Edward at all. But… then I'd never have met you, either. Everything has brought us where we are now. There is nowhere else I'd rather be than right here, with you." His eyes were positively glittering, and I leaned forward to press my lips against his smooth ones.

He returned the kiss with a gentle demeanor. His tongue carefully explored my mouth, while his hands shifted me so I was straddling his lap. My dress wasn't made for sitting this way, so it slid up my thighs and rested bunched up at my waist.

His hands smoothed over my exposed thighs, and he pulled my hips tighter against his own. The kiss became slightly more urgent, and the low fire that had started in my blood turned into an all-out inferno.

Then I remembered what Alice had told me. I pulled away breathlessly and his mouth automatically moved down the column of my throat while his hands cupped my breasts gently through my dress. "Carlisle?" I managed.

He continued kissing and nibbling, and I almost said to hell with it. "Hmm?" He questioned while he raised his dark eyes to mine from the valley between my breasts. The neckline of this dress was insane.

"Could we maybe… go to your room?" I asked with mild hesitation.

He immediately stopped his ministrations and pulled away from my chest. "This _is_ my room." He said, as it if was obvious.

My heart thudded and I shifted over his lap. "I mean your bedroom. Is there a… personal reason… that I've never been in your room?" I asked quietly.

He looked mildly surprised. "Well, yes. That hasn't been my room in possibly fifteen years. It was… Esme's. Alice has been working on it, though. She told me that I should have it back. I don't really know what the progress on it has been, though." He said sincerely.

Alice had to be finished if she suggested using the room, right? I mulled that over for a moment, and he sighed. Apparently he took my silence as uncertainty about his explanation. "Let's go see what she's done to it, shall we? Then we'll go to your room…" He said with a smile as his mouth descended down the column of my neck.

I stood off of him with shaky legs. At this point, I didn't care where we were.

We walked down the corridor and around the balcony that oversaw the living room, before going down another wide corridor. I was certain I could manage getting lost in this house.

He opened the door slowly and gasped at the room. I hadn't seen how it looked before, but I was sure it didn't look like this. The walls were done in a really dark, muted blue. All the accent woodwork was in pure white, and there was an enormous bed in the middle of the room. There were really cool black and white photos of various places that I'd never been hung strategically on the walls, and I sighed at how peaceful the room was.

"I'm guessing this wasn't what the room looked like before?" I chanced.

He smiled and walked over to the wall to look at the pictures. "I wouldn't believe it was the same room if I hadn't have walked here myself. Come here for a moment." He beckoned with a gentle wave of his hand. I walked over and stood next to him while he pointed to a photo of a gorgeous home. It looked similar to this one, only it was more contemporary. "This is our home in Maine. You'll see it someday, I promise." He said with a bemused expression on his face. He pointed to a different photo, this one of a strange looking cart with three wheels. "This is a photo of my very first car, ever. I bought it in 1888 in France, and it was terribly slow. It's a Benz Patent Motorwagen." He recalled with a twinkle in his eyes.

A little chuckle bubbled out of my lips. "Wait. A _Benz_? Like a Mercedes Benz?" I asked slowly. I couldn't speak Car and Driver, but I could connect the dots.

He averted his eyes and bit his lip with a gentle nod of his head. "My first car was a Mercedes. I supposed I've stuck with them ever since." He replied.

My jaw gaped. "You mean I'm going to drive around Chevy trucks for the rest of eternity? Oh, hell." I bitched with a smile on my face.

He turned to me and grinned at the thought. His arms wove around my waist, and he pulled me to him. "You'll have anything you desire, Bella." He whispered intensely. "Anything."

My body flushed with heat as I took in the look in his dark eyes, and the meaning behind the words. "I desire you…" I whispered quietly while my arms circled his neck.

He growled lowly and bent to kiss me gently. "Beloved, you have me." He promised. He leaned forward and kissed me again, his tongue brushed against my own expertly. He picked me up, and in a quick second we were at the foot of his massive bed. His hands slid down my legs, and he pulled away to shuck my boots from my feet. I wiggled my toes happily, and he chuckled at the movement.

He kissed his way up my ankles, to my knees before dragging his tongue up the inside of my thigh. I shuddered at the feeling as warmth spread through my body.

He inhaled and licked his lips while I sat up. "Let me take this off." I encouraged while pulling gently at the fabric of my dress.

His eyes darkened more, and he leaned on his side while I stood off the bed. I realized he was totally engrossed in the idea of this process, so I was going to make sure to do it right.

I fluffed my hair, which had nothing to do with anything. I stood with my back to him, as I leaned over to pull the bottom of my dress up. I did this slowly, and I made sure to touch as much of my skin and legs as I could in the process. Once the dress was over my head, I turned slowly to him to see if my little strip-tease had worked.

His eyes were almost black and his jaw was tight. I slid my gaze down his narrow frame and realized his pants were awfully tight, as well. I palmed the cups of my demi-bra and moaned.

In an instant, he was in front of me. I almost jumped, but managed to contain it. He slid the tiny cups down a fraction of an inch, and my aching nipples were greeted with his fingers smoothing over them. I threw my head back and moaned. He replaced one hand with his mouth, and his other hand went between my legs to cup my heat.

"God, Bella." He whispered against my tightened flesh. I fucking wanted him, and I wanted this to go right.

I sighed and lifted his chin so I could have his mouth. I kissed him deeply, and he pressed his hips flush against mine and ground against my pelvis. I broke the kiss and tried to stay focused. He'd love that I took the time and thought this out.

I raised an eyebrow at him. "I need a human moment." I said quietly.

He looked a little put out, but he nodded. "You don't have to leave the room. The door right there is a private bathroom." He said, taking a reluctant step away from me.

I smiled and nodded while I made damn sure to sway my hips the whole way to the door. Once inside, I flicked on the light and closed the door. My heart picked up it's rate and I pulled open the cabinet door. Bingo.

I fluffed out the satin gown before pulling off my bra and sliding off my underwear. I pulled the long gown over my frame carefully before examining myself in the floor to ceiling mirror. The slit on the side went all the way to my hip, but yet you couldn't see anything of my ass or other parts. I pulled the pendant Carlisle had given me so it was hanging low between the valley of my breasts. I nodded at my assessment and opened the door slowly. I turned off the light, and stepped out.

There were a few candles lit around the room, and only the corner light was on now. It gave the room a dark, yet peaceful glow about it. Clad only in a pair of blue boxer briefs, Carlisle was sitting on the end of the bed with his jaw gaped at the sight of me. My throat constricted slightly at the sight of his gorgeous body; all lean muscles and glorious pale skin.

I licked my lips nervously and slid my hands down my stomach and over my hipbones. "I was thinking…" I said slowly, as I walked to him at an equally slow pace. "The other day when you and I had that talk. You told me that you didn't want me to feel rushed into anything.." I whispered while standing directly in front of him.

He barely moved at all, save for his throat constricting with a swallow. "I want you to be completely comfortable, yes." He whispered. He reached out and smoothed his fingers over the material that covered my hips.

I smiled. "I'm ready, Carlisle. Please." I whispered.

His eyes darkened and sparkled at the same time. "Bella…" He breathed.

I pulled the slit of the dress so I could straddle him, and he wouldn't get an eyeful at the same time. His hands immediately slid around my waist and shifted me so my center was placed directly over his length.

My heartbeat soared while my blood boiled in my veins. I slid my fingers over his absolutely perfect chest and stomach before sliding my fingers through his hair. His mouth met mine aggressively, and I moaned at the thought of finally having him.

His palms slid from the small of my back, up over my hips, before gently caressing my breasts through the silky fabric. He flipped us, so I was underneath him. I squeaked with the surprise of being moved so quickly and he chuckled. He hovered over me, taking care that he didn't put all his weight on me. His mouth worked down my neck gently, before his fingers slid the tiny straps down my arms. He kissed my shoulders where the straps were, and pulled the material down so it bunched at my waist.

I moaned as his mouth enclosed over my nipple and his hand worked the other gently. My center was literally pulsing in anticipation, and I reached out and palmed his length through his boxer-briefs.

He groaned and looked up at me while my breast was still in the confines of his mouth, and I shuddered at how feral he looked. "Carlisle, please." I sighed.

He smiled, and pulled the material down more, taking his sweet time and kissing my stomach and hip bones and every inch of skin that was exposed as he pulled the slip off.

Finally, he shifted so he could remove it altogether, and I held my breath. His eyes darted over my exposed skin, before landing on Alice's most recent torture.

He froze and licked his lips. "Bella?" He questioned slowly while his fingers rubbed gentle, electrifying circles on my hips.

I flushed scarlet and shrugged. "Merry Christmas?" I said with a giggle.

His eyes widened and he leaned forward to press his hand against my center. My entire body twitched with anticipation. He smiled widely and leaned to kiss me before rubbing me softly. I panted into his open mouth and my thighs quaked. "Oh, Carlisle! More than that!" I pleaded.

He growled lowly, and his entire body vibrated with the noise coming from inside his chest. His fingers pressed slightly harder, before he slid them deeply inside my more-than-ready body. I chanced a look at him and moaned at the sight. His mouth was working my right nipple, while his left hand was buried deep inside my body. His left hand, however, was palming himself through his boxers and I panted. He pressed his thumb expertly over my sensitive nub, and I was thrust intensely into my first orgasm of the night. My thighs quaked and my body constricted around his fingers. He pulled them from me slowly before pulling his boxers down and giving himself a few rough tugs with the hand. I was suddenly aware that this was it, and I sat up and straddled him.

He looked surprised for a moment, before he laid down and let me straddle him. His naked length was nestled against me quite intimately, and I shifted my slick flesh over his experimentally.

I moaned at the feeling of utter bliss that rolled through me, and his deep growl got a bit louder. "Bella, it might hurt a bit for you to try…" I shifted again over him and he bucked under me. "Fuck! I'm sorry. For you to try it this way on your first time." He finally managed.

His perfect, surgeon hands were splayed over my hips and his dark eyes glittered up at me. It was amazing how much confidence I felt, sitting completely naked on him while his eyes devoured my chest, and everything else. I didn't feel inferior, though he was exceptionally gorgeous. Nor did I feel self-conscious. My entire body was on fire for him, and I was more than ready to be acquainted with him in everyway possible.

I shifted over him, gently lifting myself off his lap so I could reach between us and press his length against my opening. "You've no idea how badly I want you." I promised him in a whisper.

His entire body went rigid, and I was sure he was fighting the urge to bury himself inside me. I slowly lowered myself over him, and groaned at the amount of stretching my body was doing to accommodate his generous size. I stopped for a moment, and let my body adjust. He reached up and rubbed his fingers down my face, my neck, then my breasts. My body flushed with heat again, and my hips finally settled against his.

He filled me so completely, in every way imaginable. I could not have guessed his body inside mine would feel like it did. On the one hand, it felt fantastic because it set off every nerve ending in my body. On the other, it felt fantastic because it was Carlisle. I was made for him, and him for me. There was no doubt at all in my mind.

My body throbbed around him, and I wondered what it felt like to him. His dark eyes watched me patiently, and I leaned forward and kissed him deeply.

The movement caused my nub to rub against his pelvis, and I bucked over him. He moaned and gripped my hips gently, silently urging me to move.

I shifted my hips over his again, slowly, and his pelvis rubbed me a bit harder. The fire that shot through my veins made me groan. I picked up my pace, and his body relaxed under mine. "Bella, God." He sighed.

He sat up and pulled my hips tightly to his, and I kissed him deeply while he gripped my thighs and thrust himself inside me. The friction was absolutely delicious, so I wrapped my arms and legs around him so he could decide our pace.

I broke off the kiss to moan at the new angle, and how aware I was of every inch of his body against and inside mine. Carlisle quaked underneath me, and the growl in his chest turned into an almost purring noise. "Bella!" He whispered brokenly into my neck.

I pulled away from him and groaned at the fabulous feeling from the change of the angle. I leaned back on my palms, and watched his eyes glitter intensely while he devoured my exposed body in front of him. In a quick movement, he shifted himself on his knees and I fell onto my back on the mattress. "Carlisle!" I moaned while he picked up the pace and the vigor of his thrusts. He gripped my hips tightly and pulled my body closer to his own.

My lungs were heaving with the effort of pulling air into them. Every muscle and nerve ending in my body was alive and throbbing under his aggressive touch. His thrusts increased their vigor and speed and before I could possibly understand it I exploded into my orgasm. My body tingled from head to toe and I wrapped my legs around his waist tightly.

He fell forward and thrust two more times, as my body contracted tightly around him and brought him to completion. "Bella, my Bella." He whispered while kissing my neck.

I couldn't manage a thought, never mind a sentence. How would I survive if it was to be this intense every time? Never mind that, how have I survived without doing that with him everyday? I couldn't imagine.

I panted under him in an attempt to catch my breath. My heart was still thudding wildly and he was still buried inside me. Every few seconds, I would contract around him again, and I chuckled at how fully sated I felt.

He lifted his face from listening to my heart to look at me. "I had no idea it could be like that." He whispered sincerely. "I love you, beloved." He said while kissing my throat.

I managed a lazy smile at him and pulled his shoulders towards me. I obviously couldn't move him, but he got the idea and laid down beside me. He pulled me to him immediately and I rested against his chest sleepily. "I can't believe I have you. Love you, Carlisle." I whispered, trying to fight the inevitable sleep that was making my brain fell fuzzy.

He kissed my temple gently and wrapped us in a blanket, and I realized this was the best Christmas I've ever had. I heard him chuckle before sleep claimed me.

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**Reviews are super, super, amazing, love. **


	25. Chapter 25

**Hey Everyone. I'm sorry for the delay with this chapter. I had a friend pass away this week because of an overdose. She was 22 years old, and it was just really hard to snap out of the state it put me in. This chapter is shorter than others, and it's more filler than anything. I wanted to let you all know what's been going on, though. Don't give up on me! I just need some time. Thank you to everyone who reviews and adds me to their favorites. It means a lot!**

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My first thought when I woke up was that while I was sleeping, someone must have poured lead into my arms and legs. Every bit of me was sore, and sated; comfortable.

I sighed and rolled over, quite reluctantly. Perhaps someone poured Adamantium over my bones like they did to Wolverine. Hey, that would be kind of cool.

I cracked my eyes open and realized I was in Carlisle's room, and everything came back to me. I sat up and clutched the sheet to my chest. I turned to find Carlisle perched on the farthest side of the bed, with an unreadable expression on his face. I cleared my throat and wiped the sleep from my eyes. "What's wrong? Carlisle, why are you all the way over there?" I croaked.

He winced at the sound of my voice and frowned. "I've hurt you, Bella." He whispered.

It was entirely too early for this. "I'm sorry, how?"

His golden eyes held mine for a moment, before sliding down to my hips. I followed his gaze and pulled the sheet over to see what he meant. Oh.

"Oh." It was the best I could do. My hips where he pulled me to him had perfect hand shaped bruises on them. It barely hurt at the time, or else I would certainly have said something. "It's no big deal. I didn't even feel it at the time." I promised.

His jaw clenched shut. "It's no big deal? I've never left bruises before, Bella. I've always been exceptionally mindful of what I'm doing. You are everything to me, the least I could do is show it." He spat.

My heart thumped with distaste at his mention of the others he had been with, but I decided to be a grown-up. "Well, maybe you weren't really enjoying yourself till now." I reasoned with a little smirk on my face.

He gave a little, humorless chuckle. "Do you often find it funny when men leave you bruised?" He asked.

I scowled at him, hard. "Listen, I don't find that sort of thing funny at all. Last night was the best night of my life. Hands down, no joke about it. You never hurt me. I promised you that I'd let you know if I was in pain, and believe me, I was telling the truth. You're ruining this for me by being like this. All I want is you, over here." I whispered while patting the side of the bed next to me.

He hesitated before blowing out a breath. "I'm sorry, Bella. I'll be more careful. I… lost myself, last night. Perhaps you're right, and it's because it has never been like that for me before." He concluded.

I gave him a reassuring smile while he laid back and pulled me to him. "Please don't be angry with yourself. I wouldn't have changed anything about last night. It was perfect. You were perfect." I promised while wrapping my arms around his neck and straddling his thighs.

His eyes still flicked to my hip before darting away. 'Next time I'll be much more careful. This won't happen again." He ran his fingers gently over the tender bruises and I sighed.

"I was going to ask you if it was always like that… but I guess it's not." I said with a small giggle. His hair was in complete disarray, sheer sex hair, and the look suited him. I fingered a tendril of gold that had fallen over his eyes and tucked it back.

He closed his dark honey eyes for a moment and sighed. "It's never been like that for me, ever. I didn't expect it to be, yet I was still over-whelmed. Bella, being with you, like that…" His voice faltered and he swallowed. "I could easily lose myself. I'd never hurt you, that's not what I mean. It's just…" He gave a short chuckle. "I'm never lost for words, yet here I am, with no good explanation."

I smiled widely before leaning forward to kiss him deeply. With a bit of reluctance, he kissed me back with his usual vigor and I sighed into his mouth. I was so, so ready for a round two, but my bladder was going to explode. "I'll be right back, okay?"

He smiled and nodded, lifting my hips gently from his. I took a moment to pull on his long sleeve shirt from last night, buttoning a few buttons and rolling the sleeves up a bit. His broad chest made the shirt extra long on me, but I loved that his scent clung to it so strongly. I breathed deeply while padding over to the bathroom.

I made quick work of taking care of everything, including washing my face and using a pink toothbrush that had been left in there courtesy of Alice. I fluffed my hair while I opened the bathroom door to find Alice in the room bouncing on the balls of her feet.

I grimaced. "Alice, what?" I asked while pulling his shirt a little tighter around myself. I noticed Carlisle was wearing his slacks from yesterday, but no shirt. My body flushed with heat at his delicious chest and Alice cleared her throat.

"Lord!" She mumbled. "I was just telling Carlisle that Dr. Cooper called…" She said with a wide grin.

I squinted at her, then at Carlisle. "Do you have to go into work?" I asked slowly while attempting to make sense of the conversation.

Carlisle nodded. "I had to today, anyway. I just have to go a bit earlier because he's quite sick. He didn't call for that, however. There was a charity event he was supposed to attend for the hospital in Port Angeles on New Years Eve. I wasn't asked to go, because Dr. Cooper has seniority over me. Someone has to go… and he can't." He said almost reluctantly.

I frowned. "So you've got to go, then?" I mumbled miserably.

Alice bounced happily and clapped. "Yes he does, but you're going too! Don't you see Bella? You're spending New Year's Eve in Port Angeles! You're going to a ball!" She squeaked. "You're going to need a dress, and shoes, and maybe one or two visits to a tanning bed! Oh! And costume jewelry, but nothing tacky…" She was talking so fast I could barely understand any of it.

Carlisle stilled her by holding her shoulders still and glancing worriedly at me. "Bella, I know you hate things like that. Of course I want you there, but you hardly have to tan or buy shoes." He threw a look at Alice that I'd never want to be on the receiving end of. "I wanted to ask you to come, but I guess that's out the window."

The grin that broke across my face almost hurt, before reality set in. "What am I going to say to Charlie?" I asked miserably while thinking of how many shades of purple he'd turn.

Alice shrugged. "I'll take care of that. Besides, that's not what's important!" She bounced while clapping her hands together. "We're going dress shopping!"

I sighed and scowled at her. "Why do you like dressing me up so much?" I asked with a hint of accusation in my voice.

She flipped her short black hair and shrugged. "I don't know, really. I guess I just like buying you things." She twirled gracefully and opened the door. "Carlisle, the head nurse wants you to call her back to let her know when you can be in today. I guess she's been there since yesterday morning."

He grimaced and nodded. "I'll call her, thank you." He wrapped his cool arms around me and Alice left the room with a gentle click of the door.

As soon as the door was closed, he pressed his face into the back of my neck and breathed deeply. I sighed and leaned back against him, while his hands cupped my breasts through his shirt. "I'm so sorry, Bella. I didn't want to leave you today at all." He whispered against my neck, causing goose bumps to break out across my skin.

I swallowed. "It's alright. I just hope the other Doctor is okay." I moaned while he pressed his swollen length against my ass. I pressed back against him, and he let out a breathy moan as well.

His fingers deftly worked the buttons of my shirt open before running his fingers over my exposed breasts. "Carlisle!" I sighed, while his mouth placed opened mouth kisses against my neck and back. One hand slid from my aching breast to the apex of my thighs. His fingers worked me gently, and I rolled my hips back against his length.

He growled, and shifted us quickly so he was between my thighs on the bed. He kneeled between my legs and pulled me so my ass was flush against his hips. I braced myself on the bed with my hands while he wrapped his arms around my torso and cupped my breasts. He leaned over my back and growled when his erection pressed against my opening. "Can you feel what you do to me, Beloved?" He asked with a feral note to his voice.

I could do nothing but moan and press my ass back against him. He licked the shell of my ear before kissing my neck, then my back. His tongue traced the ridges of my spine before he sat back enough to kiss each thigh. I whimpered at what was coming, and gripped the sheets with my hands.

"Carlisle!" I yelled. He placed a cool, opened mouthed kiss to my opening and I bucked back against his face. He stilled my hips gently with his hands. His tongue and mouth were on me then, and my thighs quaked with the effort of holding myself up. His hand wrapped around my hip to rub me in time with the thrusts of his tongue. I threw my head back and rocked against him. He pulled his face away from me and sat up abruptly.

In one swift movement he was between my thighs and rubbing the head of his length against my more-than-ready opening. "I'll never get enough of you, Bella. Not in an eternity." He growled.

I pressed myself back onto him, and he slid into me in one quick movement. I moaned loudly before taking things into my own hands and bouncing against him. My entire body was tingling, and I knew I wasn't going to last long.

His growl increased in volume along with the vigor of his thrusts inside me. I knew he was holding back, and I hated it. "Carlisle, please. Harder." I whimpered.

He grunted and leaned forward to kiss my shoulder gently. The gesture was incredibly sweet. "I can't, Bella." His voice broke a bit, and he decreased his speed despite my request.

I groaned and bounced against him harder, to which he responded with an annoyed growl. "Bella!" He warned.

"Fuck me, Carlisle." I said in the same tone he used.

That was it. His hips slammed into me with abandon. I threw my head back and tried my best to stay on my hands, but my arms were so tired.

He noticed this, so he pulled my torso against his. I sat back into his lap and wrapped an arm behind me, to hold his neck. This changed the angle he was thrusting, and I quivered at how deeply he was nestled inside me. I lifted my hips slowly, and savored the feel of his long length filling me as I dropped myself back down on him. His arms were wrapped around my torso, and he cupped my breasts in his hands. "You're so beautiful, my Bella." He whispered against my ear.

I smiled, and lifted my hips slightly, giving him room to thrust more vigorously. My head lolled back, and one of his hands went from my breast to between my thighs.

His thrusts went deeper and his fingers worked faster, and before I could even tell him so I was coming. I fell forward onto my hands while my body milked him tightly. He growled loudly and he pounded into me a few more times before I felt him release inside me.

I wasn't sure I'd survive if it was to be like this, every time.

I snuggled against him when he laid down beside me, and smiled at him. "How did I get so lucky?" I mumbled sleepily.

His almost blackened eyes were getting a bit lighter. "I've been asking myself that since you walked out on the patio the night after you got drunk at the Reservation." He said with a wide grin.

I blushed and shrugged before pulling the blankets over my naked body. He wrapped them around me a bit tighter, and kissed my temple. "I think you should tell your father that you'll be with me on New Year's Eve." He whispered in his clear, honey voice.

My heart rate sped up at the thought, but I said nothing about it. "Oh, and you should tell him that you'll be taking a trip with me this week besides that. It'll be an overnight trip, too. You can tell him it'll be in Port Angeles as well, to save some irritation on his part."

I Sat up and fluffed my bed hair. "Wait. He's never going to approve of that, Carlisle. I wish he would, but you have to know…" I licked my lips and shook my head.

One side of his mouth quirked down and he sat up enough to press his lips against mine briefly. "Bella, he needs to know. He has to realize you're not always going to be there. It'll be much more difficult for him to let go of you later if he doesn't believe he ever has to." He reasoned quietly.

My eyes glossed over with tears at the thought of moving on from him, but I nodded. "You're right. I'll talk to him tonight. What day is our other trip to Port Angeles?"

He smirked and his eyes absolutely twinkled. "I said to tell him you'd be going to Port Angeles. Not that we were actually going there. I was thinking on Thursday. You'll be back by Friday night. Then we'd be going to Port Angeles for New Year's, which is on Saturday night." His left hand was lightly scratching his scrumptious stomach, and I had to struggle to get all the information I needed.

I licked my dry lips and tore my eyes away from his body. "Right. Thursday. Saturday. Be back Friday night. Got it." I mumbled distractedly.

He smiled widely and palmed himself in an incredibly un-Carlisle-like way. I gaped at him and he grinned with an arched eyebrow. "Were you not informed that it's impolite to stare?" He asked with his thickest English accent.

I blushed and leaned forward enough to lick his nose. "I have no manners, or weren't _you_ informed?" I replied.

His eyes widened and he growled in the back of his throat. "Well, I'll have to teach you some manners, I think." He said smoothly.

I quirked an eyebrow at him and shrugged. "I'd like to see you try."

His mouth broke out in a grin before he smoothed his features. "You've forced my hand, Isabella." He growled before pouncing on me. He kissed me breathless before there was a loud knock at the door.

"Carlisle! The nurse is calling again. When are you going in?" Alice yelled miserably.

I groaned and pulled away from him and his scowl said everything that I couldn't.

"Right. Work. I'm going right now, let her know." He sighed and kissed my shoulder. "I'm sorry, Bella. Really. I'll make it up to you, I promise."

I smiled and nodded while running my fingers through his blond locks. "There's nothing to feel sorry for. I need to catch up on sleep, anyway. I'll see you later."

"I'm in love with you, Bella." He whispered before kissing me again.

I smiled against his lips and nodded. "As I love you. Thank you. For last night, for everything. You were perfect."

"Mmm. As were you. So, so perfect." He mumbled distractedly while nuzzling my neck with his lips.

I giggled and pushed him away. "You have to go to work! That poor lady's been there for like 16 hours. I'll see you after!"

He groaned before he nodded and pulled away. He got out of the bed and pulled on his boxer briefs while strutting to the bathroom. I admired the view a bit before I heard the shower turn on. I had every intention of going in with him, but my tired muscles won out and I fell asleep before I even heard him leave.

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	26. Chapter 26

**Hello my lovely readers! I'm sorry for the delayed update, but I couldn't manage a decent chapter. I've rewritten this probably six times, and I'm FINALLY content with the outcome. Thank you all for your kind words and reviews. They really do mean a lot to me. I love you all!**

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I woke up again in the early afternoon, and found my tired muscles felt much better after all the rest. I took a long, hot, shower in the master bathroom, and took a moment to marvel at how gorgeous the shower really was.

I threw on a white robe that was behind the bathroom door and pranced to my room as quickly as I could so I could change. After some scrounging in the drawers, I finally found a tank top and sweatpants so I could lounge properly.

I walked slowly down the stairs to find Alice and Emmett looking at me with amusement on their faces. "What?" I finally asked.

Emmett raised his eyebrows, but said nothing. Alice bobbed in place before hugging me tightly. "Oh, Bella! This is wonderful! You've made Carlisle so happy. And you're happy! This is wonderful!" She repeated while thrusting me from side to side.

I groaned, but smiled at her. "Speaking of that, I'd like to talk with you, if that's alright."

Her eyes darted away from me for a moment and the smile she was wearing faltered. She had already seen what I wanted to talk to her about. "Of course. Emmett? Would you mind?" She asked pointedly.

He sighed and shrugged. "Yeah, no problem. I'll make some diggers about Bells and Carlisle later, then." He said reluctantly. I cringed at that promise while he moved quickly out the front door.

When the door closed she looked at me expectantly for a few moments. No doubt to give Emmett time to be out of hearing range.

"As far as I know Edward is still in that room. He gets up from time to time, and decides to go for a hunt. But he never does. He hasn't hunted in well over two months. Every so often I see him decide to attack someone that's walking by outside, but he never does. He doesn't look out the window, and he doesn't think of where he will go hunting… so I have no idea where to start looking for him." She gushed quickly. Her words were crystal clear and precise as a bell, but spoken so quickly I still had a hard time keeping up.

I sat down on the couch and blew out the breath I was holding. "I need to talk to him. I need him to understand what Carlisle means to me. I want Edward to come back because Carlisle misses him so much. I hate that he's hurting, and I feel like we've waited too long to fix it now." I whispered.

She sighed and sat down on the couch next to me. "Where is all this coming from? I thought you'd be so happy this morning. Or should I say afternoon." She said with a laugh.

I smiled and nodded. "I am happy. Probably the happiest I've ever been. You know I can't stand thinking Edward is miserable somewhere. I hate that Carlisle is losing a son over this. I feel like I can fix it, if I'm given the chance. I think that would be the greatest thing I could do for Carlisle. I want to talk with Edward before he kills someone else, or himself. This has gotten out of hand, I think."

She smiled sadly at me before enveloping me in a hug. "Carlisle is lucky to have you. I'd tell him so, but he already knows it. As far as Edward goes, I think Jasper and I will be leaving for a while. The last time I knew where he was, he was in Mexico. Jazz and I will start there and work our way back. Jasper's quite good at tracking, and I know Edward better than most. Between the two of us, we should be able to find him." She promised. "So, to save time, I already bought you the dress and shoes for the New Year's party in Port Angeles. It's upstairs in your room." She said with an enthusiastic nod.

I sighed but nodded. "Thank you for not dragging me shopping."

"Hey! Don't mention it!" She said brightly. "We'll be here till later tonight so we can talk to Carlisle about it. I already know he's going to be all for it. He really does want Edward back." She whispered quietly. "Oh! And this morning I put your truck on the road for you. You can take it home today if you'd like."

I stood up and jumped. "Yes! Oh that's so fucking awesome! Thank you."

She giggled a small, delicate laugh. "Not even I saw a reaction like that coming."

Charlie called the house around four asking where I was. Thankfully Alice picked up and told him I was on my way home as she was talking to him. I nodded at her and quickly gathered my things together and jumped in my massive truck. I squeaked with delight as I started it up and it rumbled the house.

I pulled up in front of our house and hopped out, stumbling forward a bit. I was sure the height of this truck was going to bear the promise of a sprained ankle or two.

Just as I was walked up the steps of the porch with my arms completely full of gifts, Charlie swung the door open and raised an eyebrow at me. "Hey, kid. I see you're truck is on the road." He said obviously.

I nodded and sighed with relief as he took some of the presents from my arms. "Thanks."

He shrugged and we hobbled inside and put everything down on the kitchen table. "They got you all this stuff too? I mean, besides the truck?" He asked with disbelief.

I pulled out the chair and sat down. "Yeah, I feel really bad that I got them hardly anything." I whispered while running my fingertips over my First Editions Carlisle bought me.

He grunted and we sat in awkward silence for a few moments. "Uh. How did Dr. Cullen like the family ring? I know it's nothing special. And he could buy a million of them…"

I sighed. "He loved it, Dad. He's… honored that we've taken him in as a family member. Believe me, the sentiment is not lost on him." I promised.

His face pinched together, before smoothing out. "Bells, I want you to know that I'm not stupid. I know you spent the night there to spend… time… with Dr. Cullen." He paused to take in my expression.

My face flamed red and my jaw hung open. I quickly pulled my sleeves and cleared my throat. "Dad, that's not…"

He raised his hand to signal he wasn't finished. "What I mean is… I know you care for him, and I also know that he loves you. It's still difficult for me to accept, but there's no need for you to feel ashamed of him. Billy and I were talking about it, and he said that he was glad that I kept you from really spending time with him because it would be embarrassing for me once the people in town knew. I had to disagree with him, and I realized how what he said must be kind of true. Do you think I keep you from him because I'm embarrassed?" He asked slowly.

I grimaced and shook my head. "No, I get that you're trying to protect me from getting hurt. I think you might be slightly disapproving of him, but you know, deep down, that Carlisle's a wonderful man."

He nodded and shrugged. "And you're a wonderful woman. That's what I keep forgetting. You're not little anymore. You've always had your head on straight, and you've always known what you wanted. I trust you with this, Bella."

I smiled widely and squeezed his hand across the table briefly. "Well, that's good to hear. Carlisle invited me to Port Angeles to spend the night. He has two Hospital related functions this week. One on Thursday night and the other on New Year's Eve. Carlisle said…" I stalled out as I watched my Dad's face turn from red, to scarlet, to plum, to purple.

"Bella! That's…" He puffed his cheeks out and flailed. "No! You can't go to Port Angeles!" He exploded.

I flinched at the sound of his voice and narrowed my eyes at him. "You just said that you understood! That it was alright!"

His resolve to make me miserable wavered as he remembered that vital bit of information. "Well, I was being honest. But you have no place at these adult parties!"

I laughed and shook my head. "Really? 'adult' parties? Its not a big deal. They will be conventions. I'm going no matter what, Dad. So I just want to be clear with you."

He glared. "You're going no matter what?" He repeated.

I nodded. "Yes. Since you and I are being honest, you said it was fine a moment ago. So I figured we were good. I'm going with him. I'll be back Friday night, but I'm leaving again on Saturday. I'm a grown woman, after all."

He blew out a reluctant breath and nodded. "I'm being stupid right now, aren't I?" He sighed.

I laughed and shrugged. "I don't have kids, so I don't know what I put you through I guess."

He swallowed and nodded. "I want you to call me and let me know what's going on. Please?"

I nodded and stood up. "Of course. I'm going to put my stuff away." I said while gesturing to the massive pile of presents.

After helping me carry the pile to my room, I spent some time sorting through all of it and finding places for everything. I spent some more time gently going through the books Carlisle gave me. They were perfect and wonderful, and I lost a few hours while I read them and appreciated them.

I fell asleep on my bedroom floor and didn't wake up until the next day. When I woke up I was in my bed alone, but there was a note in Carlisle's elegant script taped to my headboard.

-My Beloved,

I came in last night to find you on the floor with Sense and Sensibility in front of you. I couldn't stand the thought of waking you up, so I put you to bed. I had to leave early this morning to cover for Dr. Cooper, but I'll come by for a bit later. I have to put extra time in this week so we can go on our trip Thursday. I'd really like to see you today, so come by the hospital for two. I love you, and I'll see you soon.

-Carlisle

I sighed and ran my fingertips over the script before getting out of bed.

After lounging around the house for a bit, I threw on some scrubs and drove my fucking awesome truck to the hospital. I made sure to park next to Carlisle, simply because my truck looked good next to his car.

I punched in and did a few rounds before helping an elderly lady use the restroom. As I was washing my hands, Carlisle walked gracefully around the corner to my station. "Good afternoon, Bella." He greeted formally. He gave a polite 'hello' to the others at the station before turning his attention back to me. "May I speak with you briefly in my office?" He asked.

I blushed and nodded while following him. The moment he closed the door behind us I threw my arms around his neck and wrapped my legs around his waist. He was significantly taller than me, so he had to hoist me up the rest of the way with his hands. His mouth caressed mine gently and a low purr started in his chest. "My Bella." He whispered against my lips.

I tangled my fingers in his silky, gold locks and sighed while his tongue languidly explored my own. "You should have woken me up last night." I said huskily before licking his nose.

He chuckled and sat me down on the corner of the desk so he could move to stand between my legs. "I couldn't do it. You were snoring and mumbling my name and it was the epitome of perfection."

I flushed scarlet and huffed while his fingertips threaded in my curls. "I so don't snore."

He laughed deeper and nodded. "You so do, though. I wanted to speak with you…" He broached reluctantly.

I licked my lips and leaned away from his face nuzzling my neck. "About?"

"Alice left this morning. She's going to Mexico to look for my son." He said carefully.

I nodded. "I know. Alice told me. Why do you look so worried?" I wondered.

He blew out a breath and raked his fingers through his hair. I groaned with the loss of his hips pressed against mine as he walked restlessly from one end of the room to the other. "If she finds him, he will come back. All I want is for Edward to come back…" He swallowed and sighed. "Yes, I want Edward to come back. However, not if it will cause problems between you and I. I don't want our relationship to change. I haven't felt this young, or happy, or in love.." His fists tightened and he sucked his teeth. "I sound incredibly selfish right now, don't I? After all I made Edward what he is. I took from him and promised that things would get better. You came into his life, and I snatched you from him. I've no right to want anything from him. I feel so conflicted, Bella. Whatever will I say to him?" His breathing shuddered, and I knew he'd be crying if he could.

I stood slowly and walked to him. His face was in his palms, so I wrapped my arms around his waist and held him. It took a moment, but he finally wrapped his arms around me and kissed my temple. "You are the least selfish person I've ever met, Carlisle. You didn't snatch me from Edward. He left me in the woods alone, therefore nullifying any right he has to call me his. He and I were never truly happy with one another. You know that, just as you know how your relationship was with Esme. Would you rather have Edward and I do that? Be with one another for seventy years before realizing that we were just tallying up reasons why we can't stand one another? I can't even imagine it." I whispered meaningfully. I kissed his breastbone and squeezed him tighter. "I don't want our relationship to change, either. But I do think that if Edward comes home, you and I should tread lightly for a bit. We have forever, you and I. The least we could do for him is be mindful of his feelings. You know how much I love you, and you know that I want you, always. Don't you?"

He pulled my face away from his chest and tilted my jaw up so he could kiss me gently. "I don't doubt your emotions towards me for a moment. I was merely saying that I can't stand the thought of it changing. I know it would be temporary, but it still makes me sick to think about. Not being able to go to you at night, or kiss you as deeply as I always want to. Or spend the entire night making love to you, as I ache to." His silky voice dropped huskily. "Or to taste your desire on the air when I speak to you like this. Like right now."

The dull ache that had ignited as he spoke broke out into a full flame as he finished. I moaned and pressed my mouth to his feverishly while his fingers tangled in my hair, angling my face towards his better.

I slipped my arms underneath his lab coat and groaned while I gripped the material roughly. He chuckled against my mouth and slid his hand down from my hair, over my breast, down my stomach, before sliding gracefully between my legs to cup me.

I broke away from his mouth to moan. His eyes had darkened considerably, and a tendril of blond hung in his eyes. He licked his delicate lips and inhaled deeply.

"Dr. Cullen? May I speak with you?" Someone called from the other side of the door while knocking abruptly.

Disappointment rocketed through me and I huffed. "Yes, I'll be just a moment." He greeted politely. His face lit with amusement at the look on my face. "Oh, Bella. I'm sorry. I'll make it up to you, I promise." He soothed.

I smiled despite myself and kissed him again before walking to the door. I gave him a once over while he adjusted himself so he didn't look like we were just making out like horny teenagers. I gave him a thumbs up and opened the door to be greeted by Janice. She looked at me disapprovingly before brushing past me and closing the door behind her.

It took a lot not to be the jealous type.

The rest of the week went by in much the same annoying fashion. Every time we were alone and getting into it, someone would interrupt. He would come to my house at night, but despite our romp the time he caught me popping my cherry he insisted that he should be respectful of Charlie.

It made me disgruntled that he was such a gentleman.

Alice called a few times to tell us where she was and what she had found; which was nothing. She said she would call us back when she found something.

By the time Thursday rolled around I was practically bouncing with excitement at the thought of being with Carlisle for the night. Lord knows, we needed some time together.

He pulled up in front of my house at eleven in the morning with his sleek, black, Mercedes. He told me that he had already packed an overnight bag for me, which sounded mighty like something Alice had her hand in.

I dashed out of my house and opened the passenger door before throwing myself inside at him. He huffed with surprise as I attacked his mouth with my own, but quickly returned the gesture with vigor. "I hope you're ready, my Beloved." He sing-songed. "You and I have quite a trip ahead of us."

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**WHERE IS HE TAKING HER? REVIEW AND IT'LL BE TO YOUR HOUSE! haha. No, really. **


	27. Chapter 27

**Hello, Lovers! This chapter took a while, because I really wasn't sure how much detail to get into. So, I figured as much detail as I wanted would suffice. Thank you all for your support, and beautiful words. **

**Thank you VampishVixen, for reccing my story all over the place. You really rock my socks!**

**CullenCousin and Keeper_of_the_Covenant, thank you for reviewing like, every chapter. Your in depth reviews make me happy. There are wayyy more people too, but this site has been acting up REALLY bad lately, and I haven't even been able to get most of my reviews. ERROR ERROR ERROR all day.**

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"Alright, where are we going? I can't take surprises." I said anxiously.

He grinned widely and brought my hand to his lips so he could kiss my fingers. I sighed at the gesture but stared at him expectantly. "You'll see when we get there. I promise that you'll love it. Is that enough?" He soothed.

I huffed but nodded while relaxing back into the heated leather of the seat.

My anticipation only grew when we had been driving for close to two hours and we pulled into a tiny airport. It was by no means your usual commercial airline, so my curiosity was piqued, to say the least. We drove slowly down the entranceway while Carlisle pressed the button to roll his window down. Carlisle greeted a security guard whom apparently knew him quite well.

"Dr. Cullen! It's been a long time! How have you been?" The elderly man asked.

Carlisle flashed his award winning smile. "Things have been quite well, thank you Alfred. How is your wife doing?" He asked in return.

Alfred shrugged and smiled mischievously. "She's the same. You know? You going for a trip?" He asked.

Carlisle nodded while Alfred lifted the security gate so we could drive in. "For a day. I have some business in Anchorage." He supplied.

Alfred exchanged a few more words but I wasn't paying attention. Anchorage? As in Alaska? That just couldn't be right. I bit my lip and tapped my foot restlessly until Carlisle started pulling away from the gate and down the aisles of privately owned planes.

"Carlisle, my love?" I began.

He chucked and squeezed my fingers that were laced with his own over the center console. "Yes?" He replied in the same inquisitive tone.

I sucked my teeth at him. "Don't tell me you own a plane." I said doubtfully.

He bit his lip and averted his eyes. "I own an island. Why wouldn't I own a plane?" He said with a chuckle. "Besides, I rather enjoy flying. The plane itself was a small price to pay to be able to fly when I'd like." He reasoned.

My jaw gaped while we pulled up to a huge, pristine white plane. He got out of the car and in exactly one blink he was already opening my door for me. I climbed out of the car slowly and gaped at the size of the plane. "Are you serious? Carlisle! You're a pilot besides?"

He smoothed his silky hair that had blown in the wind and held his arm out for me. I placed my arm in the crook of his and walked with him towards the gorgeous plane. "It's really quite simple. I'll teach you how to fly, if you'd like." He offered.

I smiled widely at the thought while he fiddled with some things outside of the plane. "That actually sounds fantastic. I'd like that."

He smiled and opened the door of the plane so I could climb in. It was even more glorious inside. There were couches and a flat screen television. There was even a bedroom with a full sized bed in the back of the plane. The bathroom was the farthest thing from what I expected. It was large and had a small stand-up shower in the corner of it. It was going to be like flying in a beautiful hotel room.

"Carlisle, it's amazing." I breathed while smoothing my fingertips over the plush leather sofa. I turned to him to find he was looking at me intensely.

His dark eyes glittered while he licked his lips. "Amazing is certainly right." He whispered.

I blushed and wrapped my arms around his narrow waist. He tilted my face up to his with his cool hands and kissed my lips gently. The spicy taste of him still surprised me and I sighed against his smooth lips. "Thank you for this." I whispered while smoothing my fingers over his back.

He smiled against my lips and his eyes twinkled. "You don't even know where we're going yet." He accused playfully.

I shrugged against his frame. "I don't care. As long as I'm with you, I'm thankful for it." I promised.

He sighed and stepped away from me. "All I want right now is to show you how thankful I am to be close to you, but I'm afraid that we're a bit on a schedule. Settle yourself in for right now. I'm going to get our bags from the car and get this ball moving. Alright love?"

I blushed and flopped down on the incredible sofa. "Is there another seat in the cockpit?" I asked slowly.

He raised an eyebrow at me and nodded. "Once we're in the air I'll have you come up with me. Maybe we'll have your first flying lesson today then." He said with a wink.

My stomach flipped at the thought, but he was already outside gathering our bags. I wondered if he would be able to save me if I should somehow crash the plane.

I doubted it, even if he was a vampire and a brilliant doctor.

I relaxed a bit while I heard Carlisle speaking with the ATC, and they were clearing him for the runway. I let out a breath when I felt the aircraft start moving, and smiled at how much better this was than flying commercially.

After about fifteen minutes, Carlisle called to me from the cockpit.

I unbuckled my seatbelt and walked carefully to the door, only tripping a few times. Flying always gave me the worst kind of vertigo.

I smiled and plopped myself in the chair next to his. He flashed me a grin and pointed to a headset that was hanging from an elaborate hook. I took it and slid it over my ears. "So, are we really going to Anchorage?"

He smirked and nodded. "I'll tell you that much, because you can't deduce much from it."

I scowled at him and shook my head. "No, I can't." I conceded.

I slid my gaze back over to him, and had to contain a sigh at the sight. He was so glorious.

We were above cloud cover now, and the orangey sunlight was glinting off his face perfectly. His eyes were the exact shade of the sunlight filtering in through the window.

Not to mention, he was flying a plane. He was relaxed in the large leather chair, and his strong forearms were exposed from his button down shirt that had been pushed up to his elbows.

I smirked at the idea of attacking him quite thoroughly.

He raised an eyebrow and glanced at me. "You're looking at me like I'm something to eat." He remarked playfully.

I smirked at him. "Maybe you are." I purred while I reached out and stroked his strong thigh. I slid off my headset and licked my lips pointedly.

His eyes widened and his jaw went slack. I noticed his grip tightened on the steering wheel a bit. "Bella, good God." He growled.

I stood up slowly and ran my fingers through his hair. "How about we try out that perfect control of yours, hmm?" I asked huskily before sliding my hands up my own shirt.

His pupils dilated and his crystalline eyes focused on my actions intently. "Alright, Ms. Swan. Let's." He agreed.

I smirked at the challenge before sliding my shirt off my head. I heard him gasp at the sight of my bra, and I smiled.

I fluffed my hair and palmed the green, see-through, lace cups and moaned while watching him.

His jaw tightened and his eyes grew darker, but he didn't let go of the steering wheel.

I popped the button on my jeans and turned my back to him so I could slide my jeans off. I leaned forward as far as I could and made sure to part my legs just a bit while pulling the fabric off my legs. Reaching to my ankles, I slowly slid my hands up each leg before palming my butt through the green lace booty shorts. I peeked at him and noticed he was only flying with one hand now, as the other was palming himself through his slacks.

My center throbbed at the sight, and I sat back down in the other chair and twirled it so it was facing him. I threw a leg over each of the chair arms and grazed my fingertips over my breasts before sliding the straps down. Leaning forward just a bit, I then reached behind myself to undo the clasp. I threw my bra aside and palmed my exposed breasts while moaning out his name.

He inhaled deeply and I heard the low growl erupt from inside his chest. It almost sounded like he was purring.

Loudly.

I slid one hand from my breast, down my stomach, and under the elastic of my boy shorts.

I heard him gasp, and I smiled while watching him press down a bit harder with the heel of his hand.

I dropped off the chair and kneeled between his spread thighs. His dark eyes watched me for a moment before he reached a tentative hand out to stroke my cheek. I smiled and undid his belt, taking my time with undoing his pants. The growl got a bit louder when I pulled him from his boxers, giving him a few firm strokes.

"Isabella.." He growled. I smirked before grasping his base and taking him as deeply as I dared. His taste was divine, and the thought that I was the one doing this for him made heat surge through me. I loved every bit of this man, inside and out.

I bobbed fiercely, squeezing the base of him in time with my ministrations. I heard the tearing of fabric and glanced up to see he had torn the arm of the chair off. I pulled back from him with an audible 'pop'. I sucked in a needed breath and licked my lips. "Well, I guess you lose. The arm of the chair was a sign of lost control." I said levelly.

I stood up with a smile on my face. I was only teasing him, but his eyes darted frantically to the wheel. He pressed a few buttons in a flash and before I could ask him what he did he had our positions switched. Throwing his headset to the side, he reached under the chair and pressed a button so the height of my chair was higher up. He pinched the fabric of my underwear with his thumb and forefinger and ripped it off me as if it were made of tissue paper.

I groaned at his aggressive display while he kissed my neck, then pulled each of my nipples into his mouth alternately. "I've never wanted someone so badly in my entire fucking existence. My entire being aches for you." He growled.

A fresh wave of heat surged through me and I threw my head back against the chair. He rubbed the head of his length against my bundle of nerves quickly. "Fuck!" I yelled while my body went rigid with my impending release. "Carlisle!" I breathed.

"You dare to test me on my control." He growled while pinching my nipple with his cool fingertips. "Beg me for it, Isabella." His dark honey voice beckoned.

I moaned and moved my hand between us so I could relieve some of the tension. I was stopped by his cool fingers wrapping around my wrist and pinning it down. I squeaked with protest and sighed. "Carlisle! Please!" I begged.

He shook his head over me, his beautiful hair falling around his face. "Not good enough. I said beg me for it. Or else you'll get nothing of me." He promised.

"Ugh!" I yelled in frustration. "Make love to me, Carlisle. I need you." I voiced loudly.

He chuckled and rubbed himself against my opening slowly. "You need me to what, Isabella?" He asked slowly.

My eyes snapped to his and I glared. "I just told you, Carlisle. I need you to fuck me, now. Please."

His eyebrows rose a bit and he smirked. "What a filthy mouth you have, Isabella. Has anyone ever told you that?" He asked calmly while my body was on the verge of exploding.

I pinched my eyes shut and tried to impale myself on him, but he pulled back just enough that I couldn't. I made a small noise of protest and gazed at him, defeated.

His face softened marginally before he swooped down and kissed me so sweetly that I sighed into his open mouth. In one swift movement, he was buried deep inside me and thrusting steadily. "I can deny you nothing, Beloved. I need you just as you need me, my Bella." He whispered silkily while thrusting steadily.

I grasped onto his slender hips and wrapped my legs around him, encouraging him to go deeper.

He smiled at my hint, before pressing our hips together firmly and rubbing against me sinuously.

My center started the intense thrum of an orgasm that would consume me. "So close, Carlisle. Ugh!" I yelled as he reached between us and flicked his thumb over my sensitive bud.

What could have only been seconds later, I was climaxing around him. My body pulsated around him and he thrust a few more times before yelling out my name.

He stilled while he finished deep inside me, and I rested my head against his shoulder while trying to catch my breath. "I won't survive it if it's going to be like that every time." I promised sleepily.

He chuckled and pulled back enough to kiss my eyelids and mouth gently. "I'm sorry for acting the way I did.. You bring out a feral side of myself that I didn't know existed. I'm almost embarrassed." He whispered before biting his lip and averting his crystal eyes from me.

I tipped his face back to me and smiled warmly at him. "No need to blush, I really enjoyed it. I mean… really, really enjoyed it." I promised while blushing entirely. I twitched and jumped up. "Shit! Who's flying the plane!" I panicked.

He smiled and sat up enough to sit back in his ruined chair. "It's on the plane's version of cruise control right now. I really should pay attention anyway, but it's alright I assure you." He said casually before flicking a few buttons and resuming control of the plane.

My heart rate slowed a bit at his explanation and I nodded. "Okay." I slipped my bra back on, and my jeans, before pulling on my tank top.

He watched me steadily and licked his lips. "There is a jacket and sweatpants for you in the bedroom. I laid out an ensemble for you to wear. It's quite important that you don't forgo anything. I know you're gorgeous, so don't worry too much if you find it's not really… flattering." He finished with a glance my way.

I quirked an eyebrow at him and nodded. "Well, we are going to Alaska, aren't we? I'll go change into that, and I'll be right back." I kissed his lips softly and smiled when he pulled my face to his for another kiss.

I changed into the outfit he brought, which happened to be the one with the electric heaters built in. It felt a bit awkward, almost as if there was under wire running throughout the jacket and pants. It was lined with some sort of heat retaining fabric as well, because the jumpsuit wasn't even turned on yet.

Besides the hot-as-hell pantsuit, I also had thermal undershirts and pants on, besides.

I slid on my super warm boots, with thermal socks, and sighed at how warm I felt.

It was possibly another hours flight before we landed in a quaint little Alaskan airport. Carlisle landed perfectly, though I wasn't really surprised. Before we got off the plane, he opened the little fridge in the kitchen of the plane and cooked me some chicken with brown rice. I would have been fine with a sandwich, but Carlisle never settled for the bare minimum.

After eating, I helped him clean up the dirty dishes. I used the restroom, because I was certain that whatever we were doing would definitely be some kind of outdoor excursion.

I refused to pee outside near Carlisle.

I washed my hands and emerged from the gorgeous bathroom and Carlisle was holding out a goofy looking hat with huge fur earmuffs attached to the hat. It also had a fold out face warmer, to complete the look.

I scowled. "I think I'll be fine, my dear." I promised while holding my hand out to stop him from using the horrid thing.

He chuckled. "How long do you think you'll be able to stand negative four degree weather, with possible wind gusts well below that?" He asked slyly.

I scowled harder, and pulled the hat from his extended hand.

After bundling myself up, Carlisle pulled the door open and turned to me while grinning. "You'll have to let me carry you for a bit. Otherwise, we'll never get there."

I licked my chapstick covered lips and shrugged. "I'll keep my eyes closed, then."

We got into a cab that brought us to a tourist spot right outside the airport. Carlisle thanked the driver and we waited by the side of the desolate road until his brake lights were gone.

In a flash, he had picked me up and thrust me onto his back as if I weighed no more than a tee-shirt. I giggled and wrapped my legs around him.

"You know how to turn your jumpsuit on?" He asked while bringing my palm up to his lips so he could kiss me.

I smiled wider and kissed the back of his neck, before nodding and flipping the little red switch on the side of my coat. "Done and done."

"Good. Hold on, beloved." I closed my eyes tightly, and hid my face in the crook of his neck. The cold wind was almost unbearable, even with the jacket and pants. The sun was long gone now, and the night air held a chill that I'd never experienced.

We ran for some time, and I didn't dare pull my face out from his neck. Just when I was going to beg him to stop so I could warm up inside my jacket, I felt him come to a stop.

"We're here." He said simply.

My aching joints protested moving, but I managed to let go of him and stand on my own two wobbly feet. He quickly realized I was falling over, so he wrapped his arms around my waist and held me tightly. I squeezed my eyes shut to help with the vertigo I was experiencing, and sighed at the heat I could finally feel my jacket and pants making. They were definitely worth their money.

"Well?" He prompted gently.

I swayed a bit and opened my eyes, only to have my jaw hit the snow-covered ground.

"Oh my God." I breathed, wrapping his arms tighter around me.

He chuckled, and kissed my temple. "The Aurora Borealis. Alice told me that there was immense solar activity two days ago, so she knew that they would be breathtaking today." He explained.

He wasn't joking, either. He had taken us to an exceptionally dark area next to the mountains, and the glowing lights looked absolutely beautiful. The electric greens, blues and yellows reflected off the pristine white snow, illuminating the whole area around us.

Aside from Carlisle, I had never seen anything so beautiful.

My breath caught in my throat as I watched the colors dance quickly through the crystal clear black sky. The green lights fell like a curtain around us, and I turned to kiss Carlisle gently on his smooth, ice cold lips.

"I never thought it would be this beautiful. I can't believe we're really here right now. Thank you, Carlisle." I breathed against his mouth.

He kissed me again and nodded. "Anything for you, my love. We will come again, after you've been changed. I didn't get the chance to see it while I was human, so I don't really know what it looks like to you. I want you to have something to compare it to." He explained.

I nodded and turned around in his arms so I could absorb the gorgeous display the night sky was giving us. "How many times have you come to see this?" I asked.

"Four hundred and thirty seven times." He answered quickly. I huffed out my surprise at his precise answer, and he pulled me tighter to him. "I told you I loved coming here."

I giggled and nodded. "We will come here all the time. Perhaps we can get married here." I said slowly.

I felt him stiffen behind me, and I worried that I had pushed him too soon. "You'd really want to marry me here? I would love that, Bella. That would be perfect."

I sighed contentedly and leaned back against him. "It would be perfect. I love you, Carlisle."

He turned me around gently, and kissed me deeply. He parted my mouth with his tongue while his chilly fingers held my face against his. He broke away to let me breath while a flush worked it way over my cheeks. "I love you so much, Bella." He said sincerely.

We spent another hour watching the sky, and exchanging kisses before my jacket battery started to die. Carlisle picked me up gently and I wrapped my legs around his slender hips. "I'll be very quick this time. Let me know if it's too cold for you." He encouraged.

He took off quickly, and I was cold almost immediately. In a matter of 15 minutes, we were at the airport again. I was absolutely freezing, so Carlisle wrapped me in an electric blanket and turned it on low. "Don't put it on high yet, you're too cold and it will bring up your temp too quickly. Alright?" He whispered gently.

I nodded and my bottom jaw chattered violently. "Thank you, Carlisle." I managed. "I can't wait till we can go there, without my human needs getting in the way." I mumbled.

He shook his head and reached out to touch me, before deciding against it. "I love your humanity, Bella. Don't think I'm upset. I knew you would be cold, that's why there's an electric blanket on the plane in the first place." He smiled. "I'm going to get the plane in the air, and then I'll come back here to sit with you." He promised.

I pulled the blanket tighter to myself and nodded. Eventually, the warmth of the blanket coupled with the fluffy bed lulled me to sleep, with the image of green and blue lights dancing in Carlisle's crystal eyes.

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**Reviews for Bella joining the mile high club? Yes, please. That is, IF you can leave a comment at all with the way this site has been acting a fool.**


	28. Chapter 28

**Hello, everyone! Sorry for the delay, but life sometimes gets in the way. I've been working two jobs temporarily, and it leaves me with no personal life. Thank you to everyone that reviews and adds me to their favorites. It's people like you that encourage me to do better. OH! and we broke a THOUSAND reviews. I'll be damned! I love you guys, so don't hate me too much. ;-]**

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When I woke up, I was surprised to find I was in my room. I blinked myself awake, and groaned. I could feel Carlisle's cool arms around me, and I smiled. "W'time is it?" I managed.

He chuckled and kissed the back of my neck. "It's just past ten. We got back in Forks right after your Dad left for work. I figured I'd bring you in the house so you could get some decent rest in your own bed." He whispered.

I yawned and rolled over so I could see him. It always amazed me how gorgeous he was. Even in the morning he looked wonderful, but I supposed not needing sleep helped his cause a bit. I reached out and stroked his glorious face while his honey eyes closed and a small smile graced his smooth lips. "You don't have to work today?"

He grimaced and shook his head. "Not today. I do have some bad news though." He said gently. "We are still going tonight for the convention in Port Angeles, but I'm afraid Dr. Cooper needs me to come back to work in the morning. I'm sorry, Bella. I know you wanted to stay there overnight, but I'll make it up to you."

I smiled at his words and kissed him chastely. I still hadn't brushed my teeth yet, after all. "Don't worry about it. We'll go, I'll meet some of your friends from work, and we'll make-out at midnight after I sample some champagne. Then I'll snore the whole way home while you drive. Sounds magical to me." I said with a chuckle.

He gripped me to his body a bit tighter. "You don't really snore. Though I think you'll be talking the whole way probably."

I blushed and gave him a playful shove. "Maybe the champagne will keep me quiet!"

He bit his bottom lip and averted his eyes. He was hypothetically blushing. "I sure hope not. I love when you talk. It's the closest I get to seeing your dreams." He whispered with wonder in his voice.

I let out an embarrassed chuckle and moved to get out of bed. "I need a human moment. What exactly is it that I dream about, anyway?" I asked offhandedly.

He stretched on my tiny bed languidly. It was for my benefit I was sure, because his muscles never got tired. My eyes drifted to the expanse of his abs that had become exposed from the tee shirt riding up. "You mention me a lot. Sometimes passionately, sometimes just a whisper. Sometimes you just say random things about the rest of the family or your Dad. I enjoy my dreams the most, though." He said with a mischievous smirk on his face.

I rummaged my drawers for some clean clothes and nodded. "That's a coincidence because I do, too."

The rest of the day passed in relative quiet. Carlisle and I channel surfed and snuggled on the couch. A few times I tried to escalate things by deliberately rubbing on him, but he stopped me, mumbling about how it wasn't proper in my father's house.

Every time he brought it up, I wanted to mention the time he caught me in my room. I was trying to be an adult about it, though.

I laid on top of his cool chest, while he flipped the channels and ran his fingers through my hair. I was so content I practically fell asleep. His flipping stopped when he landed on 'Eternal Sunshine of a Spotless Mind'. "This film was wonderful." He said with a smile in his voice.

I nodded against his chest. "I love Kate Winslet. Well, Clementine." I sat up enough to look at him and poked his chest. "What was the first movie you ever saw?" I asked.

He smiled and rolled his eyes. "Roundhay Garden Scene in 1888. It was possibly 20 seconds long and was of a couple, walking through a garden. Horrid. There was no plot line, what-so-ever." He said with a chuckle.

I grunted and straddled his lap. His eyes widened, but he didn't comment on my seating arrangement. "I mean the first movie with a plot, smartass." I said with a giggle while he tickled my sides gently.

His face sobered a bit and his brows furrowed. "I went to see 'The Jazz Singer', in 1927. It was the first movie Edward ever saw as well." He whispered distractedly.

I glanced away from him for a moment and composed myself. I hated seeing him like this, so I had to be strong for him. "Alice and Jasper will find him, Carlisle. We'll fix this. You'll have him back." I promised rather emptily.

He smiled a bit and nodded before sitting up enough to capture my lips with his. "You're perfect for me, my love." He said meaningfully with his lips still pressed against mine.

I grinned and shrugged. "I think you're perfect. Period."

Around four Carlisle headed home so he could get ready for the party. He left just in time for my Dad to pull into the drive-way and gruffly greet him with a miserable, "Dr. Cullen, How are you?"

I sighed and watched the awkward display from the porch. I hated that they would never get close because of Charlie's skepticism about Carlisle. After watching Carlisle pull away, I turned to my Dad and smiled.

"Bella." He greeted while blushing purple. He was absolutely thinking about how Carlisle probably deflowered me last night. If only he really knew.

I nodded and blushed. "Dad." I turned quickly to go upstairs and start getting ready before realizing Charlie was still staring at me from the doorway. "Did you, uh, want me to make you something for dinner? Even though I won't be here, I could make something quick…" I trailed off.

Charlie jumped at the sound of my voice before waving me off. "No, no. That's alright. Billy and Harry are having a little shin-dig at the Reservation, they asked if I'd like to go to that. I'm only stopping in though, because the town will need me for later on tonight. Dr. Cullen was telling me that you'll be home later tonight because he has to work tomorrow morning."

I nodded. "Yeah, the other doctor is really sick. So, Carlisle is going in. I'll be home around fourish.. You know, in the morning." I explained awkwardly.

He flushed purple before grunting. "Uh. If Dr. Cullen has too much to drink, make sure he doesn't drive. Either you drive, because I know you won't be drinking, or call me. You understand?"

I rolled my eyes and nodded. "Yes, I understand."

He raised an eyebrow at me and frowned. "He's coming home at 4am then going to work for the morning shift? When will he sleep?" He wondered.

My jaw gaped and I shrugged. "You know Carlisle, he'll be fine." I said with an encouraging nod.

He grunted and waved me off before turning toward the kitchen to rummage through the fridge. I sighed and made my way upstairs.

I took another quick shower, so I would be nice and fresh for tonight. I wanted to look older, so I would belong by Carlisle's side. I knew he didn't look his age, but my tiny frame and semi-curly hair just wouldn't do. I made a point of straightening my hair well, putting conditioners in it along the way so it would be extra shiny. I then gathered the extra shiny hair and pulled it to the side, securing it over my shoulder with some gold clips Alice bought.

My hair didn't even look like it belonged to me, I was so pleased.

I then took my time with the smokey eyes that Alice had shown me. I applied a mild bronzer, before heavily coating my eyes in black liners. I skeptically applied the gold shadows that Alice had bought, and was actually surprised at how great it made my eye color look.

I pulled the long, champagne-colored gown out of the zippered bag and sighed at the gorgeous fabric.

It was golden-hued silk, that wound around my waist in an intricate beaded band. The silk fabric flared out at my waist and fell in silky pleats, straight to the floor. It was absolutely gorgeous, and I spun around in it experimentally. The halter top of the dress was remarkably low, but because it was so well made I didn't need to wear a bra with it.

That, and there wasn't that much to hold up either.

I then slid on my heels that were the exact same shade as the gown, and pulled on the necklace that Carlisle had given me. The stone matched the dress beautifully. I slipped my arms into the silk jacket that was a few shades lighter than my dress, and twirled in my room.

I literally looked 25. Or maybe 23.

Maybe.

I applied some shiny gloss over my lips, and made my way downstairs.

Charlie was sitting in the living room and I heard him gasp. I blushed and walked into the room and shrugged at him. "I clean up alright, yeah?" I smirked.

He inhaled and looked like he wanted to say something, but held back. After a moment, he nodded and blew out the breath he had been holding. "You look older than you are. I'm not sure that I like that or not." He said miserably.

I rolled my eyes and smoothed my hand over the silky fabric of the dress. "I'm going to guess that you don't like it. But I look nice, right?" I pushed.

He nodded again and shrugged. "Yes, you look nice Bella." He said mechanically.

I frowned at him and jumped at the doorbell ringing. "I'll get it!" I chirped happily while running to the door carefully in my little heels.

I flung the door open and smiled widely at Carlisle. God, did he look delicious.

My mouth watered as I let my eyes walk over his slender frame. He was wearing a black jacket and pants that probably cost him more than my Dad makes in a year. It was tailored to him perfectly. Underneath the jacket, he was wearing a gold-toned shirt, with a champagne colored tie. His hair was smoothed away from his face, but it still looked silky and hairspray-free.

"Wow." I breathed. His eyes were still wandering over me, while a huge smile plastered itself to his face.

"Bella." He sighed. He leaned forward and cupped my cheek in his cool hand before he pressed his marble lips to mine. I wanted to grip him to me, but I didn't want to wrinkle the gorgeous fabric of his jacket.

I pulled away and blushed at him before pulling him inside and kissing him again. His arms clamped around my waist and I gripped the sides of his neck desperately. We were standing in the hallway making out when I heard my Dad clear his throat behind me.

I jumped and we pulled apart. I blushed furiously, while Carlisle bit his lip and averted his eyes from him.

"Dr. Cullen." He said with a curt nod of his head.

"Chief Swan." Carlisle greeted back.

I rolled my eyes and Charlie glared at me for it. "Remember what I talked to you about. If you have to much to drink, let Bella drive home. Or let her call me. I don't mind going to get you. I'll be at the station all night, probably till seven in the morning. You can reach me there."

Carlisle nodded and gripped my hand in his. "I really don't drink… alcohol… so I'll be alright. I do promise to keep her safe, however. Have a good evening, Chief. Be careful tonight also. People get crazy on New Year's Eve." He warned.

I giggled at his words before nodding in agreement. "Yes, please be careful Dad. I'll see you tomorrow morning, then?" I asked while opening the door to outside.

He nodded and frowned. "See you." He mumbled.

We got to Carlisle's car and he opened the passenger door for me, before walking at a deliberate human pace to his side of the car. The driver's side door opened, and he slid gracefully into the creamy leather seat.

He started the car, before his eyes wandered over me again. "You look like Heaven. Gorgeous, indescribable, Heaven." He admired quietly.

I blushed and my knees jittered under the silky fabric of the dress. He pulled away from the curb fluidly, the car accelerating quickly.

"I wanted to look like… I don't know…" I waved my hand absently. "I wanted to look good enough to stand next to you. You're sexy and smart, and… perfect." I blushed harder at my ridiculous rant before flicking my eyes to his.

His jaw had slackened, and his face portrayed doubt. "You think you aren't good enough for me." He said almost like a question.

I shrugged and twisted my fingers together. "Sometimes. I just…" I sucked my teeth and sighed. "I know, ultimately, they we're perfect together. I know that. Sometimes, though, I just wish I looked like I belonged with you. I wish that others could see how good we are for one another. It's… petty, I'm sure. Never mind."

He blew out a frustrated breath and reached for my hand to squeeze it. "I wish you could see yourself clearly. All I can tell you is that you're absolutely beautiful. You know what you do to me. How you affect me." His voice dropped a bit and his eyes darkened. "I crave you, all the time. Others know you're beautiful. It's for that reason that they think of me like they do. They think I'm robbing the cradle, so to speak." He laughed brightly. "Can you imagine their faces if they had any idea how old I really was?" He said through a chuckle.

I giggled and squeezed his hand. "You think I look a bit older right now?" I prodded.

His crystal eyes flickered with amusement. "You look my age, actually." He smiled wider. "You know, 23. Not 370."

We bantered a bit about him being an old man, and me being teenie-bopper. Before I realized it, we were pulling into the parking lot for the function hall.

My nerves kicked in again, and Carlisle was opening my car door in a flash. He held out his hand for me and smiled encouragingly.

I took it, and we walked inside.

Over-all, it wasn't as bad as I thought it was going to be. I had envisioned a bunch of old, snooty doctors looking down their noses at Carlisle and I. I almost thought everyone there would have a British accent.

Of course, it was none of those things. There was one lady who had a British accent but she was amazingly nice. A few other doctors spoke to me briefly, while congratulating Carlisle on finding such a wonderful woman.

A few other colleagues of his bought me champagne with Chambord in it. Between the bubbles and Chambord I was flushed and it was barely nine thirty.

Carlisle had his hand at the small of my back the whole time, and between conversations with others, he would mumble sweet words to me.

He was so lucky to have me. I was perfect. He loved me.

Between him and the alcohol he had no idea how fast I was about to pounce on him.

We ate dinner, and chatted with the others at our table. Well, I ate dinner. Carlisle pushed the food around on his plate.

"So tell us, Dr. Cullen. Why don't you come to California or New York? You could be paid so much more and your resources are almost unlimited." An elderly man asked.

Carlisle smiled alluringly. Well, I thought it was alluring. "It's not about the money for me. I like small town life. I love the woods, and the fresh air." He shrugged.

I nodded and sipped my champagne. "Plus, there's no big game in California." I added stupidly.

Carlisle was in the middle of pretending to take a sip of water when he blew out a breath and splashed water everywhere.

I blushed, while the old man slapped the table. "Carlisle! You've never mentioned that you hunt! How wonderful! I used to hunt back when I was younger. I loved elk, mostly. What do you prefer?" He asked, oblivious to the actual question he was asking.

I giggled and raised my eyebrow at him. "Come now, Carlisle. Tell us what you're favorite animal to hunt is." I repeated demurely.

He bit his lip and averted his eyes briefly, before smiling. "I suppose whatever crosses my path. Or whatever gives me the best run for my money." He said with a chuckle.

My jaw gaped a bit, and my already champagne-tinted brain tried to work out what he meant by that.

The old man chuckled and shrugged. "Touché, my friend."

A few more glasses of champagne after dinner, and a bit more talk about doctor problems, and I was half in the bag. Carlisle asked me to dance with him, and I was in the bag enough to agree.

I giggled a bit, and he pulled me against him. My entire body flushed with desire at the proximity. His hand on the small of my back, the other holding my hand over his heart. There wasn't a breath of space between our bodies, and his mouth was brushing against my ear. "Mm, Bella." He purred. "If you're not careful I might have to take you and leave this party early." He flicked his tongue out at my ear and I shuddered at his words.

"As much as I really, really, want to do that, I want you to know that I'm glad you invited me. I'm having a good time." I managed distractedly, while his mouth slid over the curve of my shoulder.

"That's good to hear." He purred. "I think you should wear this dress, always." He slid his palm over my hip and felt the material, and my hip, quite thoroughly.

I sighed and pressed into him further. "Or, I could just wear nothing."

He growled and gripped me tighter. "I'd prefer that by far."

Distantly, I heard everyone counting down. Five, Four, Three, Two, One.

Happy New Year.

Carlisle's lips crashed against mine and I sighed into his mouth. Both of his arms came around my waist and I slid my fingertips through his silky hair.

It was time to leave, definitely.

I pulled away from him and held his face to mine. "Take me home. Please?" I breathed.

His eyes glittered and he gave me a curt nod.

The drive home was a fast one and to my surprise we pulled up in front of my Dad's house. I quirked an eyebrow at him as he pulled my door open and helped me out of the car.

"You do know that I'm going to have my way with you. I don't care that we're here." I gestured seriously to my house.

His eyes darkened and he swallowed. "Perhaps we should have gone to my house. I was in such a hurry…" His eyes flickered with hesitation and I huffed.

"Oh, no. We're here, let's go." I said with a giggle. I pulled his elbow and tugged him inside the dark house, turning to him and kissing him deeply.

He stiffened for a moment, deliberating if he would allow this. I reached between us and palmed him through his dress slacks, and he jumped in surprise while a growl emitted from his throat.

His arms went around me before he picked me up and took me upstairs to my room. He set me on the bed and took his time removing his jacket, then his tie, then his button-down. I huffed at the slow pace and stood up. In a quick motion, I unhooked the halter of my dress, and slid it down my body.

I didn't need a bra, so I ended up standing there in nothing but a pair of satin booty shorts.

He stopped for a moment and admired me, before his pace picked up, ten fold.

He growled while pushing me back to the bed, and I giggled when he pressed an opened mouth kiss to my ribs.

He hovered over me, before leaning forward and kissing me gently. "Beloved." He whispered.

I smiled and kissed him again, my fingers sliding over all my favorite places on him. It took a while, because there were quite a lot of places I liked. He pulled my panties down slowly and kissed everything along the way. First my hips, then my thighs, my knees, then my ankles. I giggled and squeaked when he got to my feet. He smiled playfully and tossed the fabric to the floor. A stray thought I had wondered if that was the first pair that survived our sex life.

He settled himself between my thighs and slid inside me, slowly. I moaned at the slow pace, and the icy heat as he filled me. I gripped his hips tighter and wrapped my legs around him as our hips met. His pace was slow, but incredibly deep.

He kissed my neck, and ran his tongue over my pulse point. A wave of heat surged through me at the gesture, and his pace quickened fractionally.

Every brush of his pelvis against mine made my release much more imminent. I watched his narrow waist settle against me, before his stomach muscles contracted and he pulled away. He was glorious, and he was mine. I smoothed my fingers over his flawless face and kissed him slowly.

I moaned at the wave of desire that ripped through me and with one last thrust, I climaxed around him.

His pace increased ten fold, and his quick thrusts lengthened my release, before he buried himself deeply inside me for his own.

My breath came in quick gasps, and I wrapped my arms around him tightly. I kissed his temple and his cheek tenderly while gripping his hair. His eyes held mine, and the fire burning in their crystalline depths caused me to shudder.

He loved me. There was no question about it.

He slid off me, but still pulled me tightly against himself. I wrapped my arms around his waist and fell asleep.

"Bella." Carlisle whispered. "I have to go now, alright?" He whispered a few hours later. In my sleepy fog I nodded and grunted.

"K." I managed. "Love you."

He chuckled and kissed my temple gently. "As I love you." I felt the breeze from my bedroom window being opened and closed, and I fell back to sleep.

It felt like fifteen minutes later, and I felt the breeze of the window opening and closing again. Carlisle must have forgotten something. I felt my bed dip, and cool arms wrap around me tightly. I sighed with contentment and snuggled deeper into the embrace.

Maybe he was wrong about the time he had to be at the hospital. I cracked an eye just enough to see it was still dark outside.

Carlisle seemed rigid behind me. His arms were clamped around me, but barely in a comforting way.

"Is something wrong?" I whispered tiredly.

His grip tightened around me almost painfully. "You smell exactly like him." A cool, musical voice responded.

In an instant, I was aware. I struggled to sit up and the cool arms released me.

My heart clamored inside my chest, and I sprung out of bed completely forgetting the naked state I was in. I huffed in surprise and wrapped my quilt around me.

His eyes were pitch black, and his skin was a sickly gray. Despite his grim features, he was still beautiful. His copper hair was in disarray, and it was plain to see that it was filthy. "My God." I breathed. "Edward." I said in a shaky voice.

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**OH NOES! Haha. tell me what you think in a review. It makes me smileeee.**


	29. Chapter 29

**Hello again! I did my BEST to get this out as fast as I could for you guys. Any spelling/grammatical errors are all mine as I do not use a Beta. Thank you all for your continued support and kind words. It means SO much to me. **

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My vision darkened and I struggled to stay on my feet. He sat up fluidly and stood in front of me. Fear gripped me, and I trembled while shrinking back from him.

His eyes managed to grow darker. "I won't hurt you, Bella." Hurt flashed across his features before he composed himself.

"I… I know you won't." I managed. Was this really happening? It couldn't be.

The phone downstairs started ringing, and his eyes flicked to the bedroom door. "Let's go for a walk, shall we?"

I wasn't sure that was such a good idea, but then I didn't want to upset him further. I was certain my Dad was still at the station, and I knew it was going to be a bit before any of the Cullen's got to me. "Okay, just let me dress please." I pleaded.

He nodded, but made no effort to turn around or leave the room. I hesitated, and he sighed. "I've already seen you, Bella. Through my _Father's_ thoughts and just now, as you stood up. Get dressed." He ordered.

I blushed scarlet and slid on my sweat pants, and a sweat shirt. I pulled on my winter boots and my winter jacket before turning back to him. My hands shook violently and I dropped the gloves I was trying to slide on.

Before I could tell him I was ready, he picked me up and we jumped from my window.

I squeaked in protest, and we ran at a painfully fast pace into the woods. The wind and air was so cold it chapped my lips and face. I hid my face in the crook of his neck because the wind was too cold against my face.

We stopped quickly and he dropped me. "NO!" He yelled. He was livid, and his gaunt fingertips rubbed the side of his neck where my face had just been.

I rubbed the small of my back and tried to sit up. "I'm sorry, Edward. I'm cold. It's too cold." I whispered sadly. I stood up slowly, and watched him pace back and forth in the woods. "I'm sorry I've hurt you, Edward. Please." I begged.

He froze. "With Carlisle? Why?" He whispered brokenly. "You are perfect for me, Bella. Your thoughts are hidden from me, and you smell like the sweetest bit of heaven. You're smart, and beautiful. Why would you do this to me?" He sobbed tearlessly.

I closed my eyes briefly and tried to arrange my thoughts. "You left me in the woods, Edward. If Alice hadn't found me I'm not sure how long I would have stayed lost out there. You left me." I accused quietly.

His sharp jaw clenched and he squeezed his fists tightly. "I was _trying_ to protect you from me. From us. We aren't good for you! As good as we try to be, and as perfect as you think we all are, it's not true. We want the same things that any vampire wants." His voice dipped darkly. "Blood. Even your wonderful Carlisle thinks of it now and then."

I shook my head. "We've been trying to find you, Edward. We've been wanting to tell you about us. I'm happy. Isn't that what you wanted?"

He chuckled miserably and pulled his hair. "You've no idea how much I wanted you to find happiness. With a boy your age. Who could give you a normal life."

I shivered and shook my head again. "I've never wanted what other girls want." I reasoned.

His jaw clenched and his eyes glittered black. "Were you really in love with me at all? Or are you simply attracted to our nature? What we are?" He prodded.

My jaw gaped at him and I scoffed. "How dare you ask me that! Of course, I loved you. I still love you. Just not… in the way I thought I did. You think we're perfect for one another, but think about that. We disagree more than we do anything else. You hide things from me, and make decisions for me. I'm a big girl, Edward. I can take care of myself."

"I will kill him." His voice was so dark and menacing that my gut heaved and I buckled under the pain of it.

"No! No, you won't! Edward! He loves you! He's the reason why you're here at all! He saved you!" I sobbed.

He squeezed his eyes shut and growled. "_Saved_ me?" He yelled back, a hint of loud growling still present in his voice. "He's damned me! Over and over again! First when he turned me and doomed me to forever know what other's are thinking. Then again by leading me to you. Then teaching me to love you, and be with you." He punched a nearby tree and it creaked and fell, the loud crashing over-powering what he was saying. "…teaches me to love you, then takes you away from me! I will kill him!" He screamed.

I sobbed and collapsed to the ground. "Edward, please. Please, come here." I whispered around my sob. "Please."

He hesitated, his eyes twinkling with hurt and betrayal. He sat in front of me slowly, as trying not to alarm me. His face was bleary to me because of all the tears, but I cautiously wrapped my arms around his neck and held him. His posture remained rigid for a moment, before he finally relaxed.

His arms wound around my waist and he held me tightly. He sobbed tearlessly, his fingers gripped my jacket and I could hear some tearing. "I'm sorry, Edward."

He cried harder and buried his face in my neck. "I didn't mean to leave you, Bella. You've no idea how miserable I've been without you. How lonely I've been."

My heart broke for him, and I cried too. "Please don't hurt him, Edward. If not for him, then for me."

He pulled away from me and his face was disbelieving. "Bella, if he didn't exist you and I would be as we were then. Forgive me for leaving you, and I will forgive your discretions with Carlisle." He spoke swiftly and calmly, as though he expected me to agree.

I hesitated, simply because he was still holding me and I didn't want to upset him when a mistake could be made. I knew he was a good man who was acting out because of grief. "Edward, I…" I stopped and swallowed a lump of tears. Reaching out, I held his face gently. I wanted to remind him that I was quite breakable. He stopped breathing, and I took a few measured breaths to calm myself. "I want to have you in my life. I want you to be my friend, and talk to me. I want us to be close again… but as friends. We were almost never more than that, anyway." I whispered.

The black of his eyes seemed to widen. "How can you say that? Do you have _any_ idea how difficult it is for me to be with you the way that I was?" He sat away from me and his posture was rigid again. "To kiss you caused me physical pain. To hold you made me want to kill you. You! The only one I love in this life. How can you say that we were never more than friends?"

I wiped a few stray tears and shook my head. "Why do that to yourself? How can be we perfect for one another if it hurts to be with me? That's not a perfect life at all. I never knew how much it pained you. You are wonderful and so talented. You are obviously beautiful, and you can find someone that it's a pleasure to be with. I'm not that person, and you even said it yourself." His posture shifted to one of defeat. "Please stay, Edward. Don't leave again. Stay for your family. Alice is in Mexico looking for you, for God's sake. Go hunting, because it's not safe for you to be like this. Least of all around me. You need to know how much Carlisle loves you. Deep down, though, I think you do."

He grimaced again, and sighed. "I've heard it in his thoughts before." He whispered. "The day you almost got hit by Tyler in the parking lot. When he walked into the room to see you, his thoughts were of how beautiful you were. They were… innocent… at best, but he had never thought that about a woman, ever. Besides Esme, of course." His face pinched. "Does she know of this yet?"

I nodded. "Yes, she was here last month. She was upset at first, but she came around. She admitted she was happy for Carlisle, despite everything."

He choked on a sob. "It's so hard for me to be happy for you. I never wanted you with a monster. It's why I left in the first place."

Anger bubbled inside me. "Carlisle isn't a monster, and neither are you."

His black eyes flicked to my face before he reached for my hands with his. I stared at his open palms for a moment before sliding my hands into his. A contented sigh purred out of him. "So warm." He whispered.

We sat like that for a little while, until my fingertips started to grow cold. "You have to hunt, Edward. Are you wearing the same clothes you were wearing when you left?" I asked.

He nodded mutely and shrugged. "Perhaps I should go for a hunt, you're right."

I smiled at him and laughed a bit. "Thank God! Bring me back to the house, then you can come back when you're ready to."

He tilted his head at me and pursed his lips. "I'm not taking you back, Bella."

My heart rate picked up and I huffed disbelievingly. "You have to. You already said it's not safe for me to be around when you're… like that."

"If I take you back there, you're going to be with Carlisle again. I can't have that. I _won't_ have that." He said forcefully. "All you need is some time with me, and you'll see that I'm better for you."

My stomach clenched as worry filled my gut. Just as I started to panic, I noticed Carlisle standing at the edge of the woods behind Edward.

Edward stood slowly in an almost cat-like way. His back and neck were rigid, but his limbs were graceful and smooth. He turned to Carlisle and snarled at him. The noise was unlike anything I had ever heard come out of someone. I stood up quickly and moved in front of Edward, which was possibly a stupid thing to do.

"Bella, get out of the way." He growled.

I shook my head and backed up to Carlisle. I bumped into him and sighed. Edward wouldn't do a thing while I was standing in front of him.

Carlisle barely breathed behind me. "Bella, Edward is right. You should stand away from me right now. Edward is not himself."

Edward laughed. "How can I be, _Father_?" He spat the gesture out like a cuss word. "You knew how I loved her! You knew what she meant to me! How can you keep doing this to me? First by damning me to this life, then by taking the only person I love away from me?" Edward's body was practically vibrating with the force of how loud he was yelling, and I shrank back against Carlisle.

Without thinking about it, Carlisle's hand wrapped around my torso in an effort to comfort me. Edward growled louder and Carlisle quickly removed his arm. "Edward, I love you. You are my son, my first companion in this life. You've looked up to me, and we've learned from one another. I know you feel as though I'm stealing her, but I'm not. I want her to be happy, and she's happy with me. I love her, son. I love her more than anything. All the darkness that was in my heart while I was with Esme is gone. You asked me once about it, and you told me she didn't want to be with me anymore. Well, now I know why. She wasn't meant for me because Bella was." His voice was soft and smooth and I felt myself relax with every word he spoke.

Edward snarled. "If you didn't mean so much to me, Carlisle, then I wouldn't be so fucking angry! This isn't about what makes her happy now. When you were pursuing her, why did you not think of me? How could you ignore how it would make me feel?"

Carlisle's breathing was uneven behind me. "By God, Edward you have no idea how much I thought of you. How conflicted I was because I knew it would hurt you. I ignored her for weeks because I didn't want to hurt you. My feelings for her, however, were too big to ignore. So, I'm sorry that I've hurt you. But I love her, and I love you. Let that be enough, Edward." He whispered.

Edward vibrated for a moment. It looked as though he was going to burst out of his skin. "Fuck you, Carlisle." He yelled.

I flinched at his voice and stepped away from Carlisle. "Edward, please. Stop this." I said softly. "I want you in my life. I miss you. Carlisle misses you. If it's too difficult for you to be around then we will make arrangements for that. Just don't leave us again."

His face softened. "Why do you sound so genuine? I know you don't really care if I'm here or not." He said doubtfully.

"You don't know anything!" I spat. "I am telling you I've missed you, and that I want you in my life. I'm telling you that if you love me as you say you do, then we can still have one another. Be my friend, Edward. Be there for me. Be there for Carlisle." I pleaded.

Carlisle sighed behind me and Edward flinched at the noise. "You keep saying that you want me to be there. I want to kill him, Bella. What part of that don't you understand? If I returned, and he loved you but treated you respectfully, that would be one thing. He's taken your innocence! Without marrying you first! How can he love you but taint you in the eyes of God?" He wondered.

Carlisle growled. "I love her, Edward. You and I see eye to eye when it comes to our religious beliefs. I wanted to do right by her, and wait till marriage. In that fact, I suppose I have failed her. She is a grown woman, and we both wanted it. I didn't force her, if that's what you meant to imply."

The smooth lines of Edward's face portrayed disgust. "Tell me he's lying, Bella. Tell me you didn't really want him. Tell me that he persuaded you to be intimate with him. Do you have any idea how many women he's been with, just since I've known him?"

Carlisle stepped forward. "Edward, it's not-"

"Ten!" Edward finished anyway. "I've read in his thoughts that he's been with dozens more before me. He's a scoundrel! He's used you for his sins of the flesh and you welcomed him with open arms." He accused. His dark eyes glittered wildly and he pulled his fingers through his dirty, copper hair.

My mind was running quickly. Now was not the time to get jealous or to acknowledge anything Edward was saying. "Edward, he's a good man. He's been alive for almost four hundred years. That's a long time to have been with a few dozen women. Before you, he was lonely. He did his best to make his long life feel more full. You had him in your life from the moment you were changed. You don't know what it's like to be alone for three hundred years." I defended.

Carlisle sighed behind me. "I'm not proud of the things I've done. We all have our past discretions, don't we, Edward? You left me for ten years because you wanted to maintain a human diet. I feel as though we are both even as far as our emotional voids that need filling."

Edward snarled at Carlisle's response. "So you think it's different with her? You thought Esme was your mate, and you were wrong. What if you're wrong again. What if she really is meant for me, and you realize it when she's older. When it's too late for me to have her love me again." He reasoned.

Carlisle and I must have thought the same thing, because he screamed and squeezed his eyes shut. "_No_! I will fucking kill you before you doom her to this fate! You turned Esme because you loved her, and now she is alone! You will do the same thing to Bella! I will kill you!" He yelled forcefully.

In a flash that was entirely too quick for me too see, I was tossed from my place in front of Carlisle. I heard the sound of stone clapping together, and when I hit the ground I turned to see what had happened.

Edward was on top of Carlisle, the two of them looked entirely feral. Edward's fist connected to Carlisle's jaw, and the resounding noise was unimaginable.

I stood slowly, my back and legs bruised from being thrown. "Stop this! Edward!" I yelled.

Carlisle's eyes flicked to mine briefly and I knew without a doubt that he would not hurt Edward, no matter what. Edward continued smashing his fists into Carlisle, and I screamed so loudly I wasn't sure my voice would ever be the same. Edward finally heard me and turned to see if I was alright. The moment's distraction gave Carlisle the chance he needed.

He threw Edward off him with incredible force. His body was still in the air when Carlisle got to me. He picked me up quickly, and we ran at break-neck speed through the woods.

Edward was faster.

We ran for a few minutes when Edward caught up to us. Carlisle gripped me tighter as Edward wrapped his arm around Carlisle's neck. Carlisle set me down, and stepped a few paces away from me with Edward still holding him tightly.

"Tell her you love her, Carlisle." Edward encouraged.

Pain etched across Carlisle's features, and I noticed… cracks… in Carlisle's neck. Edward was going to pull his head off.

My limbs were shaking, and I was yelling as loudly as I dared. Edward gripped a little tighter, and his jaw clenched with resolve. "I love him, Edward. Don't take him away from me! Please." I sobbed.

Edward's grip loosened fractionally, and I sobbed louder. "How can you love him more than me, my Bella?" He whispered brokenly.

I wiped the tears from my face furiously. "He's got so much good inside him, Edward. He is compassionate and loving to a degree I have never known. He won't even fight you off, in fear of hurting you. How can you kill him? How can you kill him when he won't dare hurt you?" I screamed.

His grip relaxed and his jaw unclenched. He let Carlisle go as though he was shocked. Taking a few steps back, Edward collapsed in the leaves and sobbed bitterly. My breathing was labored, and I hunched forward to prevent myself from being sick.

Carlisle stood still for a moment, and the small cracks in his neck healed instantly. He focused on me and he swallowed. "Bella, are you alright?" He managed.

I nodded and pointed to Edward behind him. Carlisle turned slowly and walked to the heap that was Edward. He crouched down in front of him and gathered Edward to him. Edward cried tearlessly, and my heart broke for them.

Edward gripped Carlisle's arm tightly, and his sobs quieted. "I can hear how much you love her. It kills me that I opened the opportunity to you, but I am glad you were there for her when I was not. I'm sorry, Carlisle." He whispered.

Carlisle smiled and squeezed Edward tighter. "I'm sorry too, my son. I should have sought you out. You can hear what she means to me. Can you hear what you mean to me, Edward?" Carlisle whispered sadly.

I heard a bit of rustling behind me, and I turned to find it was Emmett and Rosalie. "It's okay." I rasped.

Emmett's eyes widened at Carlisle and Edward's embrace, while Rosalie looked skeptical. Emmett walked to me slowly with his eyes fixed on Edward. When he got to me, he picked me up and held me as though I would break apart at any moment. "We're going to take you back to the house. They need some time." Emmett said quietly.

Edward flicked his eyes to mine, and he pulled away from Carlisle. "I won't hurt her, Emmett." His musical voice was dark.

Emmett nodded and shuffled his feet, the movement barely jostling me. "Of course not, bro. You look like hell though. So, I'm gonna take Bells to the house with Rosalie, then we can all go for a hunt. Sound good?"

Edward deliberated for a moment, then nodded. "Yeah." His posture was still that of a defeated man, but he was at least trying.

"I'll take Bella home." Rosalie interjected. "You three go. Be kind to each other, okay?" She scolded. Emmett put me down gently, and I realized just how sore I actually was. Rosalie picked me up, but shifted me so I was sitting on her back.

Carlisle was focused completely on Edward, and I realized just how much he really meant to him. "See you later?" I asked Edward, who was looking at me intently.

He looked surprised for a moment, and checked to see who I was talking to. He nodded and a hint of the crooked smile that I loved graced his features. "I need some time, but yes. You'll see me later." He promised.

I nodded, and Carlisle looked at me longingly. Edward grimaced, no doubt at Carlisle's thoughts, and I knew just how difficult this was going to be for everyone.

We watched as the three of them ran briskly into the woods away from us, and I rested my face against Rosalie shoulder.

She sighed as well. "I'm sorry it took so long for us to get to you. Alice called, and she's on her way. She and Jazz should be here within the hour. She was trying to call us, but Emmett and I were… indisposed." She explained. "When the phone rang for the hundredth time we knew something must have been wrong. Emmett and I aren't trackers, by any stretch of the imagination." She said with a smile in her voice.

She made her way back to their house slowly, for my benefit I was sure. "This will be hard for everyone." I said randomly.

She chuckled darkly. "Honey, I'm not sure the shit's even hit the fan yet."

I was sure she was right.

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**A/N: Reviews make me happy. There isn't that much left to this story, dear friends. Possibly 5 more chapters, depending on how much detail I get into. So, please review!**


	30. Chapter 30

**Hello, everyone! I got some amazing reviews last chapter, so I wanted to say thank you thank you so so much for all your kind words. I know the drama is high and mighty right now. Please bare with me. haha.**

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As soon as Rosalie entered their home, I made sure to call Charlie to let him know where I was. Of course, he was less than please that I had 'slept at the Cullen's", but his anger was better than if he knew the truth.

I made my way to Carlisle's room carefully. My back was absolutely killing me, and I needed a shower badly. Never mind how I needed a human moment, definitely.

I used the master bathroom in Carlisle's room, then took a quick shower to get the leaves and debris out of my hair. I then filled the tub with hot water and a ton of the sandalwood bath gel that Carlisle used.

More than anything else, it was comforting because it smelled like him.

I sat in the delicious smelling water for more than an hour before I decided I really needed to get out.

I took my time brushing my hair and getting dressed. I pulled on a pair of dark wash skinny jeans and my favorite green sweater. I went into my room and deliberated over whether or not to wear the pendant Carlisle gave me before I decided that I was going to wear it no matter what.

Besides, the odds were pretty good that Edward didn't know what it was.

After I was finished getting dressed, almost 3 hours had gone by and Carlisle was still not home. I sat on my bed looking out my window, and cried for the shitty situation we were in.

I cried because I had hurt Edward and caused a rift between he and Carlisle.

Mostly I cried because I wasn't sure there was anything I could do to make it better.

After only a few moments of shedding tears, there was a knock on my door.

"It's open," I croaked, hoping it was Carlisle.

Alice peeked her head in before flitting over to the side of the bed and sitting with me. She immediately pulled me into a hug and kissed my cheek. I smiled, and hugged her back tightly. I really had missed her when she was gone.

"I missed you, Bella." She said sincerely in her high soprano. "I'm so sorry I didn't see where he was. He was near Forks the whole time! Can you imagine?" She said with wonder.

I sniffled and pulled away from her. "Was he, really?"

She sighed and nodded. "I couldn't place where he was at all. There is a small hunting facility about an hour away from here. He was in one of the abandoned cabins for months. He was in the woods when Carlisle left this morning. When he made the decision to take you, I knew where he was. I tried calling your house but it was too late. I don't know what I would have done if he would have hurt you. His mind kept racing with how thirsty he was. He wanted to drain you, almost the whole time. He really does love you, Bella. It's what makes this so hard."

I sobbed a bit louder and leaned against her. "I know he does. I hate that I'm doing this to him, and I refuse to give up Carlisle. I'm so selfish it's disgusting."

She smiled and shook her head. "I wouldn't give up Jasper for anyone. I mean that literally, and with no offense to anyone else. He's my mate, therefore the most important thing to me. I understand why you won't give up on Carlisle. It's not selfish at all." She promised.

I hiccupped and groaned tiredly. "Is Carlisle alright right now?" I asked.

Alice's vision focused and unfocused before she smiled. "He and Edward will have a real talk tonight. They will be okay, for the most part. Right now they are mostly focused on getting Edward healthy again."

I thought about that for a moment. "What do you mean 'for the most part'?" I asked slowly.

Her ebony eyebrow quirked and she frowned. "Initially, Edward will not like anything that you and Carlisle do. For example, when he gets home later tonight, try to be… discreet about how happy you are. You know?"

I leaned back on my bed and blinked tiredly. "Yeah, you mean don't… kiss him and make a big deal. Right?"

She smiled and smoothed her cool fingers over my temple. "Pretty much. Get some sleep, Bella. Tonight will be trying for you."

I wanted to stay awake and ask her what she meant, but my tired muscles won out.

What felt like hours later, I cracked an eye open and sat up slowly. It was still light out, so I knew I hadn't slept that long. I glanced at my clock and groaned. It was just after five, so I had slept for almost six hours.

I stretched tiredly, and used the bathroom. I decided that my back was sore enough that it required three Advil. I crept downstairs quietly so as not to disturb anyone. For whatever reason, I felt incredibly burdensome and didn't want to be any more of a bother.

I had two bowls of cereal for dinner. I was still starving, but couldn't find the effort to eat anything else.

I was washing the bowl when Jasper slid gracefully into the seat at the island. "Good evening, Bella." He greeted formally.

I smiled and placed the bowl on the dish rack before sitting with him at the island. "Hey. Glad you're back." I said sincerely.

He smiled widely at that, and nudged me. "You know, I can feel the self-loathing rolling off you in waves."

I huffed and flushed red. "Okay."

His honey eyes bored into me. "I want you to know that we want you here. We want you to feel like family, because you are. Eddie will be alright." He soothed.

Despite the situation, I laughed. "It won't be if he ever hears you call him 'Eddie'."

Jasper raised an eyebrow. "Are you sure you're alright?" He prodded.

"I'm fine." I said quickly. At his scowl I knew he was aware it was a lie.

"You almost saw your first love kill your soul mate. Or haven't you realized that?" His tone wasn't accusing so much as concerned.

My jaw tightened and tears threatened to fall. "Jazz. Please." I pleaded.

He reached for my hand and squeezed it very, very, gently before a wave of calm washed over me. He had never used his gift on me so thoroughly and I sighed at the emotion. "Don't fret about it, darlin'. My Dad used to always tell me, 'Son, don't worry 'bout nothin', cause nothin's gonna be alright'."

I laughed genuinely about that. "You still remember that?" I asked.

He nodded and smiled. "I remember cause it's as honest of a thing as one can promise." He stood slowly and patted my shoulder. "I'm here if you need me. Of course, you knew that."

I nodded thankfully. "Thanks, Jazz."

I went into Carlisle's study and read for a while, until there was a knock at the door. "Yes?"

Carlisle stepped into the room quietly before shutting the door behind him. I dropped the book on the floor and had to physically stop myself from making a scene like I was told not to do.

My breathing picked up as he stood there, taking me in. His honey eyes were incredibly light, a sure sign that he had hunted. "Edward is staying in the cottage where Esme stayed. It's out of hearing range, in every sense for Edward." He said meaningfully.

My heart hammered inside my chest and I stood quickly. In a few quick strides I jumped at him, throwing my arms around his neck and wrapping my legs around his waist. I kissed his neck and his cheek, before finding his marble lips and kissing him for all it was worth.

He held me tightly, and kissed me back reverently. "So scared to lose you." I babbled and cried against his lips. "Can't lose you." I sobbed louder.

He pulled me tighter against himself and moved us to sit on the leather couch. I stayed in his lap and cried against his broad shoulder while he rubbed soothing circles against my lower back.

"You'll never lose me, my Beloved." He promised.

I leaned away from him and glared. "You wouldn't even fight back. How can you promise me that?"

Carlisle let out a long breath and glanced away from me. "I don't know how else to say it, but Edward would not have let me die. There is no doubt he would have hurt me, but as far as killing me… I did not believe it." He promised. "I know him, possibly better than anyone. He's hurt right now, and once he has some time things will get better."

A few tears managed to leak from my eyes and Carlisle swept them away with his cool fingertips. "You don't know what it was like for me, watching him do that to you." I whispered. "Maybe you knew he wouldn't kill you but I didn't know it."

He pulled me close to his body and kissed my temple. "I'm sorry. I wish it would have gone differently. I'm glad you spoke to him. You mean…. a lot to him." He said slowly.

I nodded and smoothed the collar of his shirt. "Will he ever be better? You told me that when a vampire loves, it's forever. Will he be hurt over this forever?" I whispered brokenly.

He hesitated and shook his head. "I don't believe so. Edward is strong and he will realize that you weren't meant for him. He only needs time, Bella."

I leaned forward and kissed him soundly. "Okay."

An hour later Charlie called and asked that I come home. It was difficult to come up with a reason why I wanted to stay without telling him more than I should. Alice assured me that it was better than I go home anyway, because Edward was going to visit them later tonight.

I left rather reluctantly, especially when Alice drove me home. I let go of Carlisle after a long moment, and I kissed him again. "Bella." Alice interrupted. "Remember what we talked about? At least for a little while you can't be like this with him."

I groaned and let him go, and he looked just as put out about it as I did. We walked slowly to Carlisle's car, and I swallowed tightly when I noticed Edward's Volvo sitting in the drive-way besides.

"Where did this come from?" I asked slowly while sliding my fingers over the hood.

Alice's eyes twinkled. "We kept it in storage for him till he got back. I went and picked it up this afternoon. Why?"

I smiled gently. "Nostalgia. No reason." I blushed and shrugged. "Let's go."

The drive home was a quiet one, and when we pulled up to my house Alice said nothing for a few moments.

"Bella." She said finally. "Don't be frightened later. Alright?" She asked vaguely.

"Um… Okay?" I opened the car door and stepped out. "See you later Alice. Love you."

She smiled widely. "I love you too."

I watched her drive away and I sighed when I turned to find my Dad staring at us from the porch. "Were you with Alice?" He asked slowly.

I nodded. "Carlisle had to work, so I spent the day with her." I lied. "Why?"

Charlie shuffled out of the way so I could make my way inside. "I don't know, kid. I just assumed it must be the Doc keeping you out."

I smiled and grabbed a bottled water from the fridge. "You know Dad, my life doesn't revolve around him entirely." I lied again.

He smiled and nodded. "No, of course not. Hey, Harry made some of his fish fry if you're interested."

My stomach turned. "I think I'll pass." I said with a laugh.

I went upstairs around eight and took another quick shower. I threw on my sweatpants and a pink camisole that Alice had bought me. I loved the tops, but the stupid underwear were not comfortable at all.

I stepped inside my dark room and flicked the light on. "Oh!" I yelled in surprise. Edward was sitting in the rocking chair in the corner of the room. He looked much better, his eyes now that honey color I'd come to trust. He was wearing sweatpants and a grey tee shirt.

"Bells? You alright?" My Dad yelled from downstairs. Edwards eyes widened and he smiled gently.

"Oh, yeah. Dad, I just stubbed my toe." I lied again. He bit back a laugh and rubbed his jaw slowly.

"Lord, Bella." He said miserably. I closed the door with a decisive click and stared at him. He had taken a shower as well, his hair standing on end in it's usual disheveled fashion.

I swallowed and took a step away from the door. I reached slowly for my white bathrobe and slid it on as well. "Hello." He greeted. My stomach clenched when I noticed it was exactly how he said it when he first spoke to me in Biology.

I sat cautiously on my bed and he grimaced. "You look much better." I said casually.

His grimace deepened. 'You're frightened of me. I'm sorry, Bella." He pulled himself tighter into the rocking chair, his posture as unassuming as he could manage.

I shook my head. "No, I'm just… worried. I don't want this to be too soon for you."

His honey eyes bored into me. "I need to do this. For me." He explained.

I nodded and settled myself in the center of my bed. "Okay."

He hesitated for a moment, before his jaw clenched tightly. "You told me that after I left you were lost in the woods…" He prodded.

I nodded. "I know that you only walked me behind the house, but I ran after you. I looked for you until it was dark out. Alice found me and took me to your house."

His grimace deepened and he took in a slow, shaky breath. "I'm truly sorry for that. I didn't know."

I nodded and shrugged. "It was more my fault than anything."

He shook his head. "None of this is your fault."

"Okay, stop that right there." I demanded while holding my hand out to him. "We are all at fault. Including me. I don't think there's one bit of this that could have been done worse."

His sharp features looked surprised. "Okay." He conceded.

I stared at him for a moment and stood slowly to sit on the desk next to the chair. He looked wary and I swallowed. "Is this alright?" I asked.

He nodded. "Yes. I don't understand why you want to be closer, but it's fine."

I frowned and folded my arms across myself. "You said that it always hurts you to be near me. Physically and now emotionally. I don't understand why you want to be closer, either." I threw back. He inhaled slowly. For the first time I noticed his was taking measured breaths to be near me. My heart broke for it. "I'm sorry." I whispered.

He held his breath for a moment and frowned. "I may have over-reacted a bit. It wasn't… all bad." He chuckled. I found no humor in it and said nothing. "Right now, it's difficult because I've been without you for so long. It's like being hit with a brick wall, over and over again. It stuns me, your scent. It makes me burn, and ache with desires I only want to suppress. However I desire your company in the same primal way. I ache for the quiet of your mind, as well as the gentle quality of your soul. It's all very conflicting."

A few tears leaked from my eyes and I smiled. "It's possibly the most effed up thing anyone's ever said to me." I chuckled.

His eyes widened and he smiled. "Effed?" He repeated.

I shrugged and he smiled wider. "You should have said that to me from the beginning. I knew it was difficult for you, but I never wanted you to suffer for me."

He shook his head, the movement making the ends of his hair sway gently. "I'd rather have your company and suffer, than not and suffer all the same."

I choked on a sob and reached for his cool hand. He took it carefully and held it against his heart. "I never wanted to hurt you." I whispered.

His eyes glittered at me, and he drew in a slow breath. "I know it."

We sat like that for a few moments, when he cautiously pulled my wrist up to his nose. I held my breath and my pulse took off like a butterfly's wings. "Edward." I cautioned.

He smiled and locked his eyes with mine. "I'll be fine." He promised. He inhaled slowly, his breath catching a few times. When he opened them again he looked resolved. "It won't be so hard now." He promised.

I nodded and when he released my wrist I tucked it inside my lap. We sat quietly for a few moments until he spoke. "When did you realize… Carlisle?" He asked vaguely, though I understood completely.

"Edward…" I breathed.

He sat up slowly and ran his hands through his hair. "I want to know. If it becomes too much, I'll tell you so. Please."

I breathed slowly and nodded. "You aren't going to like it one bit." I promised.

He smiled crookedly. "That bad?"

I nodded. "I went to the reservation one night. They had a… keg and moonshine." I said slowly. His nostrils flared but he said nothing. "I drank way, way too much and Carlisle came to get me because I tried to drive home drunk."

His eyes snapped to mine and he growled. "Bella!" He scolded.

I held my hands up to him and looked at him meaningfully. "I know. Stupid." I conceded. "Carlisle came to get me, and he took care of me. He yelled at me for all it was worth. The next day, he gave me his mother's pendant." I reached inside the bathrobe and pulled it out. I held the back to him and smiled. "It has 'Cullen' engraved on the back. He told me he wanted to have one made for me, but this was better. I knew then, that the feelings I had for him were more than friendship. We had so much trouble in the beginning. He was so scared that people would be hurt by it." I said slowly.

He watched me carefully. "So it was you who persuaded him? Why am I not surprised." He said with a chuckle.

I glared at him. "Says the guy who invented dazzling to get his way." I teased.

He looked at me meaningfully. "I don't suppose I could dazzle my way through this one, then?"

I blushed and looked away. "You've still got it, but I'm afraid not."

He sighed. "Did you… were you really in love with me?" He asked.

I held his gaze firmly. "Yes, I was. I realized though, after you left, that being in love should be easy. There may be outward difficulties, but between the two people that are in love… it should be as easy as breathing. It was never easy with you and I. Don't get me wrong, I was prepared to latch onto you and not let you leave. I didn't understand then what I do now." I explained.

He grimaced. "It was never easy with you and I. You're exactly right." We sat silently for another moment. "Bella, I've missed you." He said genuinely.

I smiled and reached out slowly to smooth my fingertips over the ends of his hair. "I know you don't believe it but I really have missed you, too."

He smiled and nodded. "I believe you. You are a terrible liar, after all."

I laughed and shrugged. "Will you be staying this time? Carlisle will be devastated if you leave again. I'll be devastated…" I added quietly.

He pressed a finger under my chin and tilted my face toward his. "Bella, Where else would I go?" He repeated seriously.

I sobbed at the familiar words, and before I really thought it out I hugged him to myself. He hesitated briefly, before wrapping his hard arms around my waist. I cried against him softly, while he soothed me. I felt incredibly selfish, but the thought only made me cry harder.

After a few moments, I pulled away. I wiped my tears aggressively and forced a smile. "It won't be so hard now." I said, repeating his words.

He smiled widely and stood up. "I'll take you, Bella. Anyway I can have you. If you want me as a friend, I'll be the best friend you could ask for. I have quite a bit of making up to do." He said miserably.

"I don't want you to be miserable." I said while stand up and moving in front of him.

He looked down to me and smiled. "I already said I'd be more miserable without you."

I smiled and nodded. "Will we be friends that hang out? Or is that too much to ask right now?" I said, trying my best to not sound needy.

He hesitated and closed the space between us. He wrapped his arms around me and I pressed my face into his chest. "I'll be here, whenever you want. Whenever you need. I promise, Bella." His voice rumbled in his chest.

I smiled against him, and held him tighter. I knew, deep down, that this was inappropriate. I wasn't sure why I was allowing it to go on, but I did.

We stood quietly for a few moments, Edward pressing a gentle kiss to my temple. "Do you… really want to be like us?" He asked quietly. "I don't want that for you, Bella."

I sighed and pulled away from him, leaving my hands inside his. "I know you don't. But it's all I've ever wanted. I've never… fit in… anywhere. I've always been an outsider, looking in. I've never wanted what normal girls want. I don't want kids, or picket fences. I don't want a family dog…" I said with a giggle.

He laughed too. "Well, you do have Jacob." He reasoned.

I scowled. "Edward, that's not nice."

He smiled wider and shrugged. "Sorry, please continue."

"Yes.." I responded tartly. "I've always wanted it. I will probably wait till later though. Originally, I wanted to right after high school. I'm thinking though, that I'd like to be older. I want to go to college, and see some things. There's nothing wrong with my arrangement right now, you know? I belong with your family. It's not just Carlisle that's swaying my decision, it's all of you. I love you all enough to want to keep you forever. One lifetime just isn't enough." I smiled.

He smiled gently. "I hate it. I won't lie and say otherwise. I only want you to be happy, and it's not my place to tell you what to do." He blinked and sighed. "It never was, though. I am glad that you've decided to wait. That makes it minutely better."

I smiled. "I'm not ready to lose my Dad yet. I'd be losing too much initially. A few more years with him, and I'll have to leave him anyway. Carlisle already doesn't look his age. Only four more years and we'll have to leave no matter what."

Edward chuckled and glanced away. "Carlisle is supposed to be thirty eight. He's twenty three. I don't see what difference four years will make." He shrugged.

I glared at him. "You're not being helpful." I accused.

He smiled again. "I'm sorry." He glanced at the bedroom window, and I noticed that his eyes had grown darker again. "I should be going."

I swallowed tightly and nodded before I squeezed his fingers that were still laced with my own. "It's hard on you right now, isn't it?" I asked quietly.

His jaw flexed and he nodded again. "In every way it can be."

I pulled my hands from his and his face portrayed hurt. "I will see you, Edward." I promised.

He smiled crookedly and kissed my cheek quickly. "I look forward to it, Bella. Sweet dreams." He whispered before sliding my window open and jumping quietly to the ground below.

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**A/N: I know there was a lot of Edward in this chapter. Don't be upset, it REALLY had to be done. Edward isn't really a bad guy, and I wanted to make that clear. ****They had to talk it out, and get past it. Carlisle returns full throttle next chapter. Thank you again!**

**Reviews make me smile.**


	31. Chapter 31

**Hello everyone! I'd like to take a minute to explain some things. First off, this chapter is shorter than others. One reason being that I was going to do multi-POV's, but I HATE that. So, aside from this chapter there will be a Carlisle POV OUTTAKE posted a few days from now. I say I few days because I want to get him right. His voice needs to be perfect, Obv.**

**So, please leave reviews and add me to your alerts if you'd like to be notified when the OUTTAKE is posted. It WILL NOT be posted in this story. I don't know why not, I just feel like it doesn't belong here if its not BPOV. ya know? On with the chappie!**

**EDIT- THE OUTTAKE IS POSTED ON MY PROFILE. Read this chapter first, then the out take! **

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After sliding the window shut, I moved to my bed where I sat numbly. My heart was still racing and tearing itself to pieces. There was no question, I felt awful about the situation. There was a small part of me that just wanted to see Edward happy, no matter what he wanted.

There was a small part of me that wanted to make it happen for him.

The thought of it though, made me feel sick. It wasn't what I wanted, in any sense of the word. It was time I started doing things that I wanted, instead of trying only to please others.

Edward had promised me that no matter what, we would be friends. Things would get easier with time, I had to believe that.

I wanted Carlisle to come. Badly.

Without realizing it, I started crying. It seemed that was all I did lately. I had told myself I was going to be strong for everyone and yet here I sit, feeling sorry for myself.

After a few minutes, my Dad knocked on my door to tell me he was going to bed. I swallowed some tears and answered him back, so he wouldn't think anything was wrong.

It was getting harder and harder to keep up that charade.

I sat on my bed for possibly another half an hour, when my window slid open. Carlisle sat on my window frame and looked at me in confusion.

I did my best to not show it, but it didn't matter. He knew anyway.

His eyes held mine for a moment, before they slid away from me and landed on the rocking chair. He moved into the room and closed the window behind him.

His beautiful body went rigid, and he stared at me in disbelief. "Why do you smell like Edward?" He asked carefully.

I took in a shaky breath, and shrugged. "He just came over. We talked it out, everything went fine." I assured.

His face pinched with hurt. "I know he was here, I'm asking why you smell like him." He retorted.

I threw my hands in the air and sobbed. "We hugged! Is that alright? I didn't fuck him, if that's what you're worried about." I managed crudely. "He could barely stand to be in here because of how I smell to him."

Carlisle sat slowly in the rocking chair and I cried at the distance between us. "I know you didn't… with him…" He explained. "I'm scared, Bella. My son is a deserving man. I worry…"

I shook my head. "You don't get it. You have nothing to worry about. I only want you. I just… feel for him. I hate that he's hurting. I feel like this is hurting me more than it should, and I feel even more guilty for admitting that."

Carlisle was at my side in a flash. He picked me up and turned me so I was sitting in his lap. His lips pressed to my temple, my cheek, my jaw. I sighed contentedly and wrapped my arms around his broad shoulders. "What you need to know, is perhaps something I should have told you." He started. I pulled away from him and he frowned. "Everyone has one true mate out there. The one person that was meant for them, that would complete their soul. You are that for me, and I for you."

I smiled and nodded, before he continued. "However, there are others in our lives that could offer us a significant happiness should we never find our mate. Edward was that to you, as Esme was for me. I will be honest with you. If I would have met you one year after Esme and I got married, I would have let you slip away from me. It's terrible to admit, but I did love her. Just as you love Edward. The difference is, Edward left you. He opened the possibility for you to find me. If he would never have left, things would be just as they were before. Am I right?"

I thought about that for a moment. If Edward had stayed, would I have noticed Carlisle? Well, I had already noticed him and recognized how wonderful he was. Would I have acted on it though? Probably not. Edward was everything to me.

He was all I knew.

I nodded my head at him. "I wouldn't have broke his heart to be with you, no." I conceded.

He nodded. "I know it. So, you're attachment to him is understandable. Just know that I love you. You both need time with this, and I get that. I want to see you both happy again. You're the two most important people to me in this life." He promised.

His eye lids fluttered shut and the pale lavender contrasted sharply against his ivory complexion. I leaned forward and kissed each lid, and a small smile played on his lips. "There was one other thing I'd like to talk about, if that's alright…" I hesitated.

He leaned away and studied my face. "And what might that be?"

I blushed and folded the collar of his green shirt. "I'd like to wait a while… before I become like you. Of course, if something might happen to me and that was the only option, please do it. In the meantime, I'd like a few more years with my Dad…" I said slowly. I blushed harder at how stupid I sounded.

Carlisle smiled. "Why are you worried? Anything you want, Bella. If you wanted to stay human, I would accept that. I just want you in my life, any way I can have you. I will be honest that in maybe five years we'll have to move on. None of us will look our age. We already don't."

I wrapped my arms around his waist and pressed a kiss to his marble lips. "I don't want to stay human, no way. Maybe when I'm like… 25? Plus, this way we'd be closer in actual age. So five years is about right. I'd like more time with Charlie, and that would be perfect. Oh, and I never ever want to be anyone's mother. Got that?" I giggled while jabbing him in the chest.

He feigned hurt. "Alice will be heart broken. Think of how this will hurt Emmett!" He dead-panned.

I giggled harder. "Poor Rosalie will be devastated as well."

He pulled my hips flush against his and groaned. "I do so love playing house, too." He moaned.

My body flushed at his tone and proximity and I sighed. "Carlisle, please."

He looked entirely put out and groaned. "You have no idea how badly I want you, crave you… but…" He grimaced and glanced to the window. "Alice advised me that tonight was not the night for this. A few times, actually."

I contained a teenage angst fit and bit back a sob. "He's not going to come back. He could barely stand to sit here with me." I reasoned while palming him aggressively through his jeans.

His low purr was the only noise he made before he flipped us over quickly. "You don't understand how badly I want you. First, because I always want you this way." He said quickly while his eyes turned to coal. His hands were a flurry of movement while he untied my robe and slid my chemise up and away from my chest. "Secondly, because you smell so strongly of someone else that I feel compelled to do something about it. So you smell like me." He growled while lapping at my breasts. "Mine." He concluded, before tearing my sweats away from me.

I bit my hand in an effort to keep quiet, though some moans and sighs still escaped my lips. In an instant, he was pressed against me and pushing into me. I was ready for him, in every sense. "Yours." I agreed.

I rolled my hips forward to meet his and he leaned in to sear my lips in a kiss that was so aggressive that I was momentarily dazed by the taste of him on my lips. His hips slammed against mine, filling me and pushing deeper each time. A slow burn started in the pit of my stomach and I knew I wouldn't last.

"Carlisle, top. Please." I mumbled. Thank God he knew what I wanted, because he sat up and pulled me with him. He laid back against my pillows and I dropped the robe that was still hanging from my shoulders.

I rocked on him gently, getting used to the intense feeling of him buried so deeply inside of me. "Mine." I whispered. He squeezed my thighs and took in a shaky breath.

When I felt comfortable, I rocked against him harder. It only took a few moments, and before I knew it I was leaning back against his legs and going as fast as I dared. It was only a moment after that when I came hard. I bucked on top of him, pulling him against me. He wrapped his arms around my waist and thrust a few more times before I felt him finish. I fell forward against him and kissed him tiredly. "Carlisle, love you." I giggled.

He shifted my knee so he was still inside me, but I was comfortable. "As I love you, my beloved." His voice was low, and he trailed his fingertips over my spine. I shivered at the contact, but not from cold.

He twitched inside me, and I groaned. "Mmm, round two?" I chuckled.

He sighed reluctantly. "I'm not sure that's a good idea. As much as I'd love to." He chuckled and ran his fingertips over my breasts before pulling my face close to his. I blushed with self-consciousness at being scrutinized so closely. "You're beautiful." He whispered with absolute wonder in his honey voice.

I smiled and kissed him soundly. "You are, too." He rolled his eyes about being called beautiful and I laughed. "Can you stay tonight?" I asked with a bit of pleading in my voice.

He blinked and shrugged. "It's probably not a good idea, but we're breaking all the rules anyway." He lifted me from his lap and I grunted at the loss. "You should probably get some new pants. There's a chance we may get a visit tonight. Just in case." He reasoned.

I nodded and got out of bed. "Should I… would it be better if I took a quick shower, too?" I asked while blushing.

He seemed to think about this for a moment. "I'd like for you to smell like that for everyone that meets you, so they know you're taken. However, perhaps tonight it would be better if you would."

I sighed and nodded. I grabbed a new pair of sweats and some clean underwear before creeping to the bathroom. After a quick shower, I grabbed a bottled water from downstairs and went back to my room. Carlisle was sitting gracefully in the rocking chair, casually looking out the window. For just a moment, I could see him in his own time, sitting on a similar rocking chair. My heart rate picked up at the thought, and he turned to me with a smile. "Are you alright?" He asked quietly.

I nodded and pulled the sheets back before settling in for the night. He stood gracefully and slid in next to me. "Will you be here when I wake up?" I asked while wrapping my arms around him tightly.

He kissed my temple and my cheek gently. "Yes, I will. Will you be cold with me under the blankets?" He asked with mild concern in his voice.

I chuckled and shook my head. "If you rub against me, then no." I tried for sultry, but my sleepy voice sounded muffled.

He pulled me tighter against him. "Well, I'll have to try it then." He concluded while rubbing his hands briskly over my arms and back.

I inhaled deeply and calmed myself with his scent. "Do you think… if I wait till I'm 25 that I'll look much differently?" I asked slowly.

He hesitated. "I suppose you will, a bit. You'll mature a little, but you're quite grown up right now, I must say. Why do you ask?"

This time, I hesitated. "I don't know, really. I guess I really want to look like I belong with you. I want to look mature like you. I could dent quarters off your chest, I guess I'd like to be able to do the same off mine." I blushed and hid my face in his shoulder. "Lord, that didn't come out right at all."

He laughed heartily and pressed a kiss to my hair. "Oh, Bella. If you're turned tomorrow, you'll be glorious. The same goes for if you'd be turned in twenty years. You worry for nothing." He promised sincerely.

I smiled. "I hope so." I thought for a moment. "What if I was turned in 30 years? Would I be glorious then, as well?"

He grunted. "There comes a time when the virus will not spread any more. The virus itself regenerates cells and makes them stronger than ever. I believe at 48 you'd be fine, but any older than that it could possibly just kill you." He whispered.

My heart sputtered. "Is that why there are no old vampires?" I asked.

He chuckled. "Well, technically we're all old. That's why none of us look old though. If I were to try to turn someone in their 60's or 70's, the odds are quite good that I would kill them. When I stayed with the Volturi for some time, they… tried it out. They are very interested in the science of our kind as well as humans alike. However, they worry not about killing humans for their cause." He explained quietly. "I didn't stay much longer with them, after that."

I shook my head. "No, I wouldn't think you did."

He sighed. "This isn't good to talk about before you sleep…" He reasoned.

I laughed. "Carlisle I'm old enough now that it doesn't matter. I won't have nightmares about the last thing we talked about." He said nothing and I sat up enough to study him. He was blushing, so obviously I had no idea what I was talking about. "I've done it, haven't I?" I asked.

He smiled. "A few times, yes."

I huffed. "That's great. I'm 18 and I still have nightmares. Cute."

He chuckled and held me tighter. "It isn't cute at all, it's beautiful. I get to dream vicariously through you. There's only a few things better than that. One of them being when you're awake."

I rolled my eyes and yawned. "You're biased. You think I crap daises, so it doesn't count."

He let out a short huff of a laugh before containing himself. "I'm a medical doctor. I happen to know that aside from creatures that eat daisies, no one craps them, Ms. Swan." He said seriously.

I giggled and pressed a kiss over his heart. "Fair enough." I conceded. "Hey, I love you." I said half asleep.

I felt his chuckle through his chest before sleep claimed me.

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**Thank you to everyone that leaves such amazing reviews and kind words. You're all amazing. Also, if you're in love with B/C there are heaps of amazing stories out there. The slew of amazingness that has happened recently is part of the reason I haven't been updating as much. LMAO I read too much. Oh well. Like it, Love it, Gotta Have It, LET ME KNOW!**

**Thank youuu**


	32. Chapter 32

**Hello, my lovies! Thank you for all of your continued reviews for each chapter as well as the out take. It means a lot to me! When you're done reading this chapter, take a swing to Brits23's story "There Once Was a King". Her human Carlisle is the sexiest thing, EVER. Oh, and you could cut the tension between Bella and Carlisle with a knife, it's that thick.**

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I awoke the next morning to Carlisle pressing gentle kisses to my hair and temple. It was possibly the best way to wake up, ever.

I smiled sleepily and he squeezed me gently. "Mm, Carlisle." I greeted.

He chuckled, the rich sound almost lulling me back to sleep. "My love. Did you sleep well?" He asked, though I was sure he already knew.

I grunted. "I had some weird dreams, if you didn't know." I accused.

He shifted in the bed so I could get up for my human moment. The amused look on his face stopped me dead in my tracks. "What?" I demanded.

A smirk lit his smooth face, and I cringed with the possibilities. "It's nothing. You said mostly random things that didn't really pertain to anything." He paused, and his face grew a bit serious. "Mostly."

I shifted from one tired foot to another, before I held my finger to him. "One second." I pleaded before running to the bathroom. After brushing my teeth and washing my face, among other necessities I went back to my room and sat in the rocking chair. "Tell me what I said." I prodded.

He watched me for a moment with his clear, golden eyes. My seating arrangement made him look skeptical. "Why did you sit over there?" He asked.

I shrugged. "If I sit on you, or on the bed, I'll maul you and you'll never tell me what happened." I laughed and his eyes shifted to the window.

It was then that the pieces started to fall for me, and I knew immediately what I had dreamt about. "I said something about Edward, didn't I?" I asked quietly.

His eyes snapped to mine, and he nodded. "It's hardly a big deal. I'm not upset. I was just curious if you maybe knew he was here." He wondered and I flinched.

"Edward came again?" I asked, disbelieving. "Why would he do that to himself? I mean, my scent makes him miserable. You were here with me, and that must have been hard on him in a completely different way." I rambled. "I swear I'm going to bolt my window shut." Carlisle quirked an eyebrow at me and I sighed. "With you on this side of the window, obviously."

His mouth quirked in a half-smile before he shrugged. "It was why Alice asked that we weren't… intimate. The scent for him was… infuriating." He explained, and a small flare of anger worked it's way out of me.

"If that's the case, he doesn't have to come by. I can't be with you in your house. Now you're telling me that I can't have you in my own, either? Sorry, you're mine and we can do what we want in my damn room."

His eyes widened and he sputtered. "I thought you'd be exceptionally forgiving of Edward."

I nodded. "I'm forgiving of him, and I love him. I want us to be close again, but he's pushing it. This room is our safe house, Carlisle. You and I can't be together in public, because people are horrible about it. We can't be together in your house, because it's not fair to Edward. Now you're telling me that because Edward still likes to watch me sleep, I can't have you here either?" I huffed out a sarcastic laugh. "That's not happening, sorry."

His jaw worked to keep his face smooth, but I knew he liked my display of possession. His eyes glittered. "We'll have to talk out some rules, I suppose. I agree with you, whole-heartedly." He promised.

I stood slowly and straddled his thighs. "Okay. So, tell me what happened then." I said gently.

He pulled his fingertips through my hair and kissed me soundly. "Where was my kiss this morning?" He wondered.

I blushed. "Yeah, I got a little worked up, didn't I?" I giggled.

He nodded, before kissing me again. "It's alright." He pulled my hips tighter to his own, and I wasn't so sure we were going to get through this conversation at all. "Edward came by last night with the sole purpose of relearning your scent. He and I spoke briefly, and I believe that we'll be okay. He's hurting, but I think we all are."

I ran my bottom lip over the broad expanse of his neck and he shivered. "What did you talk about, exactly?" I wondered.

He sighed, and smoothed his palm under the back of my tank top. This time I shivered. "He mentioned that the hole that I had in my mind, my heart… is missing. He acknowledged that you're my beloved. We spoke about if he'd ever find his own mate."

I pulled away from him and stared. "You told him he would, of course."

He nodded. "There has to be someone for my Edward."

I swallowed tightly and nodded. "One of the first things he told me when we actually started speaking to one another was how long he'd waited for me. I feel awful that he has to wait again." My throat filled with tears and I sounded like a frog because of it.

His eyes darkened and he pulled me tighter. "It will work out. It has to."

I pulled a deep breath into my lungs in an effort to calm myself. "It has to." I repeated.

Shortly afterwards, Carlisle made me breakfast. I had forgotten completely that I had school this morning, and because of that I was seriously behind.

It seemed so trivial to me now, but it was necessary none-the-less.

I kissed him at the door, and promised him that I'd come by the house afterwards.

"I'll be working tonight." He reminded me gently. "You can go by the house to see Alice, though. She'd love it, I'm sure."

I smiled and kissed him again. "I work tomorrow night. Janice called me to ask if I could do it. Will you be there tomorrow?"

He chuckled. "Of course I will be. I'll be here tonight after midnight as well. Don't wait up for me, though. Okay?"

I nodded and held him tightly. My stomach twisted with the knowledge that I wouldn't be spending time with him for the next few days.

I was going to be exceptionally late, so I kissed him again and rushed to my monster truck before heading to school.

It was mundane, to say the very least. Apparently I was the center of attention again, though I couldn't place why. Curious glances and whispered words piqued my interest, but I never caught what the big deal actually was.

When I walked into my last period English class, I immediately understood.

Edward was here, and we were sharing a table.

Again.

The rest of the class watched me carefully for any sign of surprise, and I refused to give it to them. I strode to the desk swiftly and slid into my seat. "Hey." I greeted informally while my heart raced. There was a steady hum of murmuring from everyone else around us, but I could not make out anything specific.

He cracked a smile and nudged me with his shoulder. "Bella." He greeted with his warm, musical voice.

The lecture began shortly afterwards, and thankfully everyone's scrutinous gaze was focused on the class. "What are you doing here?" I whispered as quietly as I could, knowing he could hear me.

His topaz eyes flicked to mine. "I won't just sit at home all day, Bella. This is the only advanced English 12 class. I'm sorry you have to see me." He whispered bitterly.

I flinched. "Edward that's not what I meant and you know it." I tapped my pencil on my notebook irritably and sighed. "I don't want this to be hard for you, but you know I want to see you." I reminded.

His sharp jaw set tightly. "I know that. I guess you're right, too. One thing I didn't think much about was what other's would be thinking. They imagine you and Carlisle quite vividly, I must say."

I blushed hotly and his eyes darkened. "Sorry." I whispered.

He chuckled. "Don't apologize for blushing, Bella."

I shook my head. "I wasn't."

We sat silently for a few moments before I noticed his rigid posture relax. My heartbeat slowed in response.

The rest of the class passed in relative quiet, and I was thankful for it. When the bell rang, I stood slowly and turned to him.

He looked reluctant. It was a face I rarely saw him wear, and his usual graceful stance was restless as he shifted from foot to foot. "Bella, I know I've been terrible to deal with. I know I've given you no reason to trust me, but if you don't have anything to do this afternoon I'd like to spend some time with you." He gushed.

I blushed and looked away. "Edward, I trust you. What did you have in mind?"

He smiled radiantly and took my books from me. "I haven't been to the meadow since I've been back."

My initial reaction was uncertainty but I knew, ultimately, that Edward was being genuine. I bit my lip and watched him carefully while he shifted restlessly. "I haven't been there since you took me. So, yeah. That sounds great."

He inhaled deeply and guided me out of the classroom with his hand on the small of my back.

We walked quietly to my truck and he chuckled at it. "Wow, Bella. This is yours?" He wondered.

I nodded. "It was a Christmas gift from your family. Rosalie built it for me."

His eyes widened and I passed him the keys. "You must truly trust me." He laughed.

The drive up the highway was quiet, aside from the roar of my tires on the pavement. When we pulled off into the trees, my heart fluttered with nerves.

He chuckled as we got out of the truck. I walked around to meet him on his side and took a deep breath. "Let's get this over with."

He cracked a smile and thrust me onto his back, and we rushed through the trees towards the meadow. It wasn't exceptionally cold today, though at the speed we were going my eyes still watered.

After a few cold moments, he set me down. I looked around the perfect circle-shaped clearing and sighed. "Everything is withered." I remarked sadly.

The usual emerald green grass was now yellowish brown, and there were no wild flowers to be seen, anywhere. He took in a breath. "Yes, everything is." He agreed.

I swallowed my disappointment and turned back to him. "The sun is out, though. Let's take advantage of it, shall we?" I gestured with a wave of my hand.

He smiled and nodded. We walked slowly to the center of the meadow before plopping down in the dry, dead grass. I grinned at the prisms Edward's skin cast around the meadow.

"Well, this is surreal." I remarked.

He relaxed further into the grass. "I'd say."

I pulled a few strands of grass out and knotted them. "I'd like to talk with you, if that's alright." He nodded, but said nothing. "I'd prefer if you didn't come watch me sleep at night. I know you like to, but I think it's best for both of us if we let that habit go." I blurted.

His eyes widened and he nodded. "I actually came to that conclusion on my own, last night." He admitted. "I'm sorry if it made you uncomfortable."

I shook my head. "It's not that at all. Things will be hard enough for a while. Why make it worse by sitting with Carlisle and I? You and I will have our time too. There's no need to be miserable." I assured him.

He grimaced and looked away. "You've always been so grown up for your age."

I smiled. "Middle aged at 18. It's not as easy as I make it look."

He closed his eyes and sighed. "I forgot how pleasant this was. Out here the perfume of your skin is lessened. I have company but I don't have to hear the incessant ramblings of anyone's mind. Although, I'd love to be able to hear you. Can't have everything, I suppose."

I shrugged. "Ask me anything and I promise to tell you exactly what comes to my mind."

His eyes narrowed. "You always hold back. It's very frustrating."

I shook my head. "Well, this time I'll be honest. Go ahead." I pressed.

He thought for a moment, the skeptical set of his jaw still in place. "For the nature of this game, I'll keep the questions light." He conceded. "If I could read your mind, what thoughts would be foremost suppressed while you're around me?" He wondered.

I immediately thought of Carlisle, and sighed. "I guess the first thoughts would be of Carlisle. I tend to think of him frequently." I answered honestly. "Sometimes I think of random things regarding your family's nature. How you hunt, to random things like what it must be like to crush a rock with your bare hand." I blushed. "Embarrassing things sometimes come up, too." I mumbled.

His eyes glittered. "You promised you'd be honest. You're thinking of something in particular, and you're not sharing with me."

"Okay, this game is stupid. Game over." I flailed in an attempt to stand up.

He shook his head and pulled me back down. "Tell me." He pressed. He was enforcing his full dazzle on me.

I sighed and flushed hotter than ever. "Sometimes, I wonder…." I stammered and he looked at me significantly. "Is it… hard for you guys to be around me when…" I grunted and my eyes watered. "My monthly visitor?" I blurted.

His eyes widened and his jaw gaped. "Oh." He said slowly. "That." He thought for a moment and I blushed from head to toe. "Not really." He finally conceded. "The blood isn't the same. It's not pulsing through your veins, nor does it contain the vital nutrients that we need to sustain ourselves."

I blushed purple. "But you do know when I have it?" I prodded.

He nodded and I groaned. "That's so embarrassing." I moaned while I covered my face with my hands.

He chuckled heartily. "Why on Earth would you worry about such things?" He wondered.

I shrugged. "I worry, you know? I don't want it to be hard on Jazz… or you." I trailed off.

He laughed louder, holding his hands across his abdomen. "Oh, for goodness sake." He choked. "I thank God for you, Bella. Really."

I rolled my eyes and sighed. "Now we end the game."

After he finally stopped laughing, his face still looked amused. "Carlisle thought of you seeing the Northern Lights. I didn't ask him about it, but I'd like to know about your trip." He prodded.

The memory of it made me smile. "Carlisle took me there so I could see them. He told me that it's absolutely beautiful to see as a vampire, but he always wished he could have seen them as a human. So, he took me. They are stunning, I dreamt of them for weeks afterwards." I sighed.

A sincere smile adorned his face. "He's been good to you, then." He stated.

I nodded and smoothed my fingers over his palm. "Very good to me, yes. Don't ever worry that I'm being neglected."

He shook his head, his eyes watching my fingertips. "I don't have to worry when it comes to Carlisle."

The adoration was plain in his voice. My heart could hardly contain the joy I felt when I realized that things were going to work out between Edward and Carlisle.

We sat quietly for a few more moments before I noticed Edward's body go rigid. He sat up slowly and his eyes danced along the rim of the meadow. "What is it?" I asked quietly while my heart took off.

He held a finger to me and jumped to his feet. "Get on my back, please." He said quickly.

I stood numbly and my fingers twitched. He pulled me onto his back quickly, and we took off through the woods. The air whipped around my face and my eyes watered immediately.

We ran for a moment, when something brought Edward to an abrupt stop. There was a loud crunch and I flew from Edward's back at a speed that I could not fathom.

I screamed, before my body slammed against something solid. I heard bones shatter and crunch inside me, before a dreadful sense of numbness took over my limbs. I tried to move anything, but found that I could not. I opened my eyes and pain rocked through me. "Edward!" I screamed.

What had happened? I tried my best to sit up, but could not move at all. My face was pressed into the leaves and from the corner of my eye I could see fiery red.

Victoria.

How was this possible? Jacob said they had killed her.

My mind flickered with pain, and my vision ebbed towards blackness. Edward was on the ground in front of her, and one of his arms was in her hands. It looked as though Edward had done a job on her as well, because a huge piece of her shoulder was missing.

"You knew I would come for her!" She screamed.

His eyes flickered to mine pitifully. "She's not my mate. You're not hurting me by doing this." He said reasonably.

My heart shattered with his words. Perhaps he was going to let her kill me.

Perhaps it wouldn't be so bad.

She looked doubtful for a moment. "Laurent told me that, though I hardly believed him."

Edward took her moment of thought to throw himself at her. She stumbled back and he sat on her shoulders as she fell to the ground. With his good arm, he tore at her aggressively.

She screamed and flailed pointlessly while Edward shredded her face and head from her shoulders.

Blackness consumed me, and after a few moments the sickly sweet smell of licorice filled my nostrils. "Bella, oh for the love of God, please Bella wake up." Edward pleaded.

I cracked my eyes and looked at him. He was covered in blood and that confused me. Vampires bled?

My heart beat dulled inside me, and everything slowed down. "Edward, you're bleeding." I whispered.

His frantic black eyes turned sorrowful. "No, my beautiful Bella. I'm not." He said brokenly.

The pieces fell slowly for me and I sighed. "I'm bleeding." I said. "I'm dying."

He nodded and his bloodied hands sagged by his sides. "I'm not going to let you, Bella. You mean everything to me. To Carlisle." He whispered.

I tried to stay with him, but it was getting increasingly difficult. "Mm." I moaned.

He sobbed tearlessly over me. "I'll fix you, Bella. I can do this. I can." He turned me gently onto my back, and the pain made me scream out.

He flinched at the noise and kissed my cheek gently before tipping my head so he had better access. I felt a pinch, then nothing. He lifted each of my wrists to his bloodied lips and gently bit down, before he moved out of my vision.

In unison, an incredible fire started throughout my limbs. The pain of it should have knocked me out, but it did not.

I screamed in agony, hoping to God that my nerve endings would eventually shut down.

It never happened. The pain continued to course through me, everything burned and raged inside of me until I was certain that something was wrong.

There was no way it was supposed to feel like this.

I could hear the melodic tones of Edward's voice speaking to me, but I could not focus on the words. I was lifted, and the cool air against my burning limbs felt minutely better.

Time lost it's place in my mind. The only thing I could think of was ending this torment.

Finally, I heard the soothing cadence of Carlisle's voice murmuring to me. I had to hear him, so I shifted my pain to another part of me. His words could not go unheard.

"…be alright." He whispered. "When you awake, I'll be here and we will all help you. I should have been there for you. I should not have believed Jacob when he gloated to us. My Bella, my Beloved."

He soothed me and spoke to me constantly. He spoke of things that we had done together, as well as things we would do. His encouragement and kind words numbed some of the pain in my body, and as the fire reached my heart I could not hear him anymore.

My heart beat like a drum on my veins. My pulse quickened and raced to fight off the fire threatening to consume it. The pain was at it's highest peak, there was no way my heart would survive this.

With one last, wet beat, my steady heart went silent.

Then I woke up.

* * *

**Haha! You were all worried about her being human till she was in her late 20's for no reason. I'm evilll. Please review! This chapter was a difficult one!**

**Thank youu.**


	33. Chapter 33

**Hello my dearest readers! I'm sorry about the delay. Writing from a newborn's perspective is incredibly difficult. I wanted to show how much she sees differently, without getting into TOO much detail. It's hard, and I've rewritten this chapter three times. THREE! Thank you all for your continued reviews and favorite adds. I appreciate it more than you know. **

Before I opened my eyes, I pulled a huge breath into my lungs.

The scent and taste was overwhelming.

I could smell the particular dust particles, as well as the cotton fibers of the bed I was laying on. More distinctly, my senses knew there were others present by the unique smells of each individual; especially wet dog.

Further away from that, I could smell pine, car exhaust, exotic clean smells that I would never have imagined could exist.

I cracked my eyes open, and the absolute clarity took my breath away.

I sat up rigidly, and moved to get off the bed. My body flew from it, and I crouched on the floor to assess the other threats in the room.

"Carlisle, you should do something. She's very nervous." I heard someone with a southern drawl say from behind me.

I leapt around quickly, my eyes darted over every single particle in the air before they finally rested upon faintly familiar faces.

A growl ripped from me and the sound of my own voice startled me. Before this, it was not in my capacity to make noises like that.

After calming enough to realize that he wouldn't hurt me, I flicked my eyes over the remaining people in the room.

Alice, Emmett, Rosalie… Edward.

_Edward_.

I stepped forward and instantly was in front of him. He flinched away from my abrupt invasion of his space, and I watched him closely.

He truly was beautiful, but I could admit that my human eyes had done him no justice. His copper hair had strands of red, crimson, gold and browns in it. The flawlessness of his face was appalling and I sighed at the sight of him. He looked torn, as though he had done something distasteful.

I reached out slowly, slowly, and held his face gently. He smiled at the gesture and I pulled him to myself. "Thank you, Edward. Thank you." My voice was clear and dark; I almost sounded sultry.

He squeaked within my grasp. "Uh, Bella?" He groaned. "Ow?"

I let him go abruptly, my smile as wide as I could manage. "Where is…" I flicked my eyes around the room quickly when I noticed him.

If my eyes had not done Edward justice, I may as well have been blind when it came to him.

Had he been sitting on the bed the whole time?

I walked to him slowly and stood in front of him. His hair was absolutely stunning. The facets of each strand caught the light in such a way that it looked as though they were glowing.

His eyes were crystal clear and the most stunning shade of gold I had ever seen. I gently held his face and marveled at the smooth texture of his skin. "Carlisle." I breathed.

He gave a gentle smile and placed his hand over my own. "Bella, my love." He whispered. His voice was pure honey over velvet, and my body suddenly craved him.

I marveled at my hand against his own. I was just as pale as he was, now. Our skin was the same temperature, so he felt warm to me.

And _soft_.

I pressed my fingers gently against his face before I leaned forward and captured his lips with my own. He groaned, before allowing me to kiss him with the ferocity I craved.

His lips were soft and supple; the flavor of them more enticing than I could imagine. I weaved my fingers through his silky strands and kissed him deeper, allowing my tongue to lap at his own.

Any hesitation he may have felt was out the window now, and he growled while palming my ass and pulling me flush against him. I moaned, before someone cleared their throat behind me.

I jumped away from Carlisle and giggled. "You were right, we may have to live in the woods." I reminded him, my laugh sounded like bells.

His smile was radiant, even though he looked mussed from my thorough groping.

I turned and grimaced at the expression Edward was wearing. "I'm sorry, I'm just so…" I waved my hands in the air and flitted to the window. "Wait! How did…" My mind raced with thought and I struggled to keep myself organized.

I was no longer thinking of one thing at a time, but many things. Victoria, Carlisle, the wolves, Edward, my Dad, the horrid itch in the back of my throat, how long I was out, as well as a few trivial things like what I looked like were all thoughts that burdened me simultaneously.

I squeezed me eyes shut and focused. "Victoria?" I asked slowly.

Carlisle got up off the bed and exchanged a look with Edward. "It seems, my love, that Jacob wasn't as thorough as we'd have hoped. He's downstairs, if you think you're up to it." He said slowly.

I swallowed tightly and stroked my aching throat absently. Carlisle's eyes widened. "Oh, no. We should hunt first, perhaps. Would you like that?"

I nodded aggressively and smiled. I opened the terrace door and jumped from the window. It was incredibly easy to land on my feet, as the landing was in perfect slow motion for me.

I straightened and turned to Carlisle who had dropped down with me. "Race me?" He taunted.

I shrugged rigidly, before taking off. Initially, I wasn't sure I would be able to figure it out as quickly as I did, but my worries were for nothing.

When Edward used to tell me that he was not human, he was not joking. My limbs moved fluidly, my pace was fast and quiet as I weaved through the trees. My muscles were not burning, my breath was not coming in gasps; I was doing exactly what I was intended to do.

I laughed freely, while turning to find Carlisle keeping up with me. I decided it was time to test him. With close to no effort, I picked up my pace. At the speed I was moving, I was certain no one would even notice me with human eyes. I darted gracefully around trees, jumping over obstacles that got in my way with the barest hint of effort.

When I could no longer smell Carlisle around me, I came to a stop and waited for him.

A few moments later, he caught up. "My, my you're fast." He marveled, before pointing to the left. "Do you hear that?"

My hearing was overwhelmed with the sounds of the highway off in the distance, and the birds in the trees, the sway of the leaves from the wind. I struggled to focus and then I heard it.

A heartbeat.

I gasped as fluid filled my mouth, and I swallowed quickly. I honed in on the steady thumping, and I could detect the scent. It was a little dirty; like wet dog but less disgusting. Beneath that smell, there was an earthy, sweet aroma. Without thinking, I took off towards it.

The poor deer had no clue as I lunged at it. I drank from it deeply and the dull ache in my throat felt sated as the hot nectar slid down my throat.

I sighed with contentment, as I realized I had drained the thing. I let the animal go, and stood slowly. A moment of guilt washed over me as I looked at the creature, before I reasoned out that it was more or less the same as when I would eat a hamburger.

I turned my attention to Carlisle and smiled. "That was amazing."

He quirked an eyebrow at me. "You're not… still thirsty?" He asked slowly.

I put some genuine thought into it, and shrugged. "Not really."

He looked doubtful, before walking to me as slowly as he could manage. "I know it's overwhelming, it will only be that way for a little while…" He said soothingly.

I frowned at him. "What are you talking about? I'm alright, Carlisle. My mind is moving faster than I could have ever imagined, but I'm still me. I guess I didn't expect that. I still felt badly for killing her." I gestured to the doe lying next to me. "I guess remorse was not something I thought I would have, initially."

He still looked doubtful. "You're not burning right now?" He asked again.

I watched him carefully. The way his slacks hung on his narrow hips, to the way his crisp, blue shirt hugged his broad torso. "Yes, I'm burning Carlisle." I whispered.

He swallowed before turning toward a faint heartbeat east of us. "There are more. Shall we?"

Apparently my lust was lost on him, so I pounced. I landed on his shoulders, my weight shifting him as he fell. I twisted his body, so when we landed I was directly over his lap. "No, my love. I burn for you." I explained.

His eyes darkened and he shook his head. "How can you be like this? I don't understand."

I shrank back from him. "Do you not want me, anymore?"

He flinched at my words, before he sat up and kissed me gently. "How can you ask me that? You're everything to me, Bella. I just… It's unheard of for a newborn to be like this only an hour after waking. You should be a savage right now. I was prepared to have to hold you down to keep you from hurting someone. I'm just waiting for it to happen."

I mulled that over for a moment, a flicker of nervousness at his words settled upon me. "I genuinely am fine. My throat feels like I need to cough, but other than that I'm perfect." I ground down on his lap and shuddered. "If you'd like me to be a savage, I'd really like to give it a try." I said silkily.

He moaned, and I literally clawed the clothing from his body. "Bella!" He exclaimed.

I giggled, before yanking the stupid, blue chemise Alice had dressed me in off my body.

His face looked absolutely stunned, and I glanced down at myself. To say that I had the body of a teenager would be completely false. I had grown while I was burning. The baby fat of my stomach had burned away, while my hips had broadened into that of a woman. I couldn't wait to see what I looked like.

"Bella." He whispered. "I can't believe you're meant for me."

I leaned forward and kissed him, hard. My tongue lapped at his, and I moaned at the feel of his length pressed against my abdomen. I let his mouth go, before I slid down his body and sucked on his perfect neck.

He jumped at the sensation of me pulling his skin between my lips. I worked my way down his perfect torso and pulled each of his nipples between my teeth.

I was too worked up. There was no way I could stay at this pace.

My hands shook as I sat up and growled at him. His eyes were alight with desire, and I impaled myself on him.

The feel of him inside me was indescribable. His hands flew to my breasts while he sat up to take a nipple into his perfect mouth. He pinched it with his teeth, and I bounced over him more aggressively. My orgasm tumbled over me, and I pulled him with me as well.

I screamed into the empty forest as he filled me, my desire for him mounting and coming around again.

In an instant, he was hard again. He tossed me from him, and I fell back against a tree. He growled and was in front of me immediately. "Bella." He sighed as he slid inside me again.

I moaned and clawed at his back as he pounded into me roughly. I arched against the tree in an attempt to encourage him further, but there was a loud snap and the tree fell.

I tumbled backwards while instinct kicked in and I turned around to brace my fall. I rested on my knees, with my hands braced against the fallen tree while Carlisle pressed himself against me while he was standing between my thighs.

I moaned and he slammed into me from behind. I dug my fingers into the soft wood of the tree, while Carlisle growled ferociously. My body quivered under him, and I bucked back against his body as hard as I could.

I wanted his mouth on mine, I wanted to see his face. I bucked against him hard, and he stepped back from me as I turned and wrapped my legs around his waist.

I pulled him back inside my body, and he resumed marking me as his own. His eyes were as dark as I'd ever seen them. The ocher color was still present, but the blackness of desire glittered in their depths.

I pulled him tighter with my thighs, and he palmed my hips roughly, squeezing in a way that he had never attempted before.

With a few more aggressive thrusts, I came again. In the heat of the moment, I clamped my thighs around him tightly and as he came a whimper broke out of his throat.

My eyes snapped open and I released him from my grip. His face was pinched in pain and I grimaced. "Oh, no. I'm sorry Carlisle."

He tried for a smile and managed it. "No, Bella. It's fine. We'll work on that." He reasoned.

He rubbed his hip bones gently and sighed. "Will you be alright?" I asked stupidly.

He chuckled and nodded. "Of course I will. Have I hurt you?" He asked slowly.

I was sore in every single way I had always ached to be. "Nope." I said honestly.

He smiled in relief. "Thank God for that, at least." He pulled me against him and kissed me deeply. "I've never understood that it could be like that. To want you the way I do, it's almost dangerous."

I laughed a good, belly laugh. "Oh, Carlisle. Between the two of us, we'll never be able to live in a house again."

He chuckled and turned to his ruined clothes. "What will we wear back to the house?" He wondered.

I hummed and sat on him again. "I don't want to go back to the house." I replied.

I smelled Alice without even trying to find her scent. "I'm leaving you both clothes, right here." She said from perhaps a mile away. I knew exactly where she was talking to us from. "Please come back to the house. The wolves are getting restless."

I flinched at her words and got off of Carlisle's lap. "We have forever. We have to take care of this, now." I whispered.

He nodded and the expression on his face concerned me. We made our way back to where Alice dropped our clothes. I pulled the bra on, and the panties so slowly that Carlisle laughed. "You alright?" He teased.

I glared at him. "I'm fine! I don't want to rip it while I'm putting it on. You know?"

He nodded again, and buckled his khaki pants. I pulled the delicate, green sweater over my head as though it were made of blown glass. There was a small tear, but otherwise I did alright.

We ran back to the house, this time I let Carlisle beat me there. We stood outside for a moment before Carlisle spoke. "The wolves do not smell good to us. However, your newborn blood lust might forgive them their scent. Do not breathe, if you do not have to. If it becomes too much I will take you outside. We'll be able to have a conversation with them from the porch." He said quietly.

I nodded, before lacing his fingers with mine as we walked inside.

They were all sitting at the kitchen table, Jacobs face was morose. "Why am I dead right now, Jake?" I asked harshly.

He flinched like I slapped him, before Sam spoke up. "Because that mind-reading bloodsucker broke the rules!"

Carlisle growled. "If Jacob Black would have actually taken care of Victoria correctly, this would not have happened to my Beloved."

Sam shook his head. "Jacob showed us what he did to Victoria. When we phase we see everything the other pack members are thinking. He thinks of tearing her up, all the time." He argued.

Carlisle sighed, as Alice huffed. "He had to burn her. What don't you understand about that?"

Jacob shook in his chair. "She was practically a puddle after I got done shredding her! There was no way. No way she came back after that. When I'm phased I don't carry fucking matches around." He said defensively.

Sam looked stunned for a moment. "Did you ever go back to burn her?" He asked slowly.

Jacob squeezed his hands into fists. "No. She was a puddle of rancid licorice. There was no need."

Everyone stopped speaking after that. Jake's heart hammered loudly in his chest, and I was aware that Sam was watching me. "Victoria crossed our territory a few months back. Jake had only learned of his true nature a week before he crossed her path. He was alone, testing out his new abilities in the woods. No one else was phased, so when he came back to Emily's smelling of death, we believed his story. He showed us what he did to kill her, but never showed us anything after that. It seems she could return from a decimated state, Jacob. As she killed Ms. Swan."

Jake sighed. "I'm so sorry, Bella. I don't understand how she could have returned after that. I don't get it." He cried.

Anger burned inside me. He didn't do it right, and now I was to be a teenager, forever. I wanted to be equal to Carlisle. I wanted the opportunities being turned when I got older brought to me. Now I had no chance. I growled and crouched, before Carlisle grasped me to himself. "No, Bella. Please." He pleaded.

I shook with anger, but contained it because I did not want to hurt Carlisle. "This should change things, then." Jasper piped up. "We upheld our part, but you didn't uphold ours. Had we known Victoria was still alive, we'd have taken better precautions. However, she attacked Bella and we couldn't well let her die. I'd say we're even. The Chief has called everyday to speak to her, and we have nothing to give him. He's bout' damn close to bringin' the whole damned department on our family for kidnapping!"

I snuggled deeper into Carlisle's embrace. "He has to see me." I reasoned.

Everyone's faces lit with disbelief. "Bella, you'd kill him. Imagine what you would feel like after that. That's not an option." Edward argued.

I narrowed my eyes at him. "Why do you always tell me what to do? I'm going to see him. And I'm not going to kill him."

Jasper looked at me meaningfully. "You can do it. I feel it, she could manage."

Carlisle kissed the back of my neck gently. "We're going to have to believe in her. He won't stop until he finds her. Everyone at school saw her leave with Edward, and now we're always telling him that she's busy and she can't come to the phone. She stays here a lot, which is why Charlie had no reason to suspect anything the first few days. However, his suspicions are mounting."

Alice breathed. "He's coming right now. He'll be here in possibly fifteen minutes."

My eyes widened and I shook my head. "It's too soon! I just woke up!"

Alice searched through possible futures, and she looked incredibly grim. "Outside would be the best. The fresh air and distance between the two of you would be the best thing." She said quickly.

Carlisle held me tightly while the wolves busied themselves for the event. I knew they would protect my Dad from me. Sam turned to us and sighed. "I truly am sorry, Bella. We will allow the Cullen's this one time. However, should you kill anyone the treaty still applies." He reminded meaningfully.

I nodded. "Of course. Thank you, Sam."

He shook his head. "Don't thank us. We didn't do anything right this time." He said harshly while glaring at Jacob. "We'll help you this last time as well. We don't want the Chief getting hurt over this too." We'll be outside, between the two of you in the woods. He'll never know we're there if you do nothing wrong." He promised.

I nodded again and swallowed some of the venom pooling in my mouth. When everyone was outside, I turned to Carlisle and allowed my concerns to show. "He's going to know immediately that I'm… not right." I said quickly. His face pinched and he leaned forward to brush his lips against mine.

"Perhaps that's the only way to make him understand." He explained.

I heard my father's cruiser down the street, and I held Carlisle's hand firmly in mine.

We walked outside together, as my Dad pulled into the driveway.

* * *

I was originally going to post more than this, but there's a lot coming. Let me know how I did in a review. BTW, I got a few PM's about how Victoria coming back was random, as well as Edward changing her. I had that part written out before I even had a first chapter. I always wanted Edward to do it. It shows that he does love her enough to stop, despite her blood's call to him. I also made it a point that he tells her that she means too much to Carlisle to let it happen. It was not random, believe me!

Reviews are love love love!


	34. Chapter 34

**Hello lovely readers! I'm sorry for the delay in this chapter. There were a lot of loose ends I was trying to tie. Then Thanksgiving happened, and I had a dinner party, and I work retail so I could move in to my work and they'd like that. This Chapter isn't quite long, but we're reaching the end, my friends. Thank you all for your kind words. They mean so so much.**

Before Charlie exited the car, I was hyper aware of his thumping heart. My muscles contracted and it took everything in me to not spring at him. Carlisle felt my tension, and he squeezed my fingers tighter. We walked out across the driveway towards the wooded area on the side of my house. This way, Charlie would always be downwind of me.

I heard the wolves behind me in the brush, and I focused on their repulsive scent as best as I could. Edward sat on the porch stairs ten feet away. His posture was rigid.

He was waiting for me to attack.

My Father whipped his car door open and stormed out, walking towards me. I barely recognized him, he looked so much older. His features were absolutely livid.

"Bella! You'd better be God damned kidding me!" He yelled. "I've been worried sick about you! And you're over here, gallivanting and ignoring my calls? You're grounded! I don't care if you're 18, I've had…." His red face grew purple as he stared at me. "You're… there's something wrong." He managed.

Carlisle stepped away from me, blocking Charlie from my view. "Chief Swan…" He said in his silky voice. "I'd like to come clean with you, if you'd permit me."

The wolves huffed in the bushes beside me, but I doubted my father would have heard it. "Dr. Cullen, what happened to her?" He whispered.

Edward grimaced and looked away from me. Did I really look so bad?

"We aren't… human, Charlie." He said, his voice faltered a bit as though he was having physical difficulty saying the words.

My Dad huffed. "Damn it, don't try to distract me from Bella. We're talking about Bella right now. Making up stories won't deter me from taking my daughter home." He said seriously.

I stepped aside and shook my head. "He's telling you the truth, Dad." I explained. My voice was as perfect as a bell, and my Dad noticed.

He flinched from the sound and his jaw gaped. "Bells, what happened?" He prodded.

I forced myself to take a breath so I could explain more to him. His scent scorched my throat, but it was not unbearable. "I died, Charlie."

He swallowed tightly, and I knew from the beat of his heart that he believed me. "You're standing there, talking to me." He argued back.

"Yes." I said simply. "When I first met Edward, remember he saved me from Tyler's van?" I asked slowly. He nodded, but said nothing. "I was in the direct path of the van. I should have died that day from the van crushing me. Edward stopped it, though. With his bare hands."

His glance toward Edward made me nervous for reasons I wasn't sure of. "I grew fascinated with him, with what he could be. I though he was a super hero, but it's something much darker. Much more serious." I whispered.

My Father's bottom lip quivered a bit, before he slumped against the hood of the cruiser. He waved his hand for me to continue. "I spent a lot of time with him, trying to figure him out. One day, I went to the reservation and Jake told me a story…"

"About Vampires." My Dad said simply.

I nodded, the movement was jerky and awkward. "How do you know?"

He sighed and rubbed his chin. "Billy was always warning me about it. I thought he was an old fool."

"It is unbelievable. Even after Jake told me, and I had seen Edward move a van off of me, I still had my doubts. I told Edward about the story, and he confirmed it with me. Dad, they are vampires."

He sat stoically for a few moments, merely absorbing. "Right. Bella, enough of this. Let's go." He said quickly while standing up and walking towards me.

My body panicked about his proximity, and I knew I had to get away. In one fluid movement I jumped. One second I was standing in front of my Dad, the next I was sitting on the roof of the porch. "What I was going to say, Dad…" I said loudly.

He had lost track of me when I jumped, his mouth agape while he searched around for me. My voice startled him and he looked towards me with absolute disbelief on his face. "What I was saying," I repeated. "is I'm like them, now."

Carlisle stepped towards my Dad and he flinched away. "My God." He breathed. "You're a doctor and you kill people?" He yelled while flipping the holster open on his gun.

Carlisle's smooth face looked regretful. "No, I've never taken a human life." He assured.

My Dad shook his head vehemently. "How? How can you be what you are and not kill people?"

Edward stood slowly and pushed his hands inside his hoodie pockets. "My family and I, we only feed off the blood of animals. It's not common for our kind, but it keeps us closer to humanity." He said gently.

Carlisle nodded. "In my 370 years, I've never killed a person. For bloodlust or otherwise." He promised.

Charlie mouthed 'three hundred and seventy' very slowly. "You're not… 38?" He asked.

Carlisle chuckled. "Much, much older than that. However, I was brought into this life when I was 23."

Charlie slumped against his car again. "How did this happen?" He wondered.

Carlisle sighed. "If you'd like to come inside, I'll be happy to explain it to you. Bella, however, is very new to this life. She could hurt you, Charlie. She has to stay outside when you are in the house. She'll be alright." He promised.

My Dad seemed to be at war with himself over whether or not to believe anything he was hearing. "He's being completely honest with you, Dad. Don't worry about being with him. You're safer with Carlisle than anyone else in this world." I assured.

He nodded mutely, before reluctantly moving inside the house. I sat on the roof and listened to their conversation as though it was happening right beside me. I smiled as he recounted the beginning of our relationship, as it truly was. He explained how I was his mate, and what that meant for me; for us.

"Tell him about our trip to the Aurora." I said happily, knowing perfectly well he would hear. He chuckled, and told my Dad of the trip.

The weight off my chest was immense. I knew that my Dad would never worry about me, or wonder if I was alive. He knew everything, and I was possibly going to be able to keep him in my life. Maybe one day I could be close to him again. I breathed in the cool, crisp air and sighed with relief.

Edward jumped up to where I was sitting and nudged my shoulder with his. "Are you alright?" He wondered.

I flicked my eyes to his. "Yes. I can't believe I'm getting everything I've wanted. It never works that way."

Edward faltered. "It never does, you're right." He said sadly.

We sat in silence for a few moments, before I smiled. "I never imagined it would be like this. It's amazing."

He gave me a significant look. "You're unlike any newborn I've ever encountered. You're more aware of yourself than I was after several years. It's remarkable. Perhaps you were right; you were meant for this world." He conceded.

I bit my lip and rubbed my aching throat. "My throat is burning, though. I'm no more special than anyone else."

He shook his head and the wind ruffled his hair. "That's exactly what I mean. If my throat ached at all, for the first three years after I was turned I had to hunt. I had to. I must have looked like a heroine addict that had gone without a fix until I hunted. You're sitting here, calm as night about your thirst. It's not natural."

I flinched, and remembered the grimace on his face when he regarded me. "Do I look terrible?" I asked seriously.

A disbelieving huff escaped his lips. "Hardly. Why?"

"You looked so disgusted when you saw me after I awoke. Do I disgust you, now?" I wondered.

He pulled his long fingers through his unruly hair. "Bella, you're more perfect than anyone has the right to be. Only now you don't smell so appealing. I looked disgusted because I was jealous that I'd never have you. Everyone's tired of hearing it, so I don't speak of it anymore."

While I was human, his confession would have provoked a gut clench, or tears. I had nothing to express myself anymore. "Edward, I'm-"

"-Sorry, I know." He said curtly. "Are you angry that I turned you?" He asked.

I laughed and the sound made Edward crack a smile. "Not at all. I can never repay you for saving me. I will try, though." I promised. "What happened that day? I distinctly remember you losing an arm… but you have one now…" I said slowly while looking at his exposed forearm.

He stared at me for a moment before pulling his sleeve up to where his shoulder met his arm. There was a faint scar there that wrapped around his shoulder blade. "I heard her, in the woods." He began. "She was very good at alluding our gifts. I had no idea she was standing there until she realized that I was not your mate. The surprise of that knowledge tipped me off. That was when I asked you to get on my back."

I nodded and watched the emotions warring on his face. "I ran as fast as I could, but it was because of my decision to run that you… died. She grabbed my arm that was holding you, and tore it from me. When I let you go, you flew off. My pain was worsened by the horrible noise your body made when it hit the tree. I could still hear your heartbeat, so I knew I had time to help you. I read in her thoughts that she believed you were still my mate. She didn't think Carlisle would let me spend time with you if that wasn't the case." He said softly while glancing away. "I told her that you weren't. I tried to make her believe that you meant nothing to me so she would leave you alone. Her moment of hesitation was all I needed. I tore her with one hand, and I used some dry leaves to build a fire."

I swallowed a mouthful of venom sat silently while he gathered himself. "After I was sure she was dead, I went back to you, and there was so much blood. I was always worried that if I ever found you like that the temptation of your blood would be too much. It wasn't. All I could think of was that you could not die because I would be devastated. Carlisle would be devastated…"

I smiled gently and his shoulders relaxed. "I bit your neck, each wrist, and each ankle. The more places the venom enters the bloodstream the less time it takes. Carlisle made it there moments after the change started."

I exhaled slowly and realized that Carlisle was getting to this very point in my story with my Dad as well. "Like I said, Edward. I'm grateful to you." I said meaningfully.

His smile widened as Emmett hopped onto the roof. "What's up? How are you doing, Bells?"

I laughed and stood up more quickly than I meant to. "I'm fine. Better than fine. Perfect."

He gave me a once-over and nodded. "Yeah you are, girl. You and Rosalie could probably share clothes, now."

I shrank back from him. "What?"

He quirked an eyebrow. "Have you even looked at yourself yet?" He asked with a chuckle.

I shook my head and hopped down from the roof. My feet made no sound when they hit the soft grass on the side of the house. I walked over to the window and looked at myself, and I barely believed what I saw. I was more womanly than teenager.

All my baby fat and scrawny limbs were transformed. I was still me, just me if I had worked out at the gym every day. I had the same strong shape as Rosalie, just with a tinier chest.

My hair wasn't limp curls anymore. They had tightened and gotten amazingly shiny. It looked like when Alice would spend hours on my hair, only it was natural now. I really was beautiful. Aside from the red eyes…

I frowned at their reflection and turned to Jasper who was watching me. "How-"

"-About a week. Don't worry about them, Darlin'. You look beautiful." He assured me.

Alice bounced next to him. "You always were, Bella. You're Dad is going to be coming out, so you may want to move over there." She said while gesturing to the side of the house again.

I nodded and ran there quickly just as the doorknob started to turn. My Dad came out slowly, his face a bit paler than I'd have liked. He searched the yard for me and grimaced when he saw me. "Bella?" He asked.

My throat scorched even though he was downwind of me. "Yeah, Dad?"

He shifted his feet and sighed. "God, I'll miss you. Why did you go get yourself all wrapped up in this?" He said miserably.

I was overwhelmed with grief, but had no way to show it. "I'll miss you too. It's only temporary. Perhaps a year. Edward says I'm extraordinary so far, so maybe less time than that. " I mulled over his last question and frowned. "I belong here, Dad. Carlisle is my life. This family is, actually. I love you so much Dad. We'll be able to spend time again. You'll see." I promised while my throat burned with such intensity that my fingers were twitching.

He nodded solemnly and shook Carlisle's hand cautiously. "Call me please. Keep me posted. I'll let everyone know that she called or something. That she ran away with you. Whatever." He sighed.

Carlisle nodded. "Thank you, Charlie. Your discretion is appreciated. I'll call you frequently, and you can stop by whenever you'd like. I only ask that you call first so we know about it. Bella will be protected. I promise you."

A stray tear slipped down my Dad's face and he gave a curt nod. "Right. Thank you, Carlisle. Bella?" He called. "I love you, kid."

I smiled sadly. "I love you too, Dad."

He got in his cruiser and pulled out of the driveway slowly. I didn't move until I could no longer hear his car at all. Carlisle was by my side in a flash. "Another hunt, Beloved?"

**I took in a shaky breath and nodded. "Yes, please."**

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**Reviews are love! Probably one more chapter and an epilogue. Don't fret, kiddies. I got another Bellisle story brewing over here. **


	35. Chapter 35

**Hello Everyone! This is the last chapter for YWMAA, aside from an epilogue. I've already started posting chapters from another story, Of Morals and Temptations. Check it out, it's a very different Bellisle than this one. Thank you for everything, you guys!**

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Carlisle and I took our time hunting. We ran past the Canadian borders into the gorgeous wilderness there, where I found mountain lion.

Edward was exactly right; they were the best.

I had yet to really say anything to Carlisle, and for that I felt badly. As I buried my carcass in the Earth, he wrapped his arms around my waist. "Bella, what's wrong?" His chest rumbled against my back.

I turned around in his arms and shook my head. "Literally, nothing." I laughed a bit and his face pinched in confusion. "I mean, I have everything I've ever wanted. You, the rest of the family, my Dad… I can keep my Mom by phone. She was never completely invested in my life, anyway. I'll miss her, but it's just… unreal to me." I whispered.

His smooth fingertips trailed over my face. "You are an extraordinary new born. I never expected to have you like this, the day you woke up." He explained. We turned and held hands while walking back towards Forks. "The day I awoke, I did nothing but writhe for hours in agony. A simple sentence would not be formed in my head because my insides were at war against my thirst."

"Maybe it has to do with your family." I reasoned. He looked at me for explanation. "I mean, maybe it's because I woke up and knew exactly what was coming for me. I expected it to be so terrible that I overstepped it?"

He chuckled and cracked my favorite smile. "Oh, Bella. You couldn't have overstepped it by a mile. Trust me on this one, you're very rare."

I nodded and mulled that over. "Thank you for talking to my Dad. You're so kind, he would never have believed it from anyone else."

He laughed a booming, belly laugh. "Bella! He unclipped his holster at me! He was willing to shoot me."

I giggled. "He'd never shoot you… I don't think."

His laughs subsided after a few moments and I squeezed his hand tighter. "Should we move, Carlisle?" I wondered.

He shook his head. "I don't think that's necessary. Unless of course, you wanted to."

"No! I don't want to at all. It's just… others may want to stop by to see me, and I had a really hard time…"

He brought my fingertips to his mouth and kissed each digit. "My Beloved, Alice will see that decision. You won't be here when anyone stops by. I assure you."

I nodded slowly again and Carlisle's cell phone rang shrilly. "Alice." He greeted warmly.

I could hear her as though she was standing next to me. "Yes! Carlisle, Guess who stopped by!" She chirped.

He looked to me and I shrugged. "I couldn't begin to guess, my Dear. Who stopped by?"

I could practically hear her bouncing over the phone. "The Denali's! Eleazar is asking about you and I told him that I would call. Come home, they are dying to meet Bella."

My nerves shot big time, and Carlisle assured her we were on our way. He snapped the phone shut and watched me carefully. "There is no need to be worried, my love. They are very kind. Eleazar is a very old friend of mine. They will love you." He promised.

"So they know Esme…"

He nodded. "Bella, she stayed with them. They know everything. Eleazar was the first person to tell me very many years ago that she was not my mate. We argued about that, of course. As it turns out though, he was right." We picked up our pace a bit, but conversation was perfectly simple.

"You owe him an apology, it seems." I said while tearing through the forest without a sound.

He laughed. "It seems you're right."

We got back to the house by way of me racing him. I let him win again, and he laughed while scooping me up and kissing me. His kisses were so much more intense now that I was like him. The feel of his tongue exploring my mouth while his lips molded against mine was something I'd never tire of.

We separated and were very ready for bed, but now was not the time. I reached for his hand and he laced his long fingers with mine as we walked inside the house. A kindly looking man greeted me. "Ms. Swan! The pleasure is mine." He extended a hand and I took it carefully. "Garrett." He said simply.

I smiled and nodded. "It's wonderful to know you."

I walked into the living room to find Rosalie talking with two absolutely gorgeous brunettes. They turned to me and smiled. "I'm Kate, and this is Carmen." I shook both of their hands before landing on Edward sitting on the couch.

With an absolutely stunning strawberry blonde sitting flush against him. She was flirting, and he was eating it up. "Bella." I said curtly while she extended a slender hand.

"I'm Tanya." She said in a perfect soprano.

I glared without meaning to, not that either one of them noticed.

I turned to Carlisle again, and he was standing with a very tall man who was changed when he was older. I smiled and extended a hand to him. "You must be Eleazar." I said cordially.

His smile widened. "And you must be Bella." He shook my hand for some time, until it became a bit awkward. He watched me very closely. "My my, Bella. You're quite a powerful shield. Did you know that?" He wondered.

I had no idea what the hell he was talking about. "I'm sorry?"

Carlisle pulled me against him and kissed my temple gently. "Eleazar can see human and vampire gifts. He can tell immediately what someone can do. It seems, my love, that you are a shield."

I watched the both of them carefully and bit my lip. "What does that mean, though?"

Eleazar smiled. "She's quite a spitfire, isn't she?" He marveled.

My frown deepened and I waited for them to finish. "It means, my dear, that you can block people from your thoughts. Some shields can expand their gift over others, and temporarily use other's gifts. You could also protect others from being hurt by someone with harmful powers. Kate can electrocute others by touching them. Would you be so bold as to see if she could do it to you?"

I shrugged. "I won't die from it." I laughed. She walked to me slowly and grinned.

"I won't go full blast, alright?" She warned.

She extended a slender and slowly, slowly, touched mine.

Nothing. Not even a tingle.

She concentrated a bit, and still; nothing.

Eleazar laughed. "My oh my she's quite rare."

Kate pulled away from me and nodded. "I've never seen anyone make it through that. Did you not feel a thing?" She wondered.

I shook my head and everyone giggled. "Perhaps you should work on training it?" Eleazar wondered.

I looked at him as though he was crazy. "Where would I even begin?"

"Well, no one knows how to control their gifts immediately. One day, you'll just feel it. Now that you know it's there, you will be able to look for it inside yourself. It's different with each person, anyhow." He explained.

"You only just woke up, my love." Carlisle soothed. He always knew when I needed to be calmed a bit.

I nodded and leaned against him further. "I need a bit of air." I said seriously.

His face contorted in concern and I smoothed my fingers over his face. "Would you like me to come with you?" He asked quietly.

I shook my head. "Please, I'll only be a few moments. It just… still smells like my Dad in here." I said very honestly.

His eyes widened and he nodded. "Of course. Take your time." I kissed him gently and went outside quickly. I ran far enough away from the house that I no long heard everyone talking.

I didn't want a gift. How am I supposed to know it's there, when I can't even feel it? I paced miserably in the woods, unsure of why I felt so worried. I focused very hard on 'feeling it out' inside myself, and nothing happened aside from me feeling embarrassed.

I paced harder and jumped when someone spoke. "You will wear a hole in the Earth." Edward teased.

I glared at him openly. "That was Tanya? That was the girl that I was never supposed to worry about?" I wailed.

His face widened with absolute surprise. "You're jealous?" He asked doubtfully.

"No!" I wailed louder.

He laughed and I glared at him more intensely. "There's nothing to be jealous of, Bella." He promised.

I nodded. "Of course, nothing is going on."

He shook his head. "I didn't say that, I simply said that you should not be jealous."

I stopped pacing immediately and watched him. "You… and Tanya?" I sputtered.

He shrugged. "I want to give it a try. I've been alone for so long. She and I get along quite well, also. You have Carlisle, don't be jealous."

Realization hit me like a ton of bricks. "I don't know why I'm being like this. You're right." I conceded.

He smiled crookedly. "Don't worry about your gift. When I was first turned, I heard everyone's thoughts, no matter what. It was awful. I was certain it was going to drive me mad. One day, just as Eleazar said, you'll understand your gift. Be glad yours is so subtle that it does not bother you until then."

I watched him for a moment and sighed. "You're right again. Thank you, Edward."

He smiled and paced around me. "Were you really jealous?" He laughed.

I nodded. "I don't know why. I just… it's strange to see you with someone else."

He tipped his head at me and his slender fingers pulled his hair into even more disarray. "I completely understand that. Come back to the house, please. Carlisle is wearing a hole in the carpet over whether or not he should find you."

I laughed and nodded, before taking his hand and walking back to the house.

True to Edward's word, Carlisle was pacing only now on the front porch. "Bella!" He sighed.

Edward smiled and squeezed my fingertips before letting me go. It was a truce, in every sense. "I'm sorry Carlisle, I was… overwhelmed."

He nodded and kissed me gently. "It was very much to deal with, I know. I don't want you to worry, my love. Everything will work out." He promised.

As I looked into his gentle golden eyes, I knew he was exactly right.

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**It was a shorter chapter, but most of this will be wrapped up in the Epilogue. Please review! and check out my other story and review, also! Thank you again!**


	36. Epilogue

**Hello everyone! Here we go! This is the absolute last chapter. =[ It makes me so sad, as I've come to love them so much. Now I have time to write my other story, though. Thank you all so so so much for all your kind words. To Keeper_of_the_Covenant, IThinkINeededThat, CCisGod, Cullen_Cousin, Conan_in_love and EVERYONE else that reviewed regularly, or at all. I hope this story is everything you hoped it would be. As it was my first fanfiction ever, I am quite pleased with it. 1500 reviews? I can't believe it! Thank you again!**

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_Three years later_

"Isabella Swan! Unlock this door before we kick it in!" Alice yelled.

I rolled my eyes and popped the lock. What I didn't expect was a cavalry to roll in. I stood in my bra, underwear and chemise and glared as Alice, Jasper, Rosalie, Emmett, Edward and Tanya walked into my room. "Christ! Did anyone bring a video camera? I'm not sure enough people are seeing me naked right now." I seethed.

Alice sighed while Rosalie pushed me into the chair and started pulling strands my hair straight. "We've seen you worse, Bella." Rosalie promised. "Don't forget who waxed you when you were turning. Eternal leg hair would have been a disaster."

I clenched my fists in my lap and nodded. "Do the guys have to be in here?" I asked.

Edward groaned. "Carlisle's thoughts are impossible right now. Not that being in here is any better." He moaned.

It was then that I noticed the set of his jaw, and the black of his eyes. He was very annoyed. I focused a bit and expanded my shield so I could pick up what was upsetting him. -Can't believe he's not going to do anything about his hair! It's a wedding for God's sake! The whole sex-hair is fine and well any other day of the week, but Edwards not even trying anymore!… Rosalie's _dress is prettier than mine! I knew I should have gone for the sleeveless dress!…- _Tanya's thoughts were more prominent than everyone else's, but the banter was utter chaos for him.

I focused a bit more and lifted my shield from me. _You want me to shut her out?_ I asked him pointedly.

His gold eyes snapped to mine and he smiled gently. With little to no effort, I covered everyone else in the room. Edward relaxed instantly and mouthed me a thank you.

When I figured out how to manipulate my gift, I realized just how much Edward's was a burden. I made it my personal job to make sure he never had to be over-whelmed by it again. I could now cover my family consistently with almost no effort.

Rosalie started curling and pinning random sections of my hair while Alice applied some mascara and eyeliner. I didn't need much else, aside from blush so I would look less pale.

"I'm so jealous of your lip color!" Alice whined. "How did they get so pink?" She wondered.

Rosalie rolled her eyes and tugged a bit harder than I'd have liked. "Christ, Alice. Really?"

They bantered back and forth and I twisted my hands in my lap nervously. Edward cleared his throat from the couch and I knew he wanted my attention. I shifted the shield away from me, and covered the both of us. _Why are you so nervous?_ He asked without opening his mouth.

I flicked my eyes to Rosalie and Alice. _This should be a pleasant day. I'm stressed out._

He laughed. _You look wonderful, so at least they are doing their jobs_.

I huffed. _I want them out when they are done_.

He nodded, and I shifted my shield back to cover everyone.

Alice gritted her teeth. "I hate when the two of you do that! It's so rude." Her eyes darted away from me and she stomped her foot. "You asked Edward to kick us out when we're done! Bella!"

I shrugged. "You're all driving me crazy!" I whined. When my make-up and hair was finished, Alice had everyone leave the room except for her and Rosalie.

They hoisted my dress from the bag that hung on the door. The bag read Vera Wang and I sighed. "I thought you said my dress was custom made."

Alice nodded. "Yes, from Vera herself!" She chirped.

They pulled the champagne colored gown and helped me into it. While they tugged and laced me up, I glanced down at the ring he gave me.

His Mother's actual ring.

Without knowing it, he had given us the theme for the wedding. A bit Victorian and a bit modern. My dress was exactly that. The bodice was tight-fitting while the skirt flared out dramatically. There were antique, champagne colored roses that adorned the trim. It was absolutely perfect.

The ring was antique diamonds set in Italian gold. It looked so beautiful that I had cried.

Tearlessly, which was stranger than you can imagine.

"You're done!" Alice clapped.

Rosalie whistled. "You are so fucking pretty, Bella."

I would have blushed if I still could. "Thanks. When do we start?" I asked and my voice shook.

Alice smiled. "We've got fifteen minutes or so. Would you like me to send Jasper to calm you down?"

I laughed. "No, no. I'm not nervous. I'm excited. I'm getting married. To my mate! How lucky am I?" I asked while smoothing my fingers over the pendant he had given me.

It seemed like ages ago.

"I remember how amazing it felt when I married Emmett." Rosalie giggled. "For the first time, and every time after that it was amazing."

I laughed. "Okay. I just need a moment, please."

They nodded and exited my room quietly. I took a few calming breaths and smelled the roses and freesia from downstairs. Alice had spared no expense.

When they had asked where I would like to get married, our home was the only logical place for me. I loved this house, because it was where we learned of our love for one another.

I smoothed my fingers through the large skirt of the dress and smiled when I heard the music start downstairs. Alice knocked and cracked the door. "The show's on the road, sweetheart. Let's go."

I nodded and hoisted my skirt. Alice arranged the bridesmaids and groomsmen while my Dad met me at the top of the stairs. "Wow, Bella. You look beautiful." He greeted.

I smiled widely. "You think so?" I asked while flaring the skirt dramatically.

He nodded. "There isn't a day I don't think so, honey."

"I love you, Dad." I whispered.

He kissed my chilly cheek and inhaled at the temperature of my skin. "Love you too, kid."

The procession started, and we walked slowly down the stairs. The ceilings were decorated in large strands of gold and cream silk, while huge vases of roses and freesia took up copious amounts of space. There were twinkling lights throughout the strands of silk, which made the entire foyer glow ethereally.

Finally, we stepped down into the room, and I could see him.

He was wearing a black suit with gold silk tie and boutonniere. His hair was loose around his face, and he looked devastatingly gorgeous.

He always did.

My pace picked up a bit and my Dad gripped my elbow a bit tighter. "He'll be there when you get there, Bella." He promised.

Carlisle cracked a smile, he heard Charlie just fine.

Suddenly, finally, at last, I was standing before the altar. My Dad kissed my cheek again, before placing my hand in Carlisle's. He smiled gently. "Thank you, Charlie." He whispered.

My Dad grunted before moving to sit down. Before the priest even started, I grabbed Carlisle and kissed him with all I had. He laughed in surprise, before kissing me back. The priest cleared his throat while our family whooped behind us.

The service was beautiful, though I'm shameful to admit I paid little attention to anything other than Carlisle. The way the golden lights and decorations made his eyes twinkle. The way his broad shoulders went on for miles in that suit.

His mouth twitched and I knew he was thinking of me, too.

"Isabella, do you promise to take Carlisle from this day forward for as long as you both shall live?" I nodded eagerly. "I do."

Carlisle smiled as he repeated the line. "I do." He said just as enthusiastically.

We had altered the vows because we would never get sick, we'd never be poor, we'd never die. We had a definite leg-up on these vows.

We promised to love each other forever. That seemed important enough.

"I now pronounce you Mr. and Mrs. Carlisle Cullen! You may now kiss your bride."

Carlisle swept me in his arms and kissed me deeply. I wrapped my arms around his waist while he smoothed his fingers down the sides of my neck. We pulled apart and sighed at the loss of contact. There was always later.

Alice had the wedding flow smoothly into the reception. The band played mostly classical music, and that was fine with me. I wasn't a dancer.

Carlisle and I danced our first dance to a song that Edward wrote for us. It was so beautiful with his soaring octaves and ethereal quality that I sought him out and mouthed a thank you to him. He nodded, and a crooked grin graced his sharp features.

Carlisle kissed my lips gently as we twirled around the dance floor. "Mrs. Cullen, I've never seen anyone look so beautiful as you do tonight." He promised. "I thank God for you, Isabella."

I shuddered at the feel of his breath on my collar bone and ran my lips over his jaw. "There was so much doubt for us. I'm so thankful that you didn't give up. That we didn't give up." I whispered.

He growled and pulled me tighter. "You're my eternity, Bella. I could not give you up, just as I can not imagine trying." He sighed.

My throat ached with tears I could never cry. "We have forever, now."

His smiled was devastating. He was like a movie star from the fifties, only far more elegant and beautiful. "We do, my love."

After the first dance, we cut the cake. There was no one to fool at my wedding, so we didn't have to stuff it into each others mouths. Alice had told me that there were going to be no humans at my wedding. Aside from my Father, of course.

My surprise at the wolves showing up, however, was very real. She had invited the wolves, and everyone showed up. It was a huge step towards resolve as far as their treaty went.

My Father and I had a dance as well. He stepped on my toes a lot but thankfully it didn't hurt at all. He was never one for heart-felt words, but I could tell he was really happy.

I was glad for it, because I was on cloud nine.

Esme showed up as well. It was a bit awkward, as she wore black from head to toe. Carlisle had scowled about it, but it was fine. She had to mourn in her own way.

The Denali coven had not yet left our home since I was first turned, and that suited me fine. Tanya really was perfect for Edward, aside from her endless rambling in her thoughts. He had me, though, to help him with that.

I certainly owed him, so I never thought anything of it.

"Excuse me, would you mind terribly if I asked for a dance?" Edward said in a formal tone.

I giggled and nodded. "I'd be delighted." I cooed.

He held me at arms length while we turned. His face was relaxed as we spun around the room. "I am so jealous that this quiet comes to everyone else naturally." He laughed.

I still had my shield covering everyone else around us, so things were quiet for him. I shifted my shield quickly, so it covered only he and I. I found I loved talking with him like this. _You don't have to keep doing that. I can hear the steady compulsion it takes to keep it that way. You could also cover only us. I've never been bothered by reading your mind._

I laughed. _Nice try. My thoughts are my own. Aside from our little chats, I don't want you to know._

He laughed and shifted me a bit closer. _I have you forever now, anyway_. He said with mild satisfaction.

_All of you, do._ I reminded.

_I promise to be there for you, Bella. You deserve nothing less than perfect, and I intend to try for you._

I kissed his cheek gently and Tanya huffed. _You've already proved that to me. Edward, I love you._

He grinned. _I love you, Bella. I must go to Tanya before she tears me a new one._

I smiled about that, and shifted the shield back to cover everyone else. I knew he wouldn't want to hear anything she had to think right now.

At the end of the night, Alice and Rosalie brought me upstairs to change into my going away outfit. It consisted of a white dress with grey boots. My hair that was pinned up had several pins that when removed, made my hair flow loosely and freely. "I'm so happy for you, Bella." Alice said seriously.

Rosalie nodded and twirled a strand of my hair. "Are you sure you don't want to go somewhere else? I mean we own an island…"

I sighed. "We certainly will go to the island eventually. I just think it's appropriate that we take our honeymoon there, though. Thank you both for everything. I'll see you both soon." I promised.

I got a group hug from them, before we went downstairs. Edward and Carlisle were talking quite intensely, before Edward wrapped his arms around Carlisle and they hugged tightly. I could tell everything was perfect between them, and I was ecstatic.

Carlisle took my hand in the crook of his arm and I kissed my Dad and Edward goodbye. We didn't bother with taking a car as it was mostly pointless. We could run faster than we could drive, especially in the snow.

We ran for a few hours before we could see the lights up ahead. "Carlisle." I breathed. We ran a bit faster before we were standing exactly where we were the first night he took me to see the northern lights.

I remember it vaguely. The colors were pretty, but he was right. They were nothing like this.

There were violets and deep reds as well as the greens and blues. The purple and red were almost invisible to my eyes, so a human would never see it. The colors were so vivid and amazing that my jaw gaped at the wonder of it. "Is it stupid that because it's so beautiful all I want is to touch it?" I laughed.

He pulled me against his back and groaned. "Not at all. I'm having the same issue at the moment." He whispered hotly.

I swallowed tightly and pressed against him suggestively. "You don't have to worry about me getting cold, now."

He groaned again. "Is that why Alice put you in a skin-tight sweater dress? You look like your legs go on for miles."

I gaped at his words. "Maybe you should check and find out." I conceded.

He smoothed his palms over my hips and down my thighs before catching the hem of the skirt and smoothing it up, toward my waist. He pulled away from my back enough that he could see between us. His growl was mostly constant, now. "My God." He breathed.

He obviously found the scrap of white lace that was my underwear. "Like what you see, Hubby?" I asked lightly.

He laughed. "Oh, Mrs. Cullen very much so. He smoothed his fingers over my exposed hips and moaned. "Take your dress off, before I rip it." He managed.

My mouth went dry and I nodded before hoisting the dress over my head and dropping it in the snow next to us. He pulled me tightly against his back again, so he could see my bra over my shoulder.

His firm length pressed against the small of my back while he cupped the demi-cups of my tiny white lace bra. "Christ." He whispered. My head lolled onto his shoulder while he cupped my breasts in his hands. He slipped his thumbs into the cups and grazed his thumb over my nipples.

I bucked against him, and he pressed against me slowly. I stepped away from him while he pulled his shirt off, then his pants and boxers. He was naked, and the colors glinting off his skin made this absolutely unreal. He was mine, and I couldn't believe it. He kneeled in front of me and hooked his fingers in the tiny fabric of my thong before guiding it down my legs. He inhaled greedily at the scent of my arousal as I stepped out of the underwear.

I widened my stance a bit, so his traveling fingers could find what I so desperately wanted him to. He smoothed his fingers over my over-heated core, and I swooned.

He growled and tossed one of my legs over his shoulder, before he buried his face in my heat. I moaned loudly while his tongue brought me to release very quickly. My legs wobbled, and he dropped my leg before he spun me around.

While he kneeled behind me, I straddled his thighs and impaled myself on him. He thrust inside me deeply, yet slowly. We had all the time in the world, and we never got tired. He unhooked my bra and tossed it away from us so he could cup my breasts in his perfect hands. I wrapped my arms behind my head, so I could secure his mouth against my neck.

I fell forward onto my palms, and he sat up on his knees. His thrusts turned aggressively desperate, and I came again, within only minutes.

With a few more powerful thrusts, he came deep inside me. "Mine." He whispered to the air around us.

I pulled away from him enough so I could straddle him while he faced me. He was already hard again, so I sunk down over him slowly. "Yours." I agreed.

He palmed my thighs while he sank me over his length slowly. His mouth latched onto my nipple and I gripped his silky strands desperately. We came again, hours later. We could have gone again, but dawn was coming and the lights would only last a few more moments. "I'm in love with you, Carlisle." I whispered.

He pulled me tighter against him. "As I love you, my Beloved." He promised.

I rested against his chest while we kissed deeply. We had forever to be together.

He was mine all along.

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**Thank you all for everything! Please check out my other Bellisle, Of Morals and Temptation. Reviews are still Dilf-worthy love.**


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